Anger building up inside of me

[Little Legend]

Hi everyone, lately a lot of anger has been building up inside me due to stress and pressure, but there's there are certain incidents in my home that really ticks me off and makes me want to punch a wall.

Living at home with my 23 year old brother is a pain in the ass (I'm 21). No matter what I do he is nitpicking the hell out of me just to show that I'm a burden to the family.

For example, if I walked out of a washroom and moved the floor mat in front of the door by accident, he would make it such a big deal that he would make a big "sighhhhhhh" and exaggerate the movement of having to restore it back to it's original place. It gets to a point where I open the front door for him and he makes those little comments just for me to hear as he brings the mail back to the house from the mail box (implying that I forgot to check the mail even though I opened the door for him....like wtf?)

The twist is, he has made a lot of similar mistakes that he complains so much about, but I just help him fix it without saying a damn word (even though he is unaware of it most of the time), so one day I had enough and had to confront him because I was going to explode with all that anger inside me! Then he proceeds to say stuff like how I'm a spoiled dependent brat and I don't know how to do anything and stuff like that.

It's such a pain in the ass going through all of this because personally I am well aware of my responsibilities and chores at home, but being a normal human being I do tend to forget things and when you have a brother that tends to bag you on things that even he commits on a regular basis and does not realize it, it really pisses you off.

I have not talked to him for probably a week after this incident (not like we talked much in the first place anyways), even though I thought he might've toned this down a bit after my confrontation, recently he pulled the same crap again which is just starting to piss me off to no ends.

Like what am i supposed to do?

It is also worth mentioning that this sibling of mine have said nonsense in the past that have fired me up. For example, when I first started applying for a University Co-op Program and asked him for advice, he simply told me to give up Co-op before I started because with my lack of experience I would not even be able to land an interview (although I have not been able to secure a workterm, I have had around 9 interviews thus far)

When I told my mom that she seems to be dissatisfied with a lot of things in life, my brother thought I was describing myself, and he responded by saying "why don't you just go suicide then".

How is this jerk my brother?

[Curious cat]

Sounds as though there are lots of issues here. Of course it's difficult to imagine the full dynamics of your family, but one thing stuck out for me, and that he resents you and perceives you to have it easier than him. So in a way he is possibly trying to even the playing field (aka sibling rivalry). Does this sound plausible to you?

Where do your folks fit in this picture? Are they consistent in the treatment of their children? Could they possibly be more critical of your brother, meanwhile, letting you get away with the same behaviour?

I'm not entirely sure i have any answers for you. I'd suggest talking to your brother about it, so you have the issue out in the open first in order to address it. But if both parties are too defensive and too caught up in acting out their role in the family dynamic, it can be challenging. Effective communication is a skill that many of us need to learn.

[lifetimelearner]

Hugs !

when I was younger there was a lot of sibling rivalry in my household and I still held onto all those 'hurtful' incidences for a long time after I moved out

but I learned that it just doesn't matter what other people think of me
unless of course I am an assh....just kidding

no really you are allowing someone else to dictate how you feel
and anger is one of those emotions that can be very overwhelming

I agree with Curious cat about communication being important between you guys
but also if you want to know more about how to let go of the anger
read The power of Now - Eckhart Tolle TV | Books - Now
also Steve wrote about the book here :The Power of Now