It's hard without chaos

[Artelus]

It's hard to live life without any stress, drama, chaos, or worries.

When I feel like I'm at peace, I start feeling incredibly lonely. I start feeling bitter, angry, and depressed. I start getting into self destructive activities.

It's a weird cycle that I don't really understand. I feel like I need something bad to distract me from something that only comes up when everything else is quiet.

[elucidate]

I get the same way...but it's a hard call because I don't want drama in my life, or as little as possible. it seems like the alternative is boredom though...which leads to self-destruction.

[Moriarty]

Could this be a mind-set that has been cemented from the past?

Peace is not a personalised commodity...it's a state of being that carries no expectations.

Boredom can spring from many emotional issues...such as, anxiety, fear, self-doubt, lack of self-confidence, depression, instability, insecurity, inability to focus or harness, lack of stimulation, etc.

Perhaps explore your deeper feelings by asking yourself the reasons for feeling bored? Write down one-word keys and see if you can discover where these feelings spring from.

[cassiopeia]

Yup, I can identify with this. I have been a hardcore drama addict in the past, and I've got many interesting stories to entertain my future grandchildren with.

The past few months I have spent mostly being at home, meditating, trying to sort out my life, etc. And yes, it has been boring. I do find myself trying to create chaos in my head. A thing that has helped though, is channelling this into constructive projects. It has to be something that I am passionate about, which for me is painting. I go through the full spectrum of emotions when I paint.

[RonSouther]

The drama is a something you can decide to do in order not to face yourself. It's a guaranteed distraction because nearly everyone will take a bite from the drama bait you toss them either out of fear or out of some idea that they can help you in life, which is still fear in the sense they are scared for you and want to help.

The drama is an escape. It's creating a psuedo-event. It's like screaming "FIRE!!!!" in a movie theatre just to enjoy the drama of watching the fear in everyone.

It's a game of domination too, a power trip. It feels like you're controlling life. You're pushing the button in someone else and getting a reaction.

So look inside and ask "escape from what?"

[Awesome Life]

Hi Artelus,

It seems to me that when you say you are peace that you are't really at peace (duh me!). It sounds as if there's a much deeper want that your body or your true self is crying out for you to address. Somebody who has discovered their true purpose in life and is working towards it can be at peace and be satisfied with little chaos going on.

You may have things going on your life which temporary block your true inner desires however they come back to remind you that there is something you are missing in your life right now, hence the cycles.

I would still avoid the chaos and use these quiet times to get thinking about where these emotions stem from. Have you found your true purpose in life? Are you neglecting an important area of your life? Do you have unfinished business in an important area?