Work to heal childhood abandonment & rejection

[Greek Dog]

I have been doing healing work using Dr. Jeffrey Schwartz' 4 steps. I have made progress. But healing progress means that as I heal more and deeper wounds are revealed to be healed. So paradoxically, the more healing I experience the more pain I experience. But only in going into this pain can I experience healing.

The healing is necessary because the pain has ruled my life. It has been so great that I have lived for many years in a form of shut down. That is not living.

My emotional pain is help in specific places in my body. I feel it. The places accessible to be worked on at this time is the sinus cavity behind my left eyebrow and my throat area, probably my thyroid.

I have begun using meditation that I have practices off and on across the years but that my pain has been so great as to actually heighten during meditation. Now I am focusing on the Light of Christ and a healing voice. Holding this light present with the pain is difficult but it dissolves it. I believe that with daily repetition I will see true shifts in healing in 11 weeks. And so I begin this 11 week work today.

This pain I live with is from childhood and it works and operates in me in childish ways. It is not rational and does not respond to reason. My adult mind has gone after it with reason. Spiritual healing accessed by prayer goes around the reason to get at the wounds that were processed by a child unaware of what what happening to her but feeling the pain acutely and believing that it was because I was bad and worth little.

This is a lonely journey. I hope the healing will also bring connection with others.