My ADD ADHD Self Help, Self Healing Story

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

I feel like I have a surround sound going on...it's okay I feel very gifted to have this..but when you are trying to have a one on one conversation in a crowd..He/she will feel that you are NOT paying addition to the conversation. I am. I just dont hear it.

I difinitly feel ya.

Ditto....and I tell the person that I can hear everything around me and in a restaurant, e.g., I will intentionally ask for a table where I feel that I can tune into the person I'm with.

If I accepted the judgment that this is a negative symptom that I have to work on then ADHD would be something to self-loathe in me. That's the wrong approach. That heightened sensitivity plays out so richly in my life. I love it! And if I know that noisy social scenes is not a match with my natural gifts, then why would I go into that environment? To fit in?

No, I need to know myself and live my life according to my likes and dislikes and that's that. I can't be responsible for the "unhappiness" that may bring others. I do my best to explain my limitations and unless they live this, they don't get it, but that doesn't change anything. I have to live in harmony with me or I won't be happy independent of others or things.

I spent to much of my life trying to be "normal" instead of allowing my true self to shine.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

The other school of thought that came out of Attention Deficit Disorder is, that when firsted named, there followed a trend where doctors were quick to diagnose ad(h)d at the drop of a hat and prescribe medications.

Wondering if we too easily give our short-comings over to maladies such as this because then we have an excuse for them? Yes, there are always the definite cases, but do you feel that sometimes its gives one reason not to try different approaches to remedying what might otherwise be a 'lazy' mind and/or body?

Just presenting the other side of the coin...don't shoot the messenger please.

I hear you, but there is nothing lazy in ADD ADHD...It's actually a huge pool of energy belonging to a confused person that doesn't understand himself.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

I'm not saying there aren't FAKE cases out there. But I don't get any special services IF I don't take my medication. I am NOT the hyper active kind, I can actually sit still. My mind just wonders and I think of a hundred different things.. I don't want to take it...It makes me feel parniod and Its not for me...

We are SO ready to create in a world that wants our obedience to social norms. What is creative about social norms?

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

mmm..not good Kait!...yeah, i had to deal with an add husband for a time and it aint easy! Like you, he also had a zillion thoughts at once and sprinkle a touch of OCD into that equation...... Mind you though, in his focused times, he was awesome! .

From my own experience, I lived life thinking I was sub-normal. That confusion kept me from getting traction. I'm not confused anymore. I don't participate in anything that doesn't fit with me as much as I can.

Like holidays, I never enjoyed the fakeness of them (except as a kid getting tons of presents). I never enjoyed the pressure of having to be loving to people that I never say outside the holiday.

Now, I don't bother with them. I love birthdays because at least that is tied to something "real", not a belief system. It's a celebration of life in a world that seems to love death.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Moriarty

Same as my husband..through his son having it...and yes, total absorption.

I saw in my oldest a clone of me, and I learned a lot about me seeing that obviously genetics had something to do with my characteristics and not some kind of trauma....or was it? I was a breech with the cord around me neck and quite possibly I had a horrific time in the birth canal. My oldest nearly died of bronchitis when he was 1 month old, choking on his phlegm. I'm leaning towards genetics because in my grandpa and mom, a lot of the same characteristics.

[wstein]

Originally Posted by Kait

... and like computers very much.. I will work on it for hours but when my brain is in a deep sleep (its tired) I want get anything right...No matter how much I work on it...

I was a professional computer programmer for many years. At some level of mental fatigue you are better off turning the computer off and not doing anything. For me some days it is after 5 minutes and others after 7 hours. Trying to forge on past that point just adds more problems that you need to fix later. The difficulty is that only senior programmers can recognize this point and stop before causing more harm than good. So, I do not think it has anything to do with ADD or ADHD.

Originally Posted by Kait

I think we have to break things up to comprehend (this is me) ADD or ADHD is very different for every person.. I know when I am tired...and I work best after a good nights sleep.

Actually all people perform better after a good night’s sleep. Sadly few people and even fewer corporations recognize this. Recent research has shown that sleep can also directly improve performance. Breaking a long task with a sleep break improves output (quantity and quality) for the later part of the task (the part after sleep). Even a nap helps. Recent research on dreams shows that they are key to this improvement.

[Greek Dog]

Wstein - nothing has been more frustrating nor defeating for me than the difficulty and often inability to not finish projects. At some point it even effects the joy associated with beginning a project. The frustration and self-criticism and judgment that attach to the incomplete can be devastating.

There is an entire career field which emerged to address some of this but the kind of money it takes to make use of ADD/ADHD Coaches makes it out of reach for many.

Americans have a sense of self-sufficiency that requires a kind of conformity drummed in beginning with nursery school. Each educational level is about preparing a child for conformity and if you cannot conform you will be penalized and penalized until you DO conform or drop out. Steve Jobs and Wozniak (sp) dropped out only to have some remarkable gift to drop in. But how many remarkable others are there who cannot find the pinhole in in order to use their gifts?????

Ron - there is a Waldorf School in my area. I will check it out. Meanwhile Andy Gubb wrote about Sudbury Valley School which have caught my interest as well and I am looking in to those too. Without question I am looking for a practice that allows a person to develop their abilities and interests and plug them in. The great option would be to apply this to adults who are lost in meaningless work or lives. Wouldn't that be great!

[Kait]

Originally Posted by DarkTears

lol I think I just found the reason I failed 2nd grade XD, it was because we had to mesmorizes a paragraph of things from the bible(I was in a church school) and I could only remember the first part or not even anything at all, and we got one every week and had to say it out loud in-front of everyone at the end of the week............

doesn anyone get tired when they drink caffine, I have ADHD, and im usually none hyper........most of the time, but I keep my hyperness in and change it into energy which makes me able to turn it on and off, most of the times, which makes it hard for me to sleep >w<

And as for memorizing, the only way I could do this (in church) is to try and sing it.. If I did it any other way, it wasn't working.

You have what is called ADHD with "some hyper" this is my daughter..
I cant say I get sleepy or tired with caffine. I cant drink it because I would but up all night too. But it does help me focus some.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

And as for memorizing, the only way I could do this (in church) is to try and sing it.. If I did it any other way, it wasn't working.

You have what is called ADHD with "some hyper" this is my daughter..
I cant say I get sleepy or tired with caffine. I cant drink it because I would but up all night too. But it does help me focus some.

I cheated my way through confirmation. I couldn't see memorizing all these creeds and stuff so I told the pastor that I do better writing from memory vs. speaking from memory. So he let me submit the stuff on paper, which was already written.

[Kait]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Ditto....and I tell the person that I can hear everything around me and in a restaurant, e.g., I will intentionally ask for a table where I feel that I can tune into the person I'm with.

If I accepted the judgment that this is a negative symptom that I have to work on then ADHD would be something to self-loathe in me. That's the wrong approach. That heightened sensitivity plays out so richly in my life. I love it! And if I know that noisy social scenes is not a match with my natural gifts, then why would I go into that environment? To fit in?

No, I need to know myself and live my life according to my likes and dislikes and that's that. I can't be responsible for the "unhappiness" that may bring others. I do my best to explain my limitations and unless they live this, they don't get it, but that doesn't change anything. I have to live in harmony with me or I won't be happy independent of others or things.

I spent to much of my life trying to be "normal" instead of allowing my true self to shine.

Well first let me say, "I'm not bragging" but I'm a woman that's won alot of pagaents....let me come back to this...

When I was a child, 6th grade- My english teacher embarassed me because I had this confused face with the mouth open and such..."this was me trying to process all of her information...I tried... but she embarassed me so bad that I forgot everything she said.

Still till this day I carry that confused face "all the time" but NOT while smiling. I try NOT to leave the mouth open.

I'm just trying to focus.

Today at work, I went off on my boss's wife. She said, You need to smile more, and I said, I'm not working with you today, I'm working with your customers, that don't seem to have a problem with me. If you do, I will go home. I just can't seem to take people who think I'm unhappy because I'm not smiling. Again I was trying to focus.

As for the pageants (life isn't always about smiling or being beautiful) or being someone else's barbie doll robot. Just a little venting section there.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

Well first let me say, "I'm not bragging" but I'm a woman that's won alot of pagaents....let me come back to this...

When I was a child, 6th grade- My english teacher embarassed me because I had this confused face with the mouth open and such..."this was me trying to process all of her information...I tried... but she embarassed me so bad that I forgot everything she said.

Still till this day I carry that confused face "all the time" but NOT while smiling. I try NOT to leave the mouth open.

I'm just trying to focus.

Today at work, I went off on my boss's wife. She said, You need to smile more, and I said, I'm not working with you today, I'm working with your customers, that don't seem to have a problem with me. If you do, I will go home. I just can't seem to take people who think I'm unhappy because I'm not smiling. Again I was trying to focus.

As for the pageants (life isn't always about smiling or being beautiful) or being someone else's barbie doll robot. Just a little venting section there.

nice....intelligence makes one a tough cookie...good for you!

[Kait]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

nice....intelligence makes one a tough cookie...good for you!

Can I add, She didn't want me to go home

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

Can I add, She didn't want me to go home

even better!!

[Kait]

Hi Ron,

I ran into this website and I just wanted to know your thoughts about it..

My brain was on a mission to find out if ADD people loved their gifts in life instead of thinking of their weaknesses most of the time.

ADD - ADHD symptoms - ADD test

So if anyone using this site please please share your experience.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

Hi Ron,

I ran into this website and I just wanted to know your thoughts about it..

My brain was on a mission to find out if ADD people loved their gifts in life instead of thinking of their weaknesses most of the time.

ADD - ADHD symptoms - ADD test

So if anyone using this site please please share your experience.

To me, it looks like a mind game built on hope and ideas to try. The language isn't working for me...it feels like I'm going to be told something new to think vs. realize that to be happy in life, I have to be myself at all costs.

The site seems like its about how to successfully adjust to society.

[Kait]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

To me, it looks like a mind game built on hope and ideas to try. The language isn't working for me...it feels like I'm going to be told something new to think vs. realize that to be happy in life, I have to be myself at all costs.

The site seems like its about how to successfully adjust to society.

I think your right....

If meds cant do it...why does this guy seem to think he has the tricks for me?... I mean, if he is ADD and and we are ADD why wouldnt we have figured out how to improve ourselfs too... duh I honestly don't think he has the answers to help my brain.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Kait

I think your right....

If meds cant do it...why does this guy seem to think he has the tricks for me?... I mean, if he is ADD and and we are ADD why wouldnt we have figured out how to improve ourselfs too... duh I honestly don't think he has the answers to help my brain.

I think he's playing on the desperation of people trying to find a "cure".

[DarkTears]

Originally Posted by Kait

Hi Ron,

I ran into this website and I just wanted to know your thoughts about it..

My brain was on a mission to find out if ADD people loved their gifts in life instead of thinking of their weaknesses most of the time.

ADD - ADHD symptoms - ADD test

So if anyone using this site please please share your experience.

sometimes, us as kids, people dont know and think we dont know, but we do pay attention to EVERY WORD you say, and some who are like me, very emotional, is not a good thing, and we get traumatized, good thing they told me about having ADHD(which equals ADD with hyperness raging from high to low) when was around 13 years old , dont remember when they said it, anyways, I had already at around that time lots of knowledge, and it didnt really affect me since I kinda already knew that it was just a title they put on me, lol that reminds me, I remember when I was little, I remember saying that I wanted to be normal, guess I already knew, when I was lil XD

[RonSouther]

Thanks to those that have posted their stories!

They are linked at the bottom of the page...

ADHD Self Help - A Story of Healing - Profound-Self-Help.com

[RonSouther]

If someone is living with bipolar disorder, please check out what I posted today on my site...thanks!

Living With Bipolar Disorder - An Alternative View - Profound-Self-Help.com