Moving on...

[momo3bur]

OOHHHHH how ironic I find it that I'm about to post this considering I was fairly active in the "Living with your Parents is Called Childhood" thread, but here we go ...

So, my marriage is over and has been for years (emotionally), but the time has finally come for me to move and guess where I'm going? Mom's house. HAHAHAHAHAHA...ALG, feel free to tease and poke at me as you wish.

That aside, I need some help. I have felt extremely numb to this situation for a while now, but now that horrible, wrenching feeling (you know, the one where it feels like someone has shoved an iron fist inside of you and is twisting and pulling your guts out...) has begun. My mother and I have decided to wait until Christmas break for me to move in to make the transition easier for my daughter, who is in school, but I'm beginning to pack things, get things ready for a yard sale, look for employment in that area, etc., and this is really starting to work on my head and gut.

I need to hear from someone who's been through this whole divorce with children deal so I can figure out how to cope. Right now, I'm not doing so well. I thought I was...but the actual physical act of changing my life has begun; it's no longer a thought or idea, it's real, and it's much more traumatic than I realized it would be, even considering the horrible emotional BS I'm leaving behind.

I'm not exactly sure what to ask...I just needed to get this out. I arrived home a few minutes ago from clothes shopping for my children, pinching every single penny (which is not something I had to do before and is yet another reminder of what's about to take place), and I just got done putting all those brand new clothes in their closets knowing I'll be packing them soon. Walking through their bedrooms with all their toys, all the walls painted special and things fixed up just for them, their beds, their little lives in there, and it is soo hard to even think about taking them away from everything they know. I think this is the most difficult part of all of it.

So, feel free to type anything you'd like to me, I'm not sure what I need here. I do know communication, advice, and support are things I'm craving right now.

WTF is next?

[ZephyrusX]

*hugs* I'm sorry you and your children are going through such a hard transition in life. I don't have any advise as I've never been there, but I can pass some e-hugs your way.

I hope everything turns out well.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

*hugs* I'm sorry you and your children are going through such a hard transition in life. I don't have any advise as I've never been there, but I can pass some e-hugs your way.

I hope everything turns out well.

Awww, thank you Zephy. You are the very best, my dear. HUGS back!

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by momo3bur

I need to hear from someone who's been through this whole divorce with children deal so I can figure out how to cope.

Like a zombie, if you have to. One foot in front of the other, one movement after another. Don't try to think too far ahead, but focus on whatever task is at hand. Only do the "think about the future" thing when necessary, and only as far ahead as necessary.

That's how I got through it.

Originally Posted by momo3bur

It is soo hard to even think about taking them away from everything they know.

Maybe try to show them that it's an adventure because, well, it is, when you think about it. A whole new life, new possibilities, new people to meet and new places to go, and new things to do.

Yeah, stuff will be weird and different for a while, at least, but there's nothing wrong with different. Different can be fun, as well as weird (and maybe a little scary). And in the end, it'll all be good.

[nothuman]

Bob Marley- Three Little Birds (With Lyrics!) - YouTube

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

Like a zombie, if you have to. One foot in front of the other, one movement after another. Don't try to think too far ahead, but focus on whatever task is at hand. Only do the "think about the future" thing when necessary, and only as far ahead as necessary.

That's how I got through it.

Thank you! Like a zombie is how I've been for years now and it seems like I've learned to sort of bury all of my emotions through all of this up until now. Then suddenly today, I guess it was the clothes thing, it's just like everything kind of unleashed itself. It's not the feeling of wanting to stay, more like feeling completely lost and unsure and...scared shitless, to be honest.

So I guess the best way to do this without completely losing it is just to live day by day, then? That makes a lot of sense because right now if I think about my future, I can tell I have some really difficult years ahead of me. I went through this with my parents and it makes me feel like such a failure to put my kids through it, too. I guess what's so scary is that part of me DOES know what's coming for us, which is totally opposite of everything I've wanted for my kids and myself. I just...GOSSSSSSSSHHH...I dunno! I don't know how to put it all in words.

So hear goes Ashley the brain eater. All you happy people better stay out of my way or I might take an ear off.

Maybe try to show them that it's an adventure because, well, it is, when you think about it. A whole new life, new possibilities, new people to meet and new places to go, and new things to do.

Yeah, stuff will be weird and different for a while, at least, but there's nothing wrong with different. Different can be fun, as well as weird (and maybe a little scary). And in the end, it'll all be good.

This is a really good idea, and I'll make sure I stay upbeat about it. They are very excited about moving in with grandmommy! We talked about it this morning and they can't wait. My oldest daughter understands that her dad won't be there with us, and it doesn't seem to bother her at all. That relieves me and makes me sad.

Thanks BW.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Bob Marley- Three Little Birds (With Lyrics!) - YouTube

Thank you! I love this song...I think I'll keep it playin' all day.

[Beingist]

Hi, momo,

Haven't been through a divorce. Rather, I just never went through the marriage thing. Never had enough courage, I guess

That said, I just wanted to extend my condolences and best wishes for you. I'm sure it's a difficult time for you, right now, and it always hurts me to hear stuff like this, especially when there are children in the middle of it. But, I see you as someone with a tremendous amount of courage (anyone willing to live with their parents as an adult has to be courageous), and so I'm sure you'll pull through this, and do the right thing, both for yourself, as well as your children.

You have my support, I suppose is all I'm saying, and my very best wishes.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Thank you! I love this song...I think I'll keep it playin' all day.

Hey lil' buddy.....remember that times like this are not just about dark circumstances and suffering. They are also about great change and liberation. Don't forget to hold on to the later as well. It works for me.....

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by Beingist

Hi, momo,

Haven't been through a divorce. Rather, I just never went through the marriage thing. Never had enough courage, I guess

That said, I just wanted to extend my condolences and best wishes for you. I'm sure it's a difficult time for you, right now, and it always hurts me to hear stuff like this, especially when there are children in the middle of it. But, I see you as someone with a tremendous amount of courage (anyone willing to live with their parents as an adult has to be courageous), and so I'm sure you'll pull through this, and do the right thing, both for yourself, as well as your children.

You have my support, I suppose is all I'm saying, and my very best wishes.

Thank you so much! You are very kind, hun. I really appreciate it.

LOL about the parents! Hahahaha...yeah...this will be a WHOLE new adventure in itself. I wonder how long it will be 'til my mom kicks us out into government housing!? BAHAHAHAHA...

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Hey lil' buddy.....remember that times like this are not just about dark circumstances and suffering. They are also about great change and liberation. Don't forget to hold on to the later as well. It works for me.....

Thank you, Cap'n Sweet. I will try to remind myself of that change and liberation every single day, and so far that later is really helping me go through with this. Especially for my kids, knowing they might get to experience their momma as a happy and vibrant person instead of this crumpled up mess putting on a happy act. LOL. This sounds so selfish, but I keep thinking...gah, I'm going to be able to LIVE again, have a life, have friends, talk to whomever I want, cook the food I want to cook, go to the park on the weekend with my kids without having to drag ole grumpy along with us. LOL.

I'm actually feeling a little better right now about this whole decision than I was when I posted the OP. I just got to listen to my three year old get cursed at over running up and hugging his leg (and making him lose his balance...). So now instead of wishing that man had fallen and busted his arse just then (YEP, I SAID THAT ), I know I'll just be leaving soon and my babies won't have to listen to that ridiculousness anymore.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm bashing him, I don't mean to...I just feel a little angry at the moment.

[nothuman]

Originally Posted by momo3bur

Thank you, Cap'n Sweet. I will try to remind myself of that change and liberation every single day, and so far that later is really helping me go through with this. Especially for my kids, knowing they might get to experience their momma as a happy and vibrant person instead of this crumpled up mess putting on a happy act. LOL. This sounds so selfish, but I keep thinking...gah, I'm going to be able to LIVE again, have a life, have friends, talk to whomever I want, cook the food I want to cook, go to the park on the weekend with my kids without having to drag ole grumpy along with us. LOL.

I'm actually feeling a little better right now about this whole decision than I was when I posted the OP. I just got to listen to my three year old get cursed at over running up and hugging his leg (and making him lose his balance...). So now instead of wishing that man had fallen and busted his arse just then (YEP, I SAID THAT ), I know I'll just be leaving soon and my babies won't have to listen to that ridiculousness anymore.

Sorry if it sounds like I'm bashing him, I don't mean to...I just feel a little angry at the moment.

Tex....I'd feel exactly the same way. Well I wouldn't be married to a guy.....but you know what I mean.
People project on each other in relationships ...some times good sometimes not we can carry that around with us quite easily impinging on us, we forget we are something far greater than that and we can buy into how someone else sees us.
Shine on gal......your time is coming.

[Ishh]

hugs to you and your children... I have never been there so cannot give you any advice, all I can do is support you... So I am here.. with you... Lots of love and hugs.... ... Just remember Your true essence is to feel joy..... sometimes blessings come in disguise... So please be positive....

[ButterflyWoman]

I thought of you today and thought of something else to tell you.

Realise that you're mourning. You're mourning the loss of a future you might have had, of a love that might have been. You're even mourning the loss of some piece of your identity that believed that you could "make it work" or something along those lines (i.e., you have "failed"). There's a lot of grief and sorrow over the end of a marriage, even if the marriage has been on life support for a long time and you knew it was coming. So let yourself grieve when you feel it. It's okay to be sorry and sad and relieved and maybe a little bit excited for the future and all kinds of other mixed emotions. Just let them resolve themselves as they must in the grieving process.

I'm really happy to hear that the kids are excited and happy to be going to live at Grandmommy's house. That's a good sign for their own adjustment to the new situation!

The fact that your daughter isn't too fussed about dad being out of the picture is telling. Kids are often more perceptive than we give them credit or being.

One other thought I want to share. I know it's way early for this, but I want to plant the seed, so to speak. There is a a reason you attracted this particular man, and this particular relationship. Something about you drew him to you, and you to him. If you want to avoid this happening in the future, you'll need to sort out what happened there and alter your own perceptions of yourself and your reality so that you don't repeat the same thing with variations. Now may not be the time for doing that, but eventually it'll come up again in your life, so just be prepared to do the inner work there.

Sending you a big hug and a virtual cup of hot tea (in my world, a cup of tea cures a good many ills ). Love to you and your kids and to your mother (I'm also happy that you sorted out most of your issues with your mother, by the way; I remember when you were struggling with that relationship, and I'm really happy to see it has been resolved positively. I love it when that happens. ).

[CoolBee]

Excellent post Butterfly Woman - says everything I would have wished to say. I've never been through this so can't speak personally.

Experience your emotions and let them play without judging.

in connection with BW's words, give this little video a watch, a number of people I know who have gone through divorce in the past couple of years have appreciated it.

Giraffe Kubler Ross Stages of Grief - YouTube

[Moriarty]

Hi mo...such a sad and stressful time for you. Yes ive been there, but one of my boys had already left home and the other was old enough to take things in hand. Needless to say, my sister has just gone through the same thing with 3 teens to raise. Its never easy and thank god for your mum! Parents are angels in these times, arent they?

Even now on the odd occasion after being divorced since 2002, I still mourn the past and how it could have been had my ex-husband done more when he knew i was unhappy. Those moments pass when i am around him, realising after all this time, he hasnt changed and hanging on would never had worked for me. I was dying inside and now I'm such a free spirit! My boys faired well in the end and in that time, I have remarried (lost my husband) and have settled down happily with another beautiful man for 3yrs. So you see, even though it is traumatic to leave the past behind, there is always something better around the corner. You'll see! ~HUGS~

[Curious cat]

Hello. I am so sorry that this is happening to your family, but like moriarty said, thank goodness you have your mum

I don't have any experience with divorce myself, so i am unable to offer any advice. However, you have been there through your own parents' divorce growing up, so you have first hand experience and will be to help your children navigate through this.

You sound like a very warm, open and honest woman. I have confidence that you (and your children) will come out of this experience bigger and better than ever. All the best

[RonSouther]

I'm sorry but I'm also happy for you! The clock can't be turned back, so the only way to fix this is to move forward. And for that I applaud you!

It's a slow death to live daily with repressed feelings and longings. Willpower can't fix anything, in fact, willpower IS the act of repression.

I don't know how old your kids are, but be sure to be human to them and not supermom. Let them know that mistakes were made without knowing it and that growing to understand life better can be a pretty tough business, that we really only learn from our mistakes. Kids are really intelligent and eager to learn. The more they understand the less they will fight you.

One day at a time and keep up to date on your feelings in that when you feel them, express them. If it's time to cry, cry! If it's time to hit a pillow in anger, do it! No more repression, time to cleanse!

You'll be great and so will your kids! Everyone will learn if we keep it real.

[Frisky]

MoMo, my sis is in same predicament. She's now divorced (with 3 kids).

Just use LOA to attract a new hubbie and you'll be allright. Maybe another divorced dude who also has kids is the answer for you

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by nothuman

Tex....I'd feel exactly the same way. Well I wouldn't be married to a guy.....but you know what I mean.
People project on each other in relationships ...some times good sometimes not we can carry that around with us quite easily impinging on us, we forget we are something far greater than that and we can buy into how someone else sees us.
Shine on gal......your time is coming.

Thank you for makin' me smile, NH.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by Ishh

hugs to you and your children... I have never been there so cannot give you any advice, all I can do is support you... So I am here.. with you... Lots of love and hugs.... ... Just remember Your true essence is to feel joy..... sometimes blessings come in disguise... So please be positive....

Thank you so much, Ishh. I'm trying to be as positive as possible, but sometimes that whole blessings in disguise bit takes SOOOO much energy to continuously remind oneself of. Keep on keepin' on, I guess, and things will get better.

Thank you, hun.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

I thought of you today and thought of something else to tell you.

Realise that you're mourning. You're mourning the loss of a future you might have had, of a love that might have been. You're even mourning the loss of some piece of your identity that believed that you could "make it work" or something along those lines (i.e., you have "failed"). There's a lot of grief and sorrow over the end of a marriage, even if the marriage has been on life support for a long time and you knew it was coming. So let yourself grieve when you feel it. It's okay to be sorry and sad and relieved and maybe a little bit excited for the future and all kinds of other mixed emotions. Just let them resolve themselves as they must in the grieving process.

I'm really happy to hear that the kids are excited and happy to be going to live at Grandmommy's house. That's a good sign for their own adjustment to the new situation!

The fact that your daughter isn't too fussed about dad being out of the picture is telling. Kids are often more perceptive than we give them credit or being.

One other thought I want to share. I know it's way early for this, but I want to plant the seed, so to speak. There is a a reason you attracted this particular man, and this particular relationship. Something about you drew him to you, and you to him. If you want to avoid this happening in the future, you'll need to sort out what happened there and alter your own perceptions of yourself and your reality so that you don't repeat the same thing with variations. Now may not be the time for doing that, but eventually it'll come up again in your life, so just be prepared to do the inner work there.

Sending you a big hug and a virtual cup of hot tea (in my world, a cup of tea cures a good many ills ). Love to you and your kids and to your mother (I'm also happy that you sorted out most of your issues with your mother, by the way; I remember when you were struggling with that relationship, and I'm really happy to see it has been resolved positively. I love it when that happens. ).

Thank you, Miss Butterfly. These are very wise words, and I really appreciate you more than you realize. I hadn't exactly put the mourning into perspective yet, but you are so right. It does feel like something inside of me has died and I didn't expect it because I thought I was ready for this, fed up, had enough, etc. (you know the drill), but now it's like BAM reality. No turning back. I don't do well with decisions that lead to permanent changes, which is something I've learned about myself recently and is also what I believe has kept me here as long as I've stayed. So this is really difficult. I'm kind of set in my lifestyle, even though he's not right for me or I for him, he's still the warm body I've spent 10 years sleeping next to, so it's really difficult for me to imagine not having him there, cruel or not. LOL. It sounds so corny, but it really causes some fear and uncertainty. I'm ready for it, though, and it's not healthy here, so there is really no choice in the matter.

I know those emotions will resolve themselves. These past two days have left me in a state of feeling like I've been broken up and scattered into little, crappy pieces. It's an awful feeling, but I'm trying to remind myself that I've spent YEARS feeling like that off and on and ending this marriage is the only way I'll be able to fix that about myself. I guess it's kinda like getting a boob job...it probably hurts like hell at first and for a few weeks after, but the end result's friggin' awesome. I don't have fake boobs, for the record, but it's the only thing my pooped out brain could come up with. LOL.

I definitely agree about what you said concerning my daughter's reaction to all of this. She's very vocal about her feelings, so I'm quite sure she'd share with me if she was upset. This is another really strong indication to me that I'm doing the right thing for myself and my children.

And what you said about relationships and attraction...totally agree. I have no plans for any relationship anytime soon. I want to concentrate solely on myself, my kids, and getting our life into a forward moving, positive pace. I know I have lots of work to do on myself, my self esteem, self-worth...all that fun stuff...and I plan on really making an effort to be healthy mentally and emotionally before I EVER think of dating again.

Thanks Butterfly! For the advice and the tea! It was delicious.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by CoolBee

Excellent post Butterfly Woman - says everything I would have wished to say. I've never been through this so can't speak personally.

Experience your emotions and let them play without judging.

in connection with BW's words, give this little video a watch, a number of people I know who have gone through divorce in the past couple of years have appreciated it.

Giraffe Kubler Ross Stages of Grief - YouTube

Thank you! This video was really cute, too!

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Hi mo...such a sad and stressful time for you. Yes ive been there, but one of my boys had already left home and the other was old enough to take things in hand. Needless to say, my sister has just gone through the same thing with 3 teens to raise. Its never easy and thank god for your mum! Parents are angels in these times, arent they?

Even now on the odd occasion after being divorced since 2002, I still mourn the past and how it could have been had my ex-husband done more when he knew i was unhappy. Those moments pass when i am around him, realising after all this time, he hasnt changed and hanging on would never had worked for me. I was dying inside and now I'm such a free spirit! My boys faired well in the end and in that time, I have remarried (lost my husband) and have settled down happily with another beautiful man for 3yrs. So you see, even though it is traumatic to leave the past behind, there is always something better around the corner. You'll see! ~HUGS~

Moriarty, your words give me so much hope! I'm so glad that you were able to overcome the divorce. And I'm SO SORRY that you had to go through the loss of your husband...

You sound like you're very happy now, though, and that really gives me some positive feelings. I really appreciate ya, froggie! You're a sweetheart.

And YES...thank heavens for my mother and all the rest of my family. They've been begging me to leave for a long time, so all I can say is I'm grateful they are still there for me even after I ignored them for so many years. My mother and I have had an odd relationship over the years, but we're still very close...I'm just PRAYING that this new little adventure won't completely ruin the good we finally have going between us. Bleh...gosh. Oh well! Time will tell. She's a wonderful woman and she's been through this, so after she gets done telling me "I told ya so" a billion times, we'll get on fine. LOL.

Originally Posted by Curious cat

Hello. I am so sorry that this is happening to your family, but like moriarty said, thank goodness you have your mum

I don't have any experience with divorce myself, so i am unable to offer any advice. However, you have been there through your own parents' divorce growing up, so you have first hand experience and will be to help your children navigate through this.

You sound like a very warm, open and honest woman. I have confidence that you (and your children) will come out of this experience bigger and better than ever. All the best

Aww...thank you so much. You are very sweet. I kind of feel like I'm having a bit of a pity party in this thread, but I think I need that for just a little while, so I really appreciate everybody's kind words.

Originally Posted by RonSouther

I'm sorry but I'm also happy for you! The clock can't be turned back, so the only way to fix this is to move forward. And for that I applaud you!

It's a slow death to live daily with repressed feelings and longings. Willpower can't fix anything, in fact, willpower IS the act of repression.

I don't know how old your kids are, but be sure to be human to them and not supermom. Let them know that mistakes were made without knowing it and that growing to understand life better can be a pretty tough business, that we really only learn from our mistakes. Kids are really intelligent and eager to learn. The more they understand the less they will fight you.

One day at a time and keep up to date on your feelings in that when you feel them, express them. If it's time to cry, cry! If it's time to hit a pillow in anger, do it! No more repression, time to cleanse!

You'll be great and so will your kids! Everyone will learn if we keep it real.

Thank you, Ron. I think this is what's happening now. It's really hard to repress when so much is thrown at you, so everything has just come up and let itself loose on me! I feel like I'm in an emotional apocolypse right now. LOL. I much prefer the zombie one I was in before all of this, but I know that after it's over and things become settled, I will be able to move past both of those emotional handicaps I've allowed myself to waller in.

Geez...this is very theraputic, guys. Thank you so much.

Originally Posted by Frisky

MoMo, my sis is in same predicament. She's now divorced (with 3 kids).

Just use LOA to attract a new hubbie and you'll be allright. Maybe another divorced dude who also has kids is the answer for you

I'm sorry for your sister, Frisky. I know she's probably feeling a bit lost right now, too, and my heart really goes out to her.

Thanks Frisky, but I think I'll be alright without a husband. I think I'm going to use my efforts in LOA and all other things to attract a well paid job, nursing degree, and comfy home for my kids to live in for now. Once that's all settled, I MIGHT think about romance, but right now I think I'll stick to the survival stuff.

[James81]

Well, this really messes up my horny housewife fantasy.

In all seriousness, I've been there and I can say that you'll figure it out as you go along. For now, the biggest thing is giving yourself permission to grieve. Its ok and normal for you to be disoriented and hurting. And tears will find you at unexpected times. So, for now all you need is a hug and for encouragement just know that there's always tomorrow and that happiness will come again.

As for living with your parents...I think you'll discover as I did that you aren't living with them because you NEED to (even if financially you do need to). I think you'll find that you're living with them because you're vulnerable and don't want to be alone right now. And there's absolutely no shame in that. Don't ever let somebody make you feel guilty or upset for moving back in with your parents.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by James81

Well, this really messes up my horny housewife fantasy.

In all seriousness, I've been there and I can say that you'll figure it out as you go along. For now, the biggest thing is giving yourself permission to grieve. Its ok and normal for you to be disoriented and hurting. And tears will find you at unexpected times. So, for now all you need is a hug and for encouragement just know that there's always tomorrow and that happiness will come again.

As for living with your parents...I think you'll discover as I did that you aren't living with them because you NEED to (even if financially you do need to). I think you'll find that you're living with them because you're vulnerable and don't want to be alone right now. And there's absolutely no shame in that. Don't ever let somebody make you feel guilty or upset for moving back in with your parents.

Hi James! Ahhh...thank you.

Need I remind you that PB would tuck its tale and run from me at my ripe old age of 27, so you might as well let those go anyway.

That part I highlighted, this is the discussion I had with my mom this morning. She asked why I don't just stay where I am because I could if I wanted to. It would be very difficult financially, but not impossible. Quite frankly I'm not sure how well I'll cope all by myself after this is over. He's been staying with a friend off and on for a couple of weeks now, but even so he's still coming in and out and I've managed to keep myself very busy. Once those papers are signed...I dunno...just the finality of it all is very overwhelming.

In other words, I want my momma. LOL. I'll admit it. She might not want me after a few weeks, but she'll deal I'm sure.

The tears...omg...those have hit hard these last two days. So that has definitely begun, flood gates are open. I found myself crying because my printer ink had run dry this morning and I didn't have a new cartridge. Geez Louise...then my flip flop broke in WalMart (while buying a new cartridge) and it was on. I feel like...I dunno...I've never had trouble with controlling myself emotionally, so this is very unpredictable and frightening territory for me.

Thanks James.

Sorry I bombarded all you guys with more self pity and whining! LOL. I really appreciate everyone's support.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by momo3bur

I found myself crying because my printer ink had run dry this morning and I didn't have a new cartridge. Geez Louise...then my flip flop broke in WalMart (while buying a new cartridge) and it was on. I feel like...I dunno...I've never had trouble with controlling myself emotionally, so this is very unpredictable and frightening territory for me.

Oh, honey, that's YEARS of pent up sorrow, pain, frustration, anger, and every other kind of thing coming out. You've kept it all in check for a long time, and now that you feel that you no longer have to, it's going to express itself, one way or another. Just let it come, though, I hear you about how embarrassing it is to burst into tears in a department store! (Been there, done that.)

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

Oh, honey, that's YEARS of pent up sorrow, pain, frustration, anger, and every other kind of thing coming out. You've kept it all in check for a long time, and now that you feel that you no longer have to, it's going to express itself, one way or another. Just let it come, though, I hear you about how embarrassing it is to burst into tears in a department store! (Been there, done that.)

Oh my goodness, thank you so much. That makes me feel so much better and more normal. LOL. Yeah, the embarrassment was really bad as I do NOT like feeling vulnerable, especially in the flesh around strangers who decide they've found the next best thing to Jerry Springer in the electronics department. I thanked my mother for teaching me self-control after that moment or I might have shown up in the "People of WalMart" catalogue.

[ButterflyWoman]

Originally Posted by momo3bur

I might have shown up in the "People of WalMart" catalogue.

You only end up there if you're crying AND your arse is hanging out.

[Moriarty]

Understandable! This is a major life shift. You built your life around your mate..bore his children and you both dreamed together. It never fully goes away. Its written history and the children are always there to remind you. No doubt he'll be feeling like ♥♥♥♥ as well.

I used to bawl my eyes out to and hungered for just a touch or a hug at times. Its part of the human make-up to want to nest and have the significant other to share life with. We are social animals and is why we cram together in cities. No different to our intimate lives.

You will go through the stages of grief..if i remember rightly, there are 5 of them...grief, denial, anger, bargaining and acceptance....but not necessarily in that order and some can be re-visited. Oh what fun!!! Of course you would want to cling to the people you trust and love the most..your mum...and why not! My mum stuck with me through my trials all the way, unlike some of my other family members whom I told to F off out of my life...anger stage..LOL Dont ever feel bad about it and remember that if your feeling this way, so are your children, so its important to share that journey with them to help them through those emotions that are so confusing to them at their tender ages.

[momo3bur]

Originally Posted by ButterflyWoman

You only end up there if you're crying AND your arse is hanging out.

I wonder if having been in my Batman costume would substitute for the arse requirement. Keep your eyes open, people...cause I may just be a new WalMart celeb.