Overcoming depression, asking for help

[Kazeko]

Dear friends,

I need your help. I've grown and raised my awareness a lot. I felt better and better, enjoying my growth... until my awareness was raised enough to realize the "deep and hidden truth" about myself.

One of my friends (the best friend, in fact) told me that I'm very strong on surface, but my core is weak and unstable. And it's totally true.

I had many difficult situations since my childhood till adolescence. And they influenced me deeply. To tell it simple and fast - I have some negativity deep inside me. And (as I realize now) I tried to forget it. And succeeded. So, I upgraded myself a lot, enjoyed it, thought "now I'm a different person" and so on.

But recently (thanks to my best friend again) I've experienced massive growth and raise of awareness in the short period of time. And it became clear about that truth. This hidden negativity always holds me back. Stops my growth. Pushes me to self-sabotage my efforts uncounsciously. And this negativity is really "deep inside my core"... since childhood. I think the details (my reactions to certain situations) are not necessary to describe here.

That experience weakened me. And I fell into depression. Now I need help, love and support. And I kindly ask all of you for it. If you don't have any advice, please, do something anyway. Hold an intention to help me to resolve my inner conflicts. Say some words of support. I will appreciate any help.

I'm going to visit a psychotherapist, so the professional could help me to dig out those negative patterns and to deal with them intelligently. Now it's the only way I see as a solution.

[Old Soul]

I once told my therapist I felt like an egg that had cracked open... and that the contents were rotton... she said that is fine now that we know what is there we can clean it up

I said thankyou for letting me trust you with my contents*,, as it is me and it is all i have :-)

I believe in you and I know you will make it through this process of self discovery!!

[NotesMaeve]

You'll get it. Keep hammering away at it day by day.

Don't be afraid of your feelings. When you learn to accept your feelings as they come, they pass quicker. I had a brief moment of fear last night. I looked it in the face and I felt better. It's then repression that's killer.

[Maguru]

The most common notion of negativity is not good. It doesn't feel good. It stops us in our tracks. It pulls us down and frightens the life out of us but have you ever wondered if it has actually been the making of you?

Have your painful experiences, that left scars, given you gifts you would not otherwise have had? Gifts of empathy, understanding and reason to change?

Could the inner part of you (that you think of as weak) be your vulnerable side that has actually bore all your pain and is the strongest part of you?

Your suffering is not in vain. It is a part of who you are.

[coLLege kid07]

Try this Get a New Leash on Life
or check out steve's article on overcoming depression.

[dulaney0330]

My heart goes out to you. I wish you my hope and prayers to you as you continue in your road to recovery!

I have struggled with depression and in addition to the above posters, I will say that you have the ability to change and to heal. I used to think that I just didn't have the talent or the strength to become the person that I wanted to be. I always felt so inadequate and inferior, but persistence and endurance will more than likely bring you recovery, joy, peace, hope, and self-love.


* Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan "press on" has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
John Calvin Coolidge