Oversensitive, and way too emotional..

[lemon]

Hello everybody,

Any advice any of you could offer would be very much appreciated. Basically my story is that i'm incredibly insecure and very sensitive. My emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster and i don't quite know how to stop it... im just so moody all the time, and i sometimes FREAK OUT for no reason. And there are times when i just get so sad and disappointed in myself because i know i'm just reacting so badly.. i just get so stressed out sometimes and i feel like EVERYTHING pisses me off.. and i hate that.. i just want to be happy and i know that sounds trite, but i feel like i'm hardly ever in a good mood. I'm so needy too..my fiance is great but i know my crazy emotions are taking a toll on him too... i just cry sometimes and i don't even know why..it's just because i FEEL sad...

my sudden outbursts seem uncontrollable..especially if we're in a middle of an argument i cannot control my anger.. i just get more and more upset... and i am so sensitive to HOW anyone says somethign to me, or how they make me feel... i grew up in a home where fighting happened daily... and i wonder how that affected me?...

Does any body have any good book recommendations??

Let me know!

[Red Willow]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I'm kind of the same way. I always joke that I am an "emotional open wound." I can't even watch an upsetting movie without bawling. As for your emotions, being emotional is not always a bad thing. But your irritability and anger probably do need to be addressed. I can't speak to the many things going on in your life that may influence how to feel on a day to day basis. Stress, health, relationships all impact how you feel.

To get started, this may sound trite, but make sure you're getting enough exercise and nutrients. Sometimes, vitamin deficiencies can show up in mood swings. Omega 3's can help with mood swings too. Beyond that, it might behoove you to see a therapist or someone who can help you get to the root of your sadness and weeping.

Best of luck to you!

[karlos768]

hey there,

I was very much the same as you a year or so bak, and its easy for me to slip back in to that pit of infinate low self estem, or lack of assertiveness, but i went through a massive personal development stage, as well as using self help books i used a book by a hypnotist accompanied my a mind programming c.d, i never felt hypnotized but the power of the combination suggestion and n.l.p is an amazing and compelling force.

The book is " Confidence by paul Mckenna " and i highly recomend it.

One thing that really struck a chord with me was a section commenting on how wen we feel like this we are only strengthning those negative nuerological pathways, you will therefore enforce the habituation that is a negative psychological state, in other words practice makes perfect so the more u make yourself happy using whatever techniques you wish to employ other than substance abuse of course, it goes with out saying.

If you requrie any more reccomendations or even examples of techniques that i have used and favoured, feel free to send me a p.m.

hope this has helped

peace karlos

[karlos768]

and of course as red willow says nutrition can be a key factor

Originally Posted by Red Willow

To get started, this may sound trite, but make sure you're getting enough exercise and nutrients. Sometimes, vitamin deficiencies can show up in mood swings. Omega 3's can help with mood swings too. Beyond that, it might behoove you to see a therapist or someone who can help you get to the root of your sadness and weeping.
!

[Maguru]

Hi, this story could be mine with a little variation. I came on this forum with the same intention. I wake up crying most mornings and find myself near to despair everywhere I look. I believe our emotions are the symptoms of our vulnerability that stems from childhood trauma.
Have you been the peace maker in your family? Does it hurt you when there is conflict? Are you angered by injustice? Do you feel more sensitive to these things than others? Do you feel dismissed or not understood when you try to explain?
The problem is within and so is the solution but I haven't got there yet. However, I do accept my vulnerable self as it is the biggest part of me. I do not tell myself I am over sensitive. From where I am standing it is 'insensitivity' to others feelings that create conflict. I allow myself to feel anger but I don't vent it. I sit with it and rant and rave inside my head. Anger is a defensive mechanism meant to stop you being hurt. Sitting with it reveals the core of the pain.
I would never judge my emotions as crazy. Out of control, maybe but not crazy. We are spiritual feeling beings and this is being human. Everything pisses me off too but maybe there is good reason that none vulnerable people cannot relate to?
The first step would be in not blaming others for your emotions even if it is true. They are your emotions and only you can take care of them.
I do believe we are experiencing spiritual awakenening and it is painful. These forums are the only outlet I have and am so grateful for todays technology that is supporting me through this. It is a wonderful place to support each other as strangers. Stay with it and lets see if we can turn this around. Blessings.

Originally Posted by lemon

Hello everybody,

Any advice any of you could offer would be very much appreciated. Basically my story is that i'm incredibly insecure and very sensitive. My emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster and i don't quite know how to stop it... im just so moody all the time, and i sometimes FREAK OUT for no reason. And there are times when i just get so sad and disappointed in myself because i know i'm just reacting so badly.. i just get so stressed out sometimes and i feel like EVERYTHING pisses me off.. and i hate that.. i just want to be happy and i know that sounds trite, but i feel like i'm hardly ever in a good mood. I'm so needy too..my fiance is great but i know my crazy emotions are taking a toll on him too... i just cry sometimes and i don't even know why..it's just because i FEEL sad...

my sudden outbursts seem uncontrollable..especially if we're in a middle of an argument i cannot control my anger.. i just get more and more upset... and i am so sensitive to HOW anyone says somethign to me, or how they make me feel... i grew up in a home where fighting happened daily... and i wonder how that affected me?...

Does any body have any good book recommendations??

Let me know!

[geekchic9]

You sound like me when I am depressed.

Nutrition and exercise are great things. Most people don't realize that what they get out of their bodies is a result of what you are putting into it. In the same way, avoid alcohol and street drugs, because they alter the way your brain processes things and moods. You do not need to drink or smoke right now.

Also, finding a support group and a behavioral therapist would be a good thing. I'm not recommending medication, at least not yet. It's more important to figure out how to get you out of this mess right now.

[lemon]

thanks for all the advice...as for nutrition that side of it is all good for me... i'm actually in the health industry so i eat very well and at times i can be lazy with exercise but for the most part i'm pretty good with it..

I am very sure that the reason i am so sensitive is because of the environment i grew up in..there was tons of fighting, and that's how i deal with arguments. The way that my family dealt with things is just by fighting.. and screaming..and not listening to each other... all my life i've felt like they never understood me... i was always the "bad" one in the family when in reality i sincerely wasn't doing anythign wrong.. we're an asian family , although i've never been to asia..my parents are very traditional and I am not. They've always looked down on me and compared me to their friends children wondering why i couldn't just be like them. It was so frustrating because i just never felt accepted... and nothing I did was ever good enough.. so now when i'm having an argument with my fiance, i get so defensive because wiht my family i was ALWAYS on the defense. and i guess it's just hard for me to let go of what i used to know, and treat my fiance like a different person. I shouldn' treact the way i do with him..becuase he hasn't given me a reason to feel defensive.. i just feel like i always have to prove my point and re-explain everything about how i feel because i fear he doestn' understand me... i hate feeling ignored... and i'm constantly seeking reassurance and validation in him... because i never got it from my parents... and believe me, i'm not trying to sound like the victim.. i'm just trying to figure out why i am the way that i am, and how i can change... my emotions just seem so uncontrollable.. i can't HELP feeling so needy for attention and for acceptance and love... i don't know what to do...

[create purpose]

anger and outbursts are a reaction when you are fed up with being out of control. For example, when your plans are changed beyond your control or you are just sick of your current situaiton. it is a clue that a different way of functioning is an immediate need. like einstein said, doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity, don't go back to your childhood, or over analyze yourself, just live your life, (i am speaking from my own experience)

[johnths]

HI Lemon, you are right... what you are now, how you behave... may be traced back to the enivironment you are in. Having said that, it does not mean that you should be bound by it.

I encourage you to spend more time alone, perhaps at the beach or at a quiet park and quietly reflect what have been happening and how you could manage it. Do not rationalise or justify your outbursts, or they remain unsolved. Each time you get fired up, and you are about to scream, walk away from the scene immediately - this is definitely one way to cool yourself. If you remain at the scene, you will definitely burst, and again regret over it.

And as I quote from the Bible, "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry (Ephesians 2: 26)", it simply means that you try your best to cool down and talk about it to the other party, resolve the problem before going to bed at the end of the day. In essence, if you go to sleep with a heavy heart, you wake up feeling lousy and the unhappiness remains...

Well, we are all in the same boat... there would be times when we can't control ourselves and we burst. But strive on, to become better each time you lose youself,, ya? I actually wrote about "managing my upsetness"

Managing my upsetness « Training, Engaging the Adult Learners

Feel free to read it. Take care...


JT
Training, Engaging the Adult Learners

[Sunnybayes]

Take a look at this post:
Neuroscience says: to feel better, write to these forums

[knitwitty]

Hi. There could be another reason entirely for this problem. I was plagued by the same problems as you for many years. In fact, I was diagnosed as bipolar & took medications for 8 years that did nothing to help me. It was last summer that an excellent psychiatrist gave me a diagnosis of toxic anger syndrome. I had never learned to properly express my emotions, especially anger, but would bottle them up until I would explode over something completely trivial & my reaction would be completely out of proportion to the incident! I suggest strongly that you look into this possibility as it has changed my life completely. Getting off the drugs was difficult, I went to a psychiatric wing for help with this & with learning new responses to situations I had never been able to cope with. I hope you will try this, & let me know if it helps!

[lizthefair]

I think one or two other people also suggested this, but I really second the idea of seeing a therapist-- even if it's just once or twice as an evaluation. I know exactly what you mean by the emotional roller coaster--and feeling out of control in regards to your emotions. For me it's often triggered by stress or change and I've learned now to recognize that the emotion I am feeling is out of balance with the actual situation and just ride it out (which is different from fighting it or ignoring it). But without training that is really hard. Also, sometimes it's not about will power or being a better person, it's just a chemical unbalance--and only a professional can help you decide which it is for you.

[artic123]

I cry at news stories, books, tv programs you name it. I am also sensitive how people treat me. BUT I realize this is my problem. What I do is: read over and over again and again the FOUR AGREEMENTS (take nothing personally, it is not about you), exercise, and stay away from sugar.

I also journal if it keeps me up at night. This is my problem and not the other person's and it is my responsibility to find ways to channel, this unwanted energy.

I hope this helps, of course I really feel for you.

Artic

[European38]

God what a coincidence I read this post because I too am over emotional and highly sensitive person. I went today to buy something but the shop I was looking for was closed so I strolled into a book shop to ahev a browse. The first book I saw was the four agreements a book I had never heard of and the first page I opened was don't take things personally. I am having a really upsetting time trying to deal with bullying in the workplace and it is effecting my self esteem and confidence. Im trying to deal with it by realising that it's not about me it's about the bullies but I was having trouble grasping the concept. Needless to say I bought the book and read the chapter on not taking responsibility for other peoples behavior and straight away I felt better. I felt like someone was looking out for me when they made me go in and look for at that chapter!

[dulaney0330]

Originally Posted by lemon

Hello everybody,

Any advice any of you could offer would be very much appreciated. Basically my story is that i'm incredibly insecure and very sensitive. My emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster and i don't quite know how to stop it... im just so moody all the time, and i sometimes FREAK OUT for no reason. And there are times when i just get so sad and disappointed in myself because i know i'm just reacting so badly.. i just get so stressed out sometimes and i feel like EVERYTHING pisses me off.. and i hate that.. i just want to be happy and i know that sounds trite, but i feel like i'm hardly ever in a good mood. I'm so needy too..my fiance is great but i know my crazy emotions are taking a toll on him too... i just cry sometimes and i don't even know why..it's just because i FEEL sad...

my sudden outbursts seem uncontrollable..especially if we're in a middle of an argument i cannot control my anger.. i just get more and more upset... and i am so sensitive to HOW anyone says somethign to me, or how they make me feel... i grew up in a home where fighting happened daily... and i wonder how that affected me?...

Does any body have any good book recommendations??

Let me know!

I am sorry that you have been having a very difficult and painful time for quite a while. It sounds like you are very discouraged, frustrated, a bit confused, and a little worried over your behavior. Generally, our emotions may change a bit throughout the day and this is normal. However, when an individual's emotions (especially anger) are very uncontrollable, severe and durable there needs to be some resolve.

From just reading your post, it sounds like the description of borderline personality disorder. I am not a professional but I have researched the topic many times (for a paper I did in college) and SOME of the things you said sound similar to disorder. I am just throwing that out there and I just want to state it is simply my opinion of what I read from your post.

It sounds to me like there are some serious symptoms that you are experiencing and I would suggest seeing a professional. There is a reason why you are feeling the way you do and there is something that can be done about it.

Good luck and I wish you much peace, joy, and love!