Are You Sabotaging Your Success? (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

[Green Lady]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Are You Sabotaging Your Success?

Even before I read the article I'll just say: yes, all the time.

Now, I'm going to read it.

[Bliss Sage]

Well, it rarely happens to me that one of Steve's or Erin's articles reflects something I'm going through or "stuck" in...This one, however, is really apropos, since I am in the process of trying to attain 3 goals. I think I have a pretty good handle on one of them - a new business. I'm feeling a little shaky about the other two. One is, I am trying to manifest a certain apartment, while I am living transitionally in ... not the best situation at a sort of transitional hotel ("youth hostel" of sorts). Surrounded by not the highest quality of people - which is not having a good effect on my emotional state either...

Anyway, the ultimate and most important goal is the third one. What do I do if I can't think of things I'm afraid of? Except that I'm apparently afraid that I'll never be together with that person...I want to be together with. Or that I won't be with him soon enough. I didn't fear that a month ago. Oh, and fear that I won't come through for us...since it all weighs on me now, whether I succeed in the other 2 goals...fast enough. Shoot.

ok
sigh

[JoePike]

Thanks Erin, this is one of those posts that really hits home for me. Something immediately came to mind - a friend is a realtor and recently posted some pics of a new listing she has on Facebook. The house is gorgeous and exactly what I want to move my family and me into at some point.

But now that I think about it...lots of sabotaging thoughts creep in whenever I look at the photos. I don't know how to take care of a pool and it would be a pain. I've never kept up such beautiful landscaping before. We'd have to buy too much new furniture for such a big house. etc. etc.

You're absolutely right that it's good to identify these thoughts so I can nip them in the bud and move forward with my goal.

[yoopersmith]

Hey Erin,

This is funny, I just started doing this course last week!

Online Course: Overcoming Self-Sabotage by Debbie Ford | Intent.com

Your article is awesome as usual...THANKS! for rocking it

Jeff

[HiImJeremy]

Hi Erin, great article.

Could this also work for a goal of developing your psychic ability to a high degree to eventually help other people?

For example. I feel im not developing fast enough, but by your suggestion i looked at what i felt i am afraid of facing to get to this goal. What i was afraid of would be seeing bad things or having bad experiences like attracting bad energies and what not and not knowing how to handle it. Or maybe another would be giving inaccurate information, avoiding meditation because it can be boring or not being able to recognise intuitive guidance etc.

If i looked at addressing these and individually found a way i could better handle these aspects or in some aspects face them (fears), i am taking away the risk of faliure and increasing my chances of success?

I think this is what you're trying to say. But it can work for any goal i have, right?

[Angela]

Erin, now that public speaking is no longer a problem that stops you in your life, have you programmed in the unconscious learning that you don't need the weight to protect you from having to speak in public anymore -- and noticed a difference in releasing it?

Sometimes we get new learnings and resources, but our unconscious minds keep operating with the old, outdated programs until we really *get* the new choice at a deeply unconscious level.

[Erin Pavlina]

Hi Angela I've considered that. I told the weight that I'm going to speak in public no matter what it wants to do with me, so it can go at any time. there are probably different fears that keep it hanging on.

@jeremy: it's good that you identified the blocks/fears. Why are you not training with me? My training covers all those areas. They won't be a problem for you at all. But yes, you can mitigate those fears with practice, experience, and training.

@Joepike: good example of how a limiting belief can stop you. You can hire someone to maintain your pool and landscaping and never have to worry about it, or you can learn since it is obviously learnable since other people can do it.

[carenkh]

I read a book recently, or technically, listened to it on audible.com, and SO MUCH about self-sabotage came to light. The book is called "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendrix, and the gist of it is, we have internalized so many messages about happiness being bad, being limited, etc., that once we're feeling good, we'll make choices so that we feel bad again! There is a part of many of us that believes we aren't supposed to, or can't, feel good for a long period of time. He calls making those choices to feel bad "upper limiting" yourself.

I LOVE this book! It's brought some positive changes in a short period of time.

The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

So in addition to hidden fears and reservations, I have blocked my own success because I had been feeling too good! How goofy.

[Aware]

Yes, I am. Although I had not been doing this for a long time - as I was in acceptance of what I was becoming and proud and content to continue on the path to achieve my goal which enabled me to fully live my life.

But, an event occured in August and since then I had indulged in self-sabotage once and then once in October, on my Birthday, then it was a month of succeeding and then again on Hallow'een I began to self sabotage myself. The periods of self-sabotaigng grow longer and worse in intensity and physical sabotage, each time. Although I managed to pull myself off the gorund and get back up on the track, now I have self sabotaged twice withi the space of two weeks. This SCARES me. I have had this pattern before. I want nothing more than to break it but I feel I must hve a fear of breaking it. I can't go on like this, I resume work tomorrow and will need to stop acting like a crazy lady. Something, please allow me to find the strength to stop these actions.

I don't know about you, but I have considered hypnotism for this and if it wasn't for the cost I would have booked it long ago. However, now when I have the money again I will book it straight away. This is my health and this kind of thing cannot wait. It is ruining my life(I am) and I won't allow myself to ruin how far I have come.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I read a book recently, or technically, listened to it on audible.com, and SO MUCH about self-sabotage came to light. The book is called "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendrix, and the gist of it is, we have internalized so many messages about happiness being bad, being limited, etc., that once we're feeling good, we'll make choices so that we feel bad again! There is a part of many of us that believes we aren't supposed to, or can't, feel good for a long period of time. He calls making those choices to feel bad "upper limiting" yourself.

I LOVE this book! It's brought some positive changes in a short period of time.

The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

So in addition to hidden fears and reservations, I have blocked my own success because I had been feeling too good! How goofy.

i think i'll get it on audible thanks caren!

[ellie]

Great post! This is just what I am dealing with at the moment. I am sabotaging my business, because of fear. Now I have to nut out what is going on. Off to look at that book.

[Weena]

I'm a match for success but I guess some sabotage goes on in the "time management" area. Always fun to be a work at home mother... I sell personal belongings and of course my own creations on different websites and it has happened a few times that i get all the packages/invoices ready around 7 am with a crying baby next to me... I want to be a successful mother and a successful creator so i think i have to do one during the day, one during late evenings ....

[invisiblehouses]

This article actually inspired me to do some journaling about a certain goal I've been (not) working (hard enough) on.

I managed to identify six distinct fears associated with achieving that goal, and found at least two limiting beliefs feeding into each one...things like:

• I haven't changed
• I never fail to disappoint
• Other people having expectations of you leads to pain (or at least headaches)

I even managed to identify where some of this garbage came from.

Of course, "working through something" and "acting on it" are still two different things...I've been sidling up to the "what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?" cliff for a couple years now. I'm brave enough to look over the edge now, but actually jumping still seems a frightening prospect.

[Lionman]

Great post Erin, bit of a synchro for me at the moment actually!

[Lynn 007]

Thanks for the reminder Erin.

It used to take me FOREVER!!! to decide on a goal because I could easily talk myself out of it and at the end of the day rarely achieve anything.

Now, I'm more focused on goals and really enjoy setting them. One thing that I always ask myself when setting any goal is the 5 W's (Who , What Where When and Why).

Who will be present when I achieve this goal? current friends, new friends. Do I feel comfortable knowing some people may not be in alignment with my goal and may try to hold me back if I let them? Am I prepared to make decision that are in my best interest.

What will it feel like when I've reached this goal? How will my day be different from what it is now? Do I want that?

Where will I be when I achieve this goal? The day I achieve a goal, where will I be? what is the environment like around me? Am I at my PC? crossing a race finish line? at an airport?

When will this happen? what is the time frame? Is it reasonable? what obstacles will I face? am I prepared to work through and overcome them?

Last but not least Why do I want to achieve this goal? What will this do for me?

Once I can honestly answer all of those questions and am in alignment and with what needs to be done and what I am prepared to do, then I can start putting the process in motion.

Thanks again for the reminder. 2011 will be full of new goals and challenges.

Lynn

[lookcloser]

Yeah!! I'm continuing to screw up my exams and I'm stuck at zero productivity because I fear that my parents are gonna resent me or try to stop me from doing what I want, even if I'm successful at it!

Jeez.

[danas]

Thank you! Great article.

I was thinking of some of how I was sabotaging my success in the past and how once resolved I succeeded. And which contradictory thoughts are sabotaging my yet to be fulfilled goals

[StephanieMarigold]

I may be a little late to the party, but this blog entry made me think about why I'm sabotaging my own weight loss efforts. I hadn't consciously realized I was doing that until I read your blog and saw myself in it though my hurdles might be different. I don't have to worry about the public speaking thing though.

I shall be following your blog with interest and reading back entries. Is it okay to comment on past entries even if the thread is old or is thread necromancy frowned upon here?

[Erin Pavlina]

it's okay to comment on old blog entries. we frown on the other threads because the original poster is often long gone

but feel free to comment on any of the blog articles

[HiImJeremy]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

@jeremy: it's good that you identified the blocks/fears. Why are you not training with me? My training covers all those areas. They won't be a problem for you at all. But yes, you can mitigate those fears with practice, experience, and training.

Haha, i have actually thought of taking your development course Erin, but here are my personal blocks. 1) is that you are in America and i am in Australia. 2) I can't afford it! lol.

Would be great to one day though. Until then i'll have to make do thanks very much

[Erin Pavlina]

I'll have to create a Skype class then for people too far away to come in person.

[HiImJeremy]

There you are again with your brilliant ideas

Padawan 101 is still a possibility! lol