When its your time to go....

[RedFoxBot]

Hi

I'd like some input on something that happened to me last night....

Will give a brief background to myself/the event

I've always been energy sensitive, highly empathic and have some psychic skills which seem natural to me. I've also had my share of experiences (erins monster under the bed blog post reminded me a little of growing up...except I didn't have erin as a mum)

One such event happened about 3years ago now....the short version (will post long version if anyones interested?) is I had a vision of a previouse life....when I say vision...its hard to understand unless you've had one (I hadn't until that point). Literally played before my eyes.
More specifically it was my death in a previouse life...and that of a friend.
Full 3d surround sound...lol
Although the sensations where 'mute' I felt everything...so I remember what it felt like to die/leave my body at death

I've been trying to tune into my higher self/intuition more recently..and doing ok...although my ego kinda gets in the way alot...and makes stuff up...'words' heard in my head are usually ego (although not always...my ego tends not to be calm/positive...so maybe I just answered the question I'm about to ask)....feelings/sensations are usually higher self (certain type of feeling....calm...drawing to things...helped me avoid a car that nearly pulled into my road weith about a 5second warning...couldn't see it until the last second mind...just had a sence to 'watch/avoid' a spot...its like catching sight of something shiny...lol)

Anyway...last night something odd happened thats shook me up a bit...I'd woken up about 4.30am....and drifting back to sleep at about 5am I head quietly...'its your time to go...' or words to that effect.....
This I probably would have ignored...except for the fact that I then started getting the same sensation I did with my 'death' in the previouse life...
Being half asleep...it felt warm and inviting....and familuar...natural...easy...then my head butted in with 'What the hell?!?!?!'
If it wasn't such a peaceful feeling I probably would have panicked...

2 trains of thought started in my head.....'ok its time to go..must remember not to hold onto anything and get stuck'...and 'I don't want to die...what the hell is this?'....these competed for a minute until I woke up more and decided to fight the feeling off....I want to live thanks...

Needless to say it freaked me out a bit....but not that much in a way.....still feeling at peace...weird

So the next thought....was it geniune?! The voice I could have dismissed..but the sensation with it.....that was weird
What if something had wanted me to go? If its my higher self..have I done something wrong by not? and if its something without my best intention at heart...how do I tell?

I wrote a message on my mobile phone just incase something did.....then laid there and thought about it....still with the sensation in the background

Had come up with a theory to help with my low energy levels last night.....felt like my 'template' as it where was there (could feel it)...but wasn't quite imposed properly on my body...so last night I started removing blocks to help it fall back into place....

Scanned over my energy (was something seriousely wrong with me?)....couldn't spot anything

The only answer I came up with was 'I will not go blindly'.....meaning...true calling or not...I had been going blindly....so the lesson I hit upon was 'I will not go blindly'....

So had it been something molevolent? scanned round my energy....did get an image of something...although at this point my self doubt/mind is all over the place....
Had a round sheild...a long thin angled sword (no cutting edges though..more like a spike)...and it and its weapons where all sort of grey/black...mottled (decaying?)
It promptly stabbed me through my solar plexus up into my heart chakra...ACK! bad monster.....the 'I will not go blindly' had given me a good positive charge....and I reminded myself that it was in 'my space'....so I promptly desolved the sword/spike into white light....

I kinda didn't get back to sleep for the next 3hours...and am sat at work trying not to nod off....fortunatly I'm the only one in so I may go kip

To sum up......eh? What the hell?! Any ideas/input?!
I'm so tired at the moment I feel so weird....
I'm 'at peace' and 'on edge' at the same dam time
Do you think I was just finding my inner peace and something came along to twist it?! Was it my time to go?! All a trick?!?!

Thanks in advance to anyone with any input atall....literally feeling like I'm gonna die is a new one....the rest isn't...never seen that thing before either mind (Although that doesn't mean I know whats going on)

Thanks

[NotesMaeve]

I intend to die in a way that is noisy, messy, and inconvenient for everybody. Slamhot is praying he dies first.

Srsly, there are many forms of death, and death is merely transcendence. Perhaps it's just new growth. Your feelings about growth may manifest itself as fear and pain.

[RedFoxBot]

lol

I will have to post my friends old email signature...its very similar to what you just said...sounds like a good way to go..lmao

That did cross my mind (although the tiredness don't help)...that it was just a metaphore...I have been seeking a larger transition...so perhaps this shouldn't be such a supprise...

...oh man I think something just clicked......
I was thinking of typing the following:
"Maybe my question should now be....how do you not be affraid when your energy goes all tingly/feels like your gonna go floating off to another dimension....its happened to me more than once...and I tend to panic/stop it....how do you not be affraid your about to die or something"

Affraid of death.....I think its getting a bit clearer now....it was a change..but it brought up an old fear with it...thats blocking the change.....

I'd go AHA if I wasn't so tired...lol *yawns*

Still....any other input on this would be nice...

Also...DOH...at requesting Large change and then panicking when it starts happening...lol
Hope I havn't messed it up?!

[Erin Pavlina]

Are you sure you weren't just having an out of body experience? That's what it sounds like to me. And you resisted and pulled yourself back.

One time, and this has only happened once, I was fully awake and laid down on my bed. All of a sudden I was ejected from my body into an astral state. I was so shocked! I was standing over my body going, "What the hell? I wasn't intending to project. I hope I'm not dead cuz that would really suck." It was instant separation... it really felt like I was just ejected out, so I thought I might be dead.

But I merged back with my body and got back in okay. I was very freaked out.

[RedFoxBot]

You could be right....logically it fits.
But I can't say I remember what the exit feels like.....
I use to automatically project when I was a kid (although I didn't realise it at the time)...no wonder it felt familiar
Funny, I have 2 books laying around that I bought with the intention of learning to consciously project....but still haven't got round too I think perhaps its time
I think I will dig them out...feels important

My energy seems to be doing some weird stuff at the moment! Not been this highly charged/calm for years

Odd side thought...I wonder then if death just feels like astral projection? It seemed to from my recollection of that particular previous life.

Thanks to you both

[Erin Pavlina]

Once you've had an out of body expereince you no longer fear death. Becuase you know you continue on after leaving your body.