Further than "how to be confident"

[Sinestre]

Asking "How do I be more confident" or whatever is a common question, and has a plethora of answers, but what I want to know is the next level up (or down if we're talking depth).

"How do I become confident"
Answers: You 'act' confident, you direct your imagination towards success and not failure, you hold a certain posture when you walk, you talk a certain way.

No one ever seems to be able to give me a practical answer:
How do you 'act' confident, and how do you do those things that qualify as acting confident?
How do you constantly keep your imagination on success when negative imaginations are so automatic? How do you continue to imagine success?
How do you hold a confident posture, literally? How do you sound confident when you talk?

I almost want meta-instructions, I want the answers to the questions where people just say "Oh you need to figure that out for yourself".

Someone must know what I'm on about here!

[mitchelle]

Negative thoughts will never be perished.But,we can controll it.It is our nature of having dual thoughts,negative and positive.I use to have a "positive-thinking attitude" book which I bring wherever I go.When I feel hopeless I'll read the book again and again although I've read it for many times."The Climb" by Miley Cyrus is one of my favourite songs.It always increases my spirit.The lyric is so meaningful.

[DANDUNGAN]

I wonder about this as well.

[mitchelle]

Originally Posted by DANDUNGAN

I wonder about this as well.

yeah.I've been wondering about this for so long too.Sometimes,I may feel as if I'm the worst among my friends.Although I use to have the "positive-thinking attitude" book wherever I go but it seems like the negative imagination always follows me till I sometimes feel such a hopeless person,losing the spirit.

[WilliWibald]

o.k., why even trying to trick your mind in being confident? Why not becoming good at something and then being confident follows as a natural consequence?

What do you admire about other people? Most things we admire about other people are skills that can be learned. Get some books about the skill you want to become good at. Then make a plan and work towards getting good at this. And if you keep at it you will be good at it (in some months or years).
So, yes, it takes time. But the next years are going to pass anyways. Why not use them to get good at things that we really would like to learn and then feel good about ourselves.

Hope that helps.

[lifeforce]

Originally Posted by Sinestre

Asking "How do I be more confident" or whatever is a common question, and has a plethora of answers, but what I want to know is the next level up (or down if we're talking depth).

"How do I become confident"
Answers: You 'act' confident, you direct your imagination towards success and not failure, you hold a certain posture when you walk, you talk a certain way.

No one ever seems to be able to give me a practical answer:
How do you 'act' confident, and how do you do those things that qualify as acting confident?
How do you constantly keep your imagination on success when negative imaginations are so automatic? How do you continue to imagine success?
How do you hold a confident posture, literally? How do you sound confident when you talk?

I almost want meta-instructions, I want the answers to the questions where people just say "Oh you need to figure that out for yourself".

Someone must know what I'm on about here!

You want meta instructions, when it´s nothing more than an attitude. An attitude that says "I CAN" instead of "I can´t".

The thing about confidence is that, when you´re confident, you really don´t think about it. It just is. You just are. It means nothing to you. I am confident in my abilities to tie my shoes. See how stupid that sounds?

Now of course, most people talk about being confident as it relates to interpersonal communication, social life and relationships. In this regard, it is about knowing how good you are. "Knowing" is just a word for strong belief. And we can choose to believe anything. Thats the good thing. So when you are confident, you basically only have good thoughts about yourself. Yes, nobody is perfect and we all have flaws, but there are those things that are objective, such as "I suck at math" and things that are subjective, like "I am a sexy mofo". Those things that are subjective, are worth focusing on. Whatever you want to be, tell yourself that you are that. In the mirror, ten minutes daily. Subjective things are those adjectives that really can´t be proven. Nobody can prove that I am sexy or fun to be around. It´s in the eye of the beholder. Some people will hate you no matter what you do. Some people will love you. Like justin bieber. It´s all about how you feel about yourself. If you feel insecure, thats the bodylanguage you put off. If you feel sexy, thats the vibe you put of.


When you ask horrible questions like, how do I become confident, your conscious mind asks the question, and your subconscious automatically starts to search for the answers. A better way is to ask better questions. Like, why am I so confident? Why am I so cool? They´re called affOrmations. They work faster than affIrmations in my experience.


Anyways, need more details. What do you feel insecure about?