Situational Grief related to past experiences

[Prinie]

Too much for the forum.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Prinie

Too much for the forum.

Your title says it all....

Here's a quote I heard today....

You just have to be aware. when the past starts coming in the mind, just relax, quiet yourself, still yourself. Just remain alert, not even verbalization is needed. Just know that the past is gone: there is no use chewing over it again and again.

People use the past as a chewing gum; they go on chewing it. nothing comes out of a gum -- it is not nutritious; it is just futile -- but just through the exercise of the mouth one feels good. Just the exercise of the mind, and one feels as if one is doing something worthwhile.

Just remain alert, and if you can be alert about the past you will become aware, by and by, that the future has disappeared the mind, just relax, quiet yourself, still yourself. Just remain alert, not even verbalization is needed. just know that the past is gone: there is no use chewing over it again and again.

This is what future is. You are choosing a part of the past, glorifying it, decorating it, and imagining that in the future you will again and again have those moments of happiness -- of course more magnified, more inflated. And you will never have the pain that you had to pass through in the past. This is what future is.

Once the past disappears, it does not disappear alone. It also takes the future with it. Suddenly you are here, now -- time stops. This moment which is not of time I call meditation... This moment which is not of time Jesus calls 'the kingdom of god'.

Just remember it more and more. nothing is to be done, only remembrance -- a deep remembrance which follows you like breathing whatsoever you are doing, which remains somewhere in the heart. Just a deep remembrance that the past has to be dropped -- and future goes with it. Here/now is the door; from here/now you pass from the world into god, you pass from the without to the within. Osho

[Prinie]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Your title says it all....

Here's a quote I heard today....

Thanks Ronny. I'm processing the emotions. Sometimes they grip me and wrap around my rib cage from time to time. I don't fight it...just kinda relax into it. I'll be fine.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Prinie

Thanks Ronny. I'm processing the emotions. Sometimes they grip me and wrap around my rib cage from time to time. I don't fight it...just kinda relax into it. I'll be fine.

Yes!! You will be fine!! Because the emotions are NOT real life! They are mental, whether fun ones like infatuation or ugly ones like fear or depression.

See if this rings true....if you elbow hurts, are "you" hurt? You know that it's you elbow and the feeling is distracting. But you know your elbow isn't you....one way to check...amputate your arm....the elbow is gone, yet you remain.

With the mind it's harder to feel that separation. But you do, your language reveals it. You're watching your mind and you know that emotional states pass. By not getting identified as the emotion or not letting the emotion take you for a ride, acting out the emotion in words or actions, the emotion will pass faster.

For example, if you feel jealous, but let it ride itself out, then quickly your mind will be onto something else. But if you start acting out the jealousy, interrogated your beloved, more problems are created, leading to more reasons to be stuck in your thoughts trying to sort out life.

If we know that emotions come and go then we are fools to make them public. We do stupid things. Best to recognize the steadfastness that is watching the emotions and allow that to be our foundation in life. That is our true center.

The more we stay there, the easier life is. The more we go with emotions the harder life is.

[Prinie]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Yes!! You will be fine!! Because the emotions are NOT real life! They are mental, whether fun ones like infatuation or ugly ones like fear or depression.

See if this rings true....if you elbow hurts, are "you" hurt? You know that it's you elbow and the feeling is distracting. But you know your elbow isn't you....one way to check...amputate your arm....the elbow is gone, yet you remain.

With the mind it's harder to feel that separation. But you do, your language reveals it. You're watching your mind and you know that emotional states pass. By not getting identified as the emotion or not letting the emotion take you for a ride, acting out the emotion in words or actions, the emotion will pass faster.

For example, if you feel jealous, but let it ride itself out, then quickly your mind will be onto something else. But if you start acting out the jealousy, interrogated your beloved, more problems are created, leading to more reasons to be stuck in your thoughts trying to sort out life.

If we know that emotions come and go then we are fools to make them public. We do stupid things. Best to recognize the steadfastness that is watching the emotions and allow that to be our foundation in life. That is our true center.

The more we stay there, the easier life is. The more we go with emotions the harder life is.

You're so excited! Yeah, I agree with you for the most part. There is a permanent stillness underneath all of the fray. I just call it my light. But I love expressing myself. I feel like I learn when I do.

Anyways, wanna know what the trigger was? Not sharing out of fear. I had an opportunity to tell the honest truth and a part of my experiences and because I didn't take that chance, I created a wall and locked myself behind it. It started creeping up from below (yes, I felt it rising from my gut) and bit by bit started eating away to my ribs so that it felt like pins and needles and teeth were nipping at me. I had to sit with that truth throughout the entire night and morning all cause I was too scared to share it...

Lesson learned...I hope.