|Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT|
| ||Thread Tools||Display Modes|
|05-09-2007, 05:43 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
My latest revelation :D
Yesterday a few extraordinary things happened to me, its something I've been working on for 4 (!) months or so without even knowing it. Finally it hit me, one of my disempowering beliefs I've held for very long crumbled away and it feels GREAT.
The revelation I got was;
People are nice and friendly !!
Wow what a change to my old belief of;
People are nasty and hostile...
This might not seem like a big difference to most people but for me its one part thats been holding me back SO much. Let me explain the process I went through from beginning to end.
About 4 months ago I started on this whole Personal Development journey, during this time I also started a my own Herbalife business as a Individual Distributor (if you can't stand network marketing stop talking to me ). Very early on I realized I needed to change my people skills and get over some of my fears.
haha this is where the problems started, I mean sure knowing that I have to change is one thing actually doing it is another. So for the first 2 months or so I was studying PD and kidding myself that I was taking action towards my goals, while in reality I was just intellectually masturbating.
I think it was about a month ago when I actually started changing internally, after all I was throwing a lot of idea's against a wall (my mind) atleast some had to stick. During this time I launched a blog, cleaned up my living space and actually took some small steps in advancing my business.
This is where I started running into some nasty barriers, I wasn't capable of talking to strangers for instance. It seemed intellectually a pretty stupid barrier because intellectually I understood that strangers are not dangerious so why the hell am I affraid??
So I started forcing myself to talk to new people, I signed up for standing behind a stand to promote our business and started calling leads that I got from that. Sounds like a lot right?
Well not really unless a few calls in 3 weeks and one day standing behind a stand doing something I was already capable of doing is a lot.
It didn't matter to me that those where small steps, I started moving in the right direction and it felt GOOD. Sure its tough getting past that initial barrier but once I'm past it I'm on a roll and feeling GREAT.
My brain wasn't able to absorb this however so it continue'd to sabotage me, it was still throwing up these barrier for me to overcome before I could feel awesome. Yesterday something amazing happened and I'll tell that story completely because its for me a life changing event or realization.
Yesterday in the evening I watched the movie 'the pursuit of happyness' which managed to get me into a state of just wanting to make a difference. I mean the struggle this guy went through and the determination was a huge example for me. During the entire story I was thinking 'if only he talked to me instead of selling those x-ray devices, I could have changed his life' but in the back of my mind another small voice was telling me 'thats impossible you don't talk to strangers'.
You have to understand that the other small voice isn't in my conscious mind, because that would make it a choice right there. I also didn't realize at that point that all I had to do was MAKE A CHOICE whether I wanted to talk to strangers or not. It has been said to me by many people (I never met), its YOUR choice what you want to believe and not your past experiences. It just never hit me completely.
At that time I got a phone call from someone, apparantly I forgot to sell some small lottery tickets. I had to get those to him tonight, he was nice about it though (which I registered in the back of my mind). So I said I'd bring it to him in a few hours, I was in the middle of the movie and didn't want to leave just yet. He assured me that wasn't a problem as long as I got it to him tonight.
So after the movie I bought the lottery tickets myself for 10 euro's and went on my way.
While on my way I was thinking about the movie and how I could use this feeling of DRIVE and PASSION in my own life. I thought about all the missed oppertunity's and all the learning experiences in my passed. My mind was however most of all concerned with the future, with idea's on how to build my business and help people design there lifes the way they want.
I had delivered newspapers in that area for 2 years so I already knew where to go, atleast thats what I thought anyway. I knew I had to be at house number 139 but somehow I accidentally rang the doorbell at 239 (small difference right? ). So I asked if this was where I had to deliver my 'merchandise' and it turns out they knew nothing about it.
So the lady that opened the door asked everyone living there if they knew anything about it, they where all most kind. This area where I delivered newspapers is one in relative poverty compared to the rest of the town so I somehow expected them to be bitter, unhealthy people in the back of my mind. Turned out they where really nice and helpfull, so they explained this was 239 and not 139. I realized my mistake and asked if they knew where 139 was located. Once again all of them where asked if they knew and they pointed me in the right direction.
Right before I left the helpfull lady asked me for what club the lottery tickets where. Turns out they where supporters of the club that has been 'enemies' of my club forever, wow another revelation. Those guys on the other side of the road aren't evil, nasty and out to get us.
So we said goodbye, I was almost sad to leave haha. Off I went again, this time I found the right house and delivered the lottery tickets. During this time I had a strange kind of excitement and buzz flowing through me, the world seemed a little bit more rosy than when I woke up this morning. I still didn't fully realize what had happened.
As I was cycling back home I met some 'tough guy' with what looked like his girlfriend. While I was passing by he spit on the ground in my direction, it was a clear sign of disgust. Or thats what I would've thought before, this time I just laughed for no apparant reason. I realized the guy was acting out of weakness, he must have noticed my happiness and joy that he didn't have at that point. So he try'd to do the most natural thing he knows, bring me down to his level. Which obviously failed miserably haha. This guy was the last piece of the puzzle, it hit me like a brick on my forehead what just happened. I was above him, not better than him just above him in terms of compassion and knowledge.
During the evening all kind of new idea's flowed into my mind to expand my business, its like a flood gate opened to let them in.
I hope this helps you realize that changing your beliefs really is worth it, the downside is you can only really understand that once they have changed.
|05-09-2007, 06:50 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
Hey man, that sounds really awesome! I used to kind of be the same way and it wasn't very fun. By that, I mean that deep down I sort of thought strangers didn't like me and were annoyed by me. Either that, or I thought they would be if I talked to them. I'm not saying that I've completely changed, but nowadays, I just reach out to people more. It doesn't matter if I know them or not. I put more emphasis on me being myself than I do on trying to get the reactions I want (or avoiding the ones I don't want.) So now, deep down, I sort of think of everybody as my friend already - even if they don't reflect back the same attitude. And it's great having that connection with people. It brings out good in me that I would have previously been afraid to expose and experience.
I think you're making some good progress!
|05-09-2007, 07:51 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2007
I don't mean to say with the above story that I'm now walking up to strangers and striking conversations, thats still a skill I need to learn. But my mind doesn't sabotage the attempts of learning that new skill anymore, the fear is still there but now its just a fear of change (which is natural). It used to be a fear of change AND a fear that strangers would hurt me in some way...
And thanks for the compliment, I appreciate that a lot.
|05-09-2007, 06:07 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Here, Now
What a great story! (Great movie, too. Now listed as one of my all-time favorites.)
Hey, if you want to take it another step forward (or up!) next time you see a "tough guy" or anyone else who is clearly trying to bring you down to their level, do something to try to bring them up to yours. Smile, or say hi, or visualize sending them a big hug. If the situation allows, do something outwardly kind. Whatever it is, do it from a place of compassion.
It'll send you to the moon! And you never know what sort of positive domino effect it will have on "tough guy" and the people around him.
All times are GMT. The time now is 03:35 PM.