Always paranoid

[sharshar89]

Why is it that although I have written down a note where I type down all the past paranoias that I have and that I have "solved" and it seriously shows ALOT of evidence that they never come true and it is all in my mind..However my mind keeps coming out with new paranoias and I'm as fearful as them as when I have not started the note typing..Its like endless distress..Are there better ways since my mind does not recognize logic?

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

Why is it that although I have written down a note where I type down all the past paranoias that I have and that I have "solved" and it seriously shows ALOT of evidence that they never come true and it is all in my mind..However my mind keeps coming out with new paranoias and I'm as fearful as them as when I have not started the note typing..Its like endless distress..Are there better ways since my mind does not recognize logic?

Notes are thoughts on paper. Paranoia is thoughts in your head. You're using thoughts to diffuse your thoughts, and think that because you've written about paranoia that you're aware of it.

Thoughts about thoughts are not awareness, though. Thinking about thinking does not make you more aware of your thoughts, it just produces more thoughts to think about. In this case, your problem (paranoia) isn't your actual problem. Your real problem is the broken solution you obsessively use over and over again, which prevents you from finding a real solution.

So you can throw away your notes. All you need to gain awareness is to stop expecting it to come from things like a list of your past paranoias. Your list will never save you. You don't have to stop thinking, you just have to stop expecting it to work. Once you give up on your obsession with thinking as a solution, you'll naturally become more aware, and your paranoia should recede.

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by The Cloud

Notes are thoughts on paper. Paranoia is thoughts in your head. You're using thoughts to diffuse your thoughts, and think that because you've written about paranoia that you're aware of it.

Thoughts about thoughts are not awareness, though. Thinking about thinking does not make you more aware of your thoughts, it just produces more thoughts to think about. In this case, your problem (paranoia) isn't your actual problem. Your real problem is the broken solution you obsessively use over and over again, which prevents you from finding a real solution.

So you can throw away your notes. All you need to gain awareness is to stop expecting it to come from things like a list of your past paranoias. Your list will never save you. You don't have to stop thinking, you just have to stop expecting it to work. Once you give up on your obsession with thinking as a solution, you'll naturally become more aware, and your paranoia should recede.

You mean I should stop any efforts to reduce paranoia? Even if I did not write those notes Im still paranoid in many situations..My mind never rest..So I came up with writing notes to make me aware that those are thoughts which does not exist..My thoughts did not come true and will never come true..Even though there are too many evidences my mind likes to create new paranoias and still believe they will happen.

[ScyllaAndara]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

You mean I should stop any efforts to reduce paranoia? Even if I did not write those notes Im still paranoid in many situations..My mind never rest..So I came up with writing notes to make me aware that those are thoughts which does not exist..My thoughts did not come true and will never come true..Even though there are too many evidences my mind likes to create new paranoias and still believe they will happen.

While I don't post on this forum very often or use it very often, my everything being stretched far too thin lately, I can tell you I used to be very paranoid. Part of how I got out of it was being put on the right dose/timing of medications. I'm on Ativan and Zyprexa. That's it. No more, no less. Some medication can have evil side effects as in, creating what you do not need anymore.

Allow me to explain my paranoia as I used to know it. You made me think about how much I've changed since I had it. For one thing, I was afraid of people. I was afraid of them looking at me as pretty. I hated walking into bars and clubs. I avoid bars and clubs. I just do what I feel comfortable doing. Working on psychic shielding has certainly helped me not overly feel other people's stuff, which added to my paranoia since I was told that my feelings as an empathic person were not real let alone my energy sensitivity. I don't know if you understand yourself that way.

As a paranoid person, I knew I wasn't schizophrenic but I knew that I was suspicious of many people. It took a lot to trust the friends I know now that I met in college. I still trust them. There is no jealousy between us that happens in female friendships. If we have issues, we confront it. That was another paranoid issue I dealt with, the quality of my friendships, whether or not I could trust someone. I was burned by someone schizoaffective- very much burned. She was headed down the path of alcoholism/not taking her meds as prescribed. We parted ways.

She would magnify my paranoia when I went out so my advice next is to choose your company carefully. I found the following books to be imminently helpful since my paranoia mostly revolved around relationships or whether or not people were going to bully me, criticize me, or make me feel bad about myself.

http://www.amazon.com/Understanding-...3329165&sr=8-1

This book is very helpful. I didn't have many "the X-rays are coming out of my body" types of paranoia. I realized everybody has dirty underwear. Just because I'm aware of how people feel about their undies doesn't mean that they are. For empaths, this is what made it better, understanding the source of the emotions I was filtering as not myself.

The next book is what saved my life. Not to get too religious on you but I learned how to accept divine help into my life.

Amazon.com: Overcoming Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts: A Self-Help Guide Using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (9780465011094): Daniel Freeman: Books

I created a baseline as to why I was fearful of calling on angels or Deity to help me when I was feeling bad.

Now I can control myself. Last night I had two hot chocolates and I didn't get too bent out of shape driving to a friends' house. I survived being "out" and I looked at people's auras at a convenience store without flipping out about perceiving the energy. These days on the whole I'm doing much better. Whining serves its purpose but I really see how much I have worked hard. You've got to let your mind rest. You've got to start seeing how you can still your thoughts.

Practice meditation/grounding. Still your mind. You have more will over what you were taught. (I'm poking around psychically here to read your situation, not very much since I know you don't want that too much). I used to have layers and layers of paranoid feelings. The majority of this has now been fixed. I'm very grateful. I learned that I have a very strong mind.

[ScyllaAndara]

Also, I may want to add that I have anxiety as well as paranoia or had paranoia. My anxiety still persists. There is a difference between purely anxious states and paranoia. The key is to learn the difference in a solid way that yields results when you start shifting your thoughts. Your therapist can only point the way.

[The Cloud]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

You mean I should stop any efforts to reduce paranoia? Even if I did not write those notes Im still paranoid in many situations..My mind never rest..So I came up with writing notes to make me aware that those are thoughts which does not exist..My thoughts did not come true and will never come true..Even though there are too many evidences my mind likes to create new paranoias and still believe they will happen.

Look at it this way; you wrote the notes to solve your problem. They didn't. The fact that writing notes was the solution that you came up with, and that your solution didn't work, is exactly the problem; all the solutions you choose are the wrong kind of solutions.

That makes it worse than doing nothing at all, because it makes you think you're doing something when you're really not, which prevents you from ever doing something that will actually help you. Before you can find something that works, you have to stop doing what doesn't work, which means you need to stop trying to solve the problem.

I know it's frightening to give up on trying to stop your paranoia, because you feels like it's going to take over if you do nothing to stop it. When you feel that fear, just remember that nothing you've ever done to stop it has actually worked. That means that what you've been doing is already as good as nothing, so there shouldn't be any new problems if you actually start doing nothing. You're never worse off when you stop doing what doesn't work.

The true answer to your problems will only become apparent in the absence of false answers. Once you have entirely given up on trying to resolve your issues the way you usually do, you will be able to find a real solution that works. It will take time, courage, and awareness, but if you really want to be free of the problem, you first have to free yourself of false solutions.