depression & motivation

[Partaker]

I am attempting to manage a pretty bad bout of depression without turning to medication. I have never been a fan of medication of most kinds but a few people in my life have been encouraging me to try an antidepressant. I want to give myself another month or so before I consider the option.

My lack of motivation has become my biggest frustration lately since i've decided to try and beat this. I've written a list of things that will improve my life/mood that I am slowly working on but my low motivation keeps getting in the way. Its a viscous cycle and I am confused about why I can't make myself do the things I so badly want to..

Some background: A close family member died unexpectedly 6 months ago and I am still going through a lot of denial and anger. I almost had myself completely convinced the other day that I could and would find a way to turn back time by a year and prevent his death. Crazy things like this are some of my only comforting thoughts. My love life, work life, and family life(due to the recent death) are all unusually dramatic right now - it seems like literally everything is happening at once.

I have faith that I can overcome this depression without any meds but I just can't find the motivation to follow through on anything right now.

[lifetimelearner]

sorry to hear about your loss

one of the biggest issues with depression is the lack of energy plus you have some grief issues also and this certainly puts a damper on any motivation you may have

I certainly admire you for trying to do this without medication but you have to be careful of the vicious cycle that the depressed mood can cause

exercising can help-studies show it can take up to six months to work but it does help
walking in nature
comedy shows
being with good friends
a therapist maybe ?

you don't have to do this alone

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by Partaker

I am attempting to manage a pretty bad bout of depression without turning to medication. I have never been a fan of medication of most kinds but a few people in my life have been encouraging me to try an antidepressant. I want to give myself another month or so before I consider the option.

My lack of motivation has become my biggest frustration lately since i've decided to try and beat this. I've written a list of things that will improve my life/mood that I am slowly working on but my low motivation keeps getting in the way. Its a viscous cycle and I am confused about why I can't make myself do the things I so badly want to..

Some background: A close family member died unexpectedly 6 months ago and I am still going through a lot of denial and anger. I almost had myself completely convinced the other day that I could and would find a way to turn back time by a year and prevent his death. Crazy things like this are some of my only comforting thoughts. My love life, work life, and family life(due to the recent death) are all unusually dramatic right now - it seems like literally everything is happening at once.

I have faith that I can overcome this depression without any meds but I just can't find the motivation to follow through on anything right now.

Allow your depression...it's a healing process, not a process to get depressed about. To be depressed over your depression is ill.

Allow it...move into it. See how open you are to learning where possibly before your depression you felt like you had a good handle on life. Depression is a wakeup call that we don't know what we thought we did. It's a collapse of our belief system that is our crutch. It proves that we don't know enough about life and need to learn more.

Depression is a door...walk through it...stop staring at the door.

To walk through the door, you will have to look into a mirror and see your flaws. You're only real flaw is "ignorance"...you simply don't know what you thought you did. The medicine for ignorance is intelligent perspective in order to replace beliefs with "knowing". Not memorized knowledge, but a true knowing.

For me, my source of perspective is from this guy...please click here and search "depression" or "depress*" to get variations of the word and see if you get a new perspective...not a new belief, not a mind game, but see that perhaps depression is part of a healing process and not in itself a problem at all. Search the Osho Online Library

[quiethumir]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Allow your depression...it's a healing process, not a process to get depressed about. To be depressed over your depression is ill.

Allow it...move into it. See how open you are to learning where possibly before your depression you felt like you had a good handle on life. Depression is a wakeup call that we don't know what we thought we did. It's a collapse of our belief system that is our crutch. It proves that we don't know enough about life and need to learn more.

Depression is a door...walk through it...stop staring at the door.

To walk through the door, you will have to look into a mirror and see your flaws. You're only real flaw is "ignorance"...you simply don't know what you thought you did. The medicine for ignorance is intelligent perspective in order to replace beliefs with "knowing". Not memorized knowledge, but a true knowing.

For me, my source of perspective is from this guy...please click here and search "depression" or "depress*" to get variations of the word and see if you get a new perspective...not a new belief, not a mind game, but see that perhaps depression is part of a healing process and not in itself a problem at all. Search the Osho Online Library

I agree with Ron. When you fight your depression, you perpetuate it. What you resist, persists. What you accept you gain power over. Just let the depression be there and accept that you have it.

The next step is to find a good therapist to work with your issues

Good luck!

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by quiethumir

I agree with Ron. When you fight your depression, you perpetuate it. What you resist, persists. What you accept you gain power over. Just let the depression be there and accept that you have it.

The next step is to find a good therapist to work with your issues

Good luck!

Thanks...I would say that you gain power over your depression per se but that the depression leaves you.

Therapists for the most part play mind games unknowingly. There is no cure for depression except for the person to find self, to know self. That eliminates the need for ego, eliminates the need for others to say only good things about you, eliminates the need to compare self to others. Therapists by and large try to use one pole of the mind to control the depress pole using happy talk and it doesn't work.

So the self help industry does little good but makes lots of $$$.

[scotthegeek]

I know my case is different I have had bouts of low grade depression all my life and when being unemployed it would become worse.

I thought drugs too my whole life and I'm 49 and I have been on antidepressant about 6 month and its the best thing I have done. I has allowed me to enjoy things without fighting all the time to stay up.

Most people say I don't want to be on meds if it is not cure and I was thinking that way too. But if the meds cut the depression and anxiety in haft and you can go to living instead of just coping would that not be better than where your at know?

It was a had decision to make. I don't know why everyone is so stubborn when it comes to antidepressant. People take meds for physical illness but when it come to mental illness its a had thing to swallow your pride and admit anything is wrong I guess.

Hugs

Scott

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by scotthegeek

I know my case is different I have had bouts of low grade depression all my life and when being unemployed it would become worse.

I thought drugs too my whole life and I'm 49 and I have been on antidepressant about 6 month and its the best thing I have done. I has allowed me to enjoy things without fighting all the time to stay up.

Most people say I don't want to be on meds if it is not cure and I was thinking that way too. But if the meds cut the depression and anxiety in haft and you can go to living instead of just coping would that not be better than where your at know?

It was a had decision to make. I don't know why everyone is so stubborn when it comes to antidepressant. People take meds for physical illness but when it come to mental illness its a had thing to swallow your pride and admit anything is wrong I guess.

Hugs

Scott

We need to see that much of what drives depression is the pressure from society that puts demands on us that are impossible to meet. So the need for relief from depression will continue so long as society continues to demand and not love or you rise above to see the big picture of the illusion that society is so that you simply don't care what people think one way or another anymore about you.

[illbreaker]

I've had a traumatic experience that brought about depression for me. I had never experienced such a low as I was feeling. I always thought people that went through depression and suicide had mental problems to begin with. I was wrong. I had never felt so awful and would have gone through any extreme to end my despair. Lucky for me, I went to visit my doctor. I'm on Zoloft and I am glad I did. After about three weeks of oversleeping and crying, I felt better. I feel like my old self again. I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life, but for the time being I accept that I need them.

I considered psychotherapy as an alternative or combined treatment, but the meds were enough for me. I suggest you visit a psychologist ASAP. The thoughts and feelings get worse if left untreated.

[fantasydreamer]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

We need to see that much of what drives depression is the pressure from society that puts demands on us that are impossible to meet. So the need for relief from depression will continue so long as society continues to demand and not love or you rise above to see the big picture of the illusion that society is so that you simply don't care what people think one way or another anymore about you.

Yes you're right,my depression comes largely from doing something I don't really want to do...I took this course because it's what is held by society as a prestigious profession...but I wish I knew this sooner that it doesn't really make me happy, I just want to get this over with and do something I want to do. I feel like I've been living my life just to please people and be what society calls as a model citizen...and I gave up a lot of people along the way, just to pursue this goal.

I think to overcome depression, you just have to be happy and contented from within you ... so hard to do though, especially if you are surrounded with people who look down on you if you're not this and that, if you don't have this and that and they treat u as worthless...

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by fantasydreamer

Yes you're right,my depression comes largely from doing something I don't really want to do...I took this course because it's what is held by society as a prestigious profession...but I wish I knew this sooner that it doesn't really make me happy, I just want to get this over with and do something I want to do. I feel like I've been living my life just to please people and be what society calls as a model citizen...and I gave up a lot of people along the way, just to pursue this goal.

I think to overcome depression, you just have to be happy and contented from within you ... so hard to do though, especially if you are surrounded with people who look down on you if you're not this and that, if you don't have this and that and they treat u as worthless...

Happiness happens....you can't decide it. It's a byproduct of living true to self and not for others. Be selfish enough to reclaim your individuality and in that wholeness, a joy will happen in your life that will become a selfless gift to others.

First take care of the roots and then your will bloom into your full potential. So long as you're stuck in depression, you can't bloom. And you can't get out of depression until you take care of you first before others. To deny self while trying to please others leaves you depressed that you don't have the courage to be yourself.

[scotthegeek]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

We need to see that much of what drives depression is the pressure from society that puts demands on us that are impossible to meet. So the need for relief from depression will continue so long as society continues to demand and not love or you rise above to see the big picture of the illusion that society is so that you simply don't care what people think one way or another anymore about you.

I agree that the pressure from society is a great contributor to depression. I don't want to go over my past on here again its a waste of time very few understand. With antidepressant I have a life now and know amount of books talk therapy help much and I was smart enough understand what everyone is saying but my brain was not working right and difference is night and day with meds.

Scott

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by RonSouther

Thanks...I would say that you gain power over your depression per se but that the depression leaves you.

Therapists for the most part play mind games unknowingly. There is no cure for depression except for the person to find self, to know self. That eliminates the need for ego, eliminates the need for others to say only good things about you, eliminates the need to compare self to others. Therapists by and large try to use one pole of the mind to control the depress pole using happy talk and it doesn't work.

So the self help industry does little good but makes lots of $$$.

sorry to disagree but I work with a wonderful therapist that uses self-empowerment techniques that works wonders for people

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by scotthegeek

I agree that the pressure from society is a great contributor to depression. I don't want to go over my past on here again its a waste of time very few understand. With antidepressant I have a life now and know amount of books talk therapy help much and I was smart enough understand what everyone is saying but my brain was not working right and difference is night and day with meds.

Scott

if the medications work for you Scott that is great
nobody is looking down on you for taking them

[Partaker]

Thanks for all of the replys. I will definitely take some time to check out that link.

I was raised in an abusive home so depression or whatever you want to call it is nothing new to me. Although, how i've been feeling lately is much different than anything i've ever experienced. I think I can tend to make myself feel worse by obsessing over the fact that I got through such a rough childhood with a smile on my face and straight A's in school-why can't I manage now? I don't like feeling so much weaker as an adult...

I don't cry much and I tend to suppress things that bother me, so I think actually facing my depression head on is beneficial in my case. Otherwise, I have major breakdowns after weeks of zombie/robot mode.

The past few weeks I have felt a bit better. Talking to my friends and family about how I feel, limiting myself to 8 hours of sleep, poetry, music, and a few new houseplants seemed to have helped. I remind myself to think positive every day and I focus on the little things that make me happy- even if its just appreciating the weather or my favorite shampoo. Hopefully if I continue to consciously have a positive attitude on a daily basis, my motivation to make some bigger efforts will fall into place.

[lifetimelearner]

I tend to like Viktor Frankl's viewpoint when it concerns depression -he stated that people with depression are 'caught' in a situation called the ' existential vacuum '-a void within themselves


and I can also tie into Eckhart Tolle's teaching of the 'pain-body' since an emotion is the body's response to a thought
all negative emotions :unhappiness

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

sorry to disagree but I work with a wonderful therapist that uses self-empowerment techniques that works wonders for people

I didn't say everyone.

[lifetimelearner]

gotcha !

[AZen]

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I would like to share with you the following videos. Best Motivational Video | InsiderZen

They were really helpfull to me and the people I love. The author Nick is a wonderfull person. I recommend you to search in youtube or his website more material. It will give you a small pill to feel better and hopefully find the momentum to stand back stronger.

I wish you all the best!

[alirosie]

glad to hear lifetimelearner saying they disagree as i do too - "allowing" the depression would definitely not be a good thing for me

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by alirosie

glad to hear lifetimelearner saying they disagree as i do too - "allowing" the depression would definitely not be a good thing for me

I don't think lifetimelearner was disagreeing about that point.

It was more about the mention that self-help was a waste of time.

Denying that you are depressed will only make you more depressed. Accepting that you are depressed and allowing it to be will allow you to move through it, instead of resisting it.

[Partaker]

Originally Posted by AZen

I'm really sorry to hear that.

I would like to share with you the following videos. Best Motivational Video | InsiderZen

They were really helpfull to me and the people I love. The author Nick is a wonderfull person. I recommend you to search in youtube or his website more material. It will give you a small pill to feel better and hopefully find the momentum to stand back stronger.

I wish you all the best!

Thanks for sharing these vids.. I got a little teary, that guy is a major inspiration and i'm sure I will meditate on him when I start to feel sorry for myself.

I've been feeling better lately. I talk to friends and family about how I feel and browse these forums frequently. I added 3 new plants to my place - just looking at plants makes me smile. Ironically, in my weakness I found the strength to cut off an unhealthy relationship with my ex. I have been going back and forth with him for over a year now and I was just not able to put up with the extra stress in my life so i'm happy to say i've let that go for good. I still have a ways to go but i'm proud of myself for my positive attitude and positive thoughts.

I am really interested in learning more about positive thinking. When I began forcing myself to think positive, it was so fake and almost comical at first but I kept it up and its starting to become natural again. When I find myself going to dark places in my head I obsess over something small that makes me happy - my strawberry scented shampoo, the taste of watermelon, something so small and so silly but it really has worked to brighten my day to think "damn that shampoo smelled soo good in the shower this morning I can't wait to use it again!" lol .. It was ironically when I realized that I had went an entire week without brushing my hair that I was horrified enough to stop going through the motions and take control of my life again.

Thanks everyone :-)

[Ciaran]

Originally Posted by Partaker

I am attempting to manage a pretty bad bout of depression without turning to medication. I have never been a fan of medication of most kinds but a few people in my life have been encouraging me to try an antidepressant. I want to give myself another month or so before I consider the option.

My lack of motivation has become my biggest frustration lately since i've decided to try and beat this. I've written a list of things that will improve my life/mood that I am slowly working on but my low motivation keeps getting in the way. Its a viscous cycle and I am confused about why I can't make myself do the things I so badly want to..

Some background: A close family member died unexpectedly 6 months ago and I am still going through a lot of denial and anger. I almost had myself completely convinced the other day that I could and would find a way to turn back time by a year and prevent his death. Crazy things like this are some of my only comforting thoughts. My love life, work life, and family life(due to the recent death) are all unusually dramatic right now - it seems like literally everything is happening at once.

I have faith that I can overcome this depression without any meds but I just can't find the motivation to follow through on anything right now.

You CAN do this, it CAN be done. I overcame a very intense depression once, without meds - it was hardcore, but yeah, it is doable.

And then of course - the problem with meds is that they don't resolve any of the issues that led you here.

I'd be more than happy to give you the benefit of my advice, but to really sum it up -

What works for this is NOT to just 'soldier through' and hope it goes away.

Also - hah - the idea that you can 'positive think' your way out of a real depression is an idea only those who have never truly experienced it can entertain.

The best way is to get 'underneath' that depression. I've found that clarity, cool and emotional balance can be directly tapped, and that's really what's going to shift this quickly. It's a weird one, for sure, but I'll talk you through what I've got if you like. Your call.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

You CAN do this, it CAN be done. I overcame a very intense depression once, without meds - it was hardcore, but yeah, it is doable.

And then of course - the problem with meds is that they don't resolve any of the issues that led you here.

I'd be more than happy to give you the benefit of my advice, but to really sum it up -

What works for this is NOT to just 'soldier through' and hope it goes away.

Also - hah - the idea that you can 'positive think' your way out of a real depression is an idea only those who have never truly experienced it can entertain.

The best way is to get 'underneath' that depression. I've found that clarity, cool and emotional balance can be directly tapped, and that's really what's going to shift this quickly. It's a weird one, for sure, but I'll talk you through what I've got if you like. Your call.

This is something a lot of people misunderstand about meds and their role I think.

You don't take meds expecting them to cure you. Meds aren't supposed to fix the problem, they are there to help lift the fog in your brain long enough for you to work out why you are depressed, and deal with the issues at the root.

While you are sunken and hopeless, no progress towards discovering the root causes can be made because you are spending all your energy just getting through the day and dealing with feeling so terrible.

Meds lift the fog, which lets you see things again without that blackness.

I think they can be a useful tool, as long as you know when to start weening off them. Many people just take them thinking they are going to be cured, because of the way people are so brainwashed into thinking that taking pills is the solution. It's lazy thinking, because you still need to be the one making all the effort in your recovery, it's just that the meds make it a bit easier to be able to.

Hey, they've saved lives before, so they can't be that bad. I had a pretty good experience with them though...others haven't had good experiences.

[kcgolden]

If your depression continues to get worse, try the antidepressants. I have been on/off them most of my adult life. Depression, in some people, can change the chemicals in your brain so much that you may not be able to handle it on sheer willpower alone.

[Partaker]

Originally Posted by Ciaran

Also - hah - the idea that you can 'positive think' your way out of a real depression is an idea only those who have never truly experienced it can entertain.

The best way is to get 'underneath' that depression. I've found that clarity, cool and emotional balance can be directly tapped, and that's really what's going to shift this quickly. It's a weird one, for sure, but I'll talk you through what I've got if you like. Your call.

I think positive thinking is a great start and directly relates to finding "that clarity, cool and emotional balance" again.

[JackDalton]

Originally Posted by scotthegeek

Most people say I don't want to be on meds if it is not cure and I was thinking that way too. But if the meds cut the depression and anxiety in haft and you can go to living instead of just coping would that not be better than where your at know?

It was a had decision to make. I don't know why everyone is so stubborn when it comes to antidepressant. People take meds for physical illness but when it come to mental illness its a had thing to swallow your pride and admit anything is wrong I guess.

I was put on pretty much ever SSRI they had alone and in various combinations in my early twenties when my depression peaked after a relationship of mine hit the skids. The side effects varied from prescription to prescription, but they were all intolerable to me. The worst was severe insomnia with awful nightmares when I would finally sleep from sheer exhaustion every few days. And none of them particularly helped the depression, a few made far worse.

These days, I have to be medically certified for certain activities I actually enjoy participating in, and any antidepressant use is immediately disqualifying. Whoever writes the rules still associates some stigmata with their use, so even if I was willing to take the risk of dealing with side effects again to find a cocktail that works (I'm not), I can't without sacrificing that certification and the portion of my life it enables.