"signs" about possible soulmate false?

[Rockchick26]

I've posted about this situation in the IM section but i have more specific questions now and i'd like Erin's opinion too so hopefully she will see this :-) I know now that you cant use the Law of Attraction to attract a specific person. I tried to use it to bring this guy into my life and it backfired on me horribly which led to a wake up call about the way the LoA works. So now i know you can't do that. What i would like to know is,if you get signs from the universe that this person is your soulmate,can those signs be wrong? Or am i just interpreting them the wrong way? Here's what was happening,that i was putting my total faith in being true; I barely knew who this guy was when i had a dream about him,and in the dream we were at a wedding,dancing and kissing. After the dream my feelings for him exploded and for the next year and a half (and still now) i have never felt something so strong for anyone. I am a firm believer in dreams too. So then i tried this "ask your dreams" process (where you write down a question,focus on it,and your dream that night will give you the answer. So i asked the dream to show me how i was going to bring this guy into my life. That night i had a dream that i was supposed to give him my phone number but i was too shy so i went into another room and he followed me in there and asked me for change for a dollar and i asked why he didnt get it from someone else and he said "because i wanted it from YOU!" and he smiled at me. The next night i asked for more details about this and that dream took place an outdoor concert (which will actually be happening this August) and i saw him there. Also a few times when i was meditating i asked to see something about my future. I had flashes of us sitting on a park bench and he was holding my face in his hands about to kiss me,and also of us in my bedroom about to have sex. I didnt imagine these images,they appeared out of the blue,and i SAW them,like i was really seeing my future. I've also gotten TONS of smaller signs like seeing his name in places,seeing other "coincidences" regarding him. Well anyway this was all before i met him about 2 weeks ago,and when i met him,he pretty much seemed like he was trying to avoid my group and seemed irritated that we wanted to talk to him and then within a few seconds he turned around and walked away. Now that i know i cant attract HIM,why was i having these dreams/visions/signs??? If they are meaningless,then how can i trust anything anymore?

[Phantom of Destiny]

Hi Rockchick, I lately I've been experiencing the exact thing you have, I've been having dreams and signs about my possible soul mate too. I wouldn't automatically dismiss your "signs" as meaningless if I were you.

For me, the possibility of my guy being my soul mate started out when I was playing with a Ouija board a few years ago, and me and my friend were asking who we were going to marry and it spelled out his name. Since then, like you, I’ve been getting tons of odd signs and vivid dreams about us being together. So anyways, I wouldn't give up hope if I were you. I guess in this situation, only time will tell.

[Jennihul]

You won't know he was your soulmate for sure until your soul has passed on from this life and you meet again with the rest of your soul group before your next incarnation.

So, ditch the "soulmate" stuff. Just find someone who fits your life and enjoy each other.

I never understood why someone would willingly limit their Earthly pleasures and interactions waiting for a soulmate who may or may not even exist or be incarnated at the same time.

Jennifer

[danas]

hello Rockchick26.
Seeing names in places is so common when Im thinking about someone.
its basic IM. but it doesnt mean "here - this is a sign that he is the love of your life" but rather "here is a reflection of your thoughts, the universe is miroring"

My life has proven to me that "signs" are not meningless but they do not answer the question "Is he my soul mate", if I focus enugh on something or someone I will manage to manifest them them in my reality somehow.

Heres an example: I was once really into a man I had a breif encounter with and was living 900 miles away (the second I saw him I said "I found what im looking for".) I had so many incredible "signs" about him and he was just what I (thought I) wanted.
After we spent days together, he was back in his counrty and after about 2months of not hearing from him, I was missing him and one night I was really meditating about him, praying, asking for signs and went to bed.
At 4 am a book falls from the shelf opening on a page that said "Love" in big bold letters, not 2 min pass and I get an text message from him, saying "Im coming to your country in 2 weeks hope to see you"
Well there was my "sign"! I was so excited. And he did come, even extended his stay, we were together everyday for a month. and it was amazing, I was sure I found my soul mate (and so did he) but even then I saw that I wasnt feeling completely comfortable with him.
Anyway, after that visit we met again, this time it was a disaster, this time the sitation was tougher for external reasons, and it was a nightmare! This guy was so unsuitable for me, like he was square and I was round. No way could we have had a happy life together.
What Im saying is that if I look back at all the signs Ive had about guys,
I realise that I cant trust them to answer these big questions (plus I believe we have more then one "soulmate"- maybe even 20).
The only thing I can trust is my body.
My body knows. If Im in a situation which isnt good for me or that is good for me, I will feel it in my body, that is real- and that is what I can trust.
So IMO you should not set yourself on one specific guy, but rather focus on what you want. write down the list of traits that are really important to you (not too many), and trust the universe to send it to you.
I would advise you not waste your time trying to interpert signs. All they mean is: here are your thoughts- made physical.

[Rockchick26]

Isnt the concept of "soulmates" a matter of belief though? Obviously some believe in it 100%,others believe it cant be possible since your soul lives many lives,,yet others believe there is no such thing at all! I guess my next step is to get a pychic reading to get a professional's opinion about it. But then there will always be other pychics who would say something different! lol I feel like a ping pong ball,bouncing from one corner to another,never sure what to believe in anymore. I have always had a tendency to believe in miracles,magic,faith,signs,all that cool "unseen" stuff...so it is really depressing for me to consider that this stuff isnt real. I want to feel like something is MEANT for me and is going to happen. But i suppose that's taking the easy way out. I just cant help but want that magical moment where i meet "the one" and i want to know that it's coming before i get there. I guess i don't like uncertainty and thats a big no no right? lol I want to know that something that i want is coming,i dont want to live HOPING i get it but not really knowing for sure if i will. I guess its from living so long like that,that i cant trust in it anymore. Every time i see signs about a certain guy,i beleive in them,and i beleive i will be with him,and then i inevitably waste years of my life on waiting for this to happen when it never does. Ugh i hate how i really believe in things and then they dont work! This is why i got so upset this time,because i believed in this more than anything before. I guess i'll just work on myself and forget about relationships,even though by doing that,i feel like the universe will see that i'm happy alone and that isnt what i want. How do you live alone happily yet still want more,what does the universe respond to then? Ugh you'd think i would have this figured out by now,but i feel like i'm going in circles here LOL I'm sure you all are ready to slap me right off these boards LOL

[veranadine]

Hi Rockchick (and everyone else)

Check it out, after almost a decade as psychic channel I have had so many encounters with the concept of "soulmates" both through my own experiences and those of my clients. And I have come to understand one fundamental thing...

There are as many different types of "soulmate" as there are types of relationships in our manifest world.

What is happening when you see faces, names etc. and then meet the person and the situation goes entirely differently (and usually completely opposite) to your visions is that you are being told that you have past life history with this person.

You meet and you expel whatever carry-over energies needed to be manifest from that other lifetime encounter. Then you quite often go your separate ways.

Even true soulmates, people whose souls set out from the ALL CREATOR at the same time or with a common purpose, do not serve the same function in each others life each time. Sometimes we are lovers, other times we are enemies, sometimes the child, sometimes the parent. This is cosmic balance at its finest and most complicated.

I had a man that I thought was my soulmate, I knew his name, heritage, location...everything. I met him and it was a total disaster. But, after that expectation was removed, I stopped looking for a set thing.

It was then that the universe sent me exactly who I needed in my life, he is perfect for me in all the ways that I would never have noticed if I was tsill carrying a torch for the unknown fantasy man.

We have since discovered that we lived at least 4 other lives together and are now engaged to be married.

Let your expectations dissolve, open yourself to the knowing, loving nature of the universe and live your life...you will be amazed at what you find when your aren't looking.

Blessings,

[Erin Pavlina]

Here is a blog entry I wrote about soul mates:

Do you believe in Soul Mates?

[Kaspian]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I guess my next step is to get a pychic reading to get a professional's opinion about it.

So you're going to run from psychic to psychic until someone tells you what you want to hear? Seems like you've already heard from two who told you the same thing; you just don't like their answers. In this thread in general, you seem to resist hearing the advice people have given you if it doesn't fit what you think you want.

Although I believe in the value in getting someone else's perspective and advice when I'm struggling, I don't give them or what they say that much authority over me. Stop looking for signs outside yourself. Instead, quiet your mind, take a slow deep breath, and ask yourself—your subconscious mind, your body, your higher self—they all know; you just need to be willing to hear what they have to say.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

How do you live alone happily yet still want more,what does the universe respond to then?

Alone, I am whole and complete. In a relationship, I am also whole and complete. I don't need the guy to complete me. You can know you'd like to be in a relationship without letting it turn into a desperate want that controls your life. When you desperately need someone, you attract someone who wants to be desperately needed or will use your need to control or manipulate you.

Be your fabulous self alone. Develop your interests, grow as a person, find who you are, and then when you encounter some great guy who you really click with, he'll be more likely to be someone who is good to you and good for you.

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Jennihul

So, ditch the "soulmate" stuff. Just find someone who fits your life and enjoy each other.

This is such absolutely perfect advice.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I want to feel like something is MEANT for me and is going to happen. But i suppose that's taking the easy way out. I just cant help but want that magical moment where i meet "the one" and i want to know that it's coming before i get there. I guess i don't like uncertainty and thats a big no no right? lol I want to know that something that i want is coming,i dont want to live HOPING i get it but not really knowing for sure if i will. I guess its from living so long like that,that i cant trust in it anymore. Every time i see signs about a certain guy,i beleive in them,and i beleive i will be with him,and then i inevitably waste years of my life on waiting for this to happen when it never does.

Can you see what I meant when I said to you in the IM forum that you have a tendency to sound frantic? "I want to feel like" "I just can't help but want" "I want to know" "I want to know that something that I want" "I don't want to live hoping" "I inevitably waste years of my life on this"

It sounds like you are putting way too much stock into what you think are signs about a certain guy, if you then waste years of your life waiting for something to happen, rather than continuing to go on about your life.

Also, you tend to have very rigid and narrow definitions of what an acceptable relationship would be. Here it's the structure of how it starts. You want to feel like something is meant to happen, that it's destiny, and you'll know the instant you see him, across a crowded room, there will be this magical moment and you'll know he's THE ONE.

What if it's not like that at all?

Originally Posted by danas

Seeing names in places is so common when Im thinking about someone. its basic IM. but it doesnt mean "here - this is a sign that he is the love of your life" but rather "here is a reflection of your thoughts, the universe is miroring" . . .
My life has proven to me that "signs" are not meningless but they do not answer the question "Is he my soul mate", if I focus enugh on something or someone I will manage to manifest them them in my reality somehow. . . .
I would advise you not waste your time trying to interpert signs. All they mean is: here are your thoughts- made physical.

I agree with you that these things tend to be more mirrors than signs. I told a story in another thread about having a big crush on a rock star, and the coincidences involving all this were sometimes hilarious and sometimes disconcerting, but I never thought it was because he was my soulmate or anything . . . it's just that I was thinking about him all the flippin' time and I was walking around all in love/lust Big Crush and all that, it seems inevitable I was attracting his music and his name and people who like his music and so on.

Since coincidences/synchronicities are my thing, I've learned that they don't tend to be signs, unless maybe I'm asking for a "yes" or a "no" or a "not yet" on a decision. As danas said, they tend to be reflections. Maybe a wink from the universe. I've finally started keeping a journal of all this stuff and also putting in there cool coincidences I remember from years back. This morning while going through auction stuff, I ran across an old map of Michigan's U.P. with tourist spots of interest. In my mind I went back to a weekend my mom (who passed away many years ago) and I had traveled up there, and went to a supper club where one side dish was "vegetable." I jokingly told Mom I'd get "vegetable" as long as it wasn't rutabagas. She said a little sarcastically that she seriously doubted it would be rutabagas. Sure enough, it turned out to be rutabagas, which we thought was rather bizarre.

I typed that up in my journal this morning. Then late this afternoon, still going through auction stuff, I was looking through the contents of old Wisconsin Trails magazines and run across an article called "The Reluctant Rutabaga." Which made me smile. I added that to the journal, and found that the rutabaga story was the last thing I had typed in there.

I really don't think this is a sign I'm supposed to run out and buy some rutabagas, which I don't even like. It's just a reflection. And a nice one, also. Hi Mom. It also showed me I should learn how to spell "rutabagas" correctly.

[Angela]

I think I'm going to name my little girl "Rutabaga." It's almost as pretty as "Chlamydia."

Thank you for the sign, Moonrambler!

[moonrambler]

Originally Posted by Angela

I think I'm going to name my little girl "Rutabaga." It's almost as pretty as "Chlamydia."

Thank you for the sign, Moonrambler!

You funny, Angela.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Kaspian

So you're going to run from psychic to psychic until someone tells you what you want to hear? Seems like you've already heard from two who told you the same thing; you just don't like their answers. In this thread in general, you seem to resist hearing the advice people have given you if it doesn't fit what you think you want.

Although I believe in the value in getting someone else's perspective and advice when I'm struggling, I don't give them or what they say that much authority over me. Stop looking for signs outside yourself. Instead, quiet your mind, take a slow deep breath, and ask yourself—your subconscious mind, your body, your higher self—they all know; you just need to be willing to hear what they have to say.



Alone, I am whole and complete. In a relationship, I am also whole and complete. I don't need the guy to complete me. You can know you'd like to be in a relationship without letting it turn into a desperate want that controls your life. When you desperately need someone, you attract someone who wants to be desperately needed or will use your need to control or manipulate you.

Be your fabulous self alone. Develop your interests, grow as a person, find who you are, and then when you encounter some great guy who you really click with, he'll be more likely to be someone who is good to you and good for you.

So far i havent talked to ANY psychics about this,do you mean Erin's post? I havent read her blog yet. But i dont disregard what people say to me even if i dont want to hear it. I still read and consider everything everyone says. Its just that sometimes people peg me wrong,or sometimes i'm wording something in a misleading way,so i have to clarify. I was never good at wording things. And about the other thing,i HAVE felt like i was whole by myself,and happy...the last 3 years i've spent finding out who i am,what i want to really do with my life,expanding my mind,learning all kinds of new things i never knew existed (metaphysical things,holistic healing,lucid dreaming,meditation,the list goes on),in fact never in my life have i ever been so independent. I LOVE spending an entire day by myself learning and exploring things about myself and about life. I'm not saying i dont still have issues,just that i've made what feels like a complete turnaround as far as "ME" goes. I no longer feel dependent on anyone for my happiness. I WAS that way,but in order to notice this difference,i had to have changed at least somewhat.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by moonrambler

This is such absolutely perfect advice.


Can you see what I meant when I said to you in the IM forum that you have a tendency to sound frantic? "I want to feel like" "I just can't help but want" "I want to know" "I want to know that something that I want" "I don't want to live hoping" "I inevitably waste years of my life on this"

It sounds like you are putting way too much stock into what you think are signs about a certain guy, if you then waste years of your life waiting for something to happen, rather than continuing to go on about your life.

Also, you tend to have very rigid and narrow definitions of what an acceptable relationship would be. Here it's the structure of how it starts. You want to feel like something is meant to happen, that it's destiny, and you'll know the instant you see him, across a crowded room, there will be this magical moment and you'll know he's THE ONE.

What if it's not like that at all?


I agree with you that these things tend to be more mirrors than signs. I told a story in another thread about having a big crush on a rock star, and the coincidences involving all this were sometimes hilarious and sometimes disconcerting, but I never thought it was because he was my soulmate or anything . . . it's just that I was thinking about him all the flippin' time and I was walking around all in love/lust Big Crush and all that, it seems inevitable I was attracting his music and his name and people who like his music and so on.

Since coincidences/synchronicities are my thing, I've learned that they don't tend to be signs, unless maybe I'm asking for a "yes" or a "no" or a "not yet" on a decision. As danas said, they tend to be reflections. Maybe a wink from the universe. I've finally started keeping a journal of all this stuff and also putting in there cool coincidences I remember from years back. This morning while going through auction stuff, I ran across an old map of Michigan's U.P. with tourist spots of interest. In my mind I went back to a weekend my mom (who passed away many years ago) and I had traveled up there, and went to a supper club where one side dish was "vegetable." I jokingly told Mom I'd get "vegetable" as long as it wasn't rutabagas. She said a little sarcastically that she seriously doubted it would be rutabagas. Sure enough, it turned out to be rutabagas, which we thought was rather bizarre.

I typed that up in my journal this morning. Then late this afternoon, still going through auction stuff, I was looking through the contents of old Wisconsin Trails magazines and run across an article called "The Reluctant Rutabaga." Which made me smile. I added that to the journal, and found that the rutabaga story was the last thing I had typed in there.

I really don't think this is a sign I'm supposed to run out and buy some rutabagas, which I don't even like. It's just a reflection. And a nice one, also. Hi Mom. It also showed me I should learn how to spell "rutabagas" correctly.

lol Thats a funny story! Well obviously i wouldnt take them as signs if it was something as trivial as vegetables,but i do ask for signs regarding if this guy is my soulmate or not (well,i HAVE i guess,not anymore) but thats why i put so much importance on it because this was the only area of my life that i've gotten "signs" about. I dont have these coincidences with anything else i think about,only this guy. That further reinforced my beliefs. But,i guess now i just have to accept it isnt true. I need to do more research on soulmates now to learn what they really mean. Guess i fell victim to the old "magical moment of finding The One",but i'm not the only girl like this LOL Ahhhh,this is a little depressing but at least i'm learning and am growing and soon this will all be behind me. Thanks everyone for persisting and not giving up on me! :-)

[oberlee]

Hi Rockchick,

It sounds to me like you're really WANTING this and are not accepting the fact that it's not working out. Hard, I know, but the more you resist what is, the more that the object of your desires gets distant.

[Kaspian]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So far i havent talked to ANY psychics about this,do you mean Erin's post?

Oops, on that part I may have been thinking of a similar post I read recently. Regardless, I still think you're putting way too much emphasis on signs, trying to rationalize, justify, and cling to this vision of how you think things should be, rather than seeing things as they are.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by danas

hello Rockchick26.
Seeing names in places is so common when Im thinking about someone.
its basic IM. but it doesnt mean "here - this is a sign that he is the love of your life" but rather "here is a reflection of your thoughts, the universe is miroring"

Big dittos from my experience. I have seeded many a dream from idle day dreams that were signs of my clinging to something coming about that I thought I wanted. Now of coarse you can step back and wonder why it is that you spend time thinking and dreaming of a certain person. That's were the question is. Not wondering why the dreams aren't coming about but why it is you seeded those dreams. What does it say about how you are operating to get into seeing these as signs or why are you doing that to yourself.

I would advise you not waste your time trying to interpert signs. All they mean is: here are your thoughts- made physical.

There is a possible interpretation that you can do, but it's not about trying to understand why the dreams haven't unfolded but why your thoughts are running this certain way (that has caused the "signs"). The reflection is pretty strong and the reflection is there to show you how your inner world is running.

[wolfgang]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

Isnt the concept of "soulmates" a matter of belief though? Obviously some believe in it 100%,others believe it cant be possible since your soul lives many lives,,yet others believe there is no such thing at all!

I like your posts for some reason. I think many people we encounter are soulmates. As far as ending up with someone to be intimate with, maybe that's just a repeat meeting from another lifetime. Then, some of those encounters may not even work because this lifetime isn't going to work at that level for a particular soulmate. I'm just speculating how to form a belief about this. Say this guy is your soulmate, then that could mean you've been with him before and that's what drives all the signs or your seeding of signs - that you recognize his pull for you in this life. But that doesn't mean this lifetime is going to work out. I like to think there are many possible soulmates floating around in our lives. Some we've been with in the past or tried to be with and then we recognize them now. Then it's a matter for timing for one of those possibles to pan out.

I guess my next step is to get a pychic reading to get a professional's opinion about it. But then there will always be other pychics who would say something different! lol I feel like a ping pong ball,bouncing from one corner to another,never sure what to believe in anymore. I have always had a tendency to believe in miracles,magic,faith,signs,all that cool "unseen" stuff...so it is really depressing for me to consider that this stuff isnt real.

You already see how that would go - don't do too much of that, right? you can get addicted to readings you know?

I want to feel like something is MEANT for me and is going to happen. But i suppose that's taking the easy way out. I just cant help but want that magical moment where i meet "the one" and i want to know that it's coming before i get there.

Magical moments, sure, why not. However, knowing before hand would take away from the magic. All the sparks I've felt from someone, was not from knowing ahead of time. And that magical moment is mutual physical chemistry, I think. You both ketch each other's gaze and feel a jitter.

I guess i don't like uncertainty and thats a big no no right? lol I want to know that something that i want is coming,i dont want to live HOPING i get it but not really knowing for sure if i will. I guess its from living so long like that,that i cant trust in it anymore. Every time i see signs about a certain guy,i beleive in them,and i beleive i will be with him,and then i inevitably waste years of my life on waiting for this to happen when it never does. Ugh i hate how i really believe in things and then they dont work!

Radically all beliefs are a form of attachment. Attachment is suffering. So then that's my belief (he he) that all beliefs lead to suffering. I'm still working that idea out.

This is why i got so upset this time,because i believed in this more than anything before. I guess i'll just work on myself and forget about relationships,even though by doing that,i feel like the universe will see that i'm happy alone and that isnt what i want. How do you live alone happily yet still want more,what does the universe respond to then? Ugh you'd think i would have this figured out by now,but i feel like i'm going in circles here LOL I'm sure you all are ready to slap me right off these boards LOL

So you built of a belief which was an attachment to a certain thing panning out, and then it didn't. I would venture to say living alone and finding love in whatever sphere you have is how it works. Find love for yourself and expand it and it will start to touch others and be a vibe that opens doors to the possible soulmates that you haven't met yet. You won't be living in a feeling of lack or sending a vibe of wanting more, but a vibe of "look how cool this feeling is, it would be cool to expand it and include some others". Does that make any sense? btw, I doubt anybody is thinking you need to be slapped off these boards. Probably the opposite. You are very welcomed here, it seems to me. What you write about is a struggle that we all face, and your ability to state how some of these 'new agey' or 'IM' ideas don't seem to really work helps others see how to put these ideas together better. Right everyone reading this?

[mncz]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

What i would like to know is,if you get signs from the universe that this person is your soulmate,can those signs be wrong? Or am i just interpreting them the wr