How do I love myself?

[Midwinter Mist]

If we tend to despise ourselves, how do we begin to love ourselves?

I'm ready to start loving myself as my self-hatred is at the root of most, if not all, of my problems. But I just don't know where to begin. I find it difficult to just look at my reflection and tell myself I'm great when I struggle to believe it. I feel like I'm lying to myself.

When somebody shows me some love, I realise I become too obsessed and attached to them because I don't love myself. I feel a need for them, but that's not right, because then I feel helpless and I usually end up damaged in many ways.

I don't need to love myself like there is no tomorrow, but I don't want to love anybody simply because I hate myself. I want to find a balance.

[GregD]

you can start by doing 2 things in parallel:

for your body / physical, become more fit than you are now by joining a gym or whatever activity which will ultimately lead to you feeling proud about how you look or the skills that you can perform

for your spirit, same thing but with the intangible. you need to achieve things using your head such as achiving something at your job, a promotion or completing a big project or helping someone bigtime or saving a life and then you will feel proud of your inside

outside and inside together create a total pride of self which is another way of saying you will love what you see in the mirror without any fake "i love myselves"

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

If we tend to despise ourselves, how do we begin to love ourselves?

I'm ready to start loving myself as my self-hatred is at the root of most, if not all, of my problems. But I just don't know where to begin. I find it difficult to just look at my reflection and tell myself I'm great when I struggle to believe it. I feel like I'm lying to myself.

When somebody shows me some love, I realise I become too obsessed and attached to them because I don't love myself. I feel a need for them, but that's not right, because then I feel helpless and I usually end up damaged in many ways.

I don't need to love myself like there is no tomorrow, but I don't want to love anybody simply because I hate myself. I want to find a balance.

I dont think its about learning to 'love yourself'. I'm thinking its more about lack of self confidence. Perhaps try working on this area and liking yourself will naturally join in.

[quiethumir]

Hello World

I am amazing
Incredible me
Celebrating the being
I choose to be

I’m uniquely spectacular
I am one of a kind
Creativity oozes
From my heart and mind

I’m stupendous, tremendous
I stand out from the crowd
I do things
That aren’t allowed

I’m inspired, desired
I am wonderfully weird
I am unbridled passion
I am highly revered

I’m outrageous, contagious
I am daring and bold
I am honored and cherished
I’m a treasure to hold

I am gifted, uplifted
I am endlessly blessed
I am sought out
For the skills I possess

I’m delightful, insightful
I am loved and adored
I live a charmed life
I’m renewed and restored

I am grateful, elateful
I am centered and wise
I am wealthy and worthy
I am God in disguise

I declare my brilliance
It won’t be denied
The world cries out
For what I provide

I am powerful, masterful
I am focused and clear
Life beams brighter
Because I am here

I am blazing, amazing
I can’t be contained
I’m a glorious, fabulous
Radiant flame

I choose to exude
All this and much more
My wings are spread
Watch me soar!

Copyright Dan Coppersmith
Self Esteem Posters Tips Quotes Affirmations, Uplifting Poems Inspirational Poetry


Read more: Hello World - Be Infinite

[ChristsLight]

I disagree that it is about being proud of yourself. This is only a superficial love, and it is dependent upon external qualities that may come or go. So what will you do when you no longer possess the attributes you were once proud of? These are not you, so it is inevitably going to end.

You need to love yourself for yourself, no matter what that might mean. You need to see yourself as being beyond these attributes—as transcending these attributes. They might help you, but they are not you.

How do you stop hating yourself? By confronting the lies you have been telling yourself for years, and seeing that they aren't necessarily true.

If you want to work through this, feel free to post one of these beliefs and we can work through it.

Beliefs might include, "I am worthless," "I'm not lovable," and a myriad of other lies.

How do you find these beliefs? Write down all of the frustrations you have with yourself, and that will reveal some of your beliefs. What do you not like about yourself?

Or, fill in this statement as many times as you need to:

I am _____.

Realize that all of these beliefs are exactly that—just beliefs. They are lies you've decided to believe about yourself for some reason.

[inforitnow]

1. Write "I love myself" and "I accept myself" on a bunch of sticky notes and put them in places where you'll read them. Read them every day. Read them aloud if possible.

2. Think about why you love yourself and why you accept yourself. Is there anything about yourself you don't like or don't accept? Why do you feel that way? Can you change it? If not, why does it even matter?

Straight-haired girls want curly hair, curly-haired girls want straight hair; does this define who they are or is it just a quality that doesn't really make a difference?

3. From now on, when you write yourself emails or write down notes, write a positive message to yourself. Tell yourself you rock.

4. Treat yourself well. Never beat yourself up! If there's anyone you should make feel good, it's yourself. You wouldn't tell other people they aren't good enough or whatever, would you? Why treat yourself that way? You're the one person you're spending your entire life with so develop a good relationship with yourself! You are your own best friend.

And remember you don't have to be rich, it's okay to be rejected, it's okay to make mistakes (you can't learn if you don't!), and you are inherently as valuable as everyone else (when you treat yourself that way, other people will too).

5. Say only nice things to and about people. Avoid gossip. Saying "you suck" to a person is the same as saying it to yourself, psychologically. Treat other people well. Other people should like being around you because you make them feel good. Do your best to leave people better than you find them.

Good luck

[Million Dollar Man]

I think the best way to love your self is to get to KNOW youself.

Meditate deeply think about why you are GREAT!
Not to be arrogant.. but you are great.
Maybe you are great at art, poetry, music acting,
or maybe you are very funny.

Look deep withing your soul and you will find the answer.

It took me years to see and realize that I AM great,
That I deserve all the great things I manifest.

When you realize this you will love yourself..
You have to be your own biggest fan in life.

[Midwinter Mist]

Thanks for the responses.

Over the years, I used to assume that even though I'd show signs of hating myself, it was more that I hated everybody else and the way the world was. People started to make a good point to me that people would often bring me down because I'd let them. In terms of relationships, even though somebody was bad for me and I knew it, I wouldn't let them go because without them I'd feel useless, and I'd end up badly hurt from it. My thoughts would then conflict because this person would genuinely be a horrible person, but I still suffered only because I'd let them get away with what they would do to me.

In my life, I've had to work twice as hard as a lot of people, yet I still end up with so little, while people who have less to give get so much more. The picture is distorted. If I didn't have the support from relatives, my path very easily could have made me homeless or deceased before my time.

Sometimes I talk about how I'm better at something over somebody else, but even if it's true, they're still hogging the rewards, and it leaves me feeling so worthless. I often feel cursed and so uncertain as to what exactly I need to do. I think to myself... "Being good and being better doesn't seem to be good enough in the life that I live."

I don't love the world or my life, so I suppose it's natural for me to lack any confidence or self-appreciation.

It's entirely up to me, but it's a difficult road. When a human is at the bottom or close to the bottom, climbing up is not easy, but I suppose it would get easier if the wheels can at least be put in motion.

One thing that does make me feel good is when I help other people. People over the years have always come to me for advice and I help them all the time. I've developed that ability through experiencing my own life, but it is still up to them to initiate any required action, which is why I struggle to help myself (though I have done many times). But I love it when they tell me that I helped them and whenever that has happened, I wouldn't so much gain a friend but more of a follower. I loved that, though. I felt like I was in the right place, and I'd repeat their praises in my head over and over again before looking in the mirror and catching a positive reflection for a change.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

Thanks for the responses.

Over the years, I used to assume that even though I'd show signs of hating myself, it was more that I hated everybody else and the way the world was. People started to make a good point to me that people would often bring me down because I'd let them. In terms of relationships, even though somebody was bad for me and I knew it, I wouldn't let them go because without them I'd feel useless, and I'd end up badly hurt from it. My thoughts would then conflict because this person would genuinely be a horrible person, but I still suffered only because I'd let them get away with what they would do to me.

In my life, I've had to work twice as hard as a lot of people, yet I still end up with so little, while people who have less to give get so much more. The picture is distorted. If I didn't have the support from relatives, my path very easily could have made me homeless or deceased before my time.

Sometimes I talk about how I'm better at something over somebody else, but even if it's true, they're still hogging the rewards, and it leaves me feeling so worthless. I often feel cursed and so uncertain as to what exactly I need to do. I think to myself... "Being good and being better doesn't seem to be good enough in the life that I live."

I don't love the world or my life, so I suppose it's natural for me to lack any confidence or self-appreciation.

It's entirely up to me, but it's a difficult road. When a human is at the bottom or close to the bottom, climbing up is not easy, but I suppose it would get easier if the wheels can at least be put in motion.

One thing that does make me feel good is when I help other people. People over the years have always come to me for advice and I help them all the time. I've developed that ability through experiencing my own life, but it is still up to them to initiate any required action, which is why I struggle to help myself (though I have done many times). But I love it when they tell me that I helped them and whenever that has happened, I wouldn't so much gain a friend but more of a follower. I loved that, though. I felt like I was in the right place, and I'd repeat their praises in my head over and over again before looking in the mirror and catching a positive reflection for a change.

Makes me wonder what you've endured in your past to have reached this place of need and to grab at any praise given you. Is it possible to re-visit past to source a remedy?

[Midwinter Mist]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Makes me wonder what you've endured in your past to have reached this place of need and to grab at any praise given you. Is it possible to re-visit past to source a remedy?

I was bullied as a child. It wasn't physical as I could defend myself, but it was quite strange in that wherever I went, I was mocked and made fun of by both children and adults, both inside and outside of school. We all know how kids can be, but I still to this day cannot understand why the adults joined in on the 'fun'. Other people thought I was talking nonsense, exaggerating the stories, until they'd tag along with me and witness it for themselves. I never exactly had anything unusual about me, just the unattractive problems you get at a young age, and my health was poor because of my depression.

In any case, my confidence and self-esteem was severely damaged over and over again by other people. Ever since then, I never really lived a normal life as I kept developing mental 'disorders'. I had a lot of issues with myself physically, but what made it worse for me is that nothing actually improved. I was still in my early teens when my hair started to fall out. The acne I had damaged my skin enough that it's like I'm still stuck with it. I couldn't get those braces to repair my teeth as I had an abnormal case where braces wouldn't correct them, and the dentist even told me that I 'wouldn't have a nice smile'. As soon as I neglected my health in all areas, I actually stopped growing, so now I'm a short adult who struggles to gain weight. It makes me feel like I'm stuck in a child's body because all the generations are getting taller, including women, and I feel as though I can't even be a man. I feel like I'm stuck in my teenage years. Meanwhile, because of many other issues, I depend a lot on other people, again making me feel inferior and like a child. Hell, I've seen people grow up and move on into their adult lives while my life remains the same. Not only that, but I taught myself outside of school. It wasn't a problem because I could handle it, but the school system forgot my existence, abandoned me, and I don't even have qualifications. I have the abilities, just not the qualifications to prove those abilities.

When I've discussed other problems here, me and others came to the conclusion that there was a 'power' issue. I've always felt powerless and as though I have no control. This could tie into me not feeling like the man I wanted to be, and it all roots back to my early years, the way the world seemed to go against me all the time, and how I then began to hate myself.

Maybe I'd attach so much to females in relationships as it would give me a chance to be more of a man.

[Moriarty]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

I was bullied as a child. It wasn't physical as I could defend myself, but it was quite strange in that wherever I went, I was mocked and made fun of by both children and adults, both inside and outside of school. We all know how kids can be, but I still to this day cannot understand why the adults joined in on the 'fun'. Other people thought I was talking nonsense, exaggerating the stories, until they'd tag along with me and witness it for themselves. I never exactly had anything unusual about me, just the unattractive problems you get at a young age, and my health was poor because of my depression.

In any case, my confidence and self-esteem was severely damaged over and over again by other people. Ever since then, I never really lived a normal life as I kept developing mental 'disorders'. I had a lot of issues with myself physically, but what made it worse for me is that nothing actually improved. I was still in my early teens when my hair started to fall out. The acne I had damaged my skin enough that it's like I'm still stuck with it. I couldn't get those braces to repair my teeth as I had an abnormal case where braces wouldn't correct them, and the dentist even told me that I 'wouldn't have a nice smile'. As soon as I neglected my health in all areas, I actually stopped growing, so now I'm a short adult who struggles to gain weight. It makes me feel like I'm stuck in a child's body because all the generations are getting taller, including women, and I feel as though I can't even be a man. I feel like I'm stuck in my teenage years. Meanwhile, because of many other issues, I depend a lot on other people, again making me feel inferior and like a child. Hell, I've seen people grow up and move on into their adult lives while my life remains the same. Not only that, but I taught myself outside of school. It wasn't a problem because I could handle it, but the school system forgot my existence, abandoned me, and I don't even have qualifications. I have the abilities, just not the qualifications to prove those abilities.

When I've discussed other problems here, me and others came to the conclusion that there was a 'power' issue. I've always felt powerless and as though I have no control. This could tie into me not feeling like the man I wanted to be, and it all roots back to my early years, the way the world seemed to go against me all the time, and how I then began to hate myself.

Maybe I'd attach so much to females in relationships as it would give me a chance to be more of a man.

Im honoured that you feel comfortable enough with me to share such personal details. That takes courage and honesty to oneself..qualities that perhaps youve over-looked. What else may you have missed as well? Its easier to put oneself down then to plumb oneself up. I see that you have good reason for lacking self confidence, but that was back then and now is now. There is always someone for everyone out there and im sure some young lady would be thrilled to accept your genuine loving ways. When you find each other, you will look back at all this and smile.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

I wouldn't let them go because without them I'd feel useless, and I'd end up badly hurt from it.

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

In my life, I've had to work twice as hard as a lot of people, yet I still end up with so little, while people who have less to give get so much more.

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

I think to myself... "Being good and being better doesn't seem to be good enough in the life that I live."

Just pointing out some of the core beliefs I'm hearing.

1. "I am useless."
2. "I have to work harder than others to get anything in life."
3. "Being good isn't good enough."

Let's take the first one, "I am useless." Is that really true?

[Midwinter Mist]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

What else may you have missed as well?

There have been many things. I suppose I ponder over them too much.

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Let's take the first one, "I am useless." Is that really true?

There are some things that I value highly in myself, but I guess the problem I have is that these things aren't good enough to please other people. I suppose I have a love/hate thing going on with people, where a part of me probably feels I need them, but when they don't accept me, I develop hatred.

So, I do feel quite useless. It doesn't mean that I am, but I have qualities that sometimes just don't seem enough to get me anywhere.

That's when I want to try and build some love for myself. I don't want to feel as though I need people. I want to be strong with and without them.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

If we tend to despise ourselves, how do we begin to love ourselves?

I'm ready to start loving myself as my self-hatred is at the root of most, if not all, of my problems. But I just don't know where to begin. I find it difficult to just look at my reflection and tell myself I'm great when I struggle to believe it. I feel like I'm lying to myself.

When somebody shows me some love, I realise I become too obsessed and attached to them because I don't love myself. I feel a need for them, but that's not right, because then I feel helpless and I usually end up damaged in many ways.

I don't need to love myself like there is no tomorrow, but I don't want to love anybody simply because I hate myself. I want to find a balance.

Wow, you stated it really well!

It's like you're on one bank of the river and you can see the other bank, but you can't see how to cross the river, right?

Can you find the movie, "The Truman Show" with Jim Carrey? That's a fun way to describe the journey from this side of the river to the other.

[Carri C]

i have shared this before but it was so powerful for me, and continues to be, that it bears repeating. i call it "love letters to myself".

in a journal i started a conversation with different parts of myself. it started with a letter to my inner child and allowed me to reach out to her, let her have her voice, cuddle her, hold her and invite her into my heart.

it's a two way conversation - my higher self or mother self to my other parts. i hand over the process to the universe when i start and ask the universe, to guide my pen.

it then expanded to letters to my inner teenager, inner newborn, inner-adolescent-who-went-through-that-particular-experience, inner-person-who-i-am-now etc etc.

slowly but surely the dialogue i had with myself daily started to change. i started to treat myself today the way i treat myself in my journal. now when i start on a negative spiral i'm often able to catch myself and say "hey baby, you're beautiful, it's ok, it's all going to be ok, you're loved and cherished (by me) and i'm gonna support you through this no matter what. i won't abandon you, i'm here for you. it's ok to be where you are" blah blah.

it's changed my life. i hope it helps. xx

[sharshar89]

I think we face the same problem.
The only difference is that I didn't have the courage to admit.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by Midwinter Mist

There are some things that I value highly in myself, but I guess the problem I have is that these things aren't good enough to please other people. I suppose I have a love/hate thing going on with people, where a part of me probably feels I need them, but when they don't accept me, I develop hatred.

So, I do feel quite useless. It doesn't mean that I am, but I have qualities that sometimes just don't seem enough to get me anywhere.

That's when I want to try and build some love for myself. I don't want to feel as though I need people. I want to be strong with and without them.

Does it matter that they aren't good enough to please others? That's not your problem, but of those who would judge you.

The problem is that you need to accept yourself unconditionally. Until you do, then you will need the acceptance of others in order to feel worthy.

Tell me, how do you react when you believe that you are useless?

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Does it matter that they aren't good enough to please others? That's not your problem, but of those who would judge you.

The problem is that you need to accept yourself unconditionally. Until you do, then you will need the acceptance of others in order to feel worthy.

Tell me, how do you react when you believe that you are useless?

If one has a character which causes one to have the minimalest of social interaction..How could one be happy? By faking social interaction, pretending to be sociable and all smiley it will be seeking for approval..But by not doing anything and accepting oneself..How could one succeed in life or even feel fulfilled without much connection to people and love? That still goes back to "Have a flaw? Change it." As long as we have something out of the normal it isn't quite possible to be happy unless we try/pretend to fit in until one day where we naturally, unpretendingly fit in.

[WisdomDome]

It sounds to me like you need to do something to make yourself proud of yourself. What are your skills? Do something for you and not for anybody else. Do something that will make YOU happy, and that will make YOU proud of yourself. If you're constantly doing things for other people then you're going to eventually trick yourself into believing that's the best and only way to become happy.

While it's perfectly okay to do things to make other people happy, don't forget about yourself. You can show other people love but don't forget to show yourself some love as well!

Cook yourself a meal, take a walk and clean up some litter in a park, buy a puzzle and give yourself some alone time and complete the puzzle. Try to make some type of progress so that you can look at it with a sense of completion and self-satisfaction.

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

If one has a character which causes one to have the minimalest of social interaction..How could one be happy? By faking social interaction, pretending to be sociable and all smiley it will be seeking for approval..But by not doing anything and accepting oneself..How could one succeed in life or even feel fulfilled without much connection to people and love? That still goes back to "Have a flaw? Change it." As long as we have something out of the normal it isn't quite possible to be happy unless we try/pretend to fit in until one day where we naturally, unpretendingly fit in.

So you are believing that you need to be "normal" or to "fit in" in order to be happy and successful? Is that true?

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

So you are believing that you need to be "normal" or to "fit in" in order to be happy and successful? Is that true?

I do not believe in that but I feel even when I achieve something or overcame some obstacles, there wasn't much people to share my joy with..When I'm down and out, there also isn't much support..And not to mention sometimes when it comes to my birthday I get terribly lonely
And also..I don't like feeling transparent
I can be successful but so what..I don't have people to share my success with
Don't u think I should change my entire self in the social aspect?
Not that I have zero friends. I do have a caring bf and probably 2 or 3 I would consider good friends..But when I compare to "normal" people..They are surrounded by people and so happy..I can't help but feel sorry for myself and I feel the urge to conjure a personality and live with that personality for the rest of my life

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by WisdomDome

It sounds to me like you need to do something to make yourself proud of yourself. What are your skills? Do something for you and not for anybody else. Do something that will make YOU happy, and that will make YOU proud of yourself. If you're constantly doing things for other people then you're going to eventually trick yourself into believing that's the best and only way to become happy.

While it's perfectly okay to do things to make other people happy, don't forget about yourself. You can show other people love but don't forget to show yourself some love as well!

Cook yourself a meal, take a walk and clean up some litter in a park, buy a puzzle and give yourself some alone time and complete the puzzle. Try to make some type of progress so that you can look at it with a sense of completion and self-satisfaction.

Recently I completed a 3 months big project and it is something worth to be happy over because I have been depressed and struggled with panic attacks for some time and I finally "overcome" them and did something which made me feel proud of myself..But the satisfaction is only for few minutes because I wonder through these failures and picking up myself..Who knew about the struggles which I overcame? Who could feel the intense joy I feel at that instant? I feel alone in this world still. I could be satisfied achieving this but how many "normal" people out there can do it effortlessly without any struggles and do it better than me? And how is it that their "normality" allows them to take so many thing for granted and still get to enjoy everything.
It's like winning a marathon race after a serious leg injury with no one cheering you on and when u get that trophy..Nobody knows who u are and nobody is happy for you..Maybe I'm exagerating but that is sort of my feeling about it.

[Midwinter Mist]

I think I tend to speak ill of my own achievements in one way or another. For example, I passed my driving test earlier this year. Not only that, but I did it in a flash and passed everything at the first attempt. Not only that, I've been agoraphobic and have had little control, but driving, although difficult for me to handle due to the expense, is something that gives me some freedom. You see, I know this, yet once it was all said and done, I looked at it and said, "So what?"

I don't really get excited about anything. When I passed the driving test, I didn't really feel anything about it. To be honest, I knew I would pass. I didn't doubt my capability there, but ultimately it was to serve me. I suppose if I were driving to serve somebody else, then it would be different. That's when I start speaking more ill of myself. Besides this emotional numbness I've had this year, I would always love creativity and art, and I'd create things because I'd want to, but over time I created more for others until eventually I wanted money. I saw people with no talent getting money, and wondered why it was fair that I had so little. So, this started to get worse and worse. The fun died. It was no longer for me. I could no longer create in the same way. It was all like a horrible chore.

But there are things I can do and want to do and they are mostly for my own benefit. Where I've been in my position for so long, I haven't had any exercise. I tried to jog but couldn't even last for a few seconds, that's how far at the bottom I am. I really want to improve my health, but I have certain fears. Well, if I started to face those fears and then improved my fitness, that would surely be wonderful for my mind. It would give me strength, motivation and pride, knowing I came up from the bottom. In fact, improving my fitness has been my first target for a while now as I feel it's the best thing for me to face. I have problems gaining weight, though I don't eat well, but I'm convinced that I've been so inactive that even my muscles have deteriorated.

So, there is that target, and that is something that could make me love myself more. The only problem is trying to get myself to do it. I'm having a hard time. My plan is to walk around the block to start off slowly, but I have a lot of 'disorders', such as the agoraphobia, that keep holding me back. Not only do I feel weak and that I need people, I also fear them a lot. Maybe that's the problem. They have the power over me. I feel intimidated and as though, based on how I always attracted negativity as a child and a teenager, I'll attract even more of it for no reason. But I don't just fear them. I feel weak and I don't believe I can protect myself, yet I also fear what I might actually do in a certain situation that would... well, that's not important.

[blessedb]

I couldn't say anything rather to thank you guys for this great work!

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

I do not believe in that but I feel even when I achieve something or overcame some obstacles, there wasn't much people to share my joy with..When I'm down and out, there also isn't much support..And not to mention sometimes when it comes to my birthday I get terribly lonely
And also..I don't like feeling transparent
I can be successful but so what..I don't have people to share my success with
Don't u think I should change my entire self in the social aspect?
Not that I have zero friends. I do have a caring bf and probably 2 or 3 I would consider good friends..But when I compare to "normal" people..They are surrounded by people and so happy..I can't help but feel sorry for myself and I feel the urge to conjure a personality and live with that personality for the rest of my life

Just because some people have many friends and you only have a few does not mean that there's something wrong with you.

If you had no idea that there were people with a lot of friends, would you still not be happy with your situation?

I'm an introvert and so don't enjoy large groups. I have a few very close friends with whom I can have good conversations and enjoy my time with. I am very happy with it. Then of course I have my wife.

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

Just because some people have many friends and you only have a few does not mean that there's something wrong with you.

If you had no idea that there were people with a lot of friends, would you still not be happy with your situation?

I'm an introvert and so don't enjoy large groups. I have a few very close friends with whom I can have good conversations and enjoy my time with. I am very happy with it. Then of course I have my wife.

You might be an introvert but I'm one extreme end of introvert. I just know I see no one who is like me..

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

You might be an introvert but I'm one extreme end of introvert. I just know I see no one who is like me..

You didn't answer my question. If you didn't believe that others had a lot more friends, would you be happy with your situation of having 2-3 friends?

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by ChristsLight

You didn't answer my question. If you didn't believe that others had a lot more friends, would you be happy with your situation of having 2-3 friends?

I might be. I do not know because I'm not in that situation and I can only guess.
There's no need for believe..Witnessing is the truth

[ChristsLight]

Originally Posted by sharshar89

There's no need for believe..Witnessing is the truth

Only until you attach a judgment to it, such as "I should have more friends," and then you feel bad about it. That's when a belief starts, which might be good for you to look at if you like.

[trees]

Every time I hear about issues with self confidence or self love, I can always predict one thing: there's too much focus on the self. What I mean is that there's too much focus on "what I should do", "what I should be", "how I should feel". I struggle with this too at times so I'm not pointing fingers. Every time I feel down, I realize my thoughts are constantly on myself - "this is unfair for me", "why am I so unlucky", "why does this always happen to me". It's tough I know, but try to bring the focus away from yourself when you start to see these thoughts in your head. Focus on what you want to achieve...and not "what would happen to ME if I failed at that".
I argue that nearly all (if not all) suffering occurs with thinking about yourself. I define suffering as not physical pain, but emotional-baggage pain, if you know what I mean.
Best of luck with your situation; don't lose faith.