Is crying really important ?

[locked]

I lost my friend recently.. i miss him a lot.. he meant a lot to me we were best pals but the thing is i dint cry like every other person at his home was.. i am not stone hearted neither emotionless but still i dint cry much.. i am deeply in grief because of his sudden demise as i lost my buddy..my companion of each high and low of life but i am also feeling guilty that why i dint cry.. is it really important for one to cry to show that yes he felt bad,hurt ??
i guess this is a little absurd question but it has been blocking my mind from long time..

LOCKED

[ZephyrusX]

People grieve differently. When I was around 13 or so, my dad died and I really didn't cry that much. I think during his entire illness and death, I cried may be three times very briefly. I felt bad about it because I had this cultural image in my head where you are suppose to grieve a certain way - like wail and pound your naked chest with your fist (ok, I'm over exaggerating ), and so, I got it in my head that I didn't care as much for him as I was suppose to. Not true. I'm just not a public crier. I was more in shock the first few days after his death.

People can still grieve years down the road too. I said I'm not a public crier, but listening to music alone makes me cry more frequently, and often, I am actually grieving for people I have loss years after the fact.

I think it is important to honor your own unique way of grieving. There is nothing wrong with you. Just do what feels right.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Originally Posted by locked

I lost my friend recently.. i miss him a lot.. he meant a lot to me we were best pals but the thing is i dint cry like every other person at his home was.. i am not stone hearted neither emotionless but still i dint cry much.. i am deeply in grief because of his sudden demise as i lost my buddy..my companion of each high and low of life but i am also feeling guilty that why i dint cry.. is it really important for one to cry to show that yes he felt bad,hurt ??
i guess this is a little absurd question but it has been blocking my mind from long time..

LOCKED

[RonSouther]

You're "watching" life play out in you...that's good.

You're also judging what you see...that's bad.

Just observe and allow what you see to be.

[newkaren]

Originally Posted by locked

I lost my friend recently.. i miss him a lot.. he meant a lot to me we were best pals but the thing is i dint cry like every other person at his home was.. i am not stone hearted neither emotionless but still i dint cry much.. i am deeply in grief because of his sudden demise as i lost my buddy..my companion of each high and low of life but i am also feeling guilty that why i dint cry.. is it really important for one to cry to show that yes he felt bad,hurt ??
i guess this is a little absurd question but it has been blocking my mind from long time..

LOCKED

First you might just still be in shock.

Letting out emotions is important. If you do this w/o crying... good. If by not crying you are bottling things up, bad.

[locked]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

People grieve differently. When I was around 13 or so, my dad died and I really didn't cry that much. I think during his entire illness and death, I cried may be three times very briefly. I felt bad about it because I had this cultural image in my head where you are suppose to grieve a certain way - like wail and pound your naked chest with your fist (ok, I'm over exaggerating ), and so, I got it in my head that I didn't care as much for him as I was suppose to. Not true. I'm just not a public crier. I was more in shock the first few days after his death.

People can still grieve years down the road too. I said I'm not a public crier, but listening to music alone makes me cry more frequently, and often, I am actually grieving for people I have loss years after the fact.

I think it is important to honor your own unique way of grieving. There is nothing wrong with you. Just do what feels right.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thanks for understanding me.. emotionally i face a lot of situations which you have mentioned. I ask my self sometimes that am i stone hearted ? or am i not in grief about loss ? but i think that i like suffering silently..dont like to advertise them or as u said.. may be i am also not public crier.

[locked]

Originally Posted by newkaren

First you might just still be in shock.

Letting out emotions is important. If you do this w/o crying... good. If by not crying you are bottling things up, bad.

Its not that i am bottling things up but since childhood i have a habit of being reserved , not telling my thoughts or whats in my mind. I can say here whatever i have in heart because i dont know you people..its being done so anonymously. U can say i fear that what will be his reply ( my known person ) or i am afraid that what will he think about me.
In this case i cry but when i am alone , seeing our photos , remembering our moments but there are no tears from eyes but my heart gently weeps.

[Andrew Gubb]

I think you may be in shock. It might take a while before the tears come, you're still processing the fact that this even happened.