Is this just paranoia?

[AmySafekeeping]

I live in an okay neighbourhood, there are creeps but there are families too. I'm always scared that something bad will happen to my parents when they go out to buy groceries at 8.30 PM. They have to come through inside dark buildings, and even though there are people (creeps and families) there and it takes a minute to walk through. I'm scared for them. They are old and wouldn't be able to defend themselves if the situation arises.

They don't want to carry weapons or learn how to defend themselves. I'm sure if anything does happen, no one would help. I don't think anything would happen but I'm paranoid and my medications are making my paranoia worse.

My dad also goes out to throw the garbage late in the night (sometimes). It takes 30 seconds to walk down the stairs of our building and even though there's a watchman there, he sometimes lets weird people in by mistake. I don't know if the watchman is there all the time though.

ONE THING I KNOW IS THAT PEOPLE WOULDN'T HELP IF ANYTHING HAPPENS. They just don't want to get involved. Kidnappers and attackers have this advantage, and I don't understand why they don't go crazy all the time and just constantly attack people.

I also rarely leave the house alone because I'm scared I might get raped.

I was watching a video on YouTube about a girl who got raped and disfigured because of what the attacker did to her. It happened at 9PM and there were people around but no one did anything to help her. How? No one even bothered to call the cops. I'm insanely scared and I'm shaking. I just want someone to talk to.

I found a thread on this site about rape and how to defend yourself, but what about others? How do I protect others from getting attacked?

[RonSouther]

Could you take a self-defense course? Sign up for martial arts?

Whatever you can do to increase your intelligence at the same time reduces your fear.

Here's an example, hypothetical but you can imagine this.

You're on a plane and you don't know how to fly. You at the controls and you know your life depends upon you landing this plane. But you know nothing about flying! FEAR!!! TERROR!!!!

Now put a seasoned pilot in the same situation and tell him his life depends upon him landing this plane. He will laugh and with incredible finesse, bring the plane to the runway with a smooth landing.

The difference? Experience, awareness, intelligence about the task at hand. If you're worried about your physical safety, then go learn how to protect yourself from professionals. Get hands on training and learn what devices you can carry. Get some experience with these things like pepper spray so that you get an idea how powerful it is, e.g.

Life is too short to live in fear. I was a pro....spent 44 years scared to live. Fear Self Help - Why Am I Afraid of Living - Profound-Self-Help.com

[AmySafekeeping]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Could you take a self-defense course? Sign up for martial arts?

Whatever you can do to increase your intelligence at the same time reduces your fear.

Here's an example, hypothetical but you can imagine this.

You're on a plane and you don't know how to fly. You at the controls and you know your life depends upon you landing this plane. But you know nothing about flying! FEAR!!! TERROR!!!!

Now put a seasoned pilot in the same situation and tell him his life depends upon him landing this plane. He will laugh and with incredible finesse, bring the plane to the runway with a smooth landing.

The difference? Experience, awareness, intelligence about the task at hand. If you're worried about your physical safety, then go learn how to protect yourself from professionals. Get hands on training and learn what devices you can carry. Get some experience with these things like pepper spray so that you get an idea how powerful it is, e.g.

Life is too short to live in fear. I was a pro....spent 44 years scared to live. Fear Self Help - Why Am I Afraid of Living - Profound-Self-Help.com

I could, but I'm still very worried about my parents.

[AmySafekeeping]

@RonSouther: But how do I protect my family when I'm not with them?

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by AmySafekeeping

@RonSouther: But how do I protect my family when I'm not with them?

How can you protect them when you are worried about your own safety? This side of life first starts with you being able to take care of you. In order for you to have something to give to another, you first have to have it for yourself.

What you have now for you and for them is fear. That's not helping anyone.

[AmySafekeeping]

@RonSouther: I like that site a lot. It helped me calm down a bit. I'm always afraid for my parent's safety, and I will try to go and learn how to protect myself.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by AmySafekeeping

@RonSouther: I like that site a lot. It helped me calm down a bit. I'm always afraid for my parent's safety, and I will try to go and learn how to protect myself.

Great, I'm glad you're feeling better! More proof that fear is an emotion and not a reality. The reality would be if you or your parents are being attacked right now but they aren't. You are all safe.

Have you asked your parents if they are fearful of crime against them? We always, always project our mindset onto others rather than letting them speak and live for themselves. So it's important to hear from them, listen and accept that they are responsible for themselves in the end.

Obviously, I don't know all the details so please forgive me if I am not speaking for the sitaution as you know it. I'm more speaking in general terms.

[AmySafekeeping]

@RonSouther: I have and they both said that it's safe. Nothing's happened to them before. However, when I'm alone (I'm a girl) I get weird men approaching me all the time. That's why I'm worried.

[ButterflyWoman]

Like most constant fears, this isn't really about your parents so much as it is about you. You're afraid of losing them in some way, and below that, there's a fear of being alone, or of being abandoned, and probably some other things that only you will be able to uncover.

In the case of continual fear, the best way to relieve it is to find the root of it and pull that out. That can take quite some time, of course, but it's worth the effort. Being captive to fear is a terrible way to live. (And I say all this as someone who spent most of her life being afraid.)

[Acting Like Godot]

Unless you happen to be living in a "bad" part of town, I think that you're probably a little paranoid.

[AmySafekeeping]

@ButterflyWoman: I just don't want anything bad to happen to them. I've seen what can happen, and I don't want it. But yes, I'll look into that fear.

@Acting Like Godot: It's not really bad, but there are creepy men about.

[AmySafekeeping]

Someone help me...

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by AmySafekeeping

Someone help me...

Please share Amy....

[AmySafekeeping]

I asked another forum if they would help if they saw or heard someone getting kidnapped/beaten, and most said they wouldn't want to get involved even by just giving information to the police. Why?

[JSB]

Check out the site below for some very useful advice. He teaches self-defense and how to keep you and your loved one's safe. It's not about fighting criminals; it's about learning how dangerous situations escalate and how to spot them and avoid or defuse them before they get to the point of violence.

No Nonsense Self Defense - Reliable information for dangerous situations


"Do you need to become a martial arts master to defend yourself? Do you need to become a paranoid survivalist in order to be safe? Do you need to buy a stock pile of guns?

No.

Are you going to have to use a little common sense? Yes. And that isn't that hard. But in order to have common sense in the first place, you must understand what's actually involved in the problem. Once you have solid information, then making the right decisions for a situation is easy."

--Marc MacYoung

[AmySafekeeping]

@JSB: Thank you! I hope these work if I need it.