How do you get rid of emotional baggage?

[Bitsy]

Hello,

I just resolved that I have to get rid of the emotional baggage I still have and have had all my life once and for all. I have one enormous and deeply rooted problem which I think has manifested me the most painful and traumatic relationship experiences. I have gone to therapists, psychologists etc. and spent roughtly 15 years psychoanalyzing myself to try to dissect my problems. None of that had any permanent effect, if any at all. There is an unbearable amount of pain associated with this problem and its original source is an utter mystery to me. Moreover, the subject matter of this issue is awfully personal, in my opinion.

If anyone has an effective way to permanently shed emotional baggage from the past, a way I could implement by myself, please let me know. Or if anyone could help me somehow...I don't know, I'm at a loss.

Thanks.

P.S. As I reread what I wrote, I could feel the pain, but at the same time, I could feel something in me that was thinking, "it doesn't really matter, you're ok now" - as if I was looking at myself feeling the pain and saying "but you're fine now" and also thinking to myself sort of "quit dramatizing now and listen to me, there's no issue". I can't explain that really, but if I could harness that feeling, become it, and somehow and by that means get rid of this emotional issue permanently, it would be so great, and it seems a lot easier than spending hours or longer discussing the details of the issue itself. But what is the feeling and how to harness it and will it go away again? I don't like "Band-Aid" solutions that only leave the problem source and the problem resurfaces when the Band-Aid falls off.

To be realistic, for the time-being I could brush off the issue (which I have been doing prior to now anyway), but its nature requires much more than saying "I'm fine right now, so there's no issue". The time will come when I have to take a stance about it, so that is the problem with the above-mentioned approach.

[Angela]

I highly recommend the Landmark Forum and Advanced Course. Changed my life in an instant.

[Sunnybayes]

Originally Posted by Bitsy

P.S. As I reread what I wrote, I could feel the pain, but at the same time, I could feel something in me that was thinking, "it doesn't really matter, you're ok now" - as if I was looking at myself feeling the pain and saying "but you're fine now" and also thinking to myself sort of "quit dramatizing now and listen to me, there's no issue". I can't explain that really, but if I could harness that feeling, become it, and somehow and by that means get rid of this emotional issue permanently, it would be so great, and it seems a lot easier than spending hours or longer discussing the details of the issue itself.

Here's the neuroscience of why that happened when you wrote it down, and why discussing the emotions helps:
Neuroscience says: to feel better, write to these forums

[Gene]

Originally Posted by Sunnybayes

Here's the neuroscience of why that happened when you wrote it down, and why discussing the emotions helps:
Neuroscience says: to feel better, write to these forums

Writing has been a significant part of my journey. I know when I start writing it helps bring clarity to my issue of the moment and ultimately to my life. It works for me and when I see someone who is temporarily lost I recommend writing as one of the steps to positive change.

Writing on a regular basis helps me identify areas which emerge as things to address. For me, it is a commitment to continuing to live the best life I am capable of living.

[Laranja]

I second the posting about writing. Keeping a journal and writing it all out, day by day. The process is well explained in Julie Cameron's book "The Artists way" which I highly recommend. Don't let you fool by the title though. The book is meant for artists stuck in theire creative process, but it works well outside that context. PLus, mybe you are an artist and didn't knew it yet
I think there is a more general version of the book ou therer called "the morning pages".

Other than that, Steve Pavlina has a product out about journaling.... Hey Steve, maybe you could step in here with a posting about the therapeutic aspects of journaling...

The Landmark courses. I dunno. I have heard good and bad things about that. My guess: It works good for people who are more into this kind of stuff. More robust and able to experiment with theire psyches.

[Peleke4]

I recommend NLP.

[tylerlloyd]

Let me recommend some pratical solutions:

Go out and find a new hobby. Collecting cards, playing video games, skateboarding, iceskating, tango, bungee jumping, speed dating, whatever.

You need to get your mind off of the baggage. How can you get rid of it if you're always carrying it around?

Also, don't talk to people about it anymore. You've done psychoanalysis for 15 years and obviously that's not working, so let's try something new. I don't know if you're in a relationship, but if you're not, find someone to fall in love with. Just keep the baggage out of it though, out of consideration for the other person.

Lastly, don't try to fix this buy buying a hundred self-help books and audio tapes. You might think all you need is a little "inspiration" to get you going - it's not. Don't delude yourself by thinking you can change your life just by reading books. Go out and do something.

Good luck!

[Amandaaa]

i agree with everyone else....
writing has helped me purge every emotion imaginable.
i've been through a lot of painful experiences throughout the past few years, and i really think that writing every night is what helped me move forward.

it's like you're releasing all the messy emotions, cleaning out the clutter, pacifying those feelings, and paving the way for new ones.
when you let it all out onto paper (or the computer ), you go to sleep at night feeling so much more at peace.
and the biggest advantage is that you've already mentally constructed an idea of how you're going to handle the situation. whether it's something that's already over and done with, or a lingering problem, writing can still help you construct an internal plan about how to deal with the issue and get on with your life.
it's like brainstorming.




also, i don't know if you're an artistic person... but painting and drawing have always helped me, too.
it's like a catharsis. i put on some mellow music, get out a blank canvas, and paint until there's nothing left inside of me to paint out.
the ugliest emotions create the most beautiful masterpieces. pain is a great experience. feeling "broken" is the best.

any form of art is therapeutic for me, actually.
even if it's something as simple as a collage. or photography.
...anything that represents the way that you're feeling inside.



good luck.
if you ever want to talk about what's bothering you, you can PM me.

[Sworn]

Originally Posted by Amandaaa

feeling "broken" is the best.

Ah man that just cracks me up!. Speaking of it's funny because it's true!
Like "yeah dude Feeling like ♥♥♥♥♥ is the new Feeling Awesome! Everyone's into feeling empty which kicks ass until you've tried feeling broken"

I'm totally with u amandaaa I figured having this typed might sound like I'm making fun of what you're saying but I'm not.

[Amandaaa]

haha. i'm serious.

i used to think that it was such a miserable experience, and then one day i was like, "this is amazing." ...in a tragically beautiful sort of way...

i'm just glad that i had the chance to feel something so intense. it's definitely better than never having that experience.

and i'm a better person now because of it.


(plus, it's true... "dark" emotions really do create the best art. )