Missing my ex :(

[Blore]

I'm upset, so I thought it'd be a good idea to just post about it and get it out there. I feel lonely, and theres not really anyone I can talk to about this.

In a nutshell I miss my ex boyfriend, we broke up almost a month ago. I miss him so much. It didn't really end well, he's bitter and cold to me now. He tells me how happy he is without me, and that he doesn't care about me. But I don't think people who are happy are mean and cold. He told me that he's gotten sick of me.

From past experiences from when things went wrong in the relationship, He tends to close up and get mean. He's not the kind of person to express that he's hurt, he's never really learned how to deal with emotions, and had a tough childhood.

I don't know, maybe i'm over analyzing, and trying to justify everything. I just wish I could we could try and give it another go. I miss him so much. It just hit me so hard right now, I usually can just be blank about it, but it just hit me and I miss him so much it kills me, and I hope so much that he misses me too.

I don't really have any friends to hang out with, my only real friend is my cousin, and she doesn't really talk to me anymore, so i'm generally alone.

I just don't know what to think, or how to stop missing him. Bleh.

[nistacular]

I'm sorry I know how it can be...

I think you're right in your analysis though... he's probably not happy. He is simply unwilling to show his weakness. It's a part of him that he's ashamed of, but he doesn't know how to deal with. This sounds like a problem rooted in his childhood. But there isn't much you can do, which is okay. Let him come to you. Think about what first attracted you to him... don't depend on someone for the sake of love... love should be made in the moment.

He probably thinks about you a lot. But it's here where you have to choose your battles... loneliness sucks, yes... but loneliness is always temporary whether you're with him or not. Go out and explore the world, meet people, don't be afraid. Wish you the best of luck ~

[Blore]

Originally Posted by nistacular

I'm sorry I know how it can be...

I think you're right in your analysis though... he's probably not happy. He is simply unwilling to show his weakness. It's a part of him that he's ashamed of, but he doesn't know how to deal with. This sounds like a problem rooted in his childhood. But there isn't much you can do, which is okay. Let him come to you. Think about what first attracted you to him... don't depend on someone for the sake of love... love should be made in the moment.

He probably thinks about you a lot. But it's here where you have to choose your battles... loneliness sucks, yes... but loneliness is always temporary whether you're with him or not. Go out and explore the world, meet people, don't be afraid. Wish you the best of luck ~

Thank you for responding. I'm really glad you agree with me, makes me feel like I might be so crazy after all. What you said rings very true, about him being unwilling to show his weakness, he's told me before that growing up he was basically taught to be weak, and emotions were a weakness because someone could take advantage of them.

I really hope he does come to me, I wasn't exactly a saint in our relationship, and we had a lot of tough times, but we also had a lot of great times. He told me once that he wanted to be with me forever, and I don't think he's the kind of person to say that lightly.

[Manasarovar]

It's pretty normal to miss an ex. And it'll totally get better with time. Instead of analyzing whether he's happy or not, without you, you can start going out on dates again, learn new stuff, travel, dance, whatever...and have some fun.

I wish you the best.

[fantasydreamer]

Hi blore,

I feel exactly like that today! Today I went christmas shopping and I was like...gosh coz it's my vacation right now I have more time to think of my ex and what I could possibly would have been doing had I still been with him, like last christmas we spent christmas together and went christmas shopping together so I feel so blue right now...

I also dont have a lot of people to talk to ... as in really close friends, plus i dont want to burden everyone else with my problems...it's so hard I feel like I am so alone in this world ...

its been 3mos

[Kait]

Originally Posted by Blore

I'm upset, so I thought it'd be a good idea to just post about it and get it out there. I feel lonely, and theres not really anyone I can talk to about this.

In a nutshell I miss my ex boyfriend, we broke up almost a month ago. I miss him so much. It didn't really end well, he's bitter and cold to me now. He tells me how happy he is without me, and that he doesn't care about me. But I don't think people who are happy are mean and cold. He told me that he's gotten sick of me.

From past experiences from when things went wrong in the relationship, He tends to close up and get mean. He's not the kind of person to express that he's hurt, he's never really learned how to deal with emotions, and had a tough childhood.

I don't know, maybe i'm over analyzing, and trying to justify everything. I just wish I could we could try and give it another go. I miss him so much. It just hit me so hard right now, I usually can just be blank about it, but it just hit me and I miss him so much it kills me, and I hope so much that he misses me too.

I don't really have any friends to hang out with, my only real friend is my cousin, and she doesn't really talk to me anymore, so i'm generally alone.

I just don't know what to think, or how to stop missing him. Bleh.

Hi Blore,

Well I just broke up with my boyfriend too. It hasn't been a month but I get what you're saying in your thread here.

My boyfriend said some cruel things to me too..but he has tried to apologize.
I'm having a hard time just getting over it.

Missing someone can hurt so bad. My advice and what I have read (and I'll be back to give you that URL so you have it) is you can still "love" him and be able to set him free.. Once I felt this, I felt better. Just let him be whatever...It doesn't change how you feel about him. It doesn't mean he will get back with you. It's for you to know and to deal with the loss.

I don't know how old you are, but you need to get out (and just think of youself) and what you like to do.

You and I have each other to talk too.

[Apresto]

To be missed for a man is a great feeling, even greater to the same of a woman. If it hasn't been so much long since you've broken up maybe giving him a little more time will give you something to talk about in the future, i.e. you'll both have stories to tell about oneself without the other and talk about how your life was without one another, but don't make the stories too interesting, though(if you know what I mean)

[Dandy]

Originally Posted by Blore

I'm upset, so I thought it'd be a good idea to just post about it and get it out there. I feel lonely, and theres not really anyone I can talk to about this.

In a nutshell I miss my ex boyfriend, we broke up almost a month ago. I miss him so much.

I am not trying to put you down but when someone is really cold and bitter he/she probably has a good reason. I remember when I once broke up with my girlfriend I told her that I will never ever talk to her. So I did that but she couldn't stand that situation and chased after me.

After that I really got sick of her but decided at least to say hello when I meet her (by accident of course).

I was REALLY happier without her. Maybe is time to stop thinking about him and find your own destiny.

[newkaren]

Originally Posted by Dandy

I was REALLY happier without her. Maybe is time to stop thinking about him and find your own destiny.

Yes, fill your time, when your find yourself thinking about him, change your thoughts. Move on as best you can.

[dreamlearner]

you are lucky to miss your ex.I dont even miss my ex,the pain she has given me

[JeanKitten]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm right there with you.

Its been 3 months since we broke up and a month since we went no contact. I still miss him so much. I constantly check his twitter and even go on g-chat just to see if he's logged on even though I never talk to him.

And I know what you mean about not wanting to burden people. Everyone thinks there is this timeline whereby you should stop caring or missing someone after a breakup. All your friends and family get tired of hearing about it and develop a "just get over it" attitude. Fairly quickly IMO. My mom thought I should get over it in like a day.

Time helps. I hope one day soon I will go through a whole day without crying over him and I am sure you will too.

Chin up.

[Ishh]

I felt lately that I should give up because after all that I did things were not working out.... It was like somethings are just such that one can do nothing about them... But Still I was holding on, I don't know why... Recently I read an article after reading it I felt I am not giving up... Ofcourse its not in my hands but I trust my angels will work out things for me... So I am going to hold on.... It says :

It’s said when you are on the divine path of light speed, friction, physical obstacles cease. Everything happens so smoothly as if this reality you are choosing has been created just for you in this entire world. The gut has a feeling of perfection and you just know this is the right one. You don’t need an astrologer, or anyone to tell you know whether, if this or that etc. You just know this is the right one, the right choice. It’s a feeling of your divine fire which burns within no matter what is happening outside. Its a feeling that everything is perfect or going to be perfect.

Chaos or whatever maybe the outside reality, the outer world pictures, it doesn’t matter at all. This gut feeling is a fire that burns within giving light and love, peace and joy, happiness and bliss. It is a feeling of Divine Presence within, a light of faith, a light of love and a light that just shows exactly the way to get what you want in a Magnificent Way into a reality which is far more magnificent than the one you have wanted. It is the kingdom within and you are the emperor, the super hero of that kingdom. That gut feeling is the light of the Kingdom within.

Surrender to this light within, surrender to that feeling and your journey becomes as pleasurable as your destination. By surrendering it means let that gut feeling, that light within guide you. Guidance comes through feelings as to what makes you feel happiest, most peaceful and most loving. Surrender to that feeling and do only those actions that give you that divine peace, happiness, love in which each every cell of your being, your every atom celebrates, celebrates and celebrates in joy and happiness. You are simply in a mode of ecstasy, a bliss, a peace within, a very firm feeling of love and happiness and ultimate peace.

Surrender to that gut feeling and you will always, 100%, each time get it right...

So cheer up everyone.....

[Ishh]

Rachael Lampa - If You Believe - YouTube

if you believe by rachel lampa - YouTube

[Izak]

Hey Blore.

I can give you my perpective.

Me and my ex-girl, we broke up 2 weeks ago. She was a very interesting phD i took, as i told her. In the past months she was a bad bad bad girlfriend, at least in the romantic department. I would care for her, massage, etc and I'm not the type of showing feelings. Now, if she talks to me for some reason, I treat her badly. I feel used, my heart is broken but i dont show it. For me, she doesnt deserve. If I show her that i miss her, I know she is going to think of me as a desperate guy and rejects me.

Well, i dont know what happened between you too, and i know its hard, but give it time. I've been there in that loneliness. No friends, no girlfriend, no joy, just empty, so, leave him be, and let yourself go. Its easier said than done, but there is no other choice, or at least for me, i dont have other choice.

[Izak]

Originally Posted by dreamlearner

you are lucky to miss your ex.I dont even miss my ex,the pain she has given me

It sticks with you and never goes.

[ksirminoh]

Seems to me like you are feeling saudade.
It is a very sad ride, but if you could try to enjoy it, maybe you'd find happiness in your suffering (-> see this article by Steve). Only time can make the wounds heal, but it's up to you how you feel during that time!

Best wishes!
Vasco B.

[lighthouse]

There is no need to miss dear. It was a past. Accept it and move on. It doesn't mean catch a new guy but try to live yourself alone. There is no need of the other to be happy. You are the sun and moon, just open your eyes and go grab it. This is the time to wake up. You are in the darker time means the night time (sad time) is gonna to end. Please don't do self pity. If you need my help, I can guide you. Read this. Art Of Letting Go | Creating Rainbow
Hope it will help