Tough times

[Brian20o2]

I know that my life is definitely not the worst. But right now is pretty tough on me and I want to get out of it. I'm a firm believer that you have to have bad to appreciate the bad but I'm tired of emotionally fretting over all this stuff that I have almost no control over.

My 15 year old sister is going through chemotherapy for bone cancer, I'm graduating high school tomorrow, I got too attached in an ending relationship, I have to find a job within a week or so without a car to drive or any parents around town to help me out with trasportation, I'm never gonna see half my HS friends again after tomorrow...

It's just REALLY hard for me to be positive with all of this happening within this small time frame of 1-2 weeks.

Any advice or support would be GREATLY appriciated.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

Hey Brian! I can see why you are feeling down right now. You have a lot going on in a short period of time...and at quite a young age.

I don't know how much I can give you in the way of advice, but I will say I hear you and I am wishing you all good things in the days to come. It may not seem like it now, but you have so much wonderful stuff in front of you. One thing to try is Keeping Perspective When You Have a Really Really Big Problem. Another would be Always Look On the Bright Side of Life. Try Rebuilding Momentum After Setbacks. Emotoinal Mastery is a great thing to learn when dealing with monumental problems. All of these are articles that Steve wrote which have helped me tremendously. Also just try looking through the Archives and see if you find anything that catches your attention.

I am very sure that you will be just fine, but I also understand how paralyzing the stress can be when so many things aren't going your way.

I don't know what the situation with your parents is, but you have your sister with you. Make this the time to really focus on that relationship. I don't know if you are very close, but if not, maybe you could be. As for high school friends not keeping in touch and ending relationships, those are very tough to deal with. As someone who's gone through both (and has a few years on you) I can only say that you will make many new friends and find fullfilling relationships. It's painful now, but I promise it will get better.

Keep your chin up and know that there is someone out there pulling for you. I am intending great strength (which is already inside you) and great happiness (which is everpresent -- you only have to look for it).

Best wishes.

[Brian20o2]

Thanks for those links. They really help. I guess it's just time to accept stuff and move on and start getting things done.

[Lychee]

Brian, you already know the answer. You've said it yourself: "accept stuff and move on and start getting things done." It's hard, it's difficult, but it isn't something you can get out of. It is programmed in the game of life for a person to experience adversity, but the decision to react to that adversity lies completely in our hands. I am not trying to diminish or dismiss the problems you are going through, but as time goes on you will understand why these circumstances occurred at the time they did.

I hope that your sister recovers from the bone cancer, I wish you a good high school graduation and allow yourself to get attached while knowing there is a greater purpose for you. Based on my experience, high school will be in one's memories, but they will not hold the same value as they do now for you. Your high school friends will change and you'll see the other people out there while appreciating the time you had with them.

Time is the answer. Only time can ease the pain for you because this life is just ticking down for us. I don't know if you saw the Nickelback video, but we all have digits above our heads counting down to zero (figuratively) and then it is done. Use the time you have for something productive and meaningful, knowing that the bumps in the road are exactly what you need to fulfill your destiny.

[soccer7]

oh its great that you graduating, oh right, its been awhile since this post was posted. Anyhow umm, about the job, do u really need to get a job right away? umm, ok i really got no great helpful tips for you, sory, so all i can do i wish you the best,

oh wait, perhaps you can try to just stop and sit and think for awhile, just go somewhere calm and relaxing and just think, don't groan over the stuff that is making you feel bad, but just think, imagine that time has stoped and you have no time limit to your thinking , just relax for a bit and try see what your mind can come up with. It helps to take a shower and be in a comfortable state, most of the time when i have a problem, after a shower and relaxing time i find i can think more clearly and come up with more better ideas and strategy.

well, hope that helps, good luck

[munish]

Originally Posted by Brian20o2

I know that my life is definitely not the worst. But right now is pretty tough on me and I want to get out of it. I'm a firm believer that you have to have bad to appreciate the bad but I'm tired of emotionally fretting over all this stuff that I have almost no control over.

My 15 year old sister is going through chemotherapy for bone cancer, I'm graduating high school tomorrow, I got too attached in an ending relationship, I have to find a job within a week or so without a car to drive or any parents around town to help me out with trasportation, I'm never gonna see half my HS friends again after tomorrow...

It's just REALLY hard for me to be positive with all of this happening within this small time frame of 1-2 weeks.

Any advice or support would be GREATLY appriciated.

1.Read this by steve pavlina, http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/200...ve-reality-qa/

2. Finding Meaning in Difficult Times
Interview with Mira Kirshenbaum author of Everything Happens for a Reason by MiraKirshenbaum.

Mira is the child of holocaust survivors. Every relative except for her parents were killed by the Nazis in World War II, and she has long struggled with the question “Why?”

I found there were two reasons: First, so I could let go of fear. I shouldn’t have been born, so why should I be afraid of dying? If I’m not afraid of dying, then why should I be afraid of anything? And, the other reason was to have a sense of mission. By my count thirty of my cousins died. Was I spared so I can spend my life going shopping? I’ve gotten the gift of knowing that the meaning of my life involves helping people.

[Old Soul]

((( HUG)))))))


Oh sweety that is alot..... Brian, you don't have to feel positive about a damm thing, Just recieve my heart felt prayer, that you are / will be strengthed "through this ordeal !!!!!

in the meantime.... here is my should lean on me !!! if that is not enough

here is a big fat cookie I just made them!!! crunch crunch....

[Brian20o2]

lol. Thanks for the support. I've gotten out of this bad funk for now. I'm over graduating, almost over the relationship and my sister (Even through all this) still has her upbeat and positive outlook. And even though I can't see her every day or even weeks on end I know she's doing fine. As for the job, I need to save up about $3k so I can move to Toronto for a job. I got my bike fixed so although it's a little tiring I don't mind riding 3-6 miles to a job every day.

Still trying to get things figured out but I'm almost out of the bad funk.

[Max Power]

Originally Posted by Brian20o2

lol. Thanks for the support. I've gotten out of this bad funk for now. I'm over graduating, almost over the relationship and my sister (Even through all this) still has her upbeat and positive outlook. And even though I can't see her every day or even weeks on end I know she's doing fine. As for the job, I need to save up about $3k so I can move to Toronto for a job. I got my bike fixed so although it's a little tiring I don't mind riding 3-6 miles to a job every day.

Still trying to get things figured out but I'm almost out of the bad funk.

All of this very challenging stuff is designed to make you a better person because you want to experience growth, which is why our lives are sometimes painful, but nothing lasts forever, the sun will shine again, look to your sister for inspiration, she's got bucketloads of it