Stumped

[Chet]

Hello
I signed up here a few days ago and having been learning a lot reading old threads, lots of good helpful people on this forum.
A few weeks ago a major crisis in my life sparked some major changes. Without even calling it PD that it seems is what I have been doing and overall I am feeling very good, about myself and about the world.
But I have one (ok well maybe thats a bit to optimistic) last bit I need to get my head around and I am STUCK.
I have a rather major choice to make and I just can't get a handle on things.
I guess it could boil down to a 'follow your head or follow your heart' but to me it seems more complex. I can't even seem to get straight which choice is which.
Some more specific questions:
How to isolate thoughts that are strictly a matter of culture conditioning?
Risk assesment .. is risking your sanity or life worth a prize you can't even evaluate properly?
Is it even possible to completely overcome cultural/social conditioning to where you don't get 'bad' emotional response to a situation?
Yes I know it sounds a bit like I am looking for guarantees or fortune telling but not really I just want to make a well reasoned choice.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Chet

Hello
I signed up here a few days ago and having been learning a lot reading old threads, lots of good helpful people on this forum.
A few weeks ago a major crisis in my life sparked some major changes. Without even calling it PD that it seems is what I have been doing and overall I am feeling very good, about myself and about the world.
But I have one (ok well maybe thats a bit to optimistic) last bit I need to get my head around and I am STUCK.
I have a rather major choice to make and I just can't get a handle on things.
I guess it could boil down to a 'follow your head or follow your heart' but to me it seems more complex. I can't even seem to get straight which choice is which.
Some more specific questions:
How to isolate thoughts that are strictly a matter of culture conditioning?
Risk assesment .. is risking your sanity or life worth a prize you can't even evaluate properly?
Is it even possible to completely overcome cultural/social conditioning to where you don't get 'bad' emotional response to a situation?
Yes I know it sounds a bit like I am looking for guarantees or fortune telling but not really I just want to make a well reasoned choice.

Do you mind telling us what the choice is so we can better help you?

[Chet]

I actually avoided the specifics on purpose. As a personal development issue I am looking to figure out good critical thinking paths as well as solve the more immediate problem since I rather doubt it will be the last time I run into complex issues. (maybe more or less of them depending on how this turns out)

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Chet

I actually avoided the specifics on purpose. As a personal development issue I am looking to figure out good critical thinking paths as well as solve the more immediate problem since I rather doubt it will be the last time I run into complex issues. (maybe more or less of them depending on how this turns out)

The best way to do this in my opinion is to first figure out WHAT you want in life. This also means what value's do you want to have met: certainty, uncertainty, significance, love, growth or contribution. If you can figure out your goal the question wich path to take will be trivial.

[Chet]

Wow!
Lightbulbs!!!
Thanks.
I have been focusing way too much on the problem itself instead of the results.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Chet

Wow!
Lightbulbs!!!
Thanks.
I have been focusing way too much on the problem itself instead of the results.

haha no problem.

I'm always happy to help.

[Gary]

Figuring out what you want is a good start buy also has some possible limitations and drawbacks. What if "what you want" is a product in your mind of social conditioning?

In this case we can have multiple and conflicting agreements about what we want. Figuring out what you want becomes a complex problem.

Simple example:

You want the benefits of building equity but don't want the burden of responsibility.

A house will give you stability but you will give up freedoms that the spare money would give you.

If you want learn how your mind makes decisions in this complex array and create a different way of thinking and deciding that is in a lot more awareness I suggest the self mastery course. It will reveal a lot about how your mind and emotions work and help you dissolve your social conditioning.

To answer your question

Is it even possible to completely overcome cultural/social conditioning to where you don't get 'bad' emotional response to a situation?

The answer is Yes.

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Gary

Figuring out what you want is a good start buy also has some possible limitations and drawbacks. What if "what you want" is a product in your mind of social conditioning?

In this case we can have multiple and conflicting agreements about what we want. Figuring out what you want becomes a complex problem.

Simple example:

You want the benefits of building equity but don't want the burden of responsibility.

A house will give you stability but you will give up freedoms that the spare money would give you.

If you want learn how your mind makes decisions in this complex array and create a different way of thinking and deciding that is in a lot more awareness I suggest the self mastery course. It will reveal a lot about how your mind and emotions work and help you dissolve your social conditioning.

To answer your question

The answer is Yes.

I said specifically 'what value's do you want' and this helps evade the social conditioning because you go the core not the surface.

[Chet]

Thanks for the link, I will certainly look into the basic belief changing idea and see if it clarifies anything for me.

[Chet]

So, I get the whole 'releasing emotion' thing, seems I had my own brand of that before I started doing all this reading/studying but the changing beliefs part leaves me really wondering.
Not wondering if it can be done, I am sure it can. I expect those 'Aha' moments are rare cases of instant change. The question is more about doing it in a deliberate fashion, after all that are you still you?
I suppose someone will jump in with the argument that what I am thinking is just the natural resistance to change but I question that idea too. I suspect an equally sounding argument could be constructed that in fact we seek change, mother nature needs that for evolution as much as the body might want to stay in 'safe space'.

Second thing I haven't been able to find much about, maybe somebody has a link or 2?
Body signals from the subconsious ...any work been done on trying to understand what your body is trying to say based on the symptoms?

[Freelancer]

Originally Posted by Chet

So, I get the whole 'releasing emotion' thing, seems I had my own brand of that before I started doing all this reading/studying but the changing beliefs part leaves me really wondering.
Not wondering if it can be done, I am sure it can. I expect those 'Aha' moments are rare cases of instant change. The question is more about doing it in a deliberate fashion, after all that are you still you?
I suppose someone will jump in with the argument that what I am thinking is just the natural resistance to change but I question that idea too. I suspect an equally sounding argument could be constructed that in fact we seek change, mother nature needs that for evolution as much as the body might want to stay in 'safe space'.

Second thing I haven't been able to find much about, maybe somebody has a link or 2?
Body signals from the subconsious ...any work been done on trying to understand what your body is trying to say based on the symptoms?

I had very similar problems that I didn't feel myself anymore. There are a couple of things that made me realize this is silly. First is that every human being is everchanging and the the 'you' that made the message is not the same 'you' that is reading this answer. So regardless whether you consciously choose for changing your going to change anyway.

To me its the distinction between allowing the circumstances change you or changing yourself based on your own VALUES. Your thought patterns and habits is not 'you' its a construct on top of you to HELP you. This took me a long time to understand because we identify ourselves constantly by the way we think and behave. Now I knew this intellectually (somehow don't ask me how lol) but never internalized it untill I started consciously changing myself.

This made me feel less bad about changing myself, even though I understood intellectually that it had to happen because I didn't want to stay the person I was...