Twin Flames vs Need to Let Go

[laughterandlove]

Hi! I'm new to the world of communicating with the dead. But my experiences so far have been drastically life-changing.

The person who is communicating with me is someone who died nearly twelve years ago. He was very important to me before he died, and it was only a year and a half ago that I was able to think of him at all. I was traumatized when he died. It was as though part of me died, too.

I mourned him for over a year, then he started to find ways to communicate with me directly. He really wants to be a part of my life, it seems.

I recently saw a hypnotherapist who released what he called an "attachment" with my deceased mother. But he said I could keep my male friend, since he was teaching me unconditional love and how to love myself.

The hypnotist thinks I ultimately need to let my male friend go so he can reincarnate.

I have also had readings with a very good medium who thinks having a continuing relationship with my dead friend is just fine. She says that we are twin flames and he will not reincarnate without me regardless.

I know what I think, and I know what my dead friend thinks.

Anyone care to share their opinions about how this might work out?

Interested to hear your opinions.

Best,

Laughter

[Mynder]

Don't think. Look inside, completely honestly. There you already KNOW.

[run_fly]

Twin flame - wow! those relationships are very strong. I know two twin flame couples. and one in particular are very much in love and have a deep strong bond.

Be careful not to forget about human relationships and stay grounded.

Chris

[laughterandlove]

Mynder and run_fly--

You are right. I *know* this relationship deeply, but it has never fallen into any category I could name. It is completely unpredictable, and has never been like any other relationship. I have no map, only the need to follow. I have to close the eyes of my mind and trust that the heart knows the way.

I have never been perfect in love. I've made so many mistakes, and been so crushed in my life. I am only a broken cup. It's strange, but this relationship as intense as it is, is making me more open to love myself and others in my life; there is only so much love I can hold, and then it brims over and seems to start to spill out to others around me.

Thank you both for your kind thoughts and encouragement.

Best,

Laughter

[Mynder]

I am only a broken cup

No, you're not. You're a beautifully crafted cup (made by your own soul), painted and filled with all the experiences and learning of your lifetime(s).

Think better of yourself! The first and most important person that needs your unconditional love...is you.

[laughterandlove]

Mynder--

Thanks for your encouragement. Don't worry. Love can fill a broken cup, and it can find its way back out again even more readily.

I love myself, but I know my limitations. I make mistakes, and I hurt this person very deeply before he died. But I did the best I could under the circumstances.

The miracle is that he still loves me as he does. It's amazing.

Best,

Pam

[Mynder]

So why can't you also forgive yourself? Accept that you are who you are, own your mistakes, learn from them - but don't become slave to their memory.

Once you realize that something was a mistake under the circumstances, learn from it. Try to think up ways you could have done better. Decide to do better (compared to your very own standards) the next time.

And then let go. Reliving your mistakes only keeps you back, and once you have learned what there is to learn, they do not serve you anymore. Let go. He forgave you. Do the same.

[laughterandlove]

Hi, Mynder

I would say that I have forgiven myself; and, in reference to my metaphor, that it is more important what is in the cup than what condition the cup is in.

Unconditional love means loving despite condition, not because of it. What would be remarkable about loving a perfect Faberge egg? Not much. That's conditional love.

Does that make more sense?

Best,

Laughter

[Mynder]

Yes, it does.

But why would you choose to look at yourself as damaged? What do you get out of this belief/visualization?

I'm a very imperfect person...with lots of faults, and I'll be the first to admit that to anyone other than a potential employer (just kidding), but in a way I am exactly the way I am supposed to be right here right now, and perfect and complete in that line of thinking.

Maybe the "trick" is to see the cracks as part of the beautiful painting on the cup?

Anyway, love can be overwhelming, especially if we feel we don't deserve it and get showered with it regardless. Once we realize, though, the positive things we have done for somebody, and accept that yes, we DO "deserve" this (freely given) love, we DO deserve to be happy and not be caught up in old beliefs and handicaps...that is when we open up, thrive, and radiate our light onto those around us.

Good luck on your way. Enjoy the ride!

[laughterandlove]

Hi, Mynder

I'm assuming your question was not rhetorical. Smile. I am still learning about unconditional love, so I know you will bear with me as I attempt to put my experiences into language. Actually, I am thankful that you are willing to ask me these questions, because saying these things in words is helpful to me. I appreciate your kindness.

What do I get out of describing myself as damaged? Perhaps you might call it grounding. If I believe that I am showered with love, drenched in love because I am worthy of it, I will soon and someday very soon find that I am not as worthy as I thought I was. Then what about all that love I have been enjoying? Since one day I find I am actually not perfect and don't deserve it, does it go away?

But what if I am loved not because I am so perfect, but despite my imperfections? I once wrote a poem to my love with a line: "I love you more than your mask." Beyond the trying, the reaching, the persona. Despite the flaws, with the flaws.

If I am loved with this sort of love, I am truly free. Not the be a wicked person, but to be fully human, fully vulnerable. Not a superman. Just me as I am. I make mistakes, and I have been born with some quirks. But I am loved.

Love of this sort is more than a commercial exchange of coin for value. This love must be recognized as having a spirit, a power, a life of its own, beyond its short temporal effect on two human beings. I have found this love can exist beyond time, beyond space, beyond death.

I think what we all want to know is that we are loved.

Best,

Laughter

[Mynder]

I guess all I wanted to say is that you have to find this kind of love for yourself...in yourself, before you can truly appreciate (and return) it when it comes from somebody else.

It's a journey, and one that I'm still very much involved with.

[laughterandlove]

Hi, Mynder

This love has been unleashed on me like a warm summer downpour, a torrent.

I have not been fortunate enough to have experienced unconditional love for myself springing spontaneously out of my own being. In my case, I did not have a mother who loved me unconditionally, so I have few experiences from my early life from which to draw a sense of unconditional love.

How does someone like me learn to respond to unconditional love? Where do I start? It seems like the old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg? I am experiencing this love as coming very much from outside myself. Perhaps it is a part of the twin flame experience; although he is outside of me, he is me and I am him. He is dead, so he is on the other side where unconditional love is the norm. Yet he is still bonded to me, so he can show me how to love myself unconditionally.

If I want to experience unconditional love, I will have to start somewhere. I do not object to having it thrust upon me unexpectedly. It is puzzling, but I'm not complaining. It won't go to waste. I'm sure I will find some way to put it to use. Smile.

Thank you for the encouragement! And best to you on your journey as well.

Best,

Laughter

[Mynder]

Louise Hay's "mirror work" has been enlightening. It only truly "clicked" for me when I watched her video "You can heal your life" over and over for a few days, and always found new meaning in one sentence or other that she said.

So if you haven't seen it and haven't read the book (which I don't possess), I suppose both can be helpful in this respect.

You appear to be very lucky to experience what you do. Many others have to pull themselves out on their own, and generally that requires getting into a somewhat bad place that is felt to be unbearable over the long term, so that action becomes a necessity.

As for the happy, loving childhood...I've had both, good times and bad times, and the good times were the ones that taught me things don't have to be the way they were later on and allowed me to create something different for my own children.

We all have the pootential to work miracles. We just have to see them and acknowledge our hand in making them happen to realize our own worth...and I only am the true judge of my own worth. Hence convincing myself of this was the hard part. There are good days and not so good days, but I'm getting there, bit by bit.

It is a very empowering and liberating experience, and I hope you find it to be just that as well.

[ssandra]

Originally Posted by laughterandlove

How does someone like me learn to respond to unconditional love? Where do I start? It seems like the old question: which came first, the chicken or the egg? I am experiencing this love as coming very much from outside myself.

This is a very good article on how you can learn to love yourself:

BLOG.FEELGOODONPURPOSE.COM: How Do I Love Me?

[laughterandlove]

Thanks for the thoughts on learning to love myself. I appreciate your time and thought in addressing my situation. I don't relate to these suggestions completely, because I am currently having a very intense experience while *not* having learned to love myself unconditionally.

So far the best advice I have seen for my situation is from the mystic Rumi; this is a paraphrase: "When you want to allow yourself to be loved, take down the barricades."

So far, that's the plan that is working best for me.

Best,

Laughter