Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Penelopi · 12-01-2009, 06:50 AM

Hi! Oky, I feel kinda shy asking but I feel like I should try, I read your posts and i hope you can also help me with this, thankyou

English is not my first lang so sorry for wrong grammar. Anyway, I feel like im having split personality, ego death...

It started when I was in HS, well I am a normal teenage kid who happen to be daring and risky. I had a relationship w/ a girl, w/c at first was for fun and eventually became attached to her. I changed a lot being in that relationship, spirituality weaken, lowered my consciousness, emotions suppressed, perspective altered, low vibes, etc etc. But I let this all changes flow because I know this won't be forever I will only be like that until we broke up, I am not conscious about it that time, I have just programmed it that way, and I accepted the changed but im not letting it IN.

When I got into college with my bestfriend, a lot of issues arise because im in a diff place of my life that time. I AM STILL THE SAME, but because Im in a diff place she can't see ME that time and I cant assert myself because im still in a relationship. She said ive changed and she doesn't know me anymore and she can't read me anymore. She left because Im acting so crazy and Im not even opening up to her, and I understand why she decided to leave me.

However, the problem now is that I feel like locked in that persona I created. When she left me, I feel like ****. I became conscious at a wrong time. I don't know whats happening. Oh i don't know i just wish someone could help me with this... anyway, thanks in advance, i hope you get my message

btw, the change im talking about is I became kind of lesbo, close to being a butch but not totally.

Beuford · 12-01-2009, 11:45 AM

If you want to be lesbian that's fine. If you don't want to then choose something else to be. If you are, then network with other people with similar interests and grow your relationships in the way that you desire.

Mynder · 12-01-2009, 11:44 PM

Does it really matter that much whether it is a boy or a girl you love? Does it make either of you a worse person or unworthy of love?

Plays With Life · 12-02-2009, 01:22 AM

Hi, Penelopi. Cool name. I knew a Penelope in Mexico.

Maybe try something like EmoTrance or EFT to help the feelings move through and on out?

Nice to meet you.

12-01-2009, 06:50 AM	#1 (permalink)
Penelopi Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 170	Hi Ms. Erin, can I ask for help. :) Hi! Oky, I feel kinda shy asking but I feel like I should try, I read your posts and i hope you can also help me with this, thankyou English is not my first lang so sorry for wrong grammar. Anyway, I feel like im having split personality, ego death... It started when I was in HS, well I am a normal teenage kid who happen to be daring and risky. I had a relationship w/ a girl, w/c at first was for fun and eventually became attached to her. I changed a lot being in that relationship, spirituality weaken, lowered my consciousness, emotions suppressed, perspective altered, low vibes, etc etc. But I let this all changes flow because I know this won't be forever I will only be like that until we broke up, I am not conscious about it that time, I have just programmed it that way, and I accepted the changed but im not letting it IN. When I got into college with my bestfriend, a lot of issues arise because im in a diff place of my life that time. I AM STILL THE SAME, but because Im in a diff place she can't see ME that time and I cant assert myself because im still in a relationship. She said ive changed and she doesn't know me anymore and she can't read me anymore. She left because Im acting so crazy and Im not even opening up to her, and I understand why she decided to leave me. However, the problem now is that I feel like locked in that persona I created. When she left me, I feel like ***. I became conscious at a wrong time. I don't know whats happening. Oh i don't know i just wish someone could help me with this... anyway, thanks in advance, i hope you get my message btw, the change im talking about is I became kind of lesbo, close to being a butch but not totally. Last edited by Penelopi; 12-01-2009 at 06:53 AM.*

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12-01-2009, 11:45 AM	#2 (permalink)
Beuford Family Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 1,041	If you want to be lesbian that's fine. If you don't want to then choose something else to be. If you are, then network with other people with similar interests and grow your relationships in the way that you desire.

12-01-2009, 11:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
Mynder Family Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Northern Germany Posts: 2,659	Does it really matter that much whether it is a boy or a girl you love? Does it make either of you a worse person or unworthy of love?

12-02-2009, 01:22 AM	#4 (permalink)
Plays With Life Family Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Sitting by the fire at the Inn of the Last Home Posts: 5,799	Hi, Penelopi. Cool name. I knew a Penelope in Mexico. Maybe try something like EmoTrance or EFT to help the feelings move through and on out? Nice to meet you.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums