Darkworker Detached

[Raife]

Hey everyone, I'm new to this but have a problem I was hoping someone could help me with.

A few months ago I began my "descent" into Darkworking, and found it very immersing. I have very limited understanding of it, but found things like the Foci Exercise and the Laws of Darkworking very powerful. I find myself drawn to many of the concepts and theories outlined by Asmoday and Illustro Cado on the Crimson Curtain site. Lately I have felt more control and love for myself, and my life has improved as a result. I feel my understanding of self deepening, and have begun to accept my potential.

However, lately I feel this strange detachment from everything. Unreality has laid siege to my mind, nothing feels real anymore. I also feel slightly cold. I understand the importance of controlling emotions and converting them based on need, but I don't love this feeling of withdrawal from emotion. I practice meditation daily, which helps, but I still cannot shake this unnerving sense that my life is not real. I can only describe as saying it is dream-like, hazy and blurry. It seems as if the consequences of my actions suddenly hold little to no significance to me anymore, which is slightly disturbing to me. I find focus becoming increasingly difficult as well. This problem isn't earth-shattering, but it is quite disconcerting and is getting worse.

Has anyone ever experienced similar senses of unreality? Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[Partaker]

I can relate to your second paragraph 100% right now. The feeling of my life once again being nothing but a movie that I am watching has been troubling me lately. I personally feel that I get like this when I am in a state of depression. I think when my mind becomes overloaded with anxiety/stress I detach as a means of self defense. Although this is a weird and troubling mental state, it seems to be the breaking point where I realize I need to take better care of my mind.

I have no knowledge of what a darkworker is .. just personal experience with that detached feeling. Which you did a great job of putting a hard to describe feeling into words. I hope you can find your comfortable balance between reality and unreality.