From a shy, introverted person to an assertive extrovert in 1 day?

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Shamou

...changes can and do happen in an instant...

yup. It's happened to me, several times. And I've seen it in others as well, many times.

But if you believe it takes time to change, then it will take time for you to change.

Why wait?

[Namaste]

Originally Posted by Shamou

Have you not met someone who decided to stop smoking in an instant and stuck to it... or someone who decided to reform in an instant... and have been straight ever since...???

However, there's just as many people who have decided the same thing and didn't keep it up. The decision to change is instant. In some cases, behavioural etc changes follow straight away and without any perceived effort, which is great. And in other cases, lots and lots of effort is needed to stay on track, sometimes with an occasional relapse into the old behaviour/way of thinking/feeling.

I think it's important to realise that change is a cyclical process, and not to let one (or a few) slip up dishearten you and make you give up.

Lots of great advice here already and Steve's article is useful as always. My advice to lightthecandle would be - be genuinly interested in other people, listen to what they have to say, ask questions. Find something that fascinates you about a person and fire away - people love talking about themselves! Of course, one has to balance on appropriateness between interest and downright intrusiveness. So it's best to talk about positive non-controversial things at first - the weather , work, holidays, kids... And occasionally throw into the conversation things that you are interested in, and look for cues to see if they share your interest. If they do - voila! - you found yourself a conversation buddy, and a few hours of fulfilling conversation is guaranteed. Good luck!

[Shamou]

Originally Posted by Angela

yup. It's happened to me, several times. And I've seen it in others as well, many times.

But if you believe it takes time to change, then it will take time for you to change.

Why wait?

My guess is that some people are passionate and dedicated... they firmly believe that you can be who you want to be... and do what you want you do... so, they get the results... and they get to be called "lucky" by those who are not blessed with these great gifts or attributes...

.

[Bloggeries]

I'm a total extrovert ok.

Let me tell you a few things which whether you realize or not do affect you.

How are you dressed, do you feel good in your attire? Do you feel good about yourself? Do you think you're special?

Seriously if your an extro and all those are good you're on fire, if they aren't your not your self.

If your an introvert you gotta make sure those things are all aligned or you're dead in the water. Just remember the prize in life goes to he/she who thinks they are worth it. Change your mind change the way you interact with people and change your life.

Rob

[Dolazy]

In 1 day? From what I've read I think that "meth" would help you with that.
I don't recommend it though..

[agnostic]

1 day hardcore treatment:

Make a complete ass out of yourself to destroy all the fear of other people's opinion on you (which is the cause of shyness):

- go to Burger King and order a BigMac and then complain
- go to McDonalds and order 3 Double Whoppers with cheese and bacon and then complain
- talk to 10 pretty girls and make the conversation as awkward as possible
and try to make fun of them

do this in one day.

I've designed it for myself. It helped me.

Have fun.

[Ivan]

Being an extrovert doesn't mean that you have to be constantly talking to everyone and make yourself the center of attention at every single event you attend. I say that because you may be afraid of becoming an 'unnatural' extrovert. The important thing is to overcome your fears of social interaction.

It took a while for me to accept that being a reserved person didn’t mean I was doomed to obscurity. Granted, I have learned how to better cope with my timidity. I realized it was holding me back in many areas. But that doesn’t mean I have to be insincere to myself as to who I really am!

[The Adventurer]

I personally find extraversion and intraversion to be not opposite poles of the same axis, but two separate dimensions that are not necessarily in a negative correlation.

a couple of examples from the wikipedia article

"Basically, an extravert is a person who is energized by being around other people. This is the opposite of an introvert who is energized by being alone."
I am certainly energized by being with other people. Whenever I spend too much time by myself, I lose clarity and begin to feel far from great. On the other hand if I have spend 24h a day with people for a week, finally being alone is very revitalizing. I definitely need a good mixture of both and neither works by itself.

"extraverts tend to think as they speak, unlike introverts who are far more likely to think before they speak."
I would agree that these are different modes of talking/thinking but I use both on a regular basis. Talking in the "extravert" mode feels more creative and more fun, while talking in the "introvert" mode feels better founded. Combining both by quickly switching between them is the coolest - generating ideas in the extravert way and taking a very short bit of time to think on them in the intovert way, but it is quite demanding, and also sometimes it is more appropriate to use only one of them.


So instead of trying to supress your introversion, focus on developing your extroverion part - spend time with people, talk more - about anything, but in the beginning it will be easiest to talk about things you feel passionate about even if they are something like "types of attractors and bifurcations in high dimensional manifolds"... just find the right people to talk about that with. But with time expand the circle of people and topics until you really feel satisfied with your communication abilities.

The more time you spend with people, the more you will learn to appreciate them and at some point you may find yourself wondering how you could live without them before. If you are wondering how to begin to spend time with people - think of an activity that you and the other(s) whose company you enjoy would like, call them and suggest it. And if they say no under no circumstance take it personally, call someone else, or call them later; people are often busy or think they are busy.

[unwiser]

thats so very true. Im introverted. But I love to party and I love meeting people. I have friends and so forth. But at some point I enjoy quiet time, just me by myself.

Originally Posted by JohnPlace

First, I think it's important to clarify the difference between introversion and extroversion, as it is only related to "people and social skills" in an indirect way.

The difference between introversion and extroversion is really related to where you draw your strength -- where you recharge your batteries.

Introverts recharge their batteries through solitary activity. Extroverts recharge their batteries through the company of others.

Most people who meet me at a party would swear I'm extroverted. They are shocked to discover I'm deeply introverted.

I know very introverted people who are the life of the party, who have great people skills, and who can speak in front of large groups with no problems.

Introverts may struggle to learn these skills, but it's not impossible. These skills, like many others, are within your grasp -- and you don't have to change your nature to learn them.


My advice? Embrace what you are, and learn the skills you desire.