How To Find the Light When You?re Drowning in the Dark (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

How To Find the Light When You're Drowning in the Dark

[jpletting]

When I was still having trouble consistently keeping a positive mental attitude, I bought a notebook in my favorite color (orange) and started keeping Things That Made Me Smile Today lists. It didn't have to be anything big, just literally anything that caused a smile to pass across my face, however briefly. Here are just a couple:

12/18/07
-Mary bought me a blue fleece for Christmas
-"dork&beans"
-"++Froot"

12/19/07
-took a trip to the airport
-BEBBEHBUNNAH!! little bunny tongue!*
-rain!
-cozy house to come home to
-listened to Sigur Ros

12/22/07
-kolaches for breakfast!
-no accident with parking lot guy
-nice weather clear and crisp
-early paycheck!

1/5/08
-wind pants FTW
-eating pomegranates
-Kenn's butt-waggling to Ryan Adams

1/17/08
-$618 in my FFA
-daydreams
-received first dividends interest tax form from investments, never earned enough before!

I stopped somewhere along the way, but what is beautiful about it is that I can still go back and read these things, and I get another smile out of it! Maybe more! I don't always remember to what the notes or doodles (there are also lots of doodles, of course :P) are referring, but the way I wrote them is usually still amusing.

For someone struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts or tragedy in their immediate circumstances, I don't know how powerful an exercise like this might be, maybe it would take a little more, but I actually found it to be a kind and soothing thing to do for myself, like a spiritual and emotional bubble bath.

*CuteOverload will put a smile on my face anytime.

[Dan.Linehan]

^ Seeing Sigur Ros Friday night.

[coLLege kid07]

Great article. It was a good pick me up for the current situation I'm going through. I'm sure this advice will help 100's of 1,000's of more people going through the same thing. Great job

[Anna Conlan]

I am going to a business building workshop this weekend and one of the pre-workshop exercises involves asking 10 people who know you well to pinpoint what your strengths/talents/defining characteristics are. So my friends/family have been sending me a list of stuff they appreciate about me. The things people said were touching and beautiful. I cried reading the one from my mum (I never knew how much she loved me!). Now, I can't resist telling people the wonderful things about them. It's contagious!

I'm definitely going to put it together and use it as an emergency 'spirit- lifter'. Don't know if it would be enough to show me the light if I was drowning in the dark, but it would be a start?

So I guess another idea would be to make a secret (if you want to be modest ) list of what you love about yourself. Remind yourself of the value and beauty in you, that no-one can take away. If you can't see it, ask someone who loves you what they like about you! Collect compliments and remember the times you felt great about something and yourself.

[DiscoDan]

Erin,

Whenever I am stressed, or whenever I am in need of guidance, I always remind myself to take a look at your website. Why? Because I know without a doubt what I will find there: a superbly written, utterly beautiful post that inevitably brings tears to my eyes.

This post was no different. Thanks for being a radiant star amidst the night sky.

[jpletting]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

^ Seeing Sigur Ros Friday night.

Lucky! So jelly!

[Mew3692002]

I agree, although I think it is best to have a positive goal that gives you hope for the future, that really helped me out of my darkness. Although, I really don't use the forums on this site when I'm trying to raise my vibration, it just seems to lower my vibration for some reason. Although I do read Erin's blog and that does seem to help to raise my vibration sometimes.

[Erin Pavlina]

Originally Posted by DiscoDan

Erin,

Whenever I am stressed, or whenever I am in need of guidance, I always remind myself to take a look at your website. Why? Because I know without a doubt what I will find there: a superbly written, utterly beautiful post that inevitably brings tears to my eyes.

This post was no different. Thanks for being a radiant star amidst the night sky.

Aww, you're sweet to say that. thanks for sending some love back through the conduit

[Permafrost]

I've been in that place several times in my life, with two instances of having to take anti-depressants. It was always a last resort, and when you're in a place where it's either relief or walking under a bus - the decision is a no-brainer. When your mind churns with a chronic anxiety, or fear, or tiredness or sadness they allowed me to have a necessary break - a place where I could breathe and become objective again.

This is not a paean to antidepressants however.

When I was finally strong enough to stop taking these powerful and potentially dangerous drugs I knew I could not neglect my mental health even for a minute as the dangers of relapse are too high. Proactive control over my mental well being was necessary. I tried many different things, and my recipe for success is a daily infusion of positivity. It's like a perscription to be taken daily, a chore never to be neglected. I find a number of little things that make me smile and raise my vibration, from photos of amazing scenery, to favorite sites that glow with joy for life, to reading a fantastic book, to pausing to appreciate a gorgeous sunset or animal, to keeping the occasional happy journal. Sometimes it's easy to neglect these simple things, but the effects are immediate and profound. The point is that I have to pursue a lighter state of being like my life depends on it, which it does, and to devote at least a half an hour per day to just infusing my soul with positivity.

I also have a happiness allowance, where if I'm feeling a little blue I will buy myself a treat, something that makes me happy just for existing - like great luxurious sheets, or a new cookbook. It also helps me to have good chi at home - in fact it's imperative. My house is painted with soothing warm colors, solid furniture, and warm lighting. I make a huge effort to keep it clean because my mood immediately shifts to 'stressed' if it's too cluttered or dirty. If I'm exhausted from a long week, I will occasionally hire a cleaning lady as a treat and believe me, there's nothing like coming home to a clean house on a Friday, ready to start your weekend. Overall, I've had to pay great attention to my happy and sad triggers and go out of my way to create a coccoon of good vibrations just to function in this rather disfunctional world. But to reach that place where I can do all that in the first place I've had to turn to something that would allow me the peace of mind to be able to 'be normal'. To pay attention to myself and my moods rather than just the overwhelming tiredness and sadness and hopelessness of my emotions.

Sorry for the long post, but this is an issue that I've dealt with most of my adulthood, so I've got to share what works for me.

[Aylana]

Thank you Erin. I really needed to read this today.