Mental mastery

[TheFlyingMan]

Hey guys, I'm exploring the area of mental mastery now. Right now I tend to have a few negative thoughts once in a while - they are merely force of habit these days.

For example, I might relive an argument I had with a work mate a couple of days ago. I've done what I can to patch things up, to learn from the mistake, I've accepted the hurt and anger and let it go, and so on. But instead of seeing her in a kind light like I would like to, sometimes I still think of her in a bad way.

I would really like to stop this pattern in my head.

But much of my research on the thought seems to deal with each individual pattern. Chaining, for example, seems to deal with this pattern in particular. Break this pattern and replace it with a positive one. I have a feeling that it's not the right way to go about it as I'll never get them all, and there will be new arguments etc happening in my life. It feels like I'm treating the symptoms and not the root of the "disease", so to speak.

Does anyone have any opinions on this? Like, is there anything that deals with the root?

[Shamou]

TheFlyingMan!

My answer to your question will be so simplistic as to sound asinine.. but here goes...

Have you ever tried of not thinking about a particular subject...??? The more you try not too... the more you do...

So, I would say to you... stop trying not to think about certain events... when, they "accidentally" reach your conscious... simply start focusing on something else... and those unwanted memories will go away...

Self-mastery is a science and an art... the more we practice it... the more adept and proficient we get at it...

Good luck to you...

.

[Gary]

To change those patterns of thinking you have to change two other elements that make up any thought. Each thought has a corresponding point of view and emotion.

The three elements of a thought come as a package. Some people are able to change the thought and emotion but it usually doesn't last long because they haven't made a shift in point of view. ( perspective that you make your interpretations from)

Changing the point of view is actually the most critical element to change. When you change your point of view the thought and corresponding emotion automatically change.

[TheFlyingMan]

Shamou, thanks for that. I'll give it a shot. I don't think it works before, but now I've sort of cleaned out the emotions (as Gary mentions) associated with these thoughts, I find it a lot easier. I'm also wondering if that's all it takes, but at the same time it might be a long way around.

Gary, thanks as well. I'm a big fan of your work, and in fact since posting the question I've spent a couple of hours reading your stuff and listening to your podcasts. I've thought for a few weeks now about getting your audio program but it'll have to wait for a few more weeks until my finances are a bit more under control. And yes I've heard your podcasts on core beliefs and how changing it requires a change in a point of view, and that's what's pushing me to buy your material - fantastic stuff!

I've hit the same block that you've always talked about - how the normal self help talk just recommends you start thinking about a nice event, etc.. now that didn't work for me and kept me angry and upset for many months. Now as you mentioned there are three factors, and I've finally cleared out the emotional side of it. These thoughts no longer cause me trouble in that sense, it's just that I find myself drifting off into them (force of habit, like when I lie in bed preparing to sleep- that's when I used to get all upset) and I want to stop. (Maybe now is the time to go back to that self help "fluff" as you call it - would positive thinking be the way now that I've cleared the emotions?)

Could you give a brief example of changing the POV? The way I understand it might be wrong. Let's say I'm upset over an argument with my co-worker, who was bossing it over me. Does changing my POV mean that I stop believing that I need her support to be happy, that she shouldn't boss it over me, etc? And how do I go about that?

[Gary]

Flying Man:
Could you give a brief example of changing the POV? The way I understand it might be wrong. Let's say I'm upset over an argument with my co-worker, who was bossing it over me. Does changing my POV mean that I stop believing that I need her support to be happy, that she shouldn't boss it over me, etc? And how do I go about that?

Your question refers to "stop believing" this story and adopt an "alternate story" Again we are in the realm of thoughts, dialogue, and beliefs. This doesn't address point of view.

Point of view is more awareness based and doesn't translate well by description. Think of it as something that you have to "see." Like one of those magic eye pictures that shifts when you soften your vision. It's difficult to explain to someone how to do that. But if you practice some things and get used to it, things begin to become obvious.

Session 3 of the audio program (free) makes an introduction into adopting a different point of view. Session 5 (first paid session) makes a big leap that you build on to with later sessions.

[TheFlyingMan]

Thanks a lot, Gary. I'll check them out right now.

[Peleke4]

Originally Posted by TheFlyingMan

Hey guys, I'm exploring the area of mental mastery now. Right now I tend to have a few negative thoughts once in a while - they are merely force of habit these days.

For example, I might relive an argument I had with a work mate a couple of days ago. I've done what I can to patch things up, to learn from the mistake, I've accepted the hurt and anger and let it go, and so on. But instead of seeing her in a kind light like I would like to, sometimes I still think of her in a bad way.

I would really like to stop this pattern in my head.

But much of my research on the thought seems to deal with each individual pattern. Chaining, for example, seems to deal with this pattern in particular. Break this pattern and replace it with a positive one. I have a feeling that it's not the right way to go about it as I'll never get them all, and there will be new arguments etc happening in my life. It feels like I'm treating the symptoms and not the root of the "disease", so to speak.

Does anyone have any opinions on this? Like, is there anything that deals with the root?

Here's something very simple that'll neutralize those negative thoughts. You mentioned that you sometimes relive negative situations like the argument you had with your co-worker. You've already done what you can and you also learned from the experience. However, going through the experience in your mind's eye makes you feel bad again. There's no point in feeling bad again because you've already felt bad once, and once is enough. Next time you replay the incident in your mind, simply do the following:

*click on the link below and you'll see a cool image:

Google Image Result for http://media1.guzer.com/pictures/funny_muscle_lady.jpg

*Just do this one simple thing. You're not changing anything else. You're simply adding the muscular woman above in the incident. Maybe she's standing next to your co-worker? How about placing the muscular woman behind your co-worker, giving your co-worker a massage while the argument takes place? Notice how the muscular woman looks at you directly in the eyes as the argument goes down.

*How does that change the way you feel about the situation?

I personally used the same pattern with the muscular woman recently. Works like a charm! Humor and laughter may sometimes neutralize negative energy. There's a lot of healing power in the absurd.

[TheFlyingMan]

Man that's a hilarious picture

I think it's a fantastic way, I'll give it an earnest shot, thanks a lot!