Making a Living vs. Making a Life (Blog)
Use this thread to discuss the following entry from Erin Pavlina's blog:
Making a Living vs. Making a Life
Where is your soul when you’re working? -Erin Pavlina.
You know, you're right Erin. I had this problem before in another spiritual site that I asked about on their forums. Unfortunately, they do not believe in living your life and making a living as well. I love the way I think!:D
and yet again, you write a blog entry that speaks to the exact thing I have been working on. It's getting a little creepy ;)
My question is how do you proceed when you know exactly what it is that you need to be doing with your life but your financial situation is too tenuous to jump into it??
I am recently single with 2 kids to care for (and drive to & from school and cook for, etc, etc, and so on ;) ), and, though I get some child support, it's not enough to support our household. I have been slowly working at my dream "career" (for lack of a better word, maybe "calling" is more apropos) for many years but I haven't figured out how to have it be enough to live on. I have been writing intentions but I think I am too scared to really believe it's possible, especially right now when I have no safety net and no room for a lot of patience or for failure.
Yet, the thought of giving up on that passion and sticking my kids in daycare so that I can get an office job (even one in my field) in order to "make a living" makes me weep hysterically.
I know what I want to do, what my spirit needs to do; I can picture it, feel it, I've done it in bits and pieces my whole life, but how do I make it happen fully in the way I need to support myself and my kids?
Become a vibrational match for your intention and watch for opportunities to develop. Polarizing would probably help too. Be open to the way in which the universe wants to bring you to your goal. it could even involve falling in love with someone who is wealthy (just as an example). There are many ways to achieve a goal. Watch for all of them. It may also be a timing issue. Once your kids are in school during the day it might be much easier for you to segue into your chosen career field.
I unschool with my kids, and am still able to move toward my dream life!
One of the most powerful exercises I have done is write out, in detail, what I want my life to look like. Where do I wake up? Who am I with? (if anyone) What do I do? What does my house look like? Smell like? Where is it? Detail, detail, detail.
Every morning, I spend time *in* that world - imagining waking up there, moving through my day, etc. Really putting myself there. It helps keep my goals clear, and I believe, raises my vibration until that dream becomes reality.
This exercise might be in Ask, and It is Given - I can't remember if it is or not!
Hi - I enjoy reading Steve and Erin's blogs and the forums.
How do you even find the right career for yourself? I've been thinking about this for years, but never really seem to get anywhere with it. I have a nice steady office job that gives me a great salary.
I leave my soul at home every day and would love to start working towards soemthing better...I don't even know where to start!
LittleKeebler, do the exercise in The Path to Purpose and see what emerges.
It's just what I have posted to Steve's blog "Life on purpose". There's a part of Making a living (Inherited purpose) and other of Making a life ("Divine" purpose).
And the two purposes can difficult one another, that's the real difficulty.
Your "are you one of them?" quote felt to me like the one on Beatles Sgt. Pepper's that I always like. The verse in bold. You can gain the world and lose your soul... and lose the world and win your soul...
We were talking
about the space between us all
and people who hide themselves
behind a wall of illusion
never glimpse the truth
then it's far too late
when they pass away
We were talking
about the love we all could share
When we find it
to try our best to hold it there
with our love, with our love
we could save the world
if they only knew
Try to realize it's all within yourself
no one else can make you change
And to see you're really only very small
and life flows on within you and without you
We were talking
about the love that's gone so cold
and the people who gain the world
and lose their soul
They don't know, they can't see
Are you one of them?
When you've seen beyond yourself
then you may find
peace of mind is waiting there
And the time will come
when you see we're all one
and life flows on within you and without you
i am struggling with this exact topic in my life right now. i wish i could afford to do a reading with you, Erin! it seems like so many have benefitted. some of your blog entries actually make me cry because they stike my inner self so deeply. i will do the purpose exercise you suggested~i've been away for a while, but your last 2 entries were just what i needed to read right now and just wanted to say thank you.
Thanks Erin. I'll give it a try!
What is polarizing??
It's funny you mention falling in love. I actually have fallen in love with someone and, though he isn't wealthy, having him in my life is leading me more on the path I've wanted than ever before and joining our households will ease the financial burden. But that can't happen for a while, mainly because of needing to think of the children.
My kids are in school, the older one full-time (2nd grade), the little one just half day for a few days a week. Now that I am getting that extra time, things are starting to come around, but it's terrifying to know that I can't cover October yet. They have done amazing through the process of splitting up our family (their dad moved next door) and I just can't stand the thought of disrupting their lives so that I can get a job, yet it feels slightly irresponsible to continue trusting that the money will trickle in enough to get us through.
I'm also expending a lot of time and energy working on other money making things (web development) that are taking me away from my true love (sewing/ designing). While I enjoy the web stuff and have a talent for it, I am concerned that I am yet again setting aside my true desires in order to survive. I also am having trouble expanding my web work since it really isn't what I want to be doing and my heart isn't in it, nor is my heart in the business I've been nursing for 6 years, and still have responsibilities to.
Gosh, I really need another reading right now but it would be so irresponsible to spend the money.
If you could find a way to work from home AND be doing what you love and are passionate about that would be ideal. I would focus on finding or developing something along those lines...
Oh YAY !! This blog really touched my heart. I have pushed and struggled against preconcieved family and societal expectations of myself and what I thought I should be doing. I went back to uni and did a degree in education to get a proper job and the closer I got to completion the more I felt like I was dying inside. I think I was the most miserable graduate because I knew, by the end, that teaching children wasn't what I really wanted to do. I felt like my family and friends would think I was a failure if I didn't follow through. I felt guilty and didn't want let down all the people who had supported me while studying.
For a year afterwards I was torn between my real passions and what I'd trained for. I bared my soul to myself and confronted my fears challenged my preconceptions, questioned myself (was it fear or laziness), stripped myself bare and slowly put together the pieces of me that make me feel alive.
Now, 18 mths on I realize that the people who love me and know me only wanted to see me happy. I am now doing what I love and exploring more of myself and my passions. I've rediscovered myself and walked past old conditioning and preconceptions.
It's not been easy. In fact it's possibly been the most difficult thing I've done to date. I feel liberated. I've fallen in love with myself again and I do what I do because I choose to.
When you're doing what you love, problems become solutions. You find yourself relishing doing things that you would have loathed (avoided) doing before.
It's been well worth putting up leaky guttering and a tatty couch a bit longer and I may never make rich or famous (not that either were high on my wish list) but I'll die a very happy lady.
this is good!!!
thanks for the article. it really spoke to me. i work in finance and live in a cubicle and i feel my spirit is dying. yes, i can do it but i don't feel i am living up to my potential. i used to want to be a actress but i gave that dream up because i was new in this country i had horrible teeth. also it's hard to make it in the entertainment industry and hardship is not my thing. now i'm 29 and wonder if i may be made a mistake. i have such a restless, creative spirit and jovial personality that doesn't find the best expression sitting at the desk in front of the computer. i don;t know what to do!!!! honestly, not sure what sort of help anyone can give as these issues can only be sorted out on your own, but i thought i would share. :)
Is it easier or more difficult to make a life rather than a living in a society that has a safety net for those who are unemployed? There really isn't a comprehensive welfare system where I live, and the biggest fear I have to face is being unable to provide for my family. That's why I went back to work.
I'm trying to move away from the fear-based mentality, to get enjoyment out of my job, but my negative self-talk is so ingrained that I don't even realize I'm doing it until my husband points it out.:rolleyes:
Another question: How do I get past the big blank I'm drawing when I try to find out what I should and must do? Did anyone else have that problem?
I'm not quite sure what to do about it but I guess knowing it is the first step.
See but when you answer the "what must I do" it has to satisfy your living needs. So if you find something you love, that you can do, and that you feel you should do but it won't make you enough money to take care of yourself and your loved ones, then you have to alter it or keep looking until it satisfies ALL four areas.
Take the "starving artist" for example. Doing something he can do and loves to do but it doesn't satisfy the "must" requirement.
Or take the high end defense lawyer representing people he knows is guilty. He's doing what he can do (he's a talented lawyer), what he must (he makes good money), and maybe even what loves to do (loves the work) but perhaps he's not doing what he should do (feels slimy at the end of the day).
You gotta find something that fits all four.
To satisfy the "must do" area when the other 3 are aligned, you need a way to deliver that value to enough people.
For example, I may be able to write well enough, and I may enjoy it and feel fulfilled doing it. But that alone won't pay the bills. I need a way to share it with others in a way that they receive value from it.
This takes time and patience, but a great way to start out is to provide that value for free initially. This will build your skill and also some referrals (who doesn't appreciate free?), and it's only a matter of time before it becomes income generating.
Erin, I really enjoyed this blog entry. Right now I'm going through a similar change where I am working for money right now and also going to college to get a degree. What I really want to do is become a writer and maybe a speaker. I also love doing stand-up comedy. Right now I am trying to get a math degree so I can teach and get a steady job, but I know that the creative part of me will go insane in that confounding public school system. I just feel so much more fulfilled when creating a piece of literature or writing a joke than doing math equations. If it weren't for my family pushing me...but that's not an excuse. It is my life and I'm sure I will get it where it needs to be. I have faith.
here is my list.
What do you want to do? (desire)
Work from home, Be Independent, Write, Share, Teach, Discuss, Learn
What can you do? (ability)
Listen, Empathize, Feel, Share, Organize
What should you do? (purpose)
hmmm? i think this one cannot come to you, unless you have figured out the other 3.
What must you do? (need)
Pay Bills, Save, Buy a home, Payoff truck, Get Health Ins, Build Nest Egg
Good exercise, but only those with self-knowlegde will be able to partake and take it further. I personally feel that with the right partner and just a tiny bit of success my way, i would be able to propel myself farther and move continously. I am not greedy or omni-ambitious, i satisfy easily. Action, action, action is what i need and cajones.
I am posting the exercise I did for exploration of my purpose - I welcome any comments or insights you wonderful people may have!
What do you WANT to do? (desire) Be around people that think like I do, like at the yoga retreat I went to. Self-discovery and helping others discover themselves. Spread kindness and inspire others to do the same. Be in nature every single day. Live from my soul all the time. Something that involves continued learning about the self, the human condition, and then applying it to life. Promote holistic health. Connecting body with mind and soul. Living from the inside out and doing that with others who have the same desire. Live through my intuition all the time. Transcend ego. Connect with others, develop relationships that cultivate spirit. Grow with others. Acquire money effortlessly. Live by abundance and show others they can do the same! Remembering who I am and helping others to do soso that they can live by the Way.
What CAN you do? (abilities) I can make people laugh! I am good at connecting with others, developing rapport, talking to people, being with them in that moment. I can write. I am detailed, organized, and specific. I have knowledge of the body - anatomy, physiology. I am an occupational therapist and have a masters degree in this. I am good at math. Self-aware. Intuitive.
What SHOULD you do? (purpose)Live a purposeful life. Do what I came here to do and see. Live in joy. Discover my light, help others to discover their light without RULES. Live my truth.
What MUST you do? I must do something I am passionate about in order for energy to run through my being. My sould must shine through in everything I do. It must involve connection to the Universe, it must involve connecting with souls. It must be flexible and challenging.
I can, I gotta, I want to, I'm on it.
Hi, all (& Hi Erin!):
I just had a reading yesterday with Erin - fantastic, anyone who's thinking about getting one should go for it - and it was totally pivotal with regards to plunking me down onto the path of making a living that's a life.
I have a blog that I've been writing for the past two and a half years, just for my own great pleasure and enjoyment. I'd never seriously considered it as an avenue to earn a living. I mean, it was just too fun! Too much freedom, too great an artistic outlet, too lighthearted an endeavor.
But Erin - after informing me that an enormous pile of guides were demanding that I get pregnant again without fail - asked if I ever wrote anything funny, and I said that I did. My blog. And she said, essentially, there you go. That's it. Write as though you were writing for a million people. Write about parenting and make it funny. And this will matter for people.
What a surprise, what a joy, and how out-of-left-field!
And when I break it down:
What do you WANT to do: I want to be creative. I want to write, design, act, make art. I want to make people happy, touch them, make them laugh and think and feel.
What CAN you do: I can write. I can act. I can make people laugh. I can empathize with people. I can make visual art and use color well. I have an innate understanding of comedy, and I have comedy-making experience. I'm open, an open book.
What SHOULD you do: I should uplift people, make their lives easier and lighter and more delightful. I should do what comes easily, what melts like butter in my hand. I should be happy, and add my happy energy to the planet's energies. I should live in harmony with the pull of my heart, to add to the groundswell of others doing likewise.
What MUST you do: I must be absolutely true to myself. I must eschew conforming to other's ideas of success or seriousness. I must follow my intuition and do what makes me breathe more easily. I must use the basket of pleasurable talents I came down here with. Also, apparently I must have another child.
And there you go. Making my blog snuggles up to all four categories. I can do basically anything with it I like. Writing, visual art - with podcasts and videos, I could even perform if I wanted. I'm my own boss. And I can work at home and be with my children.
It's remarkable that this was sitting under my nose this whole time. I'm delighted that Erin pointed it out to me. And it feels strange and humming and great to be suddenly on purpose like this.
Thanks, Erin! And good luck, everyone, living out your purposes with joy!
Also...SAY. What, uh, what are you doing right now? Oh, just browsing these forums? Mmm. Hey...you could...stop by my blog if you wanted to! You know, if you're free or whatever. I totally wouldn't mind.
It's The Gallivanting Monkey. It's a personal blog, with a newly-minted focus on parenting, but it has and will always have any other kind of funny or charming content I declare bloggable.
I just totally wouldn't mind at all,
P.S. I'd actually sort of be into it.
P.P.S. I'd have been a clown, right, not to mention it? The wrong kind of clown.
The how is not your problem. The goal is.
Keep your desired goal in mind, hold an expectation that it will be. When all these "Problems" and worries come to mind, simply tell yourself - "There has to be a way". What that way is exactly isn't for you to worry about, just hold to your intention, see yourself in that place you desire to be and the path will be made for you.
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