Need help overcoming few issues.

[Angelwings]

So here it goes. There are few negative things i dont like about myself:


I have a tendency of focusing too much on people and not minding my own business. I like to compare myself to others to measure my progression.
I know its bad but i cant help it.Here are few example: My grades, my looks, friendship, job, clothes, boyfriend and so on.
Whenever, I came across people that have more than me, I get SO JEALOUS , unhappy and mad. Often i think Its UNFAIR and so on.
Does anyone know how to overcome this level of competitivenss and this bad attitude of wishing love seeing people fall over>?
Moreover, i have a tendency to want to be someone else but me and a great tendency of imagining other people have a happier more fulfilling interesting life than me.

Secondly, I dont like working HARD to get things.For example, when i m working. I thought to myself:"If i marry a wealthy guy or date one, then I dont have to work anymore." " well if i hang out with them, they can help me in lab so i ll have less work to do. "
I m very lazy. I like things easy. I m afraid of HARDWORK coz i dont believe i m able and it could take a long time to get the end result.
Its too painful too much work and DISCIPLINE, I feel WEAK.
So, i procrastinate alot... pity myself for not meeting my standards and thus I daydream alot hoping prince charming to come save me and motivate me, fix me and things would be ok.


I m expecting few critisism. I m expecting response like GROW UP! YOU'RE AN ADULT! Physically, i m an adult but inside I m still trap in like a child wanting to be protected by my parents and people.
I cant stand being ALONE..I m not very good at doing things by myself coz then I feel lonely, sad and deprived. Moreover, I seek for company to carry actions/goals.

How on earth do i transform being a CHILD TO ADULT??
Being an adult means be able to be independent be able to enjoy own company, and not feel deprived/lonely when u are alone,
stay focus, have an aim/goal in life.
I ve none of these criteria. I dont find Adult life fun, i rather much prefer stuck in childhood with nothing to worry, no aim but just go out and play.Mindless!
I conclude, I m not an adult I m still a child.

Where do i begin? what is being an ADULT?

[Zukin]

Hi Angelwings, I'll try to tackle these issues one at a time and see if I can help.

1. To help overcome what other people think of you, this article by Steve is one of the best:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...-think-of-you/

2. To deal with jealousy of other people who have more than you, one of the best ways to deal with those feelings are to get so busy working on projects you enjoy that you don't have time to think about what other people are getting or doing.

3. Instead of working hard, why not try doing something you can get excited about? Then it won't feel like hard work. If your current job doesn't excite you, change jobs and keep changing until you find one that does. Not all jobs require "hard work" anyway. There are jobs where people end up sitting around all day and doing nothing 90 percent of the time. Plus, most wives of wealthy men end up getting bored so they start working anyway. They usually help charities, but they also start businesses sometimes too.

4. Here's a secret about adulthood: most adults have the same flaws as children, but they're just better at hiding them.

5. Work can be play too, especially because there are probably lots of jobs (or businesses to start) related to what you enjoy.

[Christian223]

Hi, i think you could use EFT to get rid of those limiting beliefs, try also Doing TAT, for more info visit EFT Provides Impressive Health and Emotional Freedom--New Discovery Often Works Where Nothing Else and for some videos go to Tapping.com - Free EFT Videos - Emotional Freedom Technique, dont be decieved by how weird and ridiculous it looks, it still works and it helped lots of people.

You could try EFT with phrases like "even though i am weak to do things by myself, i deeply and completely accept myself.", "even though i feel like a child, i deeply and completely accept myself", focus on the feelings you get when you think about your problem.

Do you have no goals in life, a dream maybe?, i have a couple of dreams, i want to be an artist, a painter, i want to play the electric guitar, i want to make video games, i want to be a great person, those are goals, maybe you have some too, or, try searching in Steve Pavlinas blogs for help on how to find life purpose or goals.

Good luck.

[NotesMaeve]

Girl Ann, when you have things you're truly proud of, that stuff ceases to matter. You fall in love with the process of the effort it takes. For me, I adore searchng for those awesome bargain clothes no one else has. My Slamhot Boy? I LIKED working for his attention, and when I was the positive, well-dressed, educated woman I was, it wasn't hard. Love the process of looking for that really fabulous $15 shirt. Love the process of education. Love the process of before you even know who someone is, via email or on the phone, getting those little hints into their mind.

Today Slamhot sends me an MRI scan of his brain to my work email, for example. I am probably one of the few women who would think this is "beautiful" or interesting. But I do, and I enjoy it. It's learning to live in the moment. And when you learn to love the moment and be positive, that's when the positive things snowball: You start dating the guy you're so proud to be with, you finally get that really hot Venexiana dress, you get a job with great health insurance, you move to that apartment with free-roaming chickens in the backyard, and all those things blur together because they're all good, but at the end of the day you can look at them and be satisfied and grateful, and know if all that material stuff was gone tomorrow, it's okay.

[ericwordelman]

Hi Angel.

I wouldn't worry about it too much. Being an "adult" is one of the most overused Universal roles the ego likes to play. All it is is another role for your ego to invest itself in. Eckart Tolle would say, "Just be." Trust me other "adults" aren't having much fun playing that role. And about the work- Once you find something that truly inspires you you are going to want to do it more and more and more. The line between too much and not wanting to do anything at all will disappear because you'll enjoy what it is that you are doing so much that you hope and pray you get more of it.

I think this point comes through a lot of introspection especially of ones vision of their life. If you're truly doing something that is congruent with Who You Want To Be then their never will be an issue of having someone else do the work for you.

I can relate on the procrastination issue. I've only got several hours of sleep in the past 48 hours and maybe you're not pushing yourself hard enough. Sometimes if I slip up I find myself not pushing myself to my limits. Yet when I'm pushing myself to my limits it's much more fun and interesting seeing myself hit these psychological walls and really see what I'm made of.

Maybe try a new diet or something new.