Trusting oneself

[Sworn]

Hey,


As one goes through the many shapes and forms of personal development, it becomes hard to pinpoint the issue, as in being able to have a sentence that describes the issue best.

Here's the one I've been chewing on for a bit and I like it: I have my head up in the clouds I'm a dreamer. Getting my feat on the ground/things done is the hardest thing.

The gap between taking action and what I need to get done and what my dreams are is so big, that taking action is very very very unmotivating to me.

What I read about IR's is very interesting. It simply means that my IR's that represent my goals are totally out of whack/unaligned. My top IR (goal) and my lower IR's (immediate actions) seem from different planets.

Why I put this in emotional mastery. Taking action is very draining emotionally. Doing anything actually. I lose everything, documents ID cards, keys, bank cards on a continual basis. Damage control, damage control, damage control.

And I do think it all has to do with trust: I can't trust myself that if I set out to do something I won't fvk up.
I also can't trust deep within myself (I want to believe this very hard though) that taking small steps of action is going to take me to my goals.

I know, learing to accept myself. Just accept the situation. Going all spiritual. That is kindof keeping me sane actually. But the actual achievement/goal setting part .... Don't know man.

Haven't seen anyone in my own life really pull it off either. The gap between guru stuff that I read and what I see around me.


Phew needed it off my chest.

Thanks.

[Life Warrior]

Don't beat yourself down so much. You have to start somewhere, but you won't be able to get all the stuff you want done overnight. Start with achieving small things and build up confidence.

I also have a problem sometimes with daydreaming and thinking about random stuff instead of doing someting useful instead. I try to to get around it by constantly asking myself, "what am I doing right now? what is the purpose of my current action? will this action/non-action benefit me with developing myself into the best that I can be?"

That type of thinking will start to give you a perspective if you're really wasting your time or not. Sometimes daydreaming and non-action is as vital as action and getting stuff done. But the key here is awareness and responsibility for your every action of your every moment. When you honestly answer this question to yourself, you can start aligning your beliefs about what's right with the actions that will help you get there.

Another trick from Steve that helped me very much is to concentrate on one action at a time and nothing else, until you are finished. Seriously, after you realize that you want to do this thing for yourself, commit to it with all your being and do nothing else.

Hope this helps, and good luck.

[Wit and Itch]

Some people are not meant to be practical achievers. Some of us are meant to be dreamers, like J.K. Rowling.
Write your dreams down.

[Jason S]

1. Progress towards a goal is never linear--it's always a few steps forward, then a couple back. Sometimes b/c you yourself forget things or screw things up, sometimes because momentum flags, and sometimes for reasons beyond your control. But that's no reason not to start!

So go ahead, screw up a little. Forget things. Dream. Trust yourself to continue to be walking black hole when it comes to your car keys. So what? As long as you're kicking yourself in the butt every day to do SOMETHING to move toward that big goal of yours--even if you don't have the motivation to do something about it every day--you'll make progress (most days)... until eventually you'll turn around and say, "Wow, I'm a lot further than I realized... not sure how I got here, but there's no turning around now!" Progress isn't about trust, it's about action. Proof. Momentum. Stop thinking and start MOVING.

I ran the Chicago Triathlon a few years ago, and I missed plenty of workouts en route to that goal. I had conflicting priorities, I overslept, I had too much work, I ate too late, the pool was closed, etc. But I also made it to a lot of workouts... enough to ensure that I still crossed the finish line. I never trusted myself to make all the workouts. I didn't need to. I only needed to trust myself to achieve my goal, and to know that the workouts were the stepping stones to that goal. The rest took care of itself.

2. Of course, one of the reasons you can't get your feet on the ground could be that your big dreams, while interesting, don't stoke your fire. And if that's the case, you have a decision to make: either to plant your flag, so to speak, and say "Right or wrong, I'm going for this," or to abandon the idea all together and keep searching. Because really, even the best ideas are a dime a dozen. They only gain value when you do something with them.