5 Steps to Greater Empathy and Oneness (Blog)

[Erin Pavlina]

Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:

5 Steps to Greater Empathy and Oneness

[dream23]

i've learnt from that empathy is a great flirting tool
On a serious note this is a good topic as many ppl fall down on use of empathy. I am training as a social worker and often am amazed by the lack of empathy used by professionals. In class we are actually taught about empathy in the same context as transference, when human transference i think is inevitable.

Good post, i would like to think empathy is natural enough for moi

[Rachelle]

Just last week, when I popped into MY favorite local vegan restaurant, I had an interesting empathic experience.

One of the worker-owners was on the phone in the 'office'... and his body language spoke so much. The phone call lasted forever it seemed -and I knew this person was the quiet soft-spoken type but I could tell he was just so frustrated even though he wasn't saying anything. I felt so bad for him.

Afterwards when he was off the phone I could tell he was still frustrated. I could feel it radiate off of him - the kind of frustration that just makes you want to cry. Well, I could feel it, and *I* wanted to cry out of frustration for him.

Is there a difference between having empathy and being empathic or being an empath? Are they the same thing or different?

When I mentioned this experience to someone, as I wondered if this meant I was empathic, their response was, " *True* empathy would be something you would sense without seeing or hearing the person; for example, he could be in the other room behind a closed door and you would know how he felt".

My understand is that empathy is related to connection, and that it didn't matter that I was able to read his body language, because I still felt connected to what he was experiencing...

What are Erin's (or other's) thoughts on the matter?

[Erin Pavlina]

You are right. Picking up on another person's emotions or state of mind using visual cues is empathy. I know people who can't tell when a person is bored or excited even while looking right at them. Feeling it inside yourself too is like an empathic transmission. You have to watch that skill otherwise you end up taking on other people's emotions that aren't your own (like anger, frustration, sadness, etc.)

[Marth]

Nice article, body language is one of my weakpoints but sounds important so I'll work on that. Research says that about 20% of what's interpreted in a conversation is the actual words, the rest is body language tone of voice posture etc. That's why I like online communication a lot, there's very little room for misinterpretation

[Rachelle]

Originally Posted by Marth

Nice article, body language is one of my weakpoints but sounds important so I'll work on that. Research says that about 20% of what's interpreted in a conversation is the actual words, the rest is body language tone of voice posture etc. That's why I like online communication a lot, there's very little room for misinterpretation

Actually, I often find the opposite to be true. With text/online communication, you can't hear the tone behind the words. So if someone is being sarcastic, for example, it's harder to know that from simply reading text.

Some people will undoubtedly misinterpret another's meaning or intentions despite the method of transmission. Sometimes I'm pretty shy, for example, and others interpret my lack of social interactions as motivated by snobbery rather than shyness.

The best way, I would think, to connect with someone and get on the same page is to simply talk and communicate. Recall that communication is a full circle and incomplete unless the circle has been completed. i.e. person 'a' delivers message. person 'b' receives message AND THEN confers with person 'a' what they understood. if person 'a' and 'b' are on the same page... then yay! communication!

[dream23]

I agree with Rachelle i think there is a much greater room for written misinterpretation. I tend to quite easily pick up peoples moods, feelings when i talk to them, so i can adjust how i say things if i know what mood they are in, but online it's harder to tell. The thing i like about writing online is the fact i'm not s-slow in s-speech like in real life