How to regain calmness when I am stressed and alone

[NickWeb]

So my biggest problem is that when I am subjected to stress (for example issues related love) I cannot think about anything but the source of the stress. I cannot eat I cannot do anything. In cases like this when I talk to people the stress becomes managable. But before that it is like unbearable.

I need a method that helps me calm down when I am completely alone.

Please do not suggest to get a hobby or anything like this, but a method that really works in such cases. Thank you in advance.

[Acting Like Godot]

Ahhh, the curse of the extrovert.

As for introverts like myself, the best way to become calm is to be completely alone.

[AaronB]

In other words how do I get rid of the feelings that are here and replace them with better ones? We use our mind to make life look different, so that we no longer experience discomfort. This doesn't really address anything. It removes something from our vision that we don't want to see. With all emotions, until you have allowed yourself to experience them fully, they remain unresolved and at best buried somewhere out of sight. The most direct approach to moving past the situation you describe is to stop using your mind as a vehicle to get away from what you don't want to experience, and just allow your attention to go to the actual feeling of it.

[sharshar89]

Originally Posted by AaronB

In other words how do I get rid of the feelings that are here and replace them with better ones? We use our mind to make life look different, so that we no longer experience discomfort. This doesn't really address anything. It removes something from our vision that we don't want to see. With all emotions, until you have allowed yourself to experience them fully, they remain unresolved and at best buried somewhere out of sight. The most direct approach to moving past the situation you describe is to stop using your mind as a vehicle to get away from what you don't want to experience, and just allow your attention to go to the actual feeling of it.

Im facing what he is facing just that its in greater intensity..When Im so busy doing work or when Im watching TV/ surfing net I forget about it..When Im in public transport I become so obsessed over the thought that I have panic attacks

[SireneB]

Yoga breathing exercises (pranayama) are good, because you can do them almost anywhere and you don't need anything external to be able to do them. I don't know how well they'd work for someone outside of the context of a yoga practice, but would be worth a try.

One such exercise is alternate nostril breathing: use your right thumb to close off your right nostril, and take a long deep breath with only your left nostril. Then pivot the hand to close off only your left nostril with your forefinger and let the breath out of your left nostril, slowly, then breath in with your left nostril and pivot the hand to close only your right nostril and let the breath out of your right nostril, keep going in this pattern for at least 3 minutes. This is a form of meditation, so as thoughts try to come to your mind, don't let them in.

This is supposed to help balance the sun (active) and moon (still) energies. When I do it, I find it puts me in a deep sense of calmness and feeling in control, which helps with stress.

Good luck.

[RonSouther]

Originally Posted by NickWeb

So my biggest problem is that when I am subjected to stress (for example issues related love) I cannot think about anything but the source of the stress. I cannot eat I cannot do anything. In cases like this when I talk to people the stress becomes managable. But before that it is like unbearable.

I need a method that helps me calm down when I am completely alone.

Please do not suggest to get a hobby or anything like this, but a method that really works in such cases. Thank you in advance.

I have one of these...it's amazing how quickly it works... Official StressEraser - From $119 - Lowest Price! -

A biofeedback device

[VinceG]

Breathe. Deep and fully.

[Canadian]

Maybe part of the problem is that for you the idea of having stress adds to the stress? Maybe you have to let go of the need to be stress-free?

I would suggest just sitting and feeling the stress as powerfully as possible. When you just concentrate on the emotion itself without connecting it to any concept aside from itself, then the feeling is not so scary anymore and will dissipate on its own.