Torn over new situation after a psychic reading

[danas]

hi guys, sorry this is a bit long

I had a reading with Erin about a month and a half ago.
I meditated before. It was very encouraging. but now I feel confused about it., about whether to take the given advice. (even though I have no doubt that Erin has phsycic abilities)
My main question was about my boyfriend of 8 months at the time which for various reasons I wasnt sure if I should stay with or not (since the begining I wasnt sure, b/c of our many differences). So I registered for a reading, and got one a few weeks later.
By the time of the reading me and my boyfriend had broken up.
Erin told me it was the right decision, that he was emotionally immature, lll find someone better for me, someone from abroad. She said it will happen as soon as I let go of my ex completely, Ill get into te right vibration to attract someone new.

Well... 2 months have past since we split up, and Ive met some new guys. But it hasnt been easy.
In this time Ive realised that what I want now is to start a family. I was not in a serious relationship for over 10 years before him, and I dont want to be alone anymore. I also realised that I was never fully present in this relationship. He felt that and it made him very insecure, which made us quarrel, I was also telling him what to wear, cut his hair etc... basicly didnt accept him for what he was. I realised that alot of the reason why it didnt work was me.

Anyway one day I was really missing him and sent him conciously a telepathic "hello". within an hour he wrote me an email "how are you?"
basicly we met after a few days (yesterday) , within about 10min I was in his arms. and I realised:
1)He still loves me very much, and really wants to give it a chance
2)I love him too
3)true love is not so easy to find
OK hes not perfect, but he really loves me and if Im honest I love him too.
for the first time hes taking responsibity for why it didnt work
(until now he was blaming me)
So now I dont know what to do...
Do I go with my heart and give us another chance. Or do I trust Erin's words, let go and wait till I find Mr man from abroad?
Maybe she was right, sometimes I really feel that.
but sometimes I think that Im just afraid of the real thing, looking for a bigger better deal

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by danas

So now I dont know what to do...
Do I go with my heart and give us another chance. Or do I trust Erin's words, let go and wait till I find Mr man from abroad?
Maybe she was right, sometimes I really feel that.
but sometimes I think that Im just afraid of the real thing, looking for a bigger better deal

That part about not knowing what to do is the same pattern that caused difficulty before that you describe (I also realised that I was never fully present in this relationship)- that you weren't really in it. If you can be really in it then take it on. That means being able to decide you want to make it work with him. Until YOU decide that it will just be like before and a reading will probably say the same thing about it. But if you do decide, that ambivalence on your side will not cause the issues in the relationship you used to have. I'm not psychic but just noting the pattern, perhaps.

[danas]

thank you wolfgang.
Yes, what you write is correct. I have to decide. This is why Im not in a rush to go back until Ive fully decided
I guess Im feeling confused cause in my reading I was warned not to.
But if I get it right, what your saying is that if I was more into it . then the reading would be different.
But I thought readings were more objective than that. Arent they?
I was told in the reading that I'd be getting the short end of the stick if I stay with him.
Anyway I guess its up to me, like everyone else who gets a reading, to decide what to do with this advice.

[wolfgang]

I guess the accuracy of a reading needs to be addressed by a psychic.

The thing I wonder is that often people get readings because they are unsure about something, but then that very fact of being unsure makes the reading go a certain way. I would guess.

Also unsure people can start to want to check readings all the time to be sure, which might just make someone put their power into the reading instead. However, that last bit you said sounds like the way to approach it. Decide what to do with the advice from a reading.

[Erin Pavlina]

Dana, I think there are two things going on here:

1. You want a relationship, you feel you're ready. But the new guys you're meeting aren't doing it for you. So you're thinking back on the wonderful aspects of the relationship you had and remembering the positive. He pops back into your life and you WANT to believe that this time things will be different.

2. But love isn't enough if you two are still going to have the same problems that caused a break up in the first place. Is he still emotionally immature? Has anything changed in the last 2 months? Of course he needs you. You're his rock, his strength. You two are probably missing the best parts of your old relationship. Very normal.

If I were you, I would consider strongly not to give up on getting a relationship with someone mature and who is your equal. If I remember your reading correctly, wasn't I the second psychic who mentioned you'd meet someone in America?

I can't tell you what to do here, but I think you're both wanting something to be true that isn't becuase you're wanting to go back to feeling loved.

Could that be true?

[ns123]

danas,

First, I apologize if I am intruding. I normally do not try to give people advice on their relationships unless they ask me specifically. But I felt compelled to write.

A long time ago I was in a relationship like what has been described here. I understand that I may not have all the facts of your relationship, and it may be an entirely different situation. And you are not me, so your requirements may be different.

But... I was with someone who was not as emotionally or intellectually my equal too. I would not say that he was inferior, we were just very different intellectually and emotionally. But... he loved me. Very much. He would do anything for me. I could yell and scream at him, and he would still love me. He always did. I could say all sorts of hurtful things and he would still love me. I came to believe that no one could love me as much as he did.

But... I did. And my husband now loves me even more than the other guy did. And he makes me a better person because he does not let me get away with the hurtful comments or the yelling and screaming. And my husband was so not my type back then.

Emotional and intellectual commonalities is a very important aspect in a relationship. The feeling of "I love him, he loves me" will not last long if you guys don't "get" each other on a deeper level. If he is not your intellectual equal, he won't "get" you nor know how to communicate and share certain memories with you which will be vital in strengthening your relationship.

Have patience and believe that a better match is out there for you. It will turn out that this man will be "everything you never knew you always wanted." Anything awesome in our life takes a bit of time to establish - and well worth the wait.

If this current boyfriend is really your match, ask your guides for some signs. And open yourself up to receiving those signs. That may help.

[danas]

Thanks a lot Erin

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

1. You want a relationship, you feel you're ready. But the new guys you're meeting aren't doing it for you. So you're thinking back on the wonderful aspects of the relationship you had and remembering the positive. He pops back into your life and you WANT to believe that this time things will be different.

Yes, that’s true

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

Is he still emotionally immature? Has anything changed in the last 2 months?

Well that’s the thing- we only met for two hours, but yes he- seemed different. He was taking responsibilty, telling me how he was working on changing certain things of his behavior- not for us, but for himself (he wasn’t even talking about getting back). We were laughing at what a mess we made of our relationship. As I said, I realized how my uncertainty about us, messed it up. I realized that if I simply decide- This is my man- (and I believe I can do that) and stop comparing him with my fantasy prince charming, then maybe it can work.

Originally Posted by Erin Pavlina

If I remember your reading correctly, wasn't I the second psychic who mentioned you'd meet someone in America?

Yes, that’s true, exactly 7 years ago another psychic said that he would be from another country (along with other true things she said), just as you did. But now, I met a nice guy, we have a date next week, and I’m already thinking- but he's local- so probably he’s not the one. The thing is because Ive been around the world so much, local guys seem to ground me in a good way. I’m attracted to their belonging and simplicity.

ns123- thanks you too.
This guy is my intellectual equal- no problem there, but maybe not emotionally or spiritually.

Originally Posted by ns123

I came to believe that no one could love me as much as he did.

yes I can relate to that. With him he just sees me, faults included, and loves me the way I am.

Originally Posted by ns123

If this current boyfriend is really your match, ask your guides for some signs. And open yourself up to receiving those signs. That may help.

I’m not sure about "signs" for me. I realized they couldn’t be trusted. I’ve had unbelievable "signs" happen about different thingsin the past, and I realize that that they were just created by my thoughts.
I once had an ex-bf I was so heartbroken about. For months I would leave the house every morning and would bump into him almost everyday. In a cafe, on an empty beach, on top of a mountain at 4 am- it lasted until I let go of him (haven’t seen him for 12 years, were still in the same city). He was especially confused, b/c he saw them as "signs" too, but now I know that our thoughts just created those strange synchronicities.

Anyway- I’m open, my eyes are open, and I’m not rushing. Thank you both for the advice- and Erin thanks for the reading.
Ill give myself some more time without contact with him.

[Holistic Star]

You haven't fully let go of this relationship which is why you haven't met anyone new yet. Don't forget you sent out the 'psychic hello' before he contacted you. You are still sending energetic hooks out to him because, as you said, you are worried about being alone. You know deep down that is not a good enough reason to be with anyone really.

I have to say if you really were full of love for your ex, you wouldn't be on here asking for us to validate your decision to be with him. You would be so swept up in love for him that you would already be with him rather than trying to rationalise your decision.

Be strong. You might find it helpful to visualise cutting the energetic cords that are tying you to your ex and sending him on to live a happy life with love. I'm sure the right person will come along when you are able to let your ex go.

[danas]

This thread has been very helpful for me.
Yes, It is probably time to move on.
I will visualise cutting the energetic cords as you suggest Holistic Star.