Drifting away

[artman]

hi, i am new to the forums. i am just going to rant about life and see if it makes sense to any of you. i am 21 and feel like i am doing nothing. i work but live paycheck to paycheck. i have failed at school and i am in community college trying to pick a career but cant seem to find one that i truly care for. i see friends and get bored of them. i work and i am bored. i wake up with an overwhelming sensation that i cant do anything right. i just got back together with my ex cause i cant find anyone else and i dont even want to be with her. i have tried to set goals but i always forget about them. i am in physical pain most of the time cause of my bad back which doesnt want to get healed. i like to draw and paint and i dont even want to do that.

i try to motivate myself to get things done and change but i end up doing nothing. its been one year since i promised myself i will change but i havent done anything worthwhile. i eat sleep work see friends go to a few classes but through all of this i feel like a drone or a zombie just going through life. i have nothing that i am striving for and i have searched for it. what i would want to be what i would like to do but i seem to forget about them and just do what i do. i am frustrated and bored and anxious and want to start a completlely different life where i am happy energized and confident and passionate. i always say tommorow is the day and sometimes i can get one day where i do what i want but i always fall into the old routine. and here i sit again at night and i am promising myself i will change everything starting tommorow...

[Shamou]

Hello artman...

You are getting there... you have not had enough yet... when a few more bricks fall on your head you will have reached what is called, "The threshold of Tolerance."

That is the day when you can't take it no more... and you decide that enough is enough... and by "gawd" things are going to change...

Now, it is for you to decide if you need two more bricks or a ton of it...

You are not a victim of your circumstances... you, yourself created it... and you won't get any sympathy from me... but tought love... you have it in your power to change your life... and I hope that you decide to do it...

God has given you the greatest gift of all which is life... now, it is up to you to build on that... and I sincerely... and I mean sincerely hope that you do it...

The only other advice that I can give you is to stick with this forum... read the positive input... and don't ever give up...

Keep us posted... we are all behind you...

.

[Sam988]

Willpower to change, that you need. No one but you can give you that, thats what you have to fix in your mind. No one is going to change your life for you, no one cares as much as you about your life.

Thats the best advice i can give to you, the rest is up to you. Unfortunately, posting here on the forums wont help you if you dont decide to take action and keep it going.


One more thing, dont try to change overnight, go bit by bit, step by step, as the saying goes "The best way to complete your 1000 miles journey is by taking the first step". Start with small, achievable things, like deciding to walk for 15 minutes every day, reading for 30 minutes a day, eating healthier food, and so on. Those are all achievable goals. Since you managed to find this site, you have already proven you have willpower to change, now its up to you to make it.



Maybe these two article can help you on achieving the goals you set. PLEASE read them if you really mean to change your life. (remember to make them small on the beggining, and once you achieve one go to another, and after a while you will have built enough self confidence from previous successes to move on to bigger goals):


http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...lf-discipline/

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...helming-force/



And be sure to be posting your future results

[artman]

i definitly dont see myself as a victim. i have thought about where i am and i cant blame my situation on anyone else. it pisses me off that i didnt change things earlier but i cant worry about that. so i am going to start today and commit to myself that i will not waste time and write down and accomplish my goals. i will let you all know what i want to get done and i would appereciate your input. i will post them later on when i get a chance.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by artman

i am going to start today and commit to myself that i will not waste time and write down and accomplish my goals.

That's great artman...

Taking a public commitment will certainly motivate you to keep your word...

We are all behind you... you may get some flowers but you may also have the pot thrown at you... it's your move... your decision...

And, again, congratulation on your decision... and the very best of luck to you...

.

[Positive180]

A man walks up to a farm house, and sitting in a
rocking chair is a farmer with his dog lying next to
him on the floor.

When the man looks at the dog he notices that the
dog is whimpering in pain. The man asks the farmer
“Sir, why is your dog crying?”

The farmer replies:
“Well, he’s sitting on a nail.”

The man scratches his head in confusion, and asks,
“Well, why the heck don’t he just move off the
darned thing!?!”

The farmer replies,
“Well, it aint hurtin’ him enough I reckon.”

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Positive180

A man walks up to a farm house, and sitting in a
rocking chair is a farmer with his dog lying next to
him on the floor.

When the man looks at the dog he notices that the
dog is whimpering in pain. The man asks the farmer
“Sir, why is your dog crying?”

The farmer replies:
“Well, he’s sitting on a nail.”

The man scratches his head in confusion, and asks,
“Well, why the heck don’t he just move off the
darned thing!?!”

The farmer replies,
“Well, it aint hurtin’ him enough I reckon.”

Very good lesson there Positive 180 (love your name)

I would like to add this little poem to it...

Isn't it strange how princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and common people, like you and me,
are builders for eternity?

Each is given a list of rules;
a shapeless mass; a bag of tools.
And each must fashion, ere life is flown,
A stumbling block, or a Stepping-Stone.

R. Lee Sharpe

It has inspired me in the past... hope it can do the same for artman...

.

[thehexman]

Hi artman!

My sister had the same problem you did for a long time. What finally got her started is taking small steps. First she finished school, worked at the day care center at a local college, then she got herself an internship, and then she got herself a job which she is starting in September. She is now 18.

You need to find something you like to do, not something you really like (you probably don't know that yet), and start from there. For example: Have you tried painting your emotional state? I started with that. Take small steps. And above all: This is not going to be easy. But it is in your hands.

[The Cloud]

I think that I can relate to you, in a way, and if your problems are anything like mine were, then I have some useful advice. Your problem is not what you are doing with your life, but how you are thinking about it. An exercise that has helped me in the past is to write down a list of beliefs I have about myself and the world. Not the beliefs I think I should have, but the ones that I do actually hold. Once the list is made, then I go about checking if all the beliefs are congruent with each other. If there are any conflicting beliefs, then one of them is wrong and needs to change. Your problem likely descends from a core inconsistency between your beliefs and reality. I hope that this helps, and good luck.

[artman]

one of the big things i want to work on is being more social and initiating more things to do with people, and also dating more. i am going to end the relationship with my ex so i have nothing to fall back on.

right now the only things i do to socialize is play basketball and go to eat somewhere, go to a hooka bar (a cafe where they have flavored tobacco)with friends, or go to a friends house to play video games. however, i usually hang out with the same people, they are all cool but i want to meet more people and go do other things.

i work at the mall and its a pretty good place with alot of people but i have not met too many people there. alot of time , i just believe i am a boring person and people dont want to hang out with me. that has stopped me from dating girls too. i have had a few girls that wanted to go out with me but i didnt pursue it cause i thought they would find me boring and would leave. so i definitly have to change the belief but its kind of been like this for most of my life.

also i have noticed that when i talk to people the conversations with new people are usually bland and not fun and it doesnt matter who the person is. i want to have more energetic, and fun conversation. this includes with guys and girls. I also seem to have a problem talking to people one on one outside of work and school...

now to do this i need to find out places where i can meet people. i was thinking of joining a painting class, martial arts, but that is all i could think of right now. i have tried hanging out with a few people that i play basketball with that are not my friends but that has not worked out too well.

i dont know if i need to just plan more things to do and invite people or see if they are upto something that if i could come as well. the things i am thinking would be fun would be bowling, playing pool, going to the city to muesuems, concerts, or events. most of my friends basically do what i mentioned earlier, sports, video games and hooka bar.

so basically i want to become more social meet new people, experience new places new things new people so if you all have any tips on how to achieve this it would be appereciated. i will see if i can set up some things with friends to do other things than just the usual on weekands. also try to meet more people at work and school for now.

[Sam988]

I've just recently heard this podcast, but its a great one to achieve goals:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...l-achievement/

[artman]

i looked over my goals and i just keep thinking that it is pointless to do this. i had similar goals 2 years ago and in those 2 years i met alot of people, hung out with them but after 2 years i donthave much to show for it. some were bad people, some i chose to let go, and some just kind of went away.

I mean for my birthday, none of my current friends, the people i hang out with most of the time did not show up to my birthday. the only people that showed up were people from work and one friend. everybody else ditched or had other plans.

the thing is i cant blame it on them because it has something to do with me. something that i am failing to do that i keep repeating the same pattern again and again. i feel alone and i want it to go away but it keeps creeping back. it stops me from doing homework, working on drawings and paintings i dont know if its even worth my time to even worry about it. the feeling that no one cares and that if i ever need my friends they will not be there. my fear is that i am just not good at connecting with people at a deeper level than just small talk. that all my effort will again be a waste of time.

now this time i want to do things differently. i want to meet new people see new experiences, but i want to connect with them in a manner where i care about their life and they do the same for me.

[justfiverules]

Artman,

You may already have thought of this...but are there any volunteer opportunities for you to help out with organizations who assist people less fortunate than yourself on a regular basis?

[artman]

i should do that definitly. i havent volunteered in like 5 years. i know i could do it at a hospital. what other places would be good for volunteering?

[artman]

well i have made some progress. i hung out with a few different people in the last week. just went to watch a movie with people from work and went bowling with them too. it was not too bad. they all already know each other but they all were pretty cool. i am going to initiate hanging out with them again.

also i have not broken up with my ex. i dont know we barely talk or see each other and i am just waiting for her to break up with me...

i did get the number of this girl that i used to talk to before at work. i definitly like her as does she so i will definitly set up a date in this week hopefully. i already have doubts that the date will go wrong etc.. so i gotta work on that..

well overall making some progress. i definitly am not there but its something.