Honoring the Tears (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Honoring the Tears

[nube]

Nice article Erin, I needed that today, so thanks I have been curious about where bad feelings fit in, in this whole LOA thing. I think it is important to acknowledge them and look into them, but at the same time try not to drown in them, or get addicted to feeling depressed, sad etc.

btw, I think I prefered the blog without pictures.

[ChrisG]

@nube: I beg to differ :P Erin, the pictures are wonderful

I actually thought that if you focus too much on the negative you BLOCK yourself from getting over it (by LoA and stuff). But if it's a case of release then yeah, this sounds awesome.

[Erin Pavlina]

Tears are the soul's way of releasing emotional toxins from your body. Let them flush out the negative to make way for the positive.

You never want to ignore the feelings you're having. That pulls you out of alignment with truth. Acknowledge them so you can release them, otherwise they will keep rearing up at you.

Oh and I added the photos because as a contributor to The Daily Brainstorm | I had to add photos or they wouldn't list my articles.

[StacyT]

Love it Erin! I am one of those people who tend to hold it all inside. I've been recently working on opening up my heart chakra and last week while everyone was sitting around the living room at Thanksgiving I just melted down and started crying. Uncontrollably. In front of my husband's family. It was SO not like me but it made everyone else in the room cry too! It was really weird but it felt so good!

[Divajules]

I actually envy people with the ability to "control" their emotions. I guess that is because I practically broadcast mine (unintentionally). It can be very annoying to not be able to hold back the tears!! I don't want to stifle my emotions by any means but a little control would be nice!!!

I have no trouble crying about anything. I am one of those who wants to stifle the tears but I find it nearly impossible and always have. This is how I deal with things, apparently. My challenge has been to accept this part of myself but it has not been easy. The old limiting belief that says "only the weak cry" is dying a slow death.

I have tried to embrace that part of myself more. I am emotionally expressive and always have been. I still cry a lot but I am less judgmental about it these days. I guess I am just a natural toxin releaser, LOL.

Thank you for sharing that vulnerable stuff. It does help the rest of us to know that even people like you (strong, successful etc.) have difficulty coping from time to time.

[st33med]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Tears are the soul's way of releasing emotional toxins from your body. Let them flush out the negative to make way for the positive.

I don't see the emotions as toxins. It's just an overflow of emotions that spills over and you release it through your tears.

[jayh]

Loved the article. I wish I got such clear communications from my higher self! Or maybe I do and I just don't know it??

[yoopersmith]

Hey Erin,

Great work!!! I've done this crying exercise myself, and my experience is similar to yours...hard to face, but when you do, you can let it go.

Monday, after an very emotional day at work, I felt my heart tugging at me, at I finally released and accepted the feeling....and it turned out to be a GIANT belly laugh of joy!!!!

I silently belly laughed in bed for about 5 minutes and was amazed just have much laughing is like crying....my emotions were a little mixed, like I was joyful to the point of tears, but the joy was dominate in the end...

Moving through Monday and Tuesday was very emotional...Mostly because my decision to move on might affect my co-worker. There is a strong possibly that he will be laid off...not because of my departure, but my departure is changing the dynamic of the office.

I knew that I had to move through all of that, but it was very emotional and difficult...

This whole "QUIT YOUR JOB" experience has been a giant level up for me...I learned that...

1) Even if other people feel hurt by my choices, I still have the right to follow my heart and path.

2) Moving through the events of "following my heart" inspired the people who I thought I was going to hurt. They did freak out...but I stayed with them and just kept speaking my truth....they totally respected my choice and supported me and at the same time, were very sorry I was leaving.

THANKS for sharing your experience!!!

[openeyes]

My dad passed away in July on his 63rd birthday. Since he'd been in bad shape from multiple strokes, at the time I felt more relief than grief, having done much of the mourning while he was still alive. A couple weeks later I had a dream where he came to see me and I spoke to him about his passing and began crying. Then I woke up into another dream where I told my girlfriend about it and began crying again, waking up into another dream where I told her about that and cried again, just going through it on multiple dream levels, finally waking up into this level, where my face remains dry.

Last month my girlfriend's dad passed away, just a few days after going on hospice from cancer. It brought back and intensified a lot of feelings about my dad, while at the same time helping me be there for my girlfriend and her family. We were able to be at home with him for his last breath, playing his favorite music. Just as with my dad, for my girlfriend and her mom there was more relief than grief since it had been a long illness. Tonight we had the memorial service and it was beautiful. Several dozen friends that had known him for 30-40+ years came together for the evening. It was a night with some tears, but more joy in seeing new and old faces, discussing old times and planning new meetings. Energy was freed up and rekindled.

There have been plenty of tears shed, and they've washed away old painful circumstances so that new light may be let in.

[Andrew Gubb]

Beautiful article Erin

[DonnaBiz]

Erin, I love that you shared this with us.
I think when we get in touch with our intuition, we instinctively know that the only way to get the "stuff" out is to realease it through tears.

[Erin Pavlina]

yes, as Haggrid says, "Better out than in."

[Mato Kinze]

You know how when you get a new car, you start to see that same make and model all over the place?

Erin's blog is like that for me.

A little more than two years ago, I was laid off. Things were pretty bad, but I kept telling myself, "Don't worry. Things will work out for the best. This is an opportunity to learn. Don't be angry. Anger is pointless and destructive. Besides, there's no one to be angry at. Just go with this. Keep your eyes, ears and Heart open and this will be an amazing experience for you."

All sounds like good advice. I mean, if you read any of the other posts in any of the other forums, this is what everyone advises right? Hell...it's what I have advised people on numerous (more than I can count) occasions.

So every time I began to fell angry - anger that I was having to work two full-time, minimum wage jobs working twice as much as I had before and making a third of the money I had when I was professionally employed; anger that I could not be there when my daughter got smacked in the face with a chain and had to have over 20 stitches over her eye even though she was crying and begging her mommy for her daddy because I couldn't take off work; anger that I was getting only three to four hours of sleep a night, six days a week and was so tired the other day that I couldn't function with my family; anger that I could not participate as a full partner in the household chores, putting all the burden on my wife and kids to do the things that I would normally have done.... When I would feel even a hint of this anger, I would run through this litany of advice and I would "release" that anger. At least that's what I thought I was doing. What I was actually doing was stuffing it deep down inside without honoring it. I was saying that these emotions, this anger, was not valid.

Then, one day, my poor wife said one small thing that just hit me the wrong way. I exploded. All that anger that I'd been stuffing down inside me, telling myself I didn't deserve to feel and shouldn't be feeling all came pouring out in the most disgusting, hurtful and reprehensible way. It was the closest I have come in a LONG time to losing complete control and closest I have ever come to hitting my wife.

When I calmed down, I realized very quickly what had happened. And I realized that the answer is in the word: "Emotion"

Remember Einstein? E=Mc2? Where E=Energy?

So, ok... Emotion... E Motion... Energy [in] Motion

I realized that we MUST honor ALL emotions. We must not deny what we feel because to do so is to deny who we are and what we have been created to be.

However, we cannot hold on to ANY emotion, for to do that is stop the flow of natural energy and create a toxicity that is damaging to ourselves and potentially those around us.

So, now, I try to make sure that I do not allow myself to invalidate ANY emotion I may be feeling. Instead, I allow it to be, I examine it, (sometimes like you'd poke a dead squirrel with a stick...but still I examine it) and I allow myself to undertand where it comes from. Then, I let it go and move on to the next emotion - whatever that may be.

As the man who fell off the roof of a 30 storey building was heard to say all the way down: "So far so good."

[Erin Pavlina]

Taht was powerful Mato. Thanks for sharing that. I totally agree. Energy in motion is a motto my friend Vicki had on her business cards several years ago.

[Mato Kinze]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Taht was powerful Mato. Thanks for sharing that. I totally agree. Energy in motion is a motto my friend Vicki had on her business cards several years ago.

Hah. Yeah... I seem to get smacked upside the head on a semi-regular basis by "Powerful" experiences.

I s'pose that's the only time I actually Listen.

[elucidate]

You're awesome Mato Kinze. Thankyou for the reminder Erin. I am usually good with letting my emotions surface, though sometime I get the urge to cry, and I can feel like it is there ready to come, and then it just won't? It feels like I can't almost, and not because I don't want to or don't think it is the best most healing thing to do...it just kinda gets stuck, and I'm a bit worried about it actually?

I did cry the other night when I read the story of this woman who had been horribly mistreated by her father as a child...I felt SO incredibly angry at him, and I didn't even know her. hearing about child abuse I think really brings out powerful emotions in all of us. She said that she couldn't let herself feel her anger, as she feared it would burn her up, and I was scared for her. I felt like I actually got angry for her, even though we'd never met (it was online).

That's one thing I do have to be careful of...taking on other peoples emotions and expressing them for them? But that's for another thread

[aliveforever]

hi,
i have been going through my worst phase, its been two months now that i lost my brother in an accident, after going through your blog felt so much relieved so wanted to thank you ..
takecare

[Erin Pavlina]

Glad you found the blog and I'm so sorry to hear of your brothers' accident.