Control vs. Faith: Which strategy is better? (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

Control vs. Faith: Which strategy is better?

[Ordinary Joe]

Choose a faith strategy or a control strategy?

Choosing a control strategy is having full faith in the value of control. Choosing a faith strategy is in itself controlling. And not choosing? That is also a choice.

Predetermined to make your next choice or to face your next obstacle with either faith or control is both faith and control; but, is that choosing itself not an error? Does surrendering a part of yourself to a strategy not kill a part of you, leaving you disengaged, disconnected from what is in front of you?

[firefly]

Thanks for the thought provoking post, Erin.

More and more I'm feeling a pull toward the faith strategy, this after years of using the control strategy only to find my ladder leaning against the wrong building.

The issue I'm grappling with is how to flow between the states of patient waiting and inspired action. As you say, faith is more than just sitting on your rear end.

I feel like learning the right balance is mainly a matter of trial and error, with a large dollop of patience.

[Angela]

Personally, I don't subscribe to an either/or philosophy. Also, neither "control" nor "faith" particularly inspire me. But I am inspired by Dynamic Willingness and Surrender, which might be considered to be shades of control and faith.

The difference would be: Dynamic Willingness surrenders the illusion of and need for control by my avatar, and at the same time, plays a directed and powerful game. Using Dynamic Willingness, I am steering and guiding my life in the direction of feeling good on purpose, while allowing that there are feeling-good destinations that I don't know I don't know. So I'm captaining my own ship, but I'm also safe and supported, whatever port or storm I find myself in.

And Surrender is a little different from faith, for me, simply because faith to me implies a personal, interventionist god, and also in my experience there is some struggle against and "problem" with faith, even without a god, but the choice of Surrender is actually letting go of struggle and "problems".

Anyway, I like both Dynamic Willingness and Surrender, and I don't find them to be mutually exclusive. They work pretty well in living a life I love.

That's just me.

[backpocket]

Is it just me or does that video game developer sound familiar...

[Dan.Linehan]

Control yourself -- have faith in others.

[firefly]

Angela, I think you're right on about there being different shades of control and faith, and I feel like everyone has their own personal definitions and shades. For example:

Originally Posted by Angela

faith to me implies a personal, interventionist god, and also in my experience there is some struggle against and "problem" with faith, even without a god

You could take out "faith" and insert "surrender" and that sentence would read the same for me. My definition of faith has a more positive connotation than my definition of surrender and it allows room for both active and passive shades of meaning, so that's what I'm currently using.

Isn't it fascinating how we can find such diverse paths to "living a life I love"?

[ns123]

firefly, you said:

The issue I'm grappling with is how to flow between the states of patient waiting and inspired action. As you say, faith is more than just sitting on your rear end.

I am also grappling with this issue. How can I tell the difference? I think I know what my purpose is, and what I'm supposed to be doing to move toward that purpose... but... I just can't seem to translate this into action.

I was given a vision (through a reading) that excited and inspired me, but I am having blocks in actually translating it into something physical. So... forum readers... how do you... get off your butt and take action?

And btw, I'm not a lazy kind of person. Some would actually call me Type-A. So I am having a problem grappling with sitting on my butt about this.

Thoughts anyone?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by firefly

You could take out "faith" and insert "surrender" and that sentence would read the same for me. ....

Isn't it fascinating how we can find such diverse paths to "living a life I love"?

Yeah.... I love language, and its power to inspire me, and I love that there are so many shades and variations of inspiration for different people in words. Underneath, though, I think we're all interested in the same junk and stuff.

[Mew3692002]

I don't really subscribe to either strategy because in some areas of my life I exert some control, but I think I am mostly leaning towards the faith approach and I use intuitive feelings for the most part. Although I've been working on my life more now than ever and setting goals for myself so that is kind of what happens when you have high end goals!

[NDavid]

Is this like the lightworker/darkworker mindset where you have to commit to one for best results or are these totally compatible?

[Erin Pavlina]

Some people would suggest you need to pick one and stick with it for each area of your life. My opinion is to experiment and see which method yields better results and then try them in different areas to find an optimal strategy. Even if you adopt a single strategy there may be times where you adopt the other one simply because it works better.

Mainly I want people to be aware of the options and the benefits and disadvantages to each strategy. Apply whichever strategy you want to any area of your life but beware the pitfalls and you'll be fine.

[uberinquisitive]

I disagree that you have to choose either control or faith for the most effectiveness.

I used to come from the school of "100% Control, Baby."

Now that I also throw in some faith, not only am I happier, but also my results are better. I use them simultaneously in most situations now.

In my personal experience, just focusing on one or the other just doesn't work that well.

[theknightwhosaysni-NI]

Wow, great article. I found it very thought provoking. It described something I felt intuitively and yet it raises many points and questions :

1)I think these are the kind of concepts that need a high level of consciousness to deal with.
-Opting for a faith strategy can otherwise easily lead to a "religion like" behaviour, which tends to give up free will to an external entity and turns faith into blindness.
-Opting for a control strategy can lead to close mindness.
How can we make use of maximum free will and responsibility for our life and still choose the faith strategy?

2)Is there any relation with the concepts of light/darkworker, where darkworkers would tend to opt for the control strategy and lightworkers would tend to opt for the faith strategy (as Eckhart Tolle would say : "what does life want from me?")

I mean if we choose to be lightworkers, then shouldn't we follow what the Universe is telling us? It knows better what is the Greater Good than we could guess with our first person individual perspective. But in that case, how should we use free will and responsability for our life ?

So far my answer to that is that I use the Subjective Reality perspective and try to act with my free will according to that perspective. From my avatar's point of view, it could be called faith strategy, when from the SR perspective, it's closer to control or deliberate conscious choice.

[Erin Pavlina]

First of all I don't see the faith approach as having anything to do with religion. I could have used "love" and "trust" instead of faith. But I opted for faith so I didn't have to write faith/love/trust each time.

When you use the faith approach you are not giving up your will to the universe. Rather you are releasing the oars and letting the current of life move you swiftly down the river. You still have your oars so that if you're paying attention you can easily avoid getting bashed against any rocks that are coming.

If you're using a control strategy you're controlling the speed and every minute movement of your boat in the water. It may be slower going, you may head down a tributary you really didn't want to go down, but you get the benefit of going at your own pace and choosing your own path and you can slow down your boat or speed it up and easily avoid rocks and low hanging trees.

Free will remains always, no matter which strategy you choose.

[Mato Kinze]

My Grandmother completely lived a life of "faith". She never planned anything, never intentionally saved money or strove for a better job or promotion. She was happy just being who she was and knew that if she prayed, all things would be fine.

It was weird to watch that growing up, but even as a kid, I had to admit that, "If Grandma was praying for something you'd better watch out, 'cause sure as Sunday, it'd happen." Even to this day, 10 years after she's moved on, if something's going well or there was some kind of serendipity, we say, "Grandma must be praying for us." She was a true Prayer Warrior.

Back in the mid 60's, one of my Aunts ran away to San Francisco and ended up living with a bunch of Freaks (their term for themselves, not mine) in a speed den in Haight - Ashbury.

Grandma told her work she needed to leave for a little while, grabbed a bag of clothes for her and her daughter and headed out to the Haight with no idea of where exactly her daughter was, how she was going to get her home, what she was going to do or anything. She just prayed that everything would be alright.

Three days later she's in San Fran. cooking eggs and bacon for about 15 tuned-in and dropped out hippies who hadn't eaten or slept in about a week. It took about two weeks, but she got her daughter squared away - as well as four other runaways - and got her (and them) home. Went back to work the next day with no issues or worries.

When I first decided to take on a life of Faith, I prayed for humility and patience. Word to the wise: "Don't ever do that." The following week I lost my job and was unemployed for nine months. I learned that if you pray for Humility, you will be humbled. If you pray for Patience, you will be made to wait. If you pray for strength, you will have burdens to bear.

These days I pray for mercy and guidance in being who I'm supposed to be. And I check in with Grandma every once in a while to make sure I can get a little help.

[wolfgang]

Wouldn't it be possible to listen to the universe, have that faith, take those signals, keep your oars of the ship in the water and apply your control in the same direction as the faith based promptings? maybe that wasn't clear.

Like the analogy - if faith is letting your ship go with the currents without the oars and taking control is using the oars - why not use the oars to go with the currents? wouldn't that be powerful?

In other words, if you go only with faith, you aren't actively participating unless you control your direction enough to follow what the faith intuitions are telling you. You need control to take action or to even find the faith based messages and direction.

[Erin Pavlina]

You can definitely use your oars to guide you through the rough spots that the current has put you in, but if you use the oars too much you may miss an experience you need to have, one that will help you considerably.

Oh here we go... Wizard of Oz. Glenda tells Dorothy to stay on the yellow brick road and she'll be safe and get to the wizard. But no, she's goes off the road because her conscience (her faith) is guiding her, and that's how she ends up meeting the scarecrow, et al. If she hadn't done that, sure, she may have gotten to the wizard faster but she may not have learned her lesson or gotten home. Who would have helped her deal with the witch, etc?

Another way to look at it... I hate going to the dentist, but I know I have to go. so while he's doing horrific painful things in my mouth that are actually going to leave me in better shape I can at least pop an advil to mitigate some of the pain, but I still have to get that cavity filled for my own good.

[IamBren]

You decide that health is really important to you and you let the universe know that you are ready to achieve a state of good health. The next thing you know, you get into a car accident and end up in the hospital.

The faith based way doesn't sound too appealing to me.

I think if my affirmations were being answered in this way I'd have to ask "what exactly am I putting out there that is attracting this???" Then I'd change my affirmations!

Come to think of it, this sounds like how my life used to go before I was more conscious of these things.

[Spartan]

You know it's weird, I was just wondering about this, not that I believe in fate mind you. And I don't like usage of the word 'universe' when used to mean anything other than the universe which encompasses everything that exists in space and time. Perhaps there's a better word than universe to explain what you mean? Perhaps Creator, God, Destiny, Fate etc are better words? Or how about the Conscious Universe? Something to distinguish it from the traditional concept of a universe.

Do you believe people have free will, or are there certain events which are destined to happen? If there are certian events which are destined to happen in one's life, will the Converse (Conscious Universe) ensure that those events happen, against one's free will if necessary?

[Erin Pavlina]

Here's my take on destiny vs free will

Destiny vs. Free Will

[yossarian]

I suppose a faith strategy is pretty dependent on well-developed intuition?

I'm one of the control-freaks that wants to change, I have a hard time imagining how I could operate effectively on pure faith. It's kind of like jumping off a cliff and hoping that you grow wings before you hit the ground.

Right now I basically approach everything with control. I guess my big issue is that when I try to run on "intuition" without the force of will-power, I end up sitting around all day like that pitfall you mentioned. I end up sleeping 16 hours a day and staying up all night and not eating for 3 days straight. Lol

When I try to be quiet and listen for instruction from intuition, it seems like usually the strongest impulse is sex, food, sleep and distraction. I suppose this is my conditioned habit patterns talking, or maybe the ego or red chakra or something. I don't know.

The way it is now I only listen to my intuition (or to what seems to me like intuition) when my logic agrees with it. If there is disagreement, I go with logic almost always. Wish I could untangle this..

[Erin Pavlina]

Yossarian, if I were you I would try raising my vibration using a specialized meditation for that purpose, and then see what happens when you try to make decisions at the higher vibrational level.

[Captain Cloudchaser]

I really like the descriptions posted here, thank you, you have a great way of describing things clearly

I've always been a 'go with the flow' kind of person, and I'm not sure if it is luck or fate, but I've always ended up okay. I'm not that spiritual, I'm really rubbish at listening to my intuition, so eventually when I started living outside in the 'real' world, I began to hit a lot of road blocks. Most of these road blocks were because I wasn't sure where I was going, and every thing I tried I ended up quitting. Whilst I was 'going with the flow', it wasn't taking me anywhere, possibly because I was blocking my intuition so much and not working with it. Plus, I could probably have done with using a bit of control in my life so that I could have moved forward.

Lately I have been listening, though.. Well, trying to. I decided to start studying again, where previous I had given up numerous times, this time I actually managed to complete something, so I know I can! I'm deciding on what course to do at university, and I can't help but think that my 'go with the flow' approach is sending me towards studying sociology. I wanted to psychology, but the class was full, and sociology was suggested to me instead, and I have never enjoyed a subject as much as that. If psychology hadn't have been full, I would never have even considered studying it, and it took me a huge step closer to understand the world ^^

[Lallymac]

One of the exciting things about ‘letting go’ and ‘trusting’ is discovering things about oneself and life that we didn’t know existed.

To be in control presupposes that you have all the information to direct the show and know the outcomes. There is a tendency to stick with what we know which can result in repeat outcomes. “Do what you’ve always done and you’ll get what you’ve always got.” There is so much pressure in societies to know. ‘You’re an adult, you should know.’ Know who you are and what you want. Societies give a tremendous amount of credit to those who appear to know the most.

When we function purely within the physical mind, what we know is based on our accumulated experience to date, but we are so much more than physical beings. We are living on a continuum of multiple lives. We existed before this life and we continue to exist when this life has ended. So beyond our experiences in this life lies a vast amount of stored knowledge at a soul level. If we allow our minds to extend beyond our ‘this life’ experience and trust the deeper soul aspects of ourselves, we open to rediscovering ourselves on deeper more meaningful levels.

Over the last year or two I have found that admitting to ‘not knowing’ the answers to some of the big questions in my life has opened doors I never knew existed. I’ve rediscovered talent that has lain dormant since childhood and abilities I didn’t know I had. All of my accumulated knowledge/experience to date has given me the tools to fully utilize these new abilities, which has reignited my passion for life. Had I refused to relinquish control, I would not be passionately absorbed in something I love. Even now I have no fixed destination in mind. The day to day journey is so engaging that it is reward within itself.
Lallymac

[Nneka]

What would you label a consciously created life that is in complete alignment with Spirit. Is that control or faith?

I don't think you have to use either/or. Or conversely, split yourself so that you use one paradigm in some circumstances of your life and another paradigm in others. What about finding a solution that incorporates and uses both paradigms?

[Mato Kinze]

Originally Posted by Nneka

What would you label a consciously created life that is in complete alignment with Spirit.

"Enlightened."

[wolfgang]

How does faith/control relate to free will/fate?

Is fate also faith? That you have a certain per destined path that listening to the universe with faith opens the doors to that fate?

Is control free will? That we take our ego will and try to make the universe be what we demand?

Isn't there a will at higher levels for us to fall into place with? Then we are on the right part of our maze? But then doesn't it take some individual free will to get into a position to experience the higher will that is there to take us to where we want to go anyway?

If the boat's oars are not to be used and we should just be going with the currents - then we probably need to use the oars (individual free will) to adjust our boat to stay in the currents. Not to use the oars to go faster and miss things that the current would have for us (divine will).

Was Dorthy's own sense of free will to stray from the yellow brick road was actually the divine will? Maybe part of the divine will is to go off track so that we know how to get back into the flow of it all.

[alexb5784]

I really enjoyed this post and found it to be informative. I'm going to read all of the replies everyone on the forum has contributed. Unfortunately, I'm at work so I will have to read them later.

No wait, I can read them on my iPhone as I commute home

[eternomi]

Just a quick comment about the story in the post:

One day you go to the I Can Do It conference in Las Vegas and it finally dawns on you: “I’m doing it all wrong. I don’t want to make video games for a living. I want to explore personal growth and help others grow. Wow, took me 10 years to see that. If only I’d been paying attention to the blocks that kept coming my way. But how could I see? I was so focused on my goal, never questioning whether it was the right goal for me.” You adopt a new goal and finally start seeing some effortless prosperity, and tons of personal growth. You’re happier than you’ve ever been.

Quite frankly, he didn't have to give up his goals in the video game industry. There were no "inherent" blocks there at all. If he was truly committed, he would be able to overcome those obstacles, but perhaps he would have to change certain things about himself first. Clearly, he wasn't willing to do that and it ended up being a dead-end for him. Not because there was really a dead-end there, but because it simply did not match him specifically.

In his new path, many souls have been lost before and still are. How many people reach the level of success he has doing what he did, as fast as he did it? Did he succeed because he was "destined" for it? I think he succeeded because he was a much better match for the new path and he was willing to take the steps and make the changes necessary to reach success (however he may have defined it).

Obstacles are the ways one is a mismatch for a given path. Overcoming them simply means you make the necessary changes to fit the path. I strongly believe that there are certain ways one has to be to follow along certain paths. You either fit your self to the path, or you pick another path that better matches you. It is very hard to fit a particular path to your self though unless the two already match nicely. Paths have personalities too, and they are just as reluctant to change as you are!