Do you remember your first love ?

[aabukar]

what is it like to be in love with someone for the first time in your life? do you remember? of course no one forgets his/her first true love ... but my question was it fun ? or do you remember being overwhelmed by emotions ? ... waiting for a phone call or fearing to make a phone call ... trying to hide this big smile on your face when you see him/her just because you don't want to look so naive and yet you can not help make fool of yourself


Have you had these mixed up emotions (love , hate, anger, depression …etc) all at once that you just get confused …

Or have you tried and tried to just stop thinking about him/her for a minute to concentrate on something else in your life .. But yet you could not find that peace in your mind.

Or did you interpret every single word he/she said in 10,000 different ways in your head

Or you experienced something different than all the above ? In this case what was it

[Old Soul]

Hell yeah! I remember my first love, I think Rod Stewart says it best in his song "The First Cut is the deepest".....

I remember one morning waking up and had a ton of strong feelings come over me all at once, and I remember thinking "I'm in love"!...... this was a highschool sweetheart, and to this day I wonder how this person is, is he married, happy does he have kids , what is his job proffesion.....

so yeah you never forget your first love

[XeutonMojukai]

Yeah... I'm IM'ing with her right now.

Still haven't met her, but we did have cybersex a few times, but we actually came at the same time once, and had the same type of spiritual experience I later read happened during similar situations from normal sex...

Since then, we still are best friends, and sorta have wistful chats every few weeks. It's bittersweet, but I don't think it's worth having any other way...

~ David

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by XeutonMojukai

Yeah... I'm IM'ing with her right now.
Still haven't met her
~ David

Really ? how do you love someone (like falling in deep love) you have not seen yet ? is not that difficult or do you talk regularly so it does not make a difference?

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by Old Soul

Hell yeah! I remember my first love, I think Rod Stewart says it best in his song "The First Cut is the deepest".....

I think it is common that first love hurts but why should it be painful and end in break ups ? i am just wondering

[JohnPlace]

Here I must make the distinction between the first person I truly loved and the first person I thought I loved.

When I was young, before I learned that true love involves more than warm and fuzzy feelings, I felt all the things you'd expect. Ultimately, I felt a lot of pain and heartache, because that wasn't love, my friends. It was hormones and confusion.

The first woman I truly loved is the woman I married. Been together 10 years now, married for 3. Best 10 years of my life.

[JohnPlace]

Originally Posted by aabukar

I think it is common that first love hurts but why should it be painful and end in break ups ? i am just wondering

In my case, it was because my understanding of the nature of love was fragile and horribly inadequate. And I think that's pretty common with first loves, due mostly to our inexperience.

[rapidsnyc]

Frankly, I don't believe in love. It is simply a attraction to apposite sex. A trap of your subconscious mind, which every wise man should avoid.

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

Frankly, I don't believe in love. It is simply a attraction to apposite sex. A trap of your subconscious mind, which every wise man should avoid.

loooooooooooool i liked the every wise man should avoid part ... is it based on experience ?

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

In my case, it was because my understanding of the nature of love was fragile and horribly inadequate. And I think that's pretty common with first loves, due mostly to our inexperience.

yup I agree ... then the question is how to make your first love a real one ? what are the things that you have learned that made you know how to differenciate between the two ? and how to develop the real one?

I think that real love is more than attraction it is something that work on not just feel it right ?

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by rapidsnyc

Frankly, I don't believe in love. It is simply a attraction to apposite sex. A trap of your subconscious mind, which every wise man should avoid.

I envy you, rapidsnyc. I really do. You have so many wonderful discoveries ahead of you, the best ones.

[Ilya]

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

Here I must make the distinction between the first person I truly loved and the first person I thought I loved.

I don't think it is possible to misinterpret love. First love is indeed immature and hard to comprehend, but it can't be mistaken for anything, IMO.
I thought by the person you thought you loved, you meant kindergarden girl, you told everyone about and promised to marry. I did something like that. I even kissed her on the cheek! Well, I was very bold then , but that probably wasn't love.

When I was young, before I learned that true love involves more than warm and fuzzy feelings, I felt all the things you'd expect. Ultimately, I felt a lot of pain and heartache, because that wasn't love, my friends. It was hormones and confusion.

Ouch. You sound very dismissive here. Reminds me of denial.
Tell me what else should be there except warm and fuzzy feelings?

In my experience, it is exactly a lot of pain and heartache. I was socially hopeless and when I saw her, I immediately decided that I will never tell her of my feelings. I kept this promise to myself for 5 years, got myself depressed, my parents placed me with psychiatrist, he happily prescribed me Prozak. It seemed then that the only reason I didn't kill myself, was the need to walk and care for my dog.

Now, hormones, did contribute to the problem, no doubt. But it would be insulting to myself to deny that it was true feelings. It was painful, but that was the love and that was the third best period of my life. I was extremely alive then.

[Ilya]

The funny thing is that I'm going to meet my first love tomorrow. She will be in the country, travelling from China to Germany.

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

Here I must make the distinction between the first person I truly loved and the first person I thought I loved.

Same here John... I have "fallen" in love so many times that I could not count them... it would usually take me all of five minutes... and there, in front of me was my true love... I had not even talked to her yet... I guess that boys will be boys... and at the time my brain was located six inches south of my belt...

And, then I found a truly beautiful girl... six months later I married her... but, goofed again... I loved her as a prized possession and not as a person... so... divorce... and back on the streets again...

But, I did get something out of that marriage... I found out was love was and what it was not...

Then, finally, this gorgeous, bright and intelligent girl walked into my life... I was prepared... I was finally matured enough... the rest is history... twenty four years of pure bliss... her name is Danielle and she's an Angel...

.

[Iksander]

I had a similar experience, Ilya, in the vein of emotive response; the situation itself was very different but I remember feeling the most alive but also the most dead then.

She was my best friends girlfriend and we had started dating before they broke up (a year before they broke up, yuck) - god damn was I addicted to her, it was such a masochistic situation too. I learned alot from that one...

A) Bros before hos
B) The woman has to be single!
C) Never rely on someone to make you feel good

I still have not had a real relationship since that one (I ended it a year ago, it was 3 years running, I am 20 right now); I had tried leaving her 7 times before but it never followed through - somehow she and I always got back together (I moved 3 times, too!).

Goofy thing is, now I can't really seem to focus on the 'deep' aspect of women - I have a hard time not objectifying them and treating them like 'countries to be conquered'. I am 20 anywho, that stuff should wait till I have settled down... but I do miss the bond she and I had.

[aabukar]

I just want to say that i am enjoying your posts thanks for sharing ... your experiences and thoughts help me alot

I liked the "never feel alive and never feel dead before" that is soo true ...
It seems it is a difficult experience but at least i know I am not the only one feeling like that

"Never Rely on anyone to make you feel good about yourself" that is so true too

Thanks alot dear friends ... Please keep sharing

[sv800]

Wow, what a delightful and painful memories. I still pray for them when I remember a passage or send a positive thought.
I let them go...
Great post...

[Jenny]

I remember my first love and it was just a crazy tangle of emotions - excitment, joy, insecurity, pleasure - all at once. Everything was absolutely new which made the entire experience both wonderful and scary.

I think the biggest difference between my first love and a long term love is the focus shifts from all about what you are feeling (albeit with a needy attention given to how they feel primarily in regards to what their feelings might lead you to feel/experience) to a true concern with the person you love in addition to yourself. You learn how to become partners with another person, not dependent upon them. Just my opinion though.

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by Jenny

You learn how to become partners with another person, not dependent upon them. Just my opinion though.

Great opinion if i may say yup that is a difference

[oharrell]

Oh man...memories, my first love was deep longing, obssession, and pain. It was kind of an admiring from afar at first. Then my best friend (when youre young all your friends are best friends...) told all of my other best friends and by the end of the week, the entire 6, 5 (which I was apart of), 4 and 3 grade knew of it. Including him. We were both fairly well-known in the school before hand, which didnt help.

I was extremely nervous around people back then and what other people thought of me (or what I imagined them thinking) was a serious burden. I sought to repair the damage and began telling everyone I didnt like him (I only said it once when he was around, he made the strangest face, of course now I know what it was for) At first no one bought it-but I stayed persistant (unforunately) and by the end it all quieted down and the only people who remained unconvinced were the kids in our own class.

But by the end of the year everyone forgot about it, or at least I thought everyone did. On the last day of school his best friend asked me when we were alone if I liked my FL. I heard Yes scream in my head but I said no. He was like "Oh..." Summer passed painfully, then sixth grade went by.

I moved away for 2 years, forgetting it all eventually. But then my parents decided to move back unexpectedly and I saw most of the people from the old school-but not him, I found out he moved out of state.

My best friend from back then who used to be his neighbor told me one insignifigant day, in a really off-hand way. "Guess what. Last year before he moved guess what he told me." "what." I thought she was going to say something stupid. "He said he loved you." I thought she was joking, I mean LOVE? that's an awefully strong word for a 12 yr old. But the same guy who asked me if I liked the guy back in 5th grade said it was true. It's weird how much those words hurt after all that time away. I sank low after that.

But that was 2 something years ago, and Im much better now.

Moral of the story: Dont let your peers get the best of you, and dont deny how you feel. Life's too short for it.

[jsot]

Going by those things you described, I do, and she's my only "love". I actually met her in 4th grade (I'm going into 9th now) and I was blown away by how pretty she was. But it has gotten worse over the years, earlier this year I even got depressed over her and for the past three months I think about her 60-70% of the time. Pretty much all of the things you described I've done/felt.
I wouldn't call it "love" per se but whatever I'm feeling is still pretty strong.

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by oharrell

Oh man...memories, my first love was deep longing, obssession, and pain. It was kind of an admiring from afar at first. Then my best friend (when youre young all your friends are best friends...) told all of my other best friends and by the end of the week, the entire 6, 5 (which I was apart of), 4 and 3 grade knew of it. Including him. We were both fairly well-known in the school before hand, which didnt help.

I was extremely nervous around people back then and what other people thought of me (or what I imagined them thinking) was a serious burden. I sought to repair the damage and began telling everyone I didnt like him (I only said it once when he was around, he made the strangest face, of course now I know what it was for) At first no one bought it-but I stayed persistant (unforunately) and by the end it all quieted down and the only people who remained unconvinced were the kids in our own class.

But by the end of the year everyone forgot about it, or at least I thought everyone did. On the last day of school his best friend asked me when we were alone if I liked my FL. I heard Yes scream in my head but I said no. He was like "Oh..." Summer passed painfully, then sixth grade went by.

I moved away for 2 years, forgetting it all eventually. But then my parents decided to move back unexpectedly and I saw most of the people from the old school-but not him, I found out he moved out of state.

My best friend from back then who used to be his neighbor told me one insignifigant day, in a really off-hand way. "Guess what. Last year before he moved guess what he told me." "what." I thought she was going to say something stupid. "He said he loved you." I thought she was joking, I mean LOVE? that's an awefully strong word for a 12 yr old. But the same guy who asked me if I liked the guy back in 5th grade said it was true. It's weird how much those words hurt after all that time away. I sank low after that.

But that was 2 something years ago, and Im much better now.

Moral of the story: Dont let your peers get the best of you, and dont deny how you feel. Life's too short for it.

That is a very good advice thanks for sharing

[aabukar]

Originally Posted by jsot

I wouldn't call it "love" per se but whatever I'm feeling is still pretty strong.

Yup i think that such feelings need time until they fade away ...well they wont but it wont feel that strong after time i think

Thanks for sharing