Do spirit guides arrange relationships? (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Do spirit guides arrange relationships?

[Angela]

Hmmm... I always thought it was pretty funny how Danger Man and I lived next door to each other for two years and never met during that time, until a mutual friend invited us to a party and he and I were the only ones who showed up! (and it wasn't a set-up, at least not a conscious one on the part of our hostess! ).

I had been doing some personal development work and had recently had some breakthroughs in the realms of relationship and attractiveness, and he had been struggling to end a messy relationship. I know for certain that if we had met even a few days earlier, there's no way things would have gone the way they did. As it was, we were both newly free, in more ways than one, and so we were like two little kids meeting and embarking on a very long playdate. And we have both agreed that this is the best, most growth-oriented, most supportive, loving and fun relationship either of us has ever been in.

Do you think our guides were involved? I'm inclined to think so.

[Erin Pavlina]

Sounds like it, yeah.

My parents didn't meet until they both moved to California, but later found out they lived just a couple of blocks away from each other in Cleveland, Ohio, and they even founds photos where both families were in the same picture! But they didn't meet until my mom's cousin introduced her to this nice Jewish boy in his bowling league. They were engaged just a few weeks later and have been happily married for decades.

[Blue Sky]

I guess my ideas are a little different. i think that spirit guides do all they can to see that the life plans we made before we incarnated are followed. The term "before we incarnated" is kind of a misnomer. There is no time over there. All of this aranging is being done now by our higher selves, the part of our spirits that still exist in the spirit world.

I think guides help us along in the form of feelings and impressions and hunches, but it is that spirit part of us that makes the situations and circumstances fall into place. And then re-writes the whole scenario when we use our free will to mess it up, or we choose to not listen to a message we have recieved from our guide.

[Mew3692002]

I've always though that way and you just reconfirmed my beliefs! Although, I don't think I'd want to get married at this stage in my life coupled with the fact that I really do not fall in love easily (I've only had a crush once in my life), I don't go for looks and I don't really go for personality either, I just basically go off of how they smell to me (what you would call intuition), just like any situation I approach. I mean, I do want to fall in love but the fact that I have difficulty in falling in love with ANYONE really makes it that much unlikely that I really will. Although I'm getting the feeling that nobody on this website could really help me in this area, it's just another thing that I really have to solve for myself.

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by From Erin's article

I have found that when I feel a strong desire to interact with someone, there is usually a reason. Something is shared, something is learned, something is passed on. So pay attention. The girl in front of you in line at the grocery store could be your future wife.

Just when most of Erin's female audience thought they were heterosexual, Erin comes along and throws a spanner in the works!

Erin Pavlina: helping women come out of the closet (whether they were aware they were in the closet or not) since 2006.

(Do you have any idea how hard it was to write this post, conveying what I actually meant to say instead of making it sound like it was full of completely unintentional--I'm serious!--innuendo?!?! The difficulty shall plague me with nightmares for years to come. It was worth it.)

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Mew3692002

I've always though that way and you just reconfirmed my beliefs! Although, I don't think I'd want to get married at this stage in my life coupled with the fact that I really do not fall in love easily (I've only had a crush once in my life), I don't go for looks and I don't really go for personality either, I just basically go off of how they smell to me (what you would call intuition), just like any situation I approach. I mean, I do want to fall in love but the fact that I have difficulty in falling in love with ANYONE really makes it that much unlikely that I really will. Although I'm getting the feeling that nobody on this website could really help me in this area, it's just another thing that I really have to solve for myself.

So if I find someone sniffing me, it just means I've lucked out in the personality and looks department. Good to know.

Although without personality and looks to work with, I sure hope you don't catch me when I'm out running!

(More serious advice: fall in love with life first. When you love life, that love will gradually spread to encompass everything within it. True story.)

[Bruce Achterberg]

Originally Posted by Blue Sky

I guess my ideas are a little different. i think that spirit guides do all they can to see that the life plans we made before we incarnated are followed. The term "before we incarnated" is kind of a misnomer. There is no time over there. All of this aranging is being done now by our higher selves, the part of our spirits that still exist in the spirit world.

I think guides help us along in the form of feelings and impressions and hunches, but it is that spirit part of us that makes the situations and circumstances fall into place. And then re-writes the whole scenario when we use our free will to mess it up, or we choose to not listen to a message we have recieved from our guide.

I'd go as far to say that there's no time here, either.

Only now--and expansion. Stuff changes, but it's always now.

Puts a whole new spin on the question, "when where you born?" doesn't it?

[Angela]

I, too, think that romantic love is at least half smell.

[Erin Pavlina]

The question was submitted by a man so when I said the girl in front of you could be your future wife it was for his benefit

[Marth]

Erin, I often get a really bad lower heartache feeling especially around people who look familiar, but are strangers. I don't understand what these social anxieties mean & how to act on them.

[Little Deb]

Ok. I truly believe that the Guides plan our love lives, etc. This is my story. I have had no luck with men all my life. No dates in High School. No smiles from handsome men at parties. An abusive fifteen year relationship with Mr. Better Than Nothing, and so forth. Well, in 2006 had picked up a copy of Dr. Joseph Murphy's "The Cosmic Power Within You" at a yardsale, and for fun I began to "believe" that I will meet a great Blues musician on my impending trip to visit my brother in Louisiana. I joked with all my co-workers that I'll meet this fictious character, and they all laughed since the collective belief was that I was a hopeless case in the annals of romance. Anyway, I brought my mandolin (and my Mom, but that's another story) hoping to meet some other musicians at the various jams in the Louisiana area. I even said a few prayers as I was desparate to make friends and not just hang with my rather boring family. And would you know it! My "soulmate" awaited, and was discovered playing on the street at Baton Rouge's Farmers Market. Our eyes met and I promptly was asked to join the group. Folks,this man has changed my life completely, and the feeling is mutual. I have never had so much inspiration from a single human being in my life. He is kind, gentlemanly, responsible, and laughs at all the songs i write for his Alternative band. (He has even aproved of the promotional cartoons I draw for band T-shirts.) Although I live in Canada, 1400 miles away, neither of us feel the physical distance that separates us, as we exchange our art, ideas and love over the Internet, phone and post. We currently both have a few obligations to sort out in our respective countries, otherwise one of us would actually move to be with the other, but we visit each other at least twice a year and hope for a better future together. Call us fools for love, but we know we'll eventually spend the rest of our lives with each, which makes the wait more bearable.

[hayden tompkins]

Usually I just sit back and read the fascinating articles and even more fascinating follow-ups, but this article really hit close to home. When I met my (now husband) so many things happened that if it were any other guy, I would have kicked him to the curb 10 times over.

Yet, in spite of everything - 2 months later I realized "man, we're getting married" and we both just knew it. 5 years later we are still ridiculously in love.

When I met him, he didn't 'believe' in marriage. He was a decade older than I (I was 22), had bad teeth (a huge turnoff for me), bald, wouldn't shut up about how great his mother was (turns out he was not a mama's boy - she is actually that awesome), had worked as a bellhop for ten years, and was only supposed to be for taking me to dinner and a movie on his dime while I went through my 'post college dating phase'.

The first three months, I literally couldn't get mad at him. (I have a temper, so I knew something was fishy.) When I found out he had a girlfriend that he failed to mention, I just couldn't bear to break it off. (It turned out that he was as bowled over by me as I was by him.)

It felt weird, even bizarre at times. It physically pained me not to be in his presence. We spent almost every waking moment together. I felt a love so fierce that it felt like my 'first love' all over again.

If you made a list for each of us of our 'perfect' person, you would get the other. Even the way we met was providential. I am so happy that I almost burst with emotion for feeling it.

And frankly, I never saw it coming.

[hayden tompkins]

Um. He's an incredible guy. I just read that over and I didn't mean to imply anything bad about him. He's phenomenal. And I'm actually very common sense when it comes to dating which is why it was so bizarre that we were like lovesick teenagers.

We're not crazytown, I swear!

[daj]

Originally Posted by Little Deb

And would you know it! My "soulmate" awaited, and was discovered playing on the street at Baton Rouge's Farmers Market.

Did you pick up a homeless guy?

[Warping]

A year ago I would've dismissed this post with a smirk.
But that's all changed, now that I've met this AMAZING girl!
A series of weird weird coincidences led to us meeting & it's just been perfect.

We're also apart right now, in two different countries, a zillion miles away, but still stronger than ever, thank God for gtalk. So for all the long distancers, keep the luuuuv alive!

Cheers.

[amixa]

aha
they can also warn you and try to stop you from potentially dating someone you *shouldn't* see!

i was drawn to a character who was actually emotionally/spiritually capable of hurting me quite badly but i kept persisting even though there were so many signs to not persist. i considered leaving my boyfriend for this guy (god that would have been a huge mistake) but it made me realize what i yearned for in mr. bad that was missing -- (now fixed as i couldn't go on without that aspect!)

so they can also warn you from leaving someone you shouldn't and now things are better then ever and increasingly so

[Erin Pavlina]

Yes good point, they can also steer you away from trouble. If only we listen.

[striving4peace]

I'm 29 and have never been in a relationship (not that I haven't tried). Are spirit guides also making sure I don't succeed till the right one comes along? Or is it too hard to say without knowing more about me?

Well, regardless, an interesting peice of info is that a few Indian astrologers have said that the girl I'm gonna find one day and marry has been my spouse in previous births too. I have a strong feeling they're right...

[Ordinary Joe]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Yes good point, they can also steer you away from trouble. If only we listen.

Does it seem as though people here are not so willing to accept that spirit guides would place us in abusive relationships or other hellish states? Are we so ready to believe that we were guided if we perceive that we somehow benefited, but that we have failed to hear the guides if we perceive that we are suffering?

[Rachelle]

Originally Posted by Ordinary Joe

Does it seem as though people here are not so willing to accept that spirit guides would place us in abusive relationships or other hellish states? Are we so ready to believe that we were guided if we perceive that we somehow benefited, but that we have failed to hear the guides if we perceive that we are suffering?

Here's my take on this stuff:
I think it's possible that guides could ...well, guide - or nudge - you into an abusive relationship, but ONLY IF doing so somehow aligns with the goals and agreement your higher self made with your guides when you planned out your life. I could see it potentially serving a purpose or an experience to learn and grow... but they're probably rooting for you to realize that the relationship is an abusive one, that you deserve better and to stand up for yourself, become empowered and leave the relationship or perhaps somehow help the abusive individual, hopefully prompting him/her to change their ways.

[Erin Pavlina]

Yes as I've seen before, our comfort is not always the guides' first concern. Learning and growing is.

[Angela]

My hellish relationship with Mr. Heroin Addict Rockstar Disaster was a great, very effective way of developing the inner resources that are making my LLTMBR with Danger Man so wonderful. I had Thick Skull Syndrome (TSS) and it took a house falling on me (Mr. HARD) to finally learn some lessons that I had been avoiding (creating over and over again with increasingly dire consequences). I am delighted and amused by my creative power in bringing Mr. HARD into my life at the perfect time! If there are guides, it's not difficult to imagine them having an impish hand in these proceedings.

[Little Deb]

this is for Daj:
No, my firend is not homeless. He owns two houses (one is a goat farm), two vehicles, and cleans swimming pools for a living (that's $20.00 an hour). Lots to clean around Louisiana these days, mind you. He used to be a soil sample scentist for the State years ago but gave up the rat-race. Presently, he is surviving two hurricanes that hit his hometown, so he may be making more money than ever. You see, many people play music on the streets at Farmers Markets in the American South, and not all are homeless or impoverished. In fact, the real money in busking is up North in New York City or Vancouver, Canada - depending on how talented one is. In the mean time, he and I have recorded some music and stories with his band The High Pink Clouds. Our latest CD is called The Cow with the Window in Its Stomach. You can purchase it through Cd Baby online. Love and Laughter, folks!

[Sanity Panda]

Lots of questions. Sorry.

How many of our relationships are determined in that manner? Guides co-operating and setting up situations. Does it only apply to the most intimate relationships or can it go down to the most basic meetings?

I'm also curious about the whole negative relationships that guides warn us to avoid if we only listened, where are the other guides in this situation and what do they usually do?

If guides can set up things, can't they also do the opposite? I know that'd be going against the free will idea though.

[Erin Pavlina]

In my experience, guides are seeking to help you get out of life what you most intended. If that means studying the effects of poverty on the human spirit, you'll probably be impoverished. Is it a blessing? Depends on how you look at it and from where you're looking (here or safely back in the ether).

I'm sure we all have a lot of meetings that aren't necessary for our personal growth. I don't think guides stick their noses into everything, just the major stuff.

I know when I was dating this abusive guy that I had to turn off my intuition to be with him. Everything inside me screamed, "This isn't right. Leave him." But my emotions said, "You can fix him if you just try harder. You can rescue him." I'm pretty sure my guides weren't telling me to stay with my abuser. You can turn off those meetings and encounters with ego, logic, emotions, free will. But the guides usually find a way to get your attention, often by making the situation so bad you have to take action.

[Ordinary Joe]

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

I know when I was dating this abusive guy that I had to turn off my intuition to be with him. Everything inside me screamed, "This isn't right. Leave him." But my emotions said, "You can fix him if you just try harder. You can rescue him." I'm pretty sure my guides weren't telling me to stay with my abuser.

This is interesting in that this experience, like any other, has become part of you and was thus available for you to recount to us now as an example. In one view, disregarding your guides' advice earlier potentially benefited the work your guides would bless today. Might this not have been part of any plan all along?

Each of us exists now---each with our own circumstances as well as some trajectory, some inertia---but we are where we are. Our situations may or may not be changeable with conscious determination. So, what value may there be either in believing or in doubting that we are where we are because we have been partially or completely guided, or---conversely---because we have partially or completely ignored our guides---entities of sorts separate from ourselves?

One might argue that the thought of guides itself stands between ourselves and our guides.

[Understand that I don't mean to be incendiary; I'm trying to reconcile some thoughts. I appreciate the group's consideration and input.]

[Erin Pavlina]

I definitely think I learned the lesson I was supposed to learn from the abusive relationship. But it took 3.5 years before I finally had the courage to leave him. I don't think it was necessary for me to stay that long to get the lesson. So that's the part where I feel like they were saying, "Enough is enough. Get out already."

[JSB]

Originally Posted by Ordinary Joe

One might argue that the thought of guides itself stands between ourselves and our guides.

This is an interesting way of looking at things!

It reminds me of a line from Rumi: “Do not look at my outward shape, But take what is in my hand.”

[Tigerlilly]

"Can you miss out on an arranged meeting? Yes, you absolutely can! Free will trumps all, as I’ve said many times."

When I read the blog entry last Saturday, that part had me break into tears.
When you say, free will can mess up the best spirit guide meeting arrangments, that seems hardly fair when you don't even know what you are turning away from in any decision you make. I mean, if you knew that your other half was waiting down the one road, you'd never take another, would you?
Remember the old couple at the end of the movie "Harry & Sally" whose lives had crossed paths so many times during their lives totally unbeknownst to both of them, whose lives were interwoven in such a magical way, and only for them to meet when they're close to death?
Being faced with a revelation like that, of somehow always having acchieved to unwittingly not meet up with this ultra-important someone you were meant to meet, would at least make me wish I'd never been born at all, I really can't imagine being faced with a greater life flop than that.
It's all good fun to say, I guess we were meant to meet all along or already back then, if not too much time has passed in between, but if its really a huge part or nearly all of your life spent apart? How are you supposed to deal with the grief that must accompany having this sort of revelation in looking back?