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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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11-16-2011, 07:05 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 22
 |  How to forgive and let go
Hello guys... I'm having a very difficult time forgiving a person who treated me poorly. I usually would just blow it off as he's a jerk... but I really trusted this person and they violated that trust. I think about it all the time... I've tried to put it out of my mind. Just let it go.. It's the why question... . I doubt that I'll get resolve from them so any tips on letting go would be appreciated. Thanks
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11-16-2011, 07:24 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,444
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Okay, first of all, do you have to keep in touch with this person? --If not, don't, regardless of the reason. --If yes, then you need to get into a position where you don't need to keep in touch with this person. Basically, maintaining contact will only prevent you, I think, from forgiving them. One needs their own space to allow for forgiveness. You're not a doormat. |
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11-17-2011, 07:44 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 11
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I guess u'd have to tell that person the truth (how u feel about them) since your trying to forgive them then you should say you are (so that u'd get that off your shoulders) then see what happens...I also think that it's important that you should stay and hear on what that person has to say(to hear their side of the story)....In my opinion it's easier to forgive a person who's not alive rather than if they are. ~Good Luck~ |
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11-18-2011, 01:59 AM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Junior Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 22
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11-18-2011, 11:07 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Maryland
Posts: 288
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I've been here. I understand. only I know ... I can't can't change the past. I won't let it hault me. time it takes away from my every day life for worst direction. I can only choose to enjoy the day... anyday that for in a brief moment I can find some graitude for anything better than what I had or whatever I had been though. *wish better days ahead* |
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11-18-2011, 11:33 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Funny location joke
Posts: 2,056
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This is a simple thing to fix, no need to read an entire book, rearrange your social network, move to another country or whatever. You have to admit about what it is you are getting out of feeling hurt or betrayed or whatever. Yes I promise you, you are getting something out of it. Righteous indignation maybe I don't know, but whatever it is think of it. The way I find it is to sort of focus in on the feeling and then look at what thoughts you are telling yourself to help sustain that feeling. Like this person is a jerk because they _______. I think you will likely find that you are getting to sustain the the feeling of being a victim and being morally superior because you would never do such and such a thing. Basically you have to make the decision to just give that up and do it. It's really just that simple, once you really genuinely make the decision to stop milking the emotions you can kind of feel a shift. If it comes up again, do it again. Do you want to ruminate and feel like crap? or do you want to move on? the choice is all yours. |
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11-19-2011, 12:47 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 283
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Realize that what they did had nothing to do with you. What they did was only a projection of their own reality. It wasn't about you, it was about their feelings. I heard on Oprah while they introduced the Secret, someone said: "True forgiveness says 'Thank you for giving me that experience'". You've only truly forgiven someone when you could say this to that person. "The greatest loss you have experienced is the greatest gift you can have" ~Byron Katie |
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11-29-2011, 11:10 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 149
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I saw a video to do exactly this... My friend... Enjoy it... Letting go is the hardest part... i'm letting you go - YouTube Cheer up... |
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