Generalized Anxiety Disorder - most vague diagnosis ever?

[sketchygirl]

Hi. I'm new here and I thought maybe some smart, logical people could give me some insight on this. (Sorry for the length, I just want to vent)

I'm 24 and I consider myself one of the most self-aware people I know. The problem is, I think my view of myself and my abilities is a little skewed and my internal dialogue is rather destructive. Themes keep cropping up, a strong fear of abandonment, mistrust of others, doubting myself, etc, etc. If I think about them, I KNOW why I feel this way, but being aware of the source doesn't seem to prevent me from FEELING so horrible.

After struggling on my own, reading stupid self-help books about "life in your twenties" (It's a Beautiful Lie, The Twenty-Something Crisis - ha) I finally made the decision to go to a psychiatrist and seek some medical help.

It was pretty frightening that, after only about 45 minutes of simple questions, he diagnosed me with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" and sent me along my merry way with a brand new prescription for Lexapro and Ativan.

I took the stuff for about 40 days and I guess I felt a little better, but mostly I just felt pathetic for taking meds because I know that I'm a stronger person than this. I pitched them, now a month later I feel horrible again. I also couldn't help but feeling it was a bit of the "magic feather" phenomenon and I was tricking myself.

I feel stuck, restless, tormented and just generally unhappy. I've been noticing that the more unhappy I feel, the more I do strange things like rearrange furniture, closets, etc. When I do this I feel soothed, but then feel guilt for not being productive or doing something useful with my time.

I guess I come from a (sort of) objectivist school of thought where my work (art) needs to be at the forefront of my life. Everything that I'm feeling is disagreeing with what I believe my personal philosophy is. I know I'm procrastinating, I know I'm scared and I can't really "get over the hump" so to speak. From an objectivist point of view, the fact that I'm so tied in with my own emotions right now is obviously my downfall. (OBVIOUSLY...)

I guess what I'm wondering is this: has anyone beaten a mental illness without drugs, through their own willpower, and sucessfully. I really do not think drugs are an option for me, but I'm having a lot of trouble figuring out what is a real, and what is my own self destructive voice.

[Michael Clyde]

I think everybody has some degree of what we label a "mental disorder," and this degree fluxuates to different magnitudes over time. I know several people who visited psychologists and psychiatrists, and most of the time they were nothing more than an ear or a drug dealer. The exception that I have seen in my small world was prescribing drugs to inhibit violence in a couple of distant and not so distant relatives. The drug did not cure, as it did control the violence.

In my personal experience, I have had mild OCD and anxiety on two separate stints in life. In my early twenties, I would check the stove 10 or so times after cooking dinner to make sure it was turned off, or make sure my door was locked in the evening before bed several times. This behavior subsided after finding my future wife, and the behavior never returned. In my early teens, I used to have huge fears that somebody was going to break in my house and do horrible things. Every little sound would pump fear in me and I would lie awake for hours at night. One night, I just felt totally fed up with these feelings that I would rather let "it" happen and die than to jump out of bed with fear. By forcing myself to stay put end endure the fear one night without my usual reactions, I virtually cured myself overnight. These days, my wife gets mad at me when she hears something at night and I don't get up to investigate. I have absolutely no worries concerning intruders anymore.

Basically, some sort of personal change helped me. I've seen some change in other people that helped them. Everybody is different, and I believe there is something for you. I hope that I could provide some value, other than you are not alone in dealing with personal idiosyncrasy. Good luck with your development.

[nightdiamond]

Hi Sketchygirl, now that you're aware of your problems your second step is to become aware of how you talk to yourself, your SELF TALK. Even if you've read it all before, starting now just "listen" to what you say to yourself.

Know what? When you say to yourself you already know what you do wrong, you already know your problems but you never do anything about them, that is an example of negative self talk? It's only going to make you feel worse! That's when you go to the next step, the 2nd step, you reject them and do something!

Like "Ok STOP! I'm tired of this, this time I WILL do............." Everytime you hear or feel yourself thinking that, just respond the same way. You have to reject those thoughts then actually do something.

You've already done that.
For example, those thoughts made you so tired, you in some way said enough, and then took action and went to a psychiatrist.

What do you think?

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by sketchygirl

It was pretty frightening that, after only about 45 minutes of simple questions, he diagnosed me with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder" and sent me along my merry way with a brand new prescription for Lexapro and Ativan.

I took the stuff for about 40 days and I guess I felt a little better, but mostly I just felt pathetic for taking meds because I know that I'm a stronger person than this. I pitched them, now a month later I feel horrible again. I also couldn't help but feeling it was a bit of the "magic feather" phenomenon and I was tricking myself.

I used to suffer from generalized anxiety disorder. I don't anymore.

The first thing I want to say is that there is no shame in taking medication if you truly need it. You seem to think that you're week if you need medicine, but it's that sort of mindset that has kept mental illness in the closet for so many years.

You can read how I overcame anxiety here: How I Overcame Anxiety (and How You can Too)

In the end, I didn't need medication, although I did try it -- it just didn't work for me. Other techniques worked better. But every case is different.

[MariaG]

I feel stuck, restless, tormented and just generally unhappy. I've been noticing that the more unhappy I feel, the more I do strange things like rearrange furniture, closets, etc.

Let me say first, Sketchygirl, that you should make your own mind up about prescription usage, but 40 days is probably not long enough to know if it's helpful or not.

If you're interested in trying alternative therapies, you may want to check out this site that instructs people in using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. With some practice you can learn to interupt your behaviors and thoughts and be more "productive."

[kgiuliani]

A few things that have helped me:

Rapid Recovery From Depression Using Magnesium Treatment

Most people who experience mental health problems are deficient in magnesium as you can read on the above website. I would highly recommend you start taking magnesium supplements daily and see if they help. Much cheaper than psychiatric drugs!

If you crave chocolate that's a sign that for sure you're magnesium deficient because chocolate contains a decent amount of magnesium.

Another supplement I would recommend is Kava. There's also a Kava tea which really relaxes me if I feel anxious about anything. Not sure how much to take but don't take it daily for the rest of your life since it can cause liver problems (but so does Tylenol).

To help you become an observer of your thoughts rather than a believer of them you can try doing The Work. Byron Katie was a women so depressed she didn't get out of bed for a year - then one day she had an awakening. She now teaches people how to question their thoughts in a way that will bring them inner peace. You can read more about The Work here:

The Work of Byron Katie

Good luck to you! I sincerely hope this helps you.

[Mark Lapierre]

John's advice holds true for me. I still have many bouts of anxiety, though now it's only in relation to socialising. Regular exercise helps a lot, though it only makes the process easier, it alone isn't enough. My general anxiety and unhappiness gradually disappeared as I became more aware of my good points, and more accepting of my bad points. The same good points my friends had been pointing out for years, and bad points which bothered only me, though I ignored them, or rather, I believed they were just trying to make me feel better. I eventually realised they were trying to make me feel better, but they were also telling the truth, as they saw it.

So an increase in self-acceptance and self-confidence lead to a decrease in anxiety and unhappiness. I'm now applying the same process to my remaining causes of anxiety.

But most importantly sketchygirl, in all of this, where are your friends? I don't know if any of those self-help books mention the importance of social networks and their impact on mental and physical health, but if you want I can point you to a few research papers, books, and scientific journalism pieces.

[FreelanceWanderer]

Sketchygirl, I used to have GAD and also Panic Disorder -- for about 14 years -- but they went away after I started taking karate. It must have been something about the exercise/confidence boost/meditation combo. I even had a reported essay about my experience published in a health magazine!

You shouldn't be ashamed to take medication. Anxiety disorders stem from imbalances in brain chemistry...they don't indicate a problem with your willpower or mental strength.

Good luck!

FW

[realignedliving]

"Generalized Anxiety Disorder - most vague diagnosis ever"

Not really, that's a pretty clear diagnosis. The "generalized" just comes from the group of symptoms the disorder has.