Pinpricks of Light / I need help.

[chrisfeger]

Hi guys, I'm new to the forum. My name is Chris, I'm from Michigan. I currently attend College but I'm undecided about my major.

I hope I can get some help here...

I'm very lonely. I leave my better classes (more fun people) feeling like I've walked into no-man's land, where I'm the only person on the planet. I've read a few articles from Erin's blog tonight about getting help and counting blessings and doing chakra work. And then I find I'm sobbing. I'm not depressed - I know the difference. I'm just really lonely.

I had a reading with Erin before and she said I should do "energetic work on my chest area". In other words clean out my heart chakra. I probably haven't worked enough on this. I've tried it several times, but I think I might have missed the point because I didn't feel much happening - it felt like nothing was happening and I was not progressing with Erin's chakra cleaning exercise.

I FEEL love for my family (I live with my parents and my older brother, and I have two great sisters who have already moved out) and for two really awesome long distant friends I have, whom I both met online.

I focus a lot of time outside of my full-time school load on my future career. Really, I'm deciding on what path I should take. I've had some dead ends in the past (computer networking professional). I'm at a major fork in the road of life. But now, I feel different. Now, after reading some articles on Erin Pavlina's blog, I feel a different sort of energy take me. I suddenly feel connected to my heart (I think?) and now I figure it is equally in my best interest to focus time on making good friends (soulful relationships).

For whatever reason, I don't like the concept of my roman-catholic upbringing. I never have been a fan of the idea of not questioning life's mysteries, and not being open to alternative explanations. However, it seems like when I am open to opening myself up to strangers, or other students, I have the bizarre tendancy to meet people who work very close to church-derived settings (youth pastor, for example). I've been to a friend's sermon, who was trying to become a youth pastor...once. I liked how open I felt with people - and I did feel a spirit of love there. I just don't like how all of it is overshadowed by the 100% faith, no questions asked scenario. So I stopped getting in touch with that friend.

I'm aware of a very limiting belief I have (and have had for a long time) that I think people would rather be left alone, than talk with me. This has spawned my current fear of rejection (pretty common though, isn't it?) Not acceptable by my standards tho...

Its late here, and I want to get some rest. What do you guys/ladies think?

(thanks for reading!)

[lacinato]

You're looking for ways to make deep connections? Hmmm, well, I'd start by making any connections, figuring it's a numbers game--the more people you meet, the more likely you'll meet someone you really connect with. Maybe look for alternative spiritual communities--yoga, Sufi, tai chi, qi gong, philopsophy classes or groups, even activist communities (some activists are quite atheistic, but it's generally a group that is more aware). Is that the kind of response you're looking for?

Good luck.

[Samuel Poon]

Hehe I'm not sure what the question was but I just wanted to reply :]

I'm young myself so I'm not that wise yet =P but here is my take!

You're still pretty young so you don't need to worry so much and just try to enjoy your life in college. A lot of people go to college and major in a specific thing only to come out of college doing something totally different. College for me, was just an experience in life. But I actually did end up doing something similar, at least for right now, to what my major was. (Computer Engineering). There is a lot of experience that can occur in college than just learning about your "future" career. So go out and do stuff, meet people, instead of just staying at home studying...

You're still at a point in your life where you are still learning and understanding so don't worry if you fail, you're still young and you got a lot of time ahead of you. Try different things and see how it works out.

If you feel like you're missing something in your life than go get it. Don't think and worry about it, go do something about it. A lot of the time people are afraid to do something because they're scared about what other people think. Well if you're scared about what other people think, you need to do something about that

Religion is just a way of life, some people enjoy it some people don't. I personally don't really have a religion but sometimes it helps people who need some kind of guide or goal in their life. You're to young! =P You don't need it yet!

Just keep searcing for answers and I'm sure you'll find one you'll like. Just don't give up.

[chrisfeger]

Thanks for the advice guys. Its encouraging to hear, and I appreciate that you've extended your support to me.

Samuel, I really like your advice. Its a good reminder for me to take it easy, but also have the courage to "go do something about" what's eating me. Too often do I dwell on getting my plan "perfect" before taking any action. Its really bad and doesn't amount to anything in real world terms (and certainly the guy in the glass doesn't like it either).

Lacinato, its a good idea I open myself up to a number of people. And yes, by the numbers is a good way to remind myself of how I am progressing. I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for, just general advice perhaps, but you've made me realize once again that I have a deep desire to become good friends with many people.

By the way, I just want to clear this up if my story read the wrong way, as it occurred to me after reading Lacinato's post. I'm not an atheist. For anyone who might think I am - just want to clear this up.

Also, I guess I am looking to know if anyone tried Erin's Chakra spinning exercise, and, if so, tell me what did you think about it? Did it help you out in some way?

[erego]

Yeah I do Erin's spinning chakra exercise. Two times I felt something:

1, when I was sick with fever, though was just about to be feverish, had paracetemol, drank lots of water, wore warm clothes, midway through exercise, was much comfortable, fell asleep for a minute or so, woke up and finished it; immediately felt my body sweating. Imagined energies got aligned and flowed through my body. Rationality decides to put it half half on the combination of factors.

2, was really frustrated with something, felt sort of defeated. Talked with my girlfriend and mom over the phone about it, did the exercise. After I did the third chakra, the stomach power one, I felt, a bit vaguely, something shift in me. Felt better after, like normal, more in control. Again, there was other factor.

I remember the first time I tried the exercise. Was really, really difficult clearing the red, first chakra; less difficult with the second; lesser with third. Took me half a day or so on and off doing the first.

Also, I found my life purpose and (days after,) at the moment I decided that yes, I'm going to live this, felt as if there was a thick beam of light go through the top of my head straight down to my sternum. Remembered and googled the crown chakra thing, and from there tried the meditation.

[lacinato]

Right, I mean that more as a caveat--it's not quite what you're looking for (connections with spiritually aware people), but if you're working to help out on an issue, it's good karma and you will meet interesting people along the way. And some people do act directly out of a faith-based system--one friend is involved with Bread for the World, for example. They see hunger as being a problem of social injustice (there is food, but the poor can't buy it so they starve), so they work to gather political energy from church congregations.

[SimonaRich]

Animals can bring out unconditional love in you, because they unconditionally love everyone. So getting a pet would be really good if you cannot understand how to love.

If you are reading Erin, you maybe have read that you can ask your angels to bring more love into your life. You can also ask for them to bring more like-minded people into your life.

You started feeling differently after reading Erin's articles because you became more conscious of what this life is about. Religions do not teach everything and they usually instill fear in people - the fear of God, which is absolute nonsense.

If you think that God is external, of course you will feel lonely and disempowered. But when you come to know that we are all divine and that we can have any experience we want to have - just the matter of how allowing you are - then you stop fearing and start enjoying life.