Emotional Space

[StephanieMarie]

Hey everyone

I'm hoping my post will make sense, and I can have some help shedding some light on this situation.

First of all, I'm 20 weeks pregnant. So, please keep that in mind while you read this. I do believe it is causing the issue to be magnified, however, it is still an issue regardless of that.

I have been with my fiance for about a year and a half now, and he is a very very good person. Always there for me, always helping out, so good with my kids and just a generally incredible person. I am very grateful to be with him and really try an respect him. I have a colorful past, and sometimes have a hard time trusting him, however, I'm working on it and trying to heal my wounds so that things are better between us.

The thing is, he is there TOO much. I did some research on what it would be called and I got the best connection with Emotional Space (or lack thereof).

He is very loving, and that's ok. There will be times I'm sitting in the car and my hands will be clasped together, and he'll put his hand on top of mine and then actually break my hands together (gently) to hold my hand.. It irritates me!

Or I'll have an inside joke (from years ago) with someone else, and he'll make a comment and then refer to that inside joke and take it as his own.. It's MY joke.. And I'm ok if he talks about it, but making it his own? Really?

Or I'll be telling a story and he'll turn it around and say, ya one time XX happened to me. I'm all for sharing stories, but isn't there a balance?

I could go on. Yesterday I snapped at him because my oldest needed help cutting her food, and I went to get a knife and he handed me one.. I KNOW he's trying to be helpful, but there's a point when it all comes together and now it's TOO much... KWIM?

I'm trying so hard to understand that he's just really there. And I don't want him to change and all of a sudden be someone completely different. I want ways to make myself more patient and understanding to it, while still having my space respected it.

I wanted to play piano - He said, oh great idea, I can play violin...........

I'm sorry to vent. I love this guy and this is the first time I can honestly say I want to spend my life with someone, but I need to be an individual in there too..

How do I talk to him? How do I be more understanding?

How do I stop bring frustrated about everything? Now, when he tries to tell me something, I am so not interested. It doesn't matter if it's something that has nothing to do with the issue. Now, I just feel so cold towards him sharing things because he's always there!!!!!

TYIA! <3