About my life and I don't know why I am telling you this... Erin

[Rocco]

Hello Erin,

I am reading your blog and Steve's for a while now and I have to say your work is really great!

I would like to tell you something about my past and me. Right now I am not 100% sure why exactly, but I have a feeling.

I was born in Germany in September 1982 and my past was not like most of the others. The ways which "I" have chosen were every time totally different from the "mass".

As I was 4 - 6 years old I remember that I never could fall in sleep easily, because I knew that people were running through my room and I heard them whispering, but of course there was nothing. With the time i became more self confident and I was fighting against this, then it disappeared.

After this time I became very focused on money and business. With 13 years I started to trade the stock markets in Germany. I didn't believe in anything except in things which I could see... But during this time, with 13 years, I read the book Think and grow Rich from Napoleon Hill, which were for a long time my "bible". I tried to practice the Master Mind principle and I was trying to understand the "endless knowledge", which flows through the etha. After a couple of years these principles became very clear to me. With 18 years I established my first German Stock Company with 2 partners and became quite successful and popular in this this business. Many people knew me and money was also coming easily. I quit school with 19 without graduation and continued my way.

The strange thing was that I used the Master Mind system and other "spiritual" ways to get my knowledge and ideas, but I never believed in god at this time. God wasn't existent for me. Also nearly everyone believed me and trusted me immediately. People wanted to be and around me. Most of them did what I wanted to, even without that I wanted to... It just came like it should be. It was like a miracle. (It is still today like this)

After this time a very worse and hard period started. I lost a lot of money, the person that I loved, did many things which influenced negatively other peoples and families life's. Including this from my own mum.

I really lost track in my life. I moved to another city and run away from home. I drunk a lot, started many fights. Many times I woke up in hospital and actually I made the decision for myself to go to the "French foreign legion". Fighting was what I liked most. I wasn't afraid of death, actually I wanted to die, but whatever I tried, It just didn't work out. I took many drugs stopped eating, crossing streets for weeks without looking left or right, but no damn car hit me.

During this time I was still living in Germany and the day before I wanted to leave to the French foreign legions one of my best friends and martial arts teacher stopped me and pulled me back. I started special martial arts training a couple month earlier and my coach was very surprised how fast I could learn the techniques, especially hidden energy work in his training. We worked with breathe and movement techniques to control our body, mind and nerve system. We went very far in controlling pain and manipulation strategies. My coach never told anyone exactly what he was doing. Everyone thought that these are normal training methods, but from the first day he looked in my eyes and knew that I am different.

During this night he told me that I have this special "channel view" and he explained many things to me, without knowing who I really was, but everything matched and explained my past to me. During the next 2 years he was teaching me couple times a week, but actually he wasn't teaching, he was just there to confirm my new wisdom. Nearly 90% I discovered by myself. Every night I opened my spirituality more and more. This was a very exited time, but also sometimes scary.

I started to believe in god, actually from one day to the other, I didn't believe in him, I knew he was there! In my mind was for round about 3 years one very special thing going on: I forced god and the spirits to teach me! Not afraid of death or consequences. I pushed them.

My coach warned me many times that I am going to rush in my development, but this was just new motivation for me. He said it will hurt me and I can lose everything, but I ignored it. Many times I burned my body with my Energy, I pushed it to hard.

For a while every morning I woke up and had new holes in my head where blood came out. I think there are at least 10-15 wholes inside. I pushed the energy up my spinal column through the top of my head (center point), then the flow goes ca. 5cm down inside my brains on the level of the 3rd eye, after this it goes straight through the third eye out.

Every night since many years now I see the blue energy ball flying around me and the blue folk, also I can see white creatures or humans who are working on me with their hands.

I know exatcly the difference between OBE's and lucid dreaming. Lucid dreams I am having every night, but OBE's are seldom. I can go in the state of vibration anytime I want, but I have a problem of leaving the body. I can't stop breathing. Couple times I left my body for second, this was during daylight in the afternoon, but I was shocked and afraid.

Many times I think I went through lucid dreams to an OBE, but it is very special. I have to die in this dream and then something flush's me through a channel. And I am awake in different world. Once I woke up in heaven and once in hell. This was amazingly real and I had every time one guide with me.

There are so much more experiences which I could share, but it is too much right now...

Since nearly 2 years my development stopped and I focussed on the earthly world, I think it was to recover, but now I think it is time for new things... Maybe this is why I am writing to you.

Regards from China

Rocco

[Erin Pavlina]

Rocco, I'll bet you put your guides through the ringer on occasion.

Determine what you want to achieve and then get some focus and clarity on it. Sometimes people have a lot of energy but don't know where to channel it.

[Rocco]

I met a very nice lady in Sydney, Australia 2 years ago and she is also a medium. She was amazed by me and told me many things about my past life's. This explained many fears, which I had at this time. They all got released.

With her together I improved my skills of healing with my hands. After a couple of weeks many ladies from all over of Sydney came to see me. Everyone could feel just the energy through my hands. I am using techniques from Franz Anton Mesmer. Actually from him is the English word: to mesmerize : By the way he was also German.

She told me that that I have a quite high standing in the other world and that I am also happily married. I could see the shape of my wife and feel her with me. Every time when I am talking about this, I feel a cold and warm shower through me. It makes me a bit happy.

The woman taught me how to channel, but this is still very hard for me. I can feel that my tongue tries to get control from someone else, but it can't come through 100%. This needs more practice. I am still young...

For me right now I have to find the right way. I have visions and inner voices inside me, which are showing and telling me what I should become. You wrote this nicely in your article with the HS. This visions are getting clearer and stronger to me, but I am not ready to change 100% to it right now. I think it is a development process. There is still too much ego and little devils inside me. And to lose really my ego I think that I have to experience some more bad things, after this I can lose all temptations to do something.

Did you read Emanuel Swedenborg before? He gave me a lot of insights of how the world really is. He was a Swedish philosopher 300 years ago.

Also for all reader who want to get in touch with their higher self should read books about the Kahuna Magic. Especially the books from Max Freedom Long! You will see how easy it is!

Regards,

Rocco