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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 124
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Some of us want to change our height, som taller and some others shorter (I'm guessing the latter mostly). I'm not quite sure, myself. Have I had the desire to? Yes, but is it for a good reason, or is it just from a fundamental insecurity, something that it would only be a bandaid to cover? I guess I'm around 180 cm, probably not less than 5 10'. From wikipedia I guess I'm around average, or average-minus. Funny thing is, lately it seems that most people, at least men, are taller than me. It seems like men are about my height or taller. I even see quite a few women who are taller than me (I don't care to see if they're wearing heels, though). For some reason I have been focusing a lot on it lately, so maybe that is why I'm seeing so many people that are taller than me. Though it seems pretty much self-activated: I can hardly remember anyone calling me short before. It certainly hasn't been a running joke anywhere, aimed at me. It seems to be more desirable for a man to be on the taller side (i.e. people look upon you more favorably, not just that women like you more). Myself, I've always found it weird when a woman is with a shorter guy. I don't really find the thought of hooking up with a taller woman desirable (and supposedly vice versa, or even from what I've heard it might be even more pronounced for women). In general, it seems to be favorable for any person to be tall, as far as perception of their health and virility goes. I've never really cared about my height, even though when I grew up my mother would for some reason always compare me and my friends stature by standing us up against each other. She commented half a year ago about one of my cousins: "... but you're taller than him", and I was like "Why does that matter at all?" and all she said was something about being able to more easily see above a crowd of people... ok. Is being tall such an asset? I guess if you bring up physical prowess, it has been my experience that it is harder to sparr (box) against taller guys, since they have longer arms. So for survivability (I know a lot of you guys like that evo-psych), I guess it has some perks. As far as my body-type, I am an mesomorph (judging by that I have a bit of muscle on my frame naturally, and I can gain fat if I don't at least watch my diet a bit as opposed to some 'ectomorphs'...). So would I change my height if I could? I don't know yet. All I know is that I'm too immature yet to make such a decision (well if it would be reversible, I guess go for it...). Do I need it to attract women? Well, I should approach women more before I start worrying about stuff like that, so that's out the window for now. Would it make me more attractive? It sure seems that way. But would it 'fit' me? Would I be comfortable with it? Maybe I actually look better with my stature. They say the grass is always greener on the other side. But it doesn't seem to be the perceptoin of taller people, though. What I conclude with is that I should find out why I obsess so much over my stature. Maybe it turns out to be mostly in my head. What about you? |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 124
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If I would change my height, I imagined it would be to 182,5 - 186 cm. I don't think I would like more than that. Well, it might be cool if my frame also widened: so that I wouldn't look so skinny. I've never really found people that are very tall and very skinny attractive (in the aesthetic sense). Do girls like that? Evolutionary speaking, they seem very suspectible to a down-low rugby tackle |
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| | #3 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 63
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nope. 'what if' questions don't have much value for me; they're like a mouse-maze with no cheese at the end... there's nothing useful to me that would result from that kind of question. when it comes to physical form, i look at it as "i got what i got and that's what i got". of course, some things about physical form can certainly be changed and improved - weight, muscle tone, etc. - and i'll take actions for personal improvement where possible, sure. But height can't be changed, so i don't bother even going there. realistically speaking, i'm aware that i may not be the prettiest thing in the world, or the smartest, or whatever - but that doesn't matter to me. i'm not very competetive and don't really care how i compare to others. i work with what i got, to the best of my ability. and however i am, is fine. and i couldn't care less how tall or short a man is - it has nothing to do with the guy's character. whether or not i like him or find him attractive has nothing whatsoever to do with height. now if he didn't have any teeth, or he only had three and they were nasty, that would be an issue - but height? nah. Last edited by AllTogetherNow; 12-12-2011 at 04:26 PM. |
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| | #5 (permalink) | ||
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 124
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| | #6 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 63
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yah, i hear you FocusDriblet. height just isn't important to me - for myself nor as a barometer of attractiveness in a man - so i wouldn't bother even if it was a possibility. that wouldn't even make my list of things to expend my energy on. |
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| | #8 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 24
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Yes, although I am reasonably tall (1.77 m). I went to the disco and one of the girls from my college, was wearing very high heels and she was towering over me. I felt ridiculous, although that wasn't the only thing preventing me from asking her out.
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,885
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Well, I am a woman and I think it is more socially acceptable for a woman to be short, but I am very short! I like the idea of making peace with your body more so than forever altering it in order to meet some social standard. If you choose to alter your body, where does it really end? I think the height thing is rather sad as there is actually an operation out there for children that will break their bones so that they will grow more in life. It must hurt like hell. I think I watched a doc on it, and if I remember correctly, it wasn't just parents with children who have some form... of... er dwarfism (is that the correct word now a days?). It was also parents making that decision because they were afraid their children were going to be below average in height. But yah... In the end, it is really your body. Just do what you think it is right in the end. I take it you were thinking of using LOA? |
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| | #10 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Australia
Posts: 2,547
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I actually cried cause my parents wouldn't let me get my leg bones broken to make me taller I copped a lot growing up because I was so short...so I guess I had a really negative impression of my height which always made me want to be taller. I sometimes think I'd be happy being "average short", you know... about 5'2" or so... so I'd be short without bein an "OMG you're SHORT" type of short There are times when I sort of come to terms with it, but other times when I'd love to be just that wee bit taller (I'm also at an age where my kids' friends are all getting taller than me... and of course kids always comment on it because they so rarely see adults that they're taller than when they're in teh 10-11 year old range). I know people don't mean to be cruel, but whenever people comment on it, it sort of gives me a blow to the old self esteem... It's a remnant of all the hangups I had growing up, but it's still surprising how sensitive I am about it I think! | |
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| | #11 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Malaysia
Posts: 184
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LOL...this thread really attracted my attention and the answer would be a definite YES. It is not that I am ungrateful with my height, it is just that i feel that we can do something with our height and we can increase it no matter how old we are.
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| | #12 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 8,749
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All things being equal I would choose to be a bit taller. There are a few advantages that you get from it. US presidents are quite tall. I however don't think that it's an area where you get much for the effort you put into. There are things that are much more important than your height. Quote:
I find it a bit weird to dance with girl that's taller than me. When it comes to dating girls I would prefer a girl that's shorter than me. | |
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| | #13 (permalink) | ||
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,885
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I don't like the 'OMG, you're short!' comments either. I know it is just surprise, but for someone to make something as seemingly trivial (in my mind at least) as my height to be so important that they'll literally make an exclamation about it is a bit annoying. It is not as if my height is the defining characteristic of who I am, but that is the impression that they give me when I get those sort of comments. There is a very tenuous relationship between my height and the type of assumptions people make about me, and although it annoys me to hear them (i.e you must be really weak!), I can always prove them flat out wrong. Quote:
For the most part, I am sort of oblivious to my height unless someone comments on it (which doesn't really happen that often) or if my height impedes me from doing something (getting groceries that are on the top shelf). I can always make a game out of the latter option, like 'Go steal the clerk's ladder when he isn't looking!' I do remember that as a child, I really really wanted to grow more though. I'm not sure what I would do if I was the parent and my child had that desire. I know that with time one can make peace with their body, but knowing that doesn't someone negate the distress my children would be feeling at that given moment. Quote:
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| | #17 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,157
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You are 5'10! Why are you worried about women being taller than you? 5'10 is plenty tall. I'm 5'2. I have thought that maybe it would be fun to be a little shorter, but I like this height (and I already have to buy children's clothing |
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| | #18 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Malaysia
Posts: 184
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Although I am considered quite tall in my college, but still there are room for jealousies inside my heart hehe. Well, I guess although heights does matter in life but what matters most is how you carry yourself around no matter what height you are. There are many people in my college who are short but so damn confident in life. |
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| | #21 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,885
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haha - I always feel way mature when I go shopping in the childrens' section. There are a few retail stores that have extra small clothing that will fit me, but most places just seem to have small sizes, which don't fit. Shopping for clothing is a pain in the ass. |
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| | #22 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Homeless
Posts: 3,548
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I'm 176cm, I remember growing up I wanted to be short. The thing is a lot of guys where thick ass shoes. I remember a friend grow shoes that gave him 3 inches, it was so obvious. I think being 180cm is quite good, socially I think that height is an asset. |
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| | #24 (permalink) | ||
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,157
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| | #25 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,520
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Okey doke, this morning I can feel myself unfurling -- I felt taller and more upright as I did my walking workout. As I relax more and more, the little bent-over stichiness at my belly button is beginning to ease and loosen, and my head rides up higher in the sky, easily and effortlessly, as I see with a new higher perspective each time I walk around the neighborhood, and see what the neighbors have done with holiday lights. Taller and taller!
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| | #26 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Mississauga, On Canada
Posts: 1,502
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If I could, maybe I would so that perhaps I could have dated more taller women and pursued ice hockey seriously - it would have been a neat idea to represent my country in hockey and play in the NHL (one of my childhood dreams). But I'm fine with my relatively short 5' 7" stature especially since I can't change it. I won't get worked up on things I can't control but the question was 'if' I could change my height, would I? So this is just a hypothetical, but kind of fun thread. When I realized that the late, great Bruce Lee, who happens to be my life long hero, was also only 5' 7", I'm certainly not worried about my own height As far as women are concerned, there are more than enough petite ladies out there for guys like me and as for the hockey dream, that's okay to leave it as a childhood dream since I've accomplished much in other athletics, namely in martial arts and skiing. So I'm satisfied with the lack of height. |
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| | #27 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,853
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I'm 6'2 currently (about 188cm). I could go for 6 feet even. I run into some stupid problems, such as not being able to fit into minivans, not being able to find shoes, and finding that many North American beds aren't long enough. My brother is 6'4. I feel sorry for him |
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| | #28 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany
Posts: 8,749
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If I however have no good first impression than it doesn't make sense to start the dating process. When it comes to dancing I dance a bit I do dance out of social decency a bit with a girl who's a little bit taller than me. It wasn't enough to change how I feel about it. | |
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| | #29 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: France - Japan - Korea
Posts: 3,241
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What I find scarier is that his sister is the same size! | |
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| | #30 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 9
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Here in China, people are literally obsessed with their children's height. Parents give them all kind of supplements, calcium, whey, vitamins...and it seems it's working, young generations are at least as high as in developed countries. Some grown young people even have some kind of mysterious surgical intervention aiming to gain 10 cm...Short people are usually dispised and have harder time to find a good job, considering it's very common to read jobs ads with requirements like" Must be taller than 1,70m" no matter the industry or the kind of job...Sad reality.
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