Mastering Fear of improving your life and leaving people behind.

[harold bolton]

I have been journaling and something I came across when I was reviewing my entries is I have this fear of growing and leaving behind the people that are in my life.
I feel that I am needed by my friends and if I grow I will be lonely. As I am changing my friends are pulling away from me and I feel myself reverting to past behavior just to keep the entire gang around. The relationships I do have are lacking but they are relationships and i feel its better to have a little something than nothing at all.

I know that I want to grow but I do not want to be lonely. I was wondering if anyone else felt this and how you got over it.

[Shamou]

As you grow and evolve you will attract people who are on a higher plane then the friends that you have now...

However, should you chose not to evolve... and feel that you should, you will be more than lonely... you will not even have yourself as a friend...

Life is growth, we either grow and evolve... or we wither and die... there is no status quo in nature...

Your growth will give you more resources than you have now... not only will you find new friends... but you will also have other and more satisfying interests...

As, as you know, hanging out with people just to fight loneliness... is not much of a life... so, go for it, you will not regret it...

The very best of luck to you...

.

[The David]

I am currently at a point in my life where I am incompatible with nearly everyone in my life. Sometimes I suck it up and go spend time with people anyway, but I usually feel empty afterwards.

I will be going back to school in another month. One way of avoiding this is to have a broader social network, which I simply have not done. Remember, you can't reject the entire world and call that 'personal development'. Some people act as though social interaction with the 'unenlightened' will somehow contaminate them, and it would be horrible to become such a person. However, there are always people who will do little but pull you down.

The only thing I can think to do is either branch out and find people who pull you up (I don't even remember what it feels like to be around someone like that), or learn to spend time alone. Preferably the first one, but this may just be temporary.

[John Hill]

As you are growing you are using the law of vibration to increase your own personal vibration level whether you are aware of it or not. As your vibration rate increases you will leave behind your old friends whose vibration level remains the same. There is nothing you can do about this other than stop your personal growth. As your vibration level rises further and further, these old friends would have difficulty residing in the same space as you without you and them both feeling uncomfortable.

The good news is that you will attract new friends who are on a higher vibration like you. Wecome to self growth.

John

[PicklePaws]

Through self-hypnosis, I found that this exact same issue is behind my fear of success. I was surprised at first, but it made perfect sense.

That was a few years ago, and now I'm finding that my negative friends are falling out of my life. It hurts to lose a friend, but just imagine what I'm doing with all my free time now that I'm not constantly listening to angry pity parties and being criticized.

[ahimel]

Steve says somewhere (I know I read it on this page, but it was about a year ago and I have no chance of finding the article again) that as an enlightened person, you should spend about half your time with people more enlightened than you are, and about half your time with people less so.

Spend time with people more enlightened than you in order to grow yourself. Their vibrational energy will pull you up. Spend time with people less enlightened in order to help them grow - give your vibrational energy a chance to pull them up.

Find yourself some people who are ahead of you in whatever field you're working on. I found, once I sat down and looked at it, that I already knew these people, I just had to get into the habit of hanging out with them. Perhaps you'll find the same. Don't stop hanging out with your old friends (maybe reduce time spent with them, if necessary) - just remind yourself as you go in that you're not going to sink to their level, you're going to give them stairs to your level.

(Incidentally, I find that to be true of just about any field - enlightenment, wealth, engineering, obesity. Hanging out with people who are doing better than you are causes you to do better. So spend half your time with people richer than you are, half your time with people poorer. Half your time with people healthier than you are....)

[silicon toad2000]

I keep a few close friends around me. I find that most people, no matter how enlightened they are or aren't have valuable perspectives and opinions. I grew up lower middle class and the core group of friends from that period I value. I have always been pretty choosy about my friends and only ever keep those who I can understand and that understand me. As a result I feel comfortable mixing new friends and older friends.
I guess I'm lucky that I feel I can identify people who should be left behind shortly after I meet them. Mostly those who are still there after a year or few are keepers.

[Atma]

Yes,there are some nice thoughts here. I would add that we must not be afraid to let go when all signs are pointing to us to do so. Have faith in the laws of the universe and your own being, we are all taken care of.
Try a link from John Hill

We will attract new situations that will bring new,more suitable people. That does not mean that old friends/associates were wrong,on the contrary, they were exactly the people that you needed to learn and grow, as well as to repay some debts.

Law of cause and effect doesn't work in a way that we can escape from actions we put in motion,and all proceeds as it needs to.
Dive into uncertainty, knowing that you are safe!
Faith in love and life!

[jsot]

I've never really had that problem. I guess because while don't have many friends the ones I do have I've decided that they're worth holding on to despite the circumstances. I personally believe that's what a true friend is. The problem for me comes when I see my friends growing and I start worrying that they'll leave me behind.