How To Choose a Career That Will Make You Happy (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

How To Choose a Career That Will Make You Happy

[Hyperchiller]

Zing!

Very relevant post Erin.

Danke.

[Elfwing]

I'm very relieved to see this post.

My problem is that something that I really enjoy - travelling - is something that costs quite a bit. I went to the US in January, and I miss being a tourist so much. I like to write fiction, but I don't see travel writing as something I'd like to do.

Any ideas, anyone? Nothing else got me quite as happy as being a wanderer. Aside from that, and writing (which I have a love-hate relationship with), nothing really makes me that happy. (You can bet on your life I know what will make me unhappy, though.)

That said - thank you for this article. The criteria in particular were really helpful.

[rjakobsson]

@Elfwing
Hi dear,
It's fully possible and sometimes good to travel without any money at all. I've hitchhiked a lot in my life, and will continue to do so.
When you are hitchhiking and wandering around without a specific goal (and without any money) I promise you that you'll be able to write an awesome book, and also gain very insightful wisdom.

[rjakobsson]

When reading this blog post, I got a direct need to book a reading . Your timing is as always, perfect.
Cheers!

[Warping]

Timely post Erin, thanks for that.

Elfwing, I love travel and fiction writing too. I think you can find a way to travel and write fiction, no need to resort to travel writing if you don't enjoy that. For example, Grant Morrison is a writer who travels a lot and puts his experiences into his stories, and he recommends traveling as cheap as possible, look around on the net for cheap travel, there are a lot of options.

Cheers

[Elfwing]

If only I wasn't broke...

Rjakobsson - I appreciate it, but I don't feel safe hitchhiking. At the same time, it sounds tempting.

Warping - thank you!

[Erin Pavlina]

Elfwing, that's just the tree in the road you're seeing.

Can you imagine a situation where a publisher pays your travel expenses for you to write your next best seller?

Or, write a fiction book first, make loads of money, and then travel.

Or hook up with a hotel in a particular city and tell them you'll mention them favorably in a book (free advertising) and ask if you can get a room there for free.

Just some creative ideas I'm throwing out there. Don't stare at the tree. Be looking for a chainsaw.

[AuspiciousEight]

The irony.

The example you used in your post describes me almost perfectly. A software engineer who really wanted to be a therapist/psychologist. I didn't do it because of financial reasons. Becoming a therapist also requires a lot of education, I'm told.

Another reminder that I'm on the wrong path...

[smileytrysh]

Thanks for sharing that Erin. I found your advice to be very helpful and practical, and you've given me alot to think about!

[Erin Pavlina]

Auspicious Eight, therapy is an expression of an innate desire to help others, counsel them, relieve their emotional suffering, etc. You don't have to manifest that as a psychologist with a PhD. You can choose another profession that also allows you to counsel, relieve suffering, etc that doesn't require education, only an open heart and a willingness to listen and offer help.

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Auspicious Eight, therapy is an expression of an innate desire to help others, counsel them, relieve their emotional suffering, etc. You don't have to manifest that as a psychologist with a PhD. You can choose another profession that also allows you to counsel, relieve suffering, etc that doesn't require education, only an open heart and a willingness to listen and offer help.

Yea. You're right.

I've tried to think of other ways to do this, while at the same time supporting my family, but the only thing I could think of was working for a church as some kind of teacher/preacher. But I'm not a big fan of religion. In my experience, most churches seem more interested in promoting division and separation than any kind of real unity.

So for the moment, I've been trying to brainstorm other ways of getting into a profession that is more aligned with my real interests and desires. But I always run into the financial block.

I have to support my family.

[Erin Pavlina]

It doesn't always have to be some established profession with a fancy name. you want to help people, help them. Learn the best ways to help others. Then find a modality, or a medium, to express it. Maybe a speaker, a writer, coach, blogger, teacher, basketball coach, youth leadership trainer, hospice worker. Brainstorm ideas until your mind bleeds.

[Sentient]

Originally Posted by AuspiciousEight

Yea. You're right.

I've tried to think of other ways to do this, while at the same time supporting my family, but the only thing I could think of was working for a church as some kind of teacher/preacher. But I'm not a big fan of religion. In my experience, most churches seem more interested in promoting division and separation than any kind of real unity.

So for the moment, I've been trying to brainstorm other ways of getting into a profession that is more aligned with my real interests and desires. But I always run into the financial block.

I have to support my family.

Auspicious, can I throw in the suggestion of Life Coach? Not sure how much you know about it, but my gf has been taking online classes for it. At first I thought, "online classes, really?" I thought they'd be sort of a joke. Nope, they're filled with doctors, therapists, and tons of highly educated people who are looking to make a career shift. They also draw a truly global crowd. Now I feel silly for my previous prejudice.

She is becoming amazing at what she does, to the point that I am going to follow in her footsteps at some point. The program is only 2 years, and can be finished as fast as 6 months if you're going full steam ahead. You also start coaching before you've officially graduated. In fact, you coach as soon as you feel comfotable doing so.

It's just absolutely incredible to watch her walk out of our home office (sessions done over phone or skype) everytime she's had a session and I swear the glow just RADIATES off of her. I've never seen her happier. Everyone she coaches keeps telling her about all their breakthrough moments. Her clients are all making terrific progress.

Coaching is also more future oriented and while the past is relevant sometimes to helping you figure out how to take action and change in the present, it is not about rehashing old wounds. I always wanted to be a therapist, but was totally scared by all the stories I heard regarding people who just slowly picked up a skewed negative worldview.

Anywho, I thought I'd share my personal experience. I know that a few years ago I bristled when people suggested I become a coach myself. Now seeing it up close I realize how wonderful it can be. The money certainly isn't bad either. People set their own rates, but $100/hr is what most people charge once they've gotten over the mental hurdle of accepting money for what they do (a common barrier for those who like to give of themselves).

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

It doesn't always have to be some established profession with a fancy name. you want to help people, help them. Learn the best ways to help others. Then find a modality, or a medium, to express it. Maybe a speaker, a writer, coach, blogger, teacher, basketball coach, youth leadership trainer, hospice worker. Brainstorm ideas until your mind bleeds.

Hmmm...

Okay. I'll do some more brainstorming and see what I come up with. But I think it would be rather difficult to find any kind of normal profession for me.

You see, I absolutely love exploring life, consciousness, and reality. I am a spiritual student. I enjoy helping others not because of the activity itself, but because it's just an artifact of who I am. I suppose it's just me expressing myself.

But if I get into this line of work, of helping others, I don't think I would be able to charge for it. Charging money to show people how to be happy and at peace within themselves...It just feels off somehow. It's like you're selling Source to someone, you're selling them what they already have and just don't know it yet. How can I charge someone money to show them what they already have?

I'm okay with selling my programming ability and time to someone. But selling someone the ability to have a better life experience...is something I am forever unwilling to do.

Sentient: I've met a few life coaches in my day. That would actually be a pretty good idea. I've forgotten about that profession. I'll look into it some more.

But, of course, I have the money issue, which I need to get over I suppose. I'll think about this some more.

Perhaps I've just placed myself into an impossible situation.

[derekmartin]

This is the first time I ever read your blog, and it was super relevant.
Why?
I went to university for psychology, so I could help people.
But along the way I decided it'd be easier for me to make a living in computers.
I didn't really *like* programming, but I was good at it.
I've been a professional web developer for 10 years now, and have grown to enjoy it (luckily).

BUT like you & Steve, I'm not happy with just getting by. I want to live a fulfilling life. And like you, I have always enjoyed learning about & studying the paranormal & spirituality. That's in my blood.

So, I recently began building my own paranormal website.
It's not that I dislike programming, it's that I dislike programming what other people tell me to program. Another forum. Another shopping cart. Another contact form... and the list goes on.
But now I'll be building for myself, and at the end of the day, when I go Googling for para-news, it will be "research" and "business development".
I can't wait for the future

[Erin Pavlina]

Originally Posted by AuspiciousEight

But if I get into this line of work, of helping others, I don't think I would be able to charge for it. Charging money to show people how to be happy and at peace within themselves...It just feels off somehow. It's like you're selling Source to someone, you're selling them what they already have and just don't know it yet. How can I charge someone money to show them what they already have?

Oh you're going to be sorry you just wrote that

Read this:
Why do you charge for readings?
and
Lightworker Syndrome

These are the chainsaws that are going to cut through your tree.

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Oh you're going to be sorry you just wrote that

Read this:
Why do you charge for readings?
and
Lightworker Syndrome

These are the chainsaws that are going to cut through your tree.

Thank you Erin, for your kindness and support. I'm sure you're probably used to hearing that a lot.

As I read through the articles, I noticed I was resisting them. On some level, I think I may be afraid of what would happen if I did succeed in living my purpose while making a decent income. This, I think, is my real problem. Perhaps it is time for me to suck it up and pull out my chainsaw to tackle these issues. *deep breath* Should be fun.

*virtual hug*

Much love to you Erin.

[Erin Pavlina]

Originally Posted by derekmartin

This is the first time I ever read your blog, and it was super relevant.
Why?
I went to university for psychology, so I could help people.
But along the way I decided it'd be easier for me to make a living in computers.
I didn't really *like* programming, but I was good at it.
I've been a professional web developer for 10 years now, and have grown to enjoy it (luckily).

BUT like you & Steve, I'm not happy with just getting by. I want to live a fulfilling life. And like you, I have always enjoyed learning about & studying the paranormal & spirituality. That's in my blood.

So, I recently began building my own paranormal website.
It's not that I dislike programming, it's that I dislike programming what other people tell me to program. Another forum. Another shopping cart. Another contact form... and the list goes on.
But now I'll be building for myself, and at the end of the day, when I go Googling for para-news, it will be "research" and "business development".
I can't wait for the future

Yes exactly! We actually have similar stories. I majored in Psychology in college becasue I wanted to help others. Then I left that and became a web developer/programmer for years! Then I started a spirituality/paranormal blog and became a professional intuitive. Building sites for yourself, in your area of passion, is awesome!

[MasterD]

Originally Posted by AuspiciousEight

But if I get into this line of work, of helping others, I don't think I would be able to charge for it. Charging money to show people how to be happy and at peace within themselves...It just feels off somehow. It's like you're selling Source to someone, you're selling them what they already have and just don't know it yet. How can I charge someone money to show them what they already have?

People are stuck as hell. Also, people have evolutionary developed needs of the body. If you don't take care of those needs, spiritual heights are inaccessable. One of the challenge in life is to set up a structural support system that takes care of the evolutionary needs of the body (e.g. an exercise routine, diet routine, regular social contact with people they align with, good sleep, stress control, etc...). If that is taken care of real spiritual heights can be achieved and they can start to design a life that really works for them. How on earth can't you charge money for people getting there? What is money worth anyway?

[pianoperformer]

I know what I enjoy doing (programming), but not what I'm doing it for, which is where I'm stuck right now.

I can identify with not enjoying being told what to program. CRUD is aptly named, IMO.

[Sentient]

Auspicious, it sounds like you've grown 5 years in one day

You should speak to some established coaches (or any other professionals like this). You have no idea how common the issue about charging is. I've listened in to several of the coaching class calls and just person after person talks about anxiety over charging. It seems like it's actually the majority. Most have been coaching (in one form or another) their whole lives, for friends and family too. So how are they suppoesd to start taking money for just being them?

It slowly goes away as you realize how effusively grateful everyone is for what you do for them. After a while you realize that you're giving massive value and it only makes sense to accept it in return.

For another angle, my girlfriend actually also got certified in Reiki recently (I know she's awesome, isn't she?). She was instructed by her Reiki master (instructor) that she HAS to take value for her work. The instructor said that when she originally began doing energy work she would give it away for free. However, the work wasn't sticking the way it should. There was a karmic imbalance beacuse the value was only flowing one way, so the healing never got fully accepted. As soon as she began charging what she felt comfortable with her clients got better outcomes. I don't know if your personal beliefs will incorporate thinking like this, but it's another perspective for you to try on.

It is probably even from the lightworker articles (i haven't read them in a while) but one of my favorite thoughts is to remember how much more good I do in the world when I'm strong. The stronger I am, the more use I am to those around me.

I sincerely wish you the best!

[Strem2]

Erin, and all,
I don't know how I found this today, of all days.

I've written the book, and loved doing it, but didn't sell it yet. (I've wanted to write since I was 13. Now, I'm 4 years from retirement....) I've started the web site, and love it, but it's a year old and not really making money. Google said it would make a lot of money.... I guess that's "someday..."

I turned my attention to money, and that's .... working just now... today... I am deciding that it is working today.... I will not look again at any bank account that does not have money in it. ...

This is my only idea. If you have any other ideas, I am open.

Thanks for being here.

[AuspiciousEight]

Originally Posted by Sentient

I sincerely wish you the best!

Thanks Sentient.

I think I still have a ways to go before I fully make the switch. While I'm used to listening, loving, and helping others, doing this as a profession would definitely take some getting used to.

But I understand that I would be better off in this line of work. Not only would I be able to contribute significantly more value to society, but I would also definitely enjoy the work more.

Thank you for your kindness and support.

[jpletting]

Sentient, what's the online program your girlfriend is taking? I'd love to check it out. You can PM me if you'd rather but I think other people might love to hear about it, too.

[Domokun]

LOL, It's funny to me you mentioned programming as a draining career to get out of. Right now, I'm dreaming of successfully moving into a programming career! I've been busting my butt pouring though programming resources like a mad man as well. I've got my fingers crossed, because it's one of the few career fields that have truly interested me for a long time. I think you and Steve are right, though, about self-employment. I'm sure reporting to tech firm would be particularly stressful and brutal.

"It's surprising how hard we'll work when the work is done just for ourselves." -Bill Watterson

[Sentient]

Originally Posted by jpletting

Sentient, what's the online program your girlfriend is taking? I'd love to check it out. You can PM me if you'd rather but I think other people might love to hear about it, too.

She's a member of ICA (International Coach Academy). She has very intelligent people on her calls with her. Most people are coming to coaching as a 2nd career..maybe the average age is around 50? You get people of all backgrounds though. It's definitely a very diverse group.

She just walked through the room actually and said she'd be willing to speak to you about it if you're interested. You can PM me and I'll put you in touch if you'd like. She's about 75% done at this point so should be able to give you some great ideas of where to go hunting for info. I know she did a lot of research when she was struggling to pick the right school. They give referral codes to current students too so if you opt to go ICA she can get you a 10% discount. Although don't worry you won't get a sales pitch

[lifetimelearner]

great post Erin !


but
what if you cannot remember anything you liked as a kid because you were too busy pleasing people ?

[Erin Pavlina]

Doesn't have to be what you liked as a kid. Could be what you're passionate about now.

I just think that often as kids we discover our passion and don't see how to earn a living at it, or it's not taught in school or college, so we gravitate towards something that is an established or known profession.

But hey, if you liked pleasing others, there are plenty of professions where you get to do just that:
Concierge
Prostitute
Customer Service
Technical Support
Wedding planner
Hospice worker
Etc.

[Elfwing]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Elfwing, that's just the tree in the road you're seeing.

Can you imagine a situation where a publisher pays your travel expenses for you to write your next best seller?

Or, write a fiction book first, make loads of money, and then travel.

Or hook up with a hotel in a particular city and tell them you'll mention them favorably in a book (free advertising) and ask if you can get a room there for free.

Just some creative ideas I'm throwing out there. Don't stare at the tree. Be looking for a chainsaw.

While I really, really appreciate the ideas, it just wouldn't work. For one thing, publishers have no reason to pay travel expenses of their authors. For another, I know of a writer who has a dozen or so published novels and can sometimes barely live off her work. But I thank you, nonetheless.

My trees are awfully big. But I will find a way. I hope.

I'd love to just be a nomad, wandering through towns and life as I please, just seeing things, not settling down anywhere. But I need to earn money somehow, and in a way that would support this. I imagine it would be more expensive than settling down would be. Novels earn very, very little. But I'm the kind of person who - well, not only could I not bring myself to "just get a job", even if I could, I would screw the entire thing up as well.

I don't even go to school anymore, I'm just a teenager, I've never had a job. I tried going to school part time, but I couldn't handle it, it felt so soulless - I can't even homeschool - and now I'm living off my parents who think it's just happening because I'm mentally ill, because I can't pick myself up enough to move on and do something, and until I stop being so pathetic and get up and do something, I'm going to be paying the consequences.

I'm better than I was when I left in February. I'm getting better, so slowly, but it's just not enough. I often beat myself up for not being disciplined enough or taking full responsibility. And I know it's all down to me, but I still descend into whine-mode too often.

... I'm not quite sure why I went on like that, but thank you for bearing with me.