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| Emotional Mastery Emotional intelligence, addiction and recovery, grieving, loss, fear, anger, guilt, resentment, frustration, anxiety, depression, happiness, joy, love, kindness, forgiveness, self-acceptance, confidence, escaping the pit of despair, EFT |
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10-25-2011, 01:09 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
 |  how to cope with severe mental issues/depression
hi all. I have been suffering from many mental issues for a while. The psychologist and a couple of doctors have diagnosed me with clinical depression. I have been taking different anti-depressants for 4-5 months. The current one is sertraline which i have been taking for 3 weeks now. Is it helping? initially i got a bit of relief possibly due to the belief that it was going to work, which helped lift my mood by about 30% and let my mind work again to some degree and some good feelings returned. But not had much relief there after. I'm gonna give it time to work and up the dose if needs be. I have too many symptoms to list but the ones that are causing me my main problems and making life difficult are severe memory and concentration problems. It's as if my mind just won't function at all. Now i've tried to accept that it's because of me feeling depressed that my mind is not functioning but i'm still getting a lot of problems. Like i have a lot of anxious illogical beliefs that i can't deal with because of the way my mind is and therefore causing me more anxiety. Also i just want my mind to work. Nothing else even if it's working a little enough for me to cope with all the rest. I don't feel my mind should be like this even with the most severe depression! I've stopped working pretty much because i'm fed up of going to work in this state with no improvement and struggling so much which in turn increases the anxiety and stress and makes things worse. I can't access my beliefs or thoughts because my mind won't let me  How do i deal with something like this? Why doesn't my depression lift? I have been very patient, i've tried CBT, I've gone back to work, started doing stuff that i would do if i was my normal self, i've improved my diet, i've started taking anti depressants, i've been through counselling, etc. The normal stuff i do some of it is a real struggle and i don't get any enjoyment out of it. I don't feel particularly sad just no real emotion other than anxiety in the back of my mind but i find it impossible to cry or feel really low and depressed. I hardly get any depressive thoughts also which confuses me. However my feelings are definitely repressed because before if i read something that was sad it would make me tearful or low, but now it don't even when close relatives have died i don't feel anything. I can't recall the good times or the good feelings because my mind just won't let me. I've really tried but it's not working. But when i do feel better (very few times) my symptoms do get less. Its just when i'm in this mode it's so hard, almost impossible for my mind to believe that things will go back to there normal ways once the depression lifts. Whatever i tell my self does not register because my mind won't take it in. How do i deal with the anxious thoughts when my mind won't let me  Before anxiety was very easy for me to deal with when my mind was functioning. Now it's so difficult and it causes me a lot of problems. I'm waiting to see another counsellor but in the mean time i want to help myself and if possible get back to some level of mental functioning. Does this seem like moderate/severe depression to you guys? How do i cope with the illogical thoughts that appear real? I also don't understand why i feel depressed, for what reason now? There is nothing in my life for me to feel depressed about? All this did begin after several traumatic events that were related to my memory/mind but i don't know why i'm going through all this pain now. In some ways i'm in denial because it's hard for me to accept that a feeling can cause my mind to go like this and cause all this anxiety and affect my memory this badly. I'm going to post stuff up daily in regards to things that i'm having problems with so that i can learn to cope. Maybe once i learn to cope and accept all this properly i'll begin to feel better and my mind will begin to clear up and work like normal. I need better coping skills or learn to accept?? so i can deal with what is happening with my mind in this present moment. Sorry for nattering on. I wouldn't reach out if didn't have to. This is very tough for me.  ps i just felt a bit better, don't know what lifted my mood a bit ,i'd say by about 20%, but i now can feel something and my mind is allowing me to function to some degree. Need to learn to cope with it though because it's just going to keep coming back unless i show myself and have the confidence that i can cope when it hits me hard. Last edited by logical; 10-25-2011 at 07:41 PM. |
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10-26-2011, 01:43 AM
| #2 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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Depression is a gift, but being depressed about depression is the illness. Quote:
Click here to search "depression" for more insights. :-) Search the Osho Online Library | |
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10-26-2011, 01:53 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Ireland
Posts: 266
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I only had the energy to skim through this, apologies. But from what I've read I've been going through something quite similar. At the minute from what I can see is there is a lot of emotional build up that needs to be unravelled for myself personally. Have you ever had any kind of trauma? Sometimes I would feel differently from how I'm thinking, so positive thinking would take a little longer to have positive effects for me than someone who had come to terms or let go of certain things. At the minute I'm taking time out to really try and quite my mind and see what the hell is going on in there. I recommend making time to go somewhere quite and pleasant to sit where you can detach and meditating where you just let you thoughts roll, don't argue with them or judge them just let them happen and silently watch them. You may be quite surprised! At the minute I'm noticing a lot more mental clarity and emotional equilibrium from coming to terms with and allowing these thoughts and feelings to be naturally released. I'm confident that progress is being made. I hope this helps! |
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10-26-2011, 02:17 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Australia
Posts: 1,662
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This may sound irresponsible, but I speak from experience. Don't be too keen to classify the experience as say ... depression. The label gives the white coats a foundation on which to focus theirs and your attention. Sure you might feel like rubbish day in day out.... but can you write this off as a negative process. What if the experience is working for you but as the same time causing a bit of pain in the transition. Imagine by getting tunnel vision on this that you may miss the eventual subtle changes as a result of being too focused on the pain. All I am saying is be open to it and work on not resisting it. By all means locate what triggered it.... and something that occurred did trigger it. By doing that it may give you some insight into the nature of the beast. Work towards getting away from the meds, ultimately they will mask the process but sooner or later the fat lady sings.... |
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10-26-2011, 02:31 AM
| #5 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006
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10-26-2011, 04:02 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 85
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Was there a trigger? Do your psychologists think that this is mental illness, or a temporary phase? Be patient with the meds. I had some experience with a loved one who was mentally ill and getting the meds right took some time. This is particularly important if you are diagnosed with a depressive disorder, not a temporary condition that came from an event. If you're not sure, ask your psychologist what they think, maybe they know, maybe not. If it was event driven, have you started to cope with the cause? Try starting just a little bit. Bring the pain causing event to mind, even for a fraction of a second, then let it go. Keep doing this everyday and the pain should start to diminish. Real relief might take a long time but once you're along the path a bit and not feeling suicidal you can consider going off the meds and trying to cope with the pain more directly. It seems to me that by recognizing and acting to improve your mood you will make progress. When you get those little snatches of happiness, hold them and appreciate them. I wrote something that might help you, though it's not focused specifically on depression but more the mechanisms of happiness. Maybe you'll find some value within. How You Can Be Happier - What The Ancients Knew That We Have Forgotten Hang in there. It will get better. |
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10-26-2011, 05:33 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Madison, WI
Posts: 961
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You posted last May about your depression and I responded. I reread my response to you. I can tell you six months later I am doing much better. In my case, anxiety definetly caused a lot of memory and thinking difficulties. Did you read the Eckart Tolle book? My advice is going to be the same as last time. Get quiet, observe what is going on in your mind. Don't judge it as bad or good. Just find out what you are thinking about. For the anxiety - stopping caffeine was a huge help to me. Also exercising can help release anxiety. As far as meds, it can take quite a while to find the right med for you. I used serataline in the past and although the first time I took it helped. But a few years later when I went back on it, it just made me feel numb. So my doctor switched me to celexa it has worked wonders for me. It takes about 6 -8 weeks for an antidepressant to fully take effect. I also don't understand why i feel depressed, for what reason now? There is nothing in my life for me to feel depressed about? All this did begin after several traumatic events that were related to my memory/mind but i don't know why i'm going through all this pain now. In some ways i'm in denial because it's hard for me to accept that a feeling can cause my mind to go like this and cause all this anxiety and affect my memory this badly. Feelings can cause your mind to do this because your feelings need your attention. They are trying to get your attention so your emotions will do whatever it takes to get attention. You don't have to have bad things going on now to be depressed. It could be something from childhood, or from a few years ago that you weren't aware of. As I child, I wasn't allowed to get angry and show anger. It eventually turned into depression after many years. This doesn't get better overnight. Even though I've improved a lot in the past six months, I have already been working for about 3 years previously to figure out what I was feeling and thinking because I had no idea what was really going on inside of me. Edit to add: You are going to have to be patient. If you are feeling depressed and your mind isn't working just accept what is going on. Just be with it. I know that is the hardest thing to do. I would try to run away from by being busy, eating, sleeping. But eventually you learn to just feel depressed without trying to "fix" it. It will get better. Last edited by rawxstasy; 10-26-2011 at 05:36 AM. |
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10-26-2011, 12:22 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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Hi. Basically when i was revising for some important exams i overloaded my mind. I couldn't remember anything. It was a very traumatic experience at the time. My mind went through hell because i just kept trying and trying. This then reoccured due to anxiety from this experience for the next exams and then the next and then my mind became like this generally. Before all this i was a very happy, bright, confident. Now i'm the opposite. I'll tell you guys what has helped me a lot in the past. When i was diagnosed with depression i started to feel sad and down rather than fight/force my mind to work and guess what my symptoms were getting better and i was feeling as if the traumas i've experienced were being neutralised in my mind with this sadness feeling and things were improving daily. Maybe i should just feel low and depressed and accept it all. I never viewed depression as a problem before but i guess reading about all the symptoms and getting it drilled in my mind by my previous psychologist that made me view it more of a problem that needed fixing rather than something that is natural to go through especially after so many traumatic experiences. i'm actually feeling depressed a bit right now after reading the posts which i'm very happy to feel considering i don't feel much at all and i can notice some of my mental symptoms easing like the headache is not as severe and my mind is opened a little. But it's as if anxiety is stopping me from feeling properly depressed. I still think i should have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder because it's as if what i went through when i was studying is what my mind is experiencing now. One doctor i saw recently who prescribed the sertraline said you don't look depressed through the way your talking and behaviour it seems more anxiety related. And feeling depressed actually helps!! Because it allows the emotions built up over such a long time out and it's probably the easiest way to let them out. I hardly feel down or sad about my situation and what i'm going through and the things that i've missed out on because of my mind being like this, like a normal person would. Maybe that is what is needed so that i can let my emotions out? May be i should stop pretending to be strong and just feel depressed rather than fighting all the symptoms and then just let it flow. Initially it was on and off since 2006 then after 2009 its been like this most of the days. Been a little improvement but not had good improvement for about 5 months or so. Thanks for the help guys. Last edited by logical; 10-26-2011 at 12:48 PM. |
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10-26-2011, 02:32 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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Pure depression is essentially a collapse of a belief system. What you expected to happen, based on your beliefs, didn't happen. Depression is an emotion reflecting that reality. It's an opportunity to reflect on your beliefs and learn from your mistakes. It's part of the process of waking up to the truth of life and one huge truth is that we are not in control of it. The whole of life marches on with or without our permission. Truth needs no believers and will always collapse your beliefs. So it's a matter of attitude...is depression a curse or an opportunity? Is it an illness or a cleansing process? For me, it's a cleansing process!  If you can grow to see it as a cleansing process, then it's not really a matter of the right attitude. It will become part of your intelligence, part of your understanding of the growth process that DEPENDS on failure and mistakes for you to grow. |
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10-26-2011, 03:29 PM
| #10 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 183
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10-26-2011, 03:48 PM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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I forgot to mention that depression opens up the closed mind. It makes the person available to perspectives from others. When life seems to be going our way, who listens to another? Arrogance is a strong, closed mind while depression is a weak but open mind. Really, a weak mind is an open mind because the mind doesn't think it knows the answer. So depression is a quality of the mind, not of the being. It's an indicator, like the feeling of hunger or sleepiness or whatever. It's a time to reach out and clearly the person who posted this thread is reaching out. Depression is good. Being depressed about depression is not.  To be depressed about depression is to judge depression is bad.
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10-26-2011, 04:40 PM
| #13 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 62
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While I was Zoloft(sertraline) I had severe memory and concentration issues as well. I'd feel all hazy and spaced out all the time. So yeah, it's probably just the side effects from the meds. You'll get through this | |
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10-26-2011, 06:12 PM
| #14 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 285
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Do you have depression before? | |
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10-26-2011, 06:48 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 31
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Since you are able to communicate so well on these forums, that will help a great deal. But it is a long road ahead, a journey if you will, and if you can find the meaning in it, it should be fine. The problem is that you have to search for it. Feelings are the key. Especially anger at your self. This is a hard one to untangle but it is do-able. It is very important to experience what you are feeling and who you are being. There is an important lesson in that. |
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10-26-2011, 06:57 PM
| #17 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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Let if out...let your mind cleanse itself of any repressed feelings. It's self healing. | |
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10-26-2011, 10:37 PM
| #18 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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The symptoms are not because of the antidepressants. Purely down to past traumatic experience. I have been typing up how it happened and how i ended up the way i am now. It has brought back a couple of memories and released a bit of emotion just typing it up. Quite therapeutic actually. I will try to shorten it down and post it up just to give an idea of what i've experienced. I'm feeling a bit better now that i have actually been "FEELING" depressed. I've been telling my self if it's depression then just feel depressed and guess what it kind of is helping me to just feel sad. Lots of love Last edited by logical; 10-26-2011 at 10:42 PM. | |
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10-26-2011, 11:32 PM
| #19 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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The mind will take you on a roller coaster ride of infatuation followed by depression and back again to infatuation. You can get off that ride, but to know that it's just a ride and not a reality is almost enough to eliminate most of the ups and downs and those ups and downs won't be so dramatic nor last so long. Let it out....you're engineered to self-heal | |
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10-27-2011, 03:00 AM
| #20 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 62
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You must try EFT(I personally haven't done much of it, but many people here seemed to have gotten a lot of help out of it). Hope you feel better soon *hugs* | |
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10-27-2011, 12:36 PM
| #21 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 19
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best way to fight depression is mediation do that it will definitely work with you. there are many ways of mediation just look for the one that suit you. you can also develop a hobbies that will keep you busy and you will feel better and you can also go for a vocation that is also a another ways of reducing tension. |
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11-08-2011, 10:56 AM
| #22 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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Hi. Just a quick update. I've had periods where i've had a bit of relief. I've realised that it was not me feeling depressed that was alleviating my symptoms but rather me relaxing and that allowed my depression to lift as well as most of the symptoms thus allowing me to feel sad, upset, even cry, etc. So when i relax most of the symptoms are eased because i notice my breathing slowing down and feeling much calmer. So atleast i know that if i relax i can ease the symptoms considerably however after i have felt some relief i feel it all coming back on again and then it does. Now one thing that is playing on my mind is that the counsellor said that depression can strike anyone at anytime. That worried me quite abit as mine was due to an event or several events that lead to it. The idea that my mind could stop working at anytime as well as my memory and concentration is very scary. I probably have misunderstood it but with my anxiety levels really high i think it was inconsiderate of the counsellor to mention such things when he knew the symptoms i was experiencing and mine was due to specific events. This has been bugging me quite a bit now and has been since he said it over a year ago. Last edited by logical; 11-08-2011 at 03:48 PM. |
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11-08-2011, 01:23 PM
| #23 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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That's what happened to you and it hurt you. The relaxation helped because the thing that is relaxing is your mind. Your mind is feeling depressed, which is actually good if you allow the process, and when the mind relaxes, the emotions it is creating are relaxed and then you are feeling more yourself, which innately is life positive, not life negative. Depression means your ego is weak, your stubbornness is weak, you no longer think you got life figured out...all that is good because it opens a door to be teachable and you certainly are right now! :-). The trouble is that people teach you mind games and not true awareness to help you grow more intelligent about life so then you get infatuated over the next new belief then you crash and burn when that belief proves false, then get depressed, then get the next belief and so on. If you can get true perspective that gives you true a-ha's, then you grow and as you grow, you outgrow the roller coaster of the mind and life becomes a steadfast, cool experience, not what you're living now. The key is to see that you are not your mind. Your mind will take you on a roller coaster of infatuation and depression as the mind chases happiness for you. To solve this you must study how the mind works, see what is going on in your mind that keeps it working nonstop and not resting, and in moments of relaxation witnessing your true qualities like kindness and creativity. When you realize self then the mind is no longer tasked with finding happiness and it rests! And in that rest you see that being alive is a joy. :-) Last edited by RonSouther; 11-08-2011 at 01:29 PM. | |
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11-08-2011, 04:03 PM
| #24 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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thanks for the advice but i don't have the mental energy to deal with this anymore. Before i did where i'd have a new belief and it would give me relief for a short while but now it seems nothing clears my mind and brings back the feelings. The anti depressants are not really helping as much as i would have liked also. The dose has been increased to 100mg and i've been on them for almost 5 weeks. I seriously don't want to be like this any longer. It's just way too difficult to cope. Maybe i have poor coping skills, or maybe i've not met the right person to give me the help i need. But my mental energy has just gone. I've tried too many things. Many did work before. Don't work anymore. It's as if anything that works i get anxiety afterwards and i'm back to square one. Even though i know it has lifted the depression my mind will make it not work for me as good next time until it doesn't work for me any longer due to fear which i can't rationalise because if anything the fear should be when my mind is not functioning and i can't think or remember, etc. i have no real direction. I'm on AD tablets and now i really need to find a professional. I don't believe i'm at the level where i can figure things out for myself any longer because my mind just won't let me because of all the set backs i've had and it's too depressed. Maybe if i was less depressed the online stuff would have helped me as it did before about 3 years ago. Now i don't get any lift in mood from it. It's as if the anxiety has messed my mind up. I'm not my mind but how do i detach myself from it? i've tried honestly but i can't do it. If i'm not my mind then what am i? And how would i detach myself from it? Ive tried changing behaviour and just ignoring my mind and doing stuff regardless of what my mind is doing but it is tooo difficult and i've not seen much improvement if any from it. Thanks for all the help guys. |
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11-08-2011, 04:15 PM
| #25 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 1,400
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Logical, read Osho...he's got the most profound perspective to help you get distance from your mind. Even your username gives away a look at what you're dealing with.....life is not logic....trying to live logically is going to keep setting you up for disappointment after disappointment as your logic continues to fail you.
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11-08-2011, 04:36 PM
| #26 (permalink) |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
| HUGS logical First if you stay on medications you will need one that will treat both the depression and anxiety such as Paxil and Effexor.but remember all drugs have side -effects I am not one to judge whether or not you take these medications but also read this article Medical Information: Depression and Anxiety |
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11-08-2011, 05:06 PM
| #27 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: ohio
Posts: 345
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This is an interesting thread - good advice from the contributors. Logic, I recommend you take a closer look at RonSouther's post regarding beliefs. I found his perspective to be very illuminating and unique (not to suggest that others' posts were any less useful) and then you said this: "I don't believe i'm at the level where i can figure things out for myself any longer because my mind just won't let me because of all the set backs i've had and it's too depressed." I think this one idea RonSouther is pointing to. In a lot of ways, our emotional reactions tend to reflect our belief systems. The psychiatrists, doctors who prescribe meds, don't work on this - they treat the symptoms; that's their philosophy. Psychologists, the ones who don't prescribe meds, tend to help a person work toward an understanding of this concept. Let me tell you a little psychological story I once heard: A young boy is taken out of an abusive family. He had been starved, beaten, and abused in virtually every terrible way imaginable. Naturally, he formed an internal belief that "this is the way the world is; the world beats me up." So the boy is taken from that situation and put with a loving family. They shower him with love and well being. They treat him with the respect every human deserves. However, for some reason, the boy starts acting out. At first, it's little stuff - he throws temper tantrums, draws on the walls, etc. The parents sit him down and speak to him, good parenting, but he doesn't respond. He gets worse. Eventually he's trying to set fire to the house. Why? He still, subconsciously, carries the belief that the world beats him up, and his subconscious needs to affirm that belief. He is subconsciously asking to be punished by his new parents. But they won't do it. They're not affirming his belief, so he keeps acting out. When they ask him why he's doing this, he says "I don't know." And he really doesn't know; it's subconscious. That's basically how the mind works on a lot of levels. If I BELIEVE, I will perceive. For example, someone who believes in God sees Him everywhere. People who believe in energy fields and auras see them. And it works on even subtler levels than that often. For example, if I think I'm going to have a crappy day, well, it would probably take something as random as winning the lottery to change that outcome. Like Manasarovar said, and you seem to be realizing, "what you resist, persists." This statement, of course, is very interpretable. The way I see it apply here is that your mental energy is directed toward what you view as your faults or weaknesses, so those are what are continuing to develop. What I'd like to see you add here is some of the reverse. What's something your good at? What's something you enjoy doing? Who is someone (or something) in your life you care for or love? What's your favorite food? Where do you (or would you) like to go sight-seeing? Shoot, what's your favorite TV show? Favorite song? Who is someone you admire? Who is someone you once had (or have) a crush on? What's your dream job? I know these can be tough questions in certain states of mind, but I'd like to see if you have any response the those questions. Last edited by Philemon; 11-08-2011 at 05:10 PM. |
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11-08-2011, 05:30 PM
| #28 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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Last edited by logical; 11-08-2011 at 05:42 PM. | |
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11-08-2011, 05:32 PM
| #29 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 37
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I've read a lot about ADs but felt i had to take them because not much was working for me. I've heard of so many cases where they are necessary and can help and if it can help someone else then may be theres a chance that it will help me too. I'm just trying to hang in there. Last edited by logical; 11-08-2011 at 05:49 PM. | |
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11-08-2011, 05:48 PM
| #30 (permalink) | |
| Legendary Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,359
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and like I said I am not judging you for taking them but I just wanted you to know that other things can help your mind is working overtime -I can tell from your post you just need to find a method that works for you to be able to stay in the present moment and release all those negative thoughts your mind has to have some rest ,,,,,,,,have you ever been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD ? | |
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