How can we learn to love rude people?

[Gbob]

I'm sure you've met people in daily life that for no apparent reason seem to be rude or say things in an impolite manner even though they don't know you. I realize that some of the times it's not intended, that our perception of the situation is too critical and serious. However there are a few in life that really make me go 'argh!' inside...do you know what I mean? My immediate reaction is then 'argh, that person is so annoying!'.

Is it ok to be angered in the moment but then forgive them afterwards or is it best to forgive them there and then?

[VinceG]

People are rude all the time, chances are, you're rude too some of the time. Until you understand why people are rude, you'll never be able to properly react to it.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by Gbob

I'm sure you've met people in daily life that for no apparent reason seem to be rude or say things in an impolite manner even though they don't know you.

Actually, no .... I can't really remember the last time I experienced such a situation. Although logically, it must have happened before.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Gbob

I'm sure you've met people in daily life that for no apparent reason seem to be rude or say things in an impolite manner even though they don't know you. I realize that some of the times it's not intended, that our perception of the situation is too critical and serious. However there are a few in life that really make me go 'argh!' inside...do you know what I mean? My immediate reaction is then 'argh, that person is so annoying!'.

Is it ok to be angered in the moment but then forgive them afterwards or is it best to forgive them there and then?

I think it works best to forgive all those annoying people, including yourself, ahead of time.

By which I mean: Practice a policy of noticing that everyone, including yourself, is doing the best they can with the resources they have access to in the moment. Generate a habit of noticing that whenever anyone opens their mouth, they do so to contribute, even when you don't have access to knowing what that positive purpose is right then and there. Take a bold look at what you make it mean about yourself when someone says or does something that you choose to feel annoyed by, and notice that you have choice in the matter -- it's not them that's making you feel annoyed, it's your thoughts about them that has you feeling annoyed. And you have choice in the matter of the thoughts you think.

Don't you?

[James81]

Rude, even the really rude, is a decision you make based on a set of expectations you have. Some of those expectations are personal, others are societal. The societal ones probably occur as more rude because you have the reinforcement of agreement for them.

To transform the rude people in your life, a very effective way of doing so is to let go of your expectations for them.