Casting Love At People (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Casting Love At People

[coLLege kid07]

Great post. It helped me straighten out some things in my life. Thanks alot

[doriette]

I'm sitting in my office, hyper-aware of other employees' resentment of me, when I checked my RSS feed and found this blog entry.

I became aware of not WANTING to send them love energy, of wanting to hold on to the feelings of hurt and resentment that they awoke in me.

And I realized how ridiculous that was.

I hate how hard it is sometimes to let go of negative emotion, but I shall do my best.

Thank you, Erin, for your wonderfully timed post.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by doriette

I'm sitting in my office, hyper-aware of other employees' resentment of me, when I checked my RSS feed and found this blog entry.

I was in the same situation you are. My co-employees resented me for certain reasons, and I ended up leaving the company. It was my greatest "failure" to date, and was the result of a period of reflection and growth for me.

I wonder if I had cast love energy at them, it would have made a difference? In hindsight, I would like to think that it would have made thing positive, but I truly don't think that it would, even now. I had tried to extend a hand in friendship, civility, etc over and over and keep getting it bitten off. So I stopped extending a hand. And finally quit.

So, basically my question is, what do you do when you are faced with a group of people who refuse your love energy? I'm not talking about one or two individuals, I'm talking about a group of about 8 people.

Everyone else in the company had no problem with me and didn't even see my silent suffering. I even got awarded something because of my performance.

How do you deal with those who are determined to always dislike you, undermine you, no matter what? Are there people like this? Before I worked there, I would have said no. But it really did happen. Is it perception? Does everyone eventually come around? How can you tell?

[StellaBlue]

Erin, what a beautiful blog.

[Bene]

What a beautiful post Erin.

I have been doing this in the last 3-4 months and I can tell you all it works! I've especially used it with people who I've had differences with and amazingly things become much better. In the past, the situation used to get worse and worse... like a negative spiral.

What I do is I open my heart chakra, visualize the person and send them unconditional love.

[Erin Pavlina]

NS123: I might try to send them forgiveness if I couldn't send them love. Or I might send them some understanding. Or you can wait until you reach a point in your life where you can send them unconditional love from your heart. It took me years to forgive someone who hurt me violently, but eventually I was able to do it. If you had asked me to do it at the time I would have been hard pressed.

The more love energy you can send now to anyone the better it will be for you. You might find your capacity to be more loving increases quickly. And that might have an effect on the people around you who resent you or who are angry at you.

[Mato Kinze]

Originally Posted by ns123

I was in the same situation you are. My co-employees resented me for certain reasons, and I ended up leaving the company. It was my greatest "failure" to date, and was the result of a period of reflection and growth for me.

I wonder if I had cast love energy at them, it would have made a difference? In hindsight, I would like to think that it would have made thing positive, but I truly don't think that it would, even now. I had tried to extend a hand in friendship, civility, etc over and over and keep getting it bitten off. So I stopped extending a hand. And finally quit.

So, basically my question is, what do you do when you are faced with a group of people who refuse your love energy? I'm not talking about one or two individuals, I'm talking about a group of about 8 people.

Everyone else in the company had no problem with me and didn't even see my silent suffering. I even got awarded something because of my performance.

How do you deal with those who are determined to always dislike you, undermine you, no matter what? Are there people like this? Before I worked there, I would have said no. But it really did happen. Is it perception? Does everyone eventually come around? How can you tell?

What I do to pay the bills is coach and counsel people in your situation. What I would tell someone who came to me with this problem is that, in this case anyway, it's all about you.

That is to say, if you are impeccable in what you do and who you are, if you are strong and confident in yourself, if you do not allow others thoughts and emotions to dictate your own, then it becomes a question of mind over matter; You don't mind, so they don't matter.

Just like in Spiritual matters, the energy and vibration you put out repels negative emotions and attracts positive ones. And those negative things that happen, happen around you, not to you.

Since you have no control over what others do, feel, say or think, the only thing you can do to improve your situation is to choose to be impeccable. Sending out love energy is just one way of helping yourself be impeccable.

I'll share also what I do when I'm faced with someone whom I having a hard time sending love to: I think of puppies. I know, I know.. that sounds corny, but I'm a dog person and I love puppies. When I think of puppies, I have an instant, heart-felt sense of "awwwww...." As soon as I feel that, I can latch onto it and then it's just a matter of consciously inserting the person into that frame of reference.

For you, it may not be puppies. Maybe it's kittens or babies or flowers... it doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that you can focus your attention and energy on something that you love unquestioningly whatever that may be and then transfer that feeling to your "target".

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by ns123

I had tried to extend a hand in friendship, civility, etc over and over and keep getting it bitten off. So I stopped extending a hand. And finally quit.

Could you just offer the love energy with your energy, without expecting anything in return? They don't even have to know you're offering it! The energy of doing that CAN transform things - but it most often does if you're not requiring it to. Does that make sense?

Originally Posted by ns123

So, basically my question is, what do you do when you are faced with a group of people who refuse your love energy? I'm not talking about one or two individuals, I'm talking about a group of about 8 people.

How can anyone refuse what IS? I mean, if I'm standing at the grocery store with my heart open, offering love to everyone I see, love is there. It becomes part of the air. How can they refuse? It's just there. I'm not anticipating acknowledgment of it, it just is. Even if the cashier is cranky and isn't making eye contact, the love is there.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by carenkh

Could you just offer the love energy with your energy, without expecting anything in return?
...
How can anyone refuse what IS? I mean, if I'm standing at the grocery store with my heart open, offering love to everyone I see, love is there. ... I'm not anticipating acknowledgment of it, it just is.

This is very powerful.

Perhaps a part of my lesson here is to learn unconditional love. I admit I am no where near that yet. And I'm not too sure I'm at the stage to embark on that path yet.

But you have have a very powerful point. I think I'm too preprogrammed to buy into the concept of unconditional love. I have to deprogram myself first - and that's a journey I'm trying to embark upon now. Baby steps.

Thank you for all your advice, everyone here. It helps bring clarity.

[ns123]

Originally Posted by Mato Kinze

That is to say, if you are impeccable in what you do and who you are, if you are strong and confident in yourself, if you do not allow others thoughts and emotions to dictate your own, then it becomes a question of mind over matter; You don't mind, so they don't matter.

MK,

Thanks for your insight. I can see where you are going. My next question is... what if they actively undermine you? Here is an example:

My team lead told me specifically to implement something a certain way, because I didn't really understand the business. I was hired on with the expectation that I would eventually learn the underlying business, but at first, would have to rely on team mates to clarify. Anyway, so I did exactly as he asked, and then, he turned around later and asked me why I did it like that. I told him it was he who told me that, and he denied it! It was an implementation that I would never even make up, since I didn't even know the business that well to make it up like that - it was too complicated an implementation. He denied it totally. I was in total shock at such blatant dishonesty.

Anyway, what do I do in the face of blatant dishonesty? I told my big boss about it, but I don't think he believed me. I actually could not even believe it myself. I was in total shock.

This was just one example of things that were done. I tried to ignore it, form my own positive group, worked with other teams. Everyone loved me. HR was shocked I was leaving, since the award I got was very rare - they never did that before, ever.

Eventually, I chose to leave because I could not subject myself to such toxicity. Even now, I still wonder what it was that turned my whole team against me. This has never happened before, I never blame others for my failures, ever. But I have gone on and on with this, and even now, after the wounds sting less, it still looks like it was "all their fault." Which is so disappointing for me to say. Because it makes me sound like a victim and I absolutely hate that.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me rant.

Maybe my positive energy is not really positive because it's conditional. Maybe sometimes, sending positive energy people's way only works if it's unconditional. Maybe I didn't stay on the love energy wagon long enough. I dunno. But I sure wish I could tell how long to stay and when to abandon wagon.

[hopena]

This is lovely.

I have tried this in the past, when I thought someone might need a boost ~ that includes people I've had problems with, if I thought they needed it. I wish I could maintain a good attitude with the latter, one-hundred-percent of the time, but I suppose some is better than none (I'm working on easing any defensiveness I feel - it isn't usually an issue, but is there in certain situations. Even then, if I know something is really wrong, then the bad feelings disappear ~ I get that from my parents).

(*edited out personal situation.)

This also reminded me of a part of the book Eat, Pray, Love that reminded me of The Intention Experiment (I quoted it here), that was an example of this type of thing (sending love) really seeming to help someone.

- - - - -

I have to add that the thought of people doing this, out in the world, really perked me up this morning. I especially love that your daughter is sending love to all of the children in her class.

[cinnabar]

After reading this article, I was finally able to forgive someone that hurt me 23 years ago. Not only forgive, but send them love...

Thank you so much for sharing... for inspiring me to overcome one of the the biggest obstacles of my life. You made a difference.


If I want a world of Love, then Love must start in me.

[evelynlim]

What a lovely post. While I do send healing or love energy to friends and strangers, even though they may not be aware of it, I have yet to send any to past enemies. It is definitely a great idea! It will be a good way for me to also heal past hurts.

Thanks,
Evelyn

[Pequod]

This is such a 'coincidence': yesterday I felt so grateful that I couldn't sleep before casting love to all the people who helped and inspired me (including Erin!). And now I just saw that she made a post about casting love.

I made casting love a habit some two years ago after reading about it in a book of deepak Chopra. I now routinely do it several times daily. Sometimes the effect is strong. For example if someone is riding behind me in his car and driving very close (to make me go faster), and I send him love, very often the person backs off.

Some posters remarked that it is difficult to send love to people that treat them bad. When I encounter that I send them as much love as I can, even if it isn't totally heartfelt, and at the same time I put out the intention to be able to send them the rest. This is basically saying to the universe:"I gave it all I got, and I ask you to take care of the remainder"


Pequod

[dancer]

Thanks, I love your posts, Erin. They are uplifting and inspiring. I often send love to strangers when riding public transport.

[Erin Pavlina]

I am so heartened to hear the post helped and also glad to see people who are already practicing this behavior. It feels so wonderful. I wish I had known about this sort of thing when I was younger.

I do remember one day sending all kinds of love energy to my cat. I was probably 12 or so. I remember thinking, "Hey, kitty, do you know how much I love and care for you? I wish there was some way for you to know for sure and to feel my love for you." Then I remember asking God or the universe if they could please communicate to my cat how much I loved it since I didn't think it understood English.

[winterwind]

Me too..

I often send love to my Mom's dog because I don't believe she gets much sincere and concentrated love energy. I never knew it was called casting Love though...

I also send love to every child that I see. If I can, I'll walk up to them and look them in the eye and say, "You're so wonderful. You are blessed and everything in your life is going to be great."

I taught my sons to send blessings to every airplane they see in the sky. When we see an airplane we say a prayer for their safety and that every need of every person on that plane would be taken care of quickly in perfect ways.

I love sending out love...